Wanting it to stop.. - Rape Board

lucy · 11-14-2007, 09:25 PM

does anyone here want to stop their fantasies about rape??

i can't stand it anymore.. i feel like i'm going crazy i keep putting myself in dangerous situations i think to try and block out pain from the past but i want to be able to make love with a guy and not feel ashamed and angry afterwards! does anyone know how i feel or know how i can stop wanting sex only from force??

kodavictimm · 11-14-2007, 09:43 PM

I'm really not sure how to help you except to say that you need to find a good partner who will share your fantasy with you. Either a role-play partner you can trust or a real life guy who will indulge you.

I can tell you from first hand experience that if it's a deep-seeded fantasy, it won't matter how hard you try to run from it, it will always be there. I tried to stuff all my fetishes into the box of "religiosity" and after a certain amount of time, the stuff will not stay in the box.

Period.

Jasmine · 11-14-2007, 10:00 PM

Lucy,
I don't know about your past, but it sounds like you should seek professional counseling. If you were a victim, sometimes we manifest the feelings into self-destructive behavior.

PM me if you would like to discuss this privately.

I wish you the best.

RapeU · 11-15-2007, 12:09 AM

I don't think I want my fantasies to stop any time soon.

touriquet2001 · 11-15-2007, 12:37 AM

i really can't offer anymore than i did over the im . if you want to talk some more just get ahold of me

GOATBOY · 11-15-2007, 02:35 AM

yep, if you are not happy with it them you should seek counselling. Having fantasies is one thing, but when its exclusively about rape - especially when you don't like it - then you should do somthing about it.

You have not told me about being abused in the past or being bought up in a strict environment where wanted sex was seen as evil, but that could well be the case by the looks of things.

Our talks in the past have been arousing I'll admit, but I could sense somthing else was going on.

lucy · 11-15-2007, 07:40 AM

just some bad things happened. which makes me now feel so awful about anything i do with a guy.. i even feel guilty after kissing someone. it's like i can't sleep with someone unless they force me because otherwise it's like i'm giving back to men what they took from me in the first place like giving into them..do any other girls feel the same thing?
and with counseling can you just walk in anywhere and ask for it like that? and is it free? and will anyone understand it.. i came here because no one looks at you badly for these things but anyone else will won't they? and i don't feel like i could tell a guy that i liked or felt close with partly because i never get close to guys anymore!!

thank you for your replys

Willow663 · 11-15-2007, 07:52 AM

that is so weird i just created a new thread without seeing yours, i feel similar although ive not been what you have in the past, i hope you find the answers your looking for, keep your chin up hun.

GOATBOY · 11-15-2007, 08:09 AM

Start with samaritans I would say. Then they would tell you who to talk to. It would be easier over the phone, and there is no pressure to leave your real name.

ego · 11-15-2007, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucy

does anyone here want to stop their fantasies about rape??

I dont, i can control and deal with them.
It seems you cant, i suggest you accept Jasmine's offering.....

MADDOGMCMANAMAN · 11-15-2007, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucy

just some bad things happened with friends. which makes me now feel so awful about anything i do with a guy.. i even feel guilty after kissing someone. it's like i can't sleep with someone unless they force me because otherwise it's like i'm giving back to men what they took from me in the first place like giving into them..do any other girls feel the same thing?
and with counseling can you just walk in anywhere and ask for it like that? and is it free? and will anyone understand it.. i came here because no one looks at you badly for these things but anyone else will won't they? and i don't feel like i could tell a guy that i liked or felt close with partly because i never get close to guys anymore!!
sorry for talking about such depressing stuff.. you can tell me to go away. i just want answers but i understand if this is the wrong place to get them..but thank you for your replys

No one should tell u to go away !! - i bet theres people here who could help you ! if u got worries and problems speak to somebody here or in you rl.

i could try, but ill be honest - i would just be thinking about your breasts

tnc4fun · 11-15-2007, 05:20 PM

Juat armchair psychologizing (no, it's not a real word) here, but it seems like the number one issue for you is trust. It's the most difficult thing to give when you're dealing with others. especially if it's been betrayed in the past.

It seems to me that the most important requisite in fantasy rape is being able to trust that you won't be hurt either emotionally or physically by the other person(s) involved. If you cant trust the someone(s) else, then it's downright scary and self-destructive.

Although the issue is coming from you, it's not your problem. You need someone you can trust implicitly, someone who has earned that trust over the long haul. Take it slow with relationships and do seek counseling for your own peace of mind. Put your "rape" fantasies on the backburner until you can find that person you trust with whom you can share it.

Good luck to you.

11-15-2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucy

.... it's like i'm giving back to men what they took from me in the first place like giving into them..do any other girls feel the same thing?

i've always felt that way about sex, vanilla OR roleplaying. i've always felt like i somehow owed it to guys to sleep with them, whether i wanted to or not. i'm *just* now starting to break out of that mindset, but, still-it's hard.
if i understand you correctly, i believe i am like you when it comes to this.
after a certain incident a few years ago i felt like "well, it's gone anyway, might as well give it to them". i went to counseling for 2 years, it helps a LOT. like a bunch of others here, i'd suggest going, hon.
GOOD luck with all this<3

PravusLibertum · 11-16-2007, 11:29 PM

LOL Mad Dog!

I feel the same way, I suppose. It doesn't feel like a normal interest; watching two hot blondes getting off isn't as hot as if one of them is handcuffed to a bed and whimpering into a gag. I don't even know where it came from, as nobody I have ever known has been raped or had an interest in forced RP.

It feels less-than-normal for me, despite what I've tried to make of it in the past. Yes, I do sometimes wish I was just into the 'vanilla' stuff.

Emily Johnson · 11-18-2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ego

I dont, i can control and deal with them.
It seems you cant, i suggest you accept Jasmine's offering.....

I agree with Ego. Jasmine has experience wIth counseling and is very empathic. I've done rape counseling. If you'd prefer a man, I know one that's done rape counseling too. I think all three of us can do YIM or by telephone. I think YIM and telephone may be a poor substitute for face to face counseling, but who knows?

Depending on where you live there are lots of free services available. Your local Social Services dept can surely give you a list.

Best wishes.

11-14-2007, 09:25 PM	#1
lucy Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 22 Reputation: 10	Wanting it to stop.. does anyone here want to stop their fantasies about rape?? i can't stand it anymore.. i feel like i'm going crazy i keep putting myself in dangerous situations i think to try and block out pain from the past but i want to be able to make love with a guy and not feel ashamed and angry afterwards! does anyone know how i feel or know how i can stop wanting sex only from force??

11-14-2007, 09:43 PM	#2
kodavictimm Privileged Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 502 Reputation: 484	I'm really not sure how to help you except to say that you need to find a good partner who will share your fantasy with you. Either a role-play partner you can trust or a real life guy who will indulge you. I can tell you from first hand experience that if it's a deep-seeded fantasy, it won't matter how hard you try to run from it, it will always be there. I tried to stuff all my fetishes into the box of "religiosity" and after a certain amount of time, the stuff will not stay in the box. Period. __________________ No, I don't think I will rape you, although you need raping, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be raped and often, and by someone who knows how.

11-15-2007, 12:09 AM	#4
RapeU Yes = No. No = Yes Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,412 Reputation: 33359	I don't think I want my fantasies to stop any time soon. __________________ Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding

11-15-2007, 12:37 AM	#5
touriquet2001 please delete Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,805 Reputation: 35886	i really can't offer anymore than i did over the im . if you want to talk some more just get ahold of me Last edited by touriquet2001; 11-15-2007 at 12:40 AM.

11-15-2007, 02:35 AM	#6
GOATBOY Privileged Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: london uk Posts: 627 Reputation: 4793	yep, if you are not happy with it them you should seek counselling. Having fantasies is one thing, but when its exclusively about rape - especially when you don't like it - then you should do somthing about it. You have not told me about being abused in the past or being bought up in a strict environment where wanted sex was seen as evil, but that could well be the case by the looks of things. Our talks in the past have been arousing I'll admit, but I could sense somthing else was going on. __________________ HAPPINESS IS A DRY PUSSY

11-14-2007, 10:00 PM	#3
Jasmine Privileged Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,352 Reputation: 20045	Lucy, I don't know about your past, but it sounds like you should seek professional counseling. If you were a victim, sometimes we manifest the feelings into self-destructive behavior. PM me if you would like to discuss this privately. I wish you the best.

11-15-2007, 07:40 AM	#7
lucy Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 22 Reputation: 10	just some bad things happened. which makes me now feel so awful about anything i do with a guy.. i even feel guilty after kissing someone. it's like i can't sleep with someone unless they force me because otherwise it's like i'm giving back to men what they took from me in the first place like giving into them..do any other girls feel the same thing? and with counseling can you just walk in anywhere and ask for it like that? and is it free? and will anyone understand it.. i came here because no one looks at you badly for these things but anyone else will won't they? and i don't feel like i could tell a guy that i liked or felt close with partly because i never get close to guys anymore!! thank you for your replys Last edited by lucy; 02-07-2008 at 10:25 AM.

11-15-2007, 07:52 AM	#8
Willow663 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 8 Reputation: 12	that is so weird i just created a new thread without seeing yours, i feel similar although ive not been what you have in the past, i hope you find the answers your looking for, keep your chin up hun. __________________ Hurt me and make me scream please!

11-15-2007, 08:09 AM	#9
GOATBOY Privileged Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: london uk Posts: 627 Reputation: 4793	Start with samaritans I would say. Then they would tell you who to talk to. It would be easier over the phone, and there is no pressure to leave your real name. __________________ HAPPINESS IS A DRY PUSSY

11-15-2007, 05:20 PM	#12
tnc4fun Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 203 Reputation: 453	Juat armchair psychologizing (no, it's not a real word) here, but it seems like the number one issue for you is trust. It's the most difficult thing to give when you're dealing with others. especially if it's been betrayed in the past. It seems to me that the most important requisite in fantasy rape is being able to trust that you won't be hurt either emotionally or physically by the other person(s) involved. If you cant trust the someone(s) else, then it's downright scary and self-destructive. Although the issue is coming from you, it's not your problem. You need someone you can trust implicitly, someone who has earned that trust over the long haul. Take it slow with relationships and do seek counseling for your own peace of mind. Put your "rape" fantasies on the backburner until you can find that person you trust with whom you can share it. Good luck to you. __________________ The principles of lust are easy to understand, Do what you feel, feel until the end. The principles of lust are burned into your mind, Do what you want, do it until you find...love. Basic instincts, social life Paradoxes side by side Don't submit to stupid rules Be yourself and nobody's fool Don't accept average habits Open your heart and push the limits. The path of excess leads to the Tower of Wisdom. St. Michael Cretu

11-16-2007, 11:29 PM	#14
PravusLibertum Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 17 Reputation: 10	LOL Mad Dog! I feel the same way, I suppose. It doesn't feel like a normal interest; watching two hot blondes getting off isn't as hot as if one of them is handcuffed to a bed and whimpering into a gag. I don't even know where it came from, as nobody I have ever known has been raped or had an interest in forced RP. It feels less-than-normal for me, despite what I've tried to make of it in the past. Yes, I do sometimes wish I was just into the 'vanilla' stuff.