One Year Later -or- My Love/Hate Relationship With RB

[Sierra]

I joined Rape Board one year ago today.

Please....no congrats. I didn't want for this to become a self-serving "please pat me on the back" thread. The reasons why I did write it will I hope become clear as I go on.

The Sex

I spent decades thinking I was the only one. I was a good Catholic girl from Massachusetts. I went to Catholic boarding school. My sex education consisted mostly of "thou shalt nots" from the Sisters, "it's a wife's duty" from my mother, and the pink clouds and asterisks given out by romance novels. But late at night my thoughts didn't follow any of those lines. After 20 years of mostly vanilla sex, I Googled "Rape Discussion", expecting to get a bunch of self-pitying and/or admonishing boards about the horror, etc.. RB was at the top of the list. I clicked on it and my jaw dropped.

A whole community of people like me!!

Over the past year I have been able, with the help of RB and its members, to unashamedly explore a part of me that I had denied for a long time. It was both revelation and therapy for someone like me to be able to discuss sex so openly. Where else can you discuss the mechanics of anal sex with a roleplay partners? Where tears are considered an aphrodasiac? My tastes have evolved and refined through these kinds of discussions. I am quite different from what I was in the beginning and I'm glad of it.

The People

This is the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of RB.

The good: I have met some of the most interesting people on the net here. Some of them have become my friends off the board as well. My biggest surprise has been that - fantasies aside - the men here tend to be more protective and more respectful of women than on other (non-adult) boards. To cap it all off, in June of this year I was hit by a car and badly injured. I was shocked at the outpouring of support, and by the real and honest offers of support by the online community. I have found friendship and, yes, love here.

The bad: On the other hand, this board is made up of drama, lies, fighting and posturing. I have left this board in disgust on more than one occasion just because I got tired of the arguments. I love a good debate, but when the conversation descends to the "Sez you!" level, I'm out. Pawing the ground, peeing on the bushes, keyboard heroes, and multiple identities abound here. I include myself in this - I definitely have made a few posts I'm not proud of. Like drama? This is your place.

The ugly: On a more serious note, I have also met some ugly people on RB, and I don't mean physically. I have been threatened, insulted, berated, and belittled - then told that because no rules were broken nothing could be done. I have been stalked over several boards, been lied about and lied to and received at least one credible threat to my physical safety that scared me badly. In talking to other women on RB, I have realized that I am not the only gal who has received such treatment. It is, in fact, the norm. And you wonder why the ladies leave?

The Community

The community changes as some people drop off and others join, but there is always a commmunity and if you participate a sense of belonging.



So I raise my glass to you, RB, and raise it again to everyone who posts here. I thank you all for making this place what it is, and I'd love to hear from you what RB is to you.

[mifje]

Sierra: great post. Especially in the part about meeting RB I feel the same thing. I too was suprised how many people thought about rape and how the people are in RB. You expressed my words that I would never find.........

(and congrats ofcourse..)

[Fibonacci]

Really great post Sierra. Thanks for it, I'd love to read more posts here of what people are thinking, without making "statements".

I personally feel it slightly different.

I was attracted of violence sex (= humiliation of woman and sometimes even man, not a violence itself) from where I can remember. The sex in my family is no taboo and from my childhood we fe. walked naked at home on occasions. Sometimes it had to look quite funny - one member in bathroom, three other are watching TV waiting for bathroom, all naked

As I work in IT, I am familiar with internet for a long time now and I always knew how to look for porn I knew about BDSM, spank and some Russian, Netherlands and more rape movie sites. All of them paid of course, so nothing I could easily download. But I am anyway more attracted by images (they left more for my imagination) - I had quite a big collection of rape/bdsm images.

Rape fantasy was for me a matter of few underground producers and a hidden community of people. Something similar to kiddie porn - nothing you want to talk openly about. And nothing I wanted to be part of - I was just happy with my (I thought) big collection of images, all of them gathered for free from internet. And looking for new and new web pages was a great relax. And it is still - it is like hunting for a new victim I can dream of then.

And once about a year ago I googled somehow a RapeBoard. It was like a lightning. A lot of posts each day, unimaginable collection of rape movies, all of them free to download. All the people pretty normal , making fun, talking about common problems too. What I was thinking of sometimes was now true - this is a community of normal people who are all interested in rape fantasy. That was great feeling and I wanted to be part of it. I registered the first or second day and I was soo happy I can share my collection of rape images. This was one of my first posts

Since then I feel more comfortable with my thinkings, as I know it is quite normal. Everybody has some fetish and for me it is humiliation. I did not have problems with it, I know I am a good guy and would not hurt anybody. But sometimes I was afraid it could make problems in real life relationship. Does not Only I needed was a bit submissive partner

And about people here? I don't make friends easily. And I do not have any here. I have few real friends around me and that is just fine. But I truly respect few people on this board, I love to read the posts of others and I probably would go to pub, drink some beers, with some other. I know some are a real trolls here, but I could not give you any name - cause I don't care. As I don't make close relations here, I can easily stay out of fights and it is quite hard to "hit" me. Sometimes I read the fights (just for fun and because "rough" English is quite unusual to me), sometimes I even join the fight - but not to defend anyone, just to say what I want to say.

And that's it. This place did not change me, at least not much. But I am really grateful for this board. It opened new paths I can walk on
So I join and raise my glass to all the members of this great place!

----
Few days ago I went to buy new router board. I had a notice on a paper - RB411. What you think I asked for in a store? Yes, you got it

[touriquet2001]

a very nice post sierra . did they give you the 1 year anniversary coin ? i'm looking forward to seeing what the 5 year one looks like .

nice posting by all three of the members above me . thank you !!!!!

[Rogue]

This is one of the best posts I have seen here in some time, for many reasons, and I assure you I would say the same thing if it was Snale that had made it.

It is most interesting to me to learn some background as to how our members came to this fantasy, what they expected when they searched for a rape website/forum, and finally, how their fetish and desires have changed over time in certain ways.

It should also be noted that rarely do posts like these not involve seeking attention, sympathy, or provoking members or mods. I find it a breath of fresh air because the bad and the ugly Sierra mentioned relate to some of the reasons I have not been around as much this year.

I remember my first post on RB (lost in a crash) and the relief I felt at hitting reply. You would not have even recognized this Rogue, those of you that still do, as I picked any thread at all and gave rambling details of my favourite fantasy. It felt amazing. Nowadays if I see that I think, introduce yourself, idiot! So, while some people and some things have kept me away for a while, that is the RB I still see when I open it, that openness and opportunity I thought I would never be able to have with this fantasy.

[ego]

Amen.

[perfectlyformed]

Couldn't have said it better myself. It was such a revelation finding a whole website of people like me and dispite some fallings out (which I've avoided having anything to do with) everyone here is so cool with eachother

x

[menace]

You came at a very bad time. The board changed just prior to your arrival. I know exactly what you are talking about, and don't like it. This is not the RB I joined.

[perfectlyformed]

lol...theres NEVER a bad time to come!

x

[menace]

But there was a better one. And it is my firm belief that it can be that again. In fact, I think I'm gonna do something about it.

[perfectlyformed]

oh we should have a love in....or rape in or someting

x

[menace]

I was actually talking about something else... though your idea's good too, write it down for later.

[batffink]

Just read your revealing and interesting post Sierra and, old softie that I am, was very impressed by your honesty and the innate goodness that shines through. I feel somewhat the same as you but you expressed it so well that I'm sure that I and many others identified with you and nodded their heads as they read your post. May you remain a member of this community for many more years to come and continue to contribute as you always have. Cheers.

[Sierra]

You really are a sweetie, Batffink. I'm glad you're here, too. It's people like you who restore my faith and keep me checking in over here every now and then.

Thanks to you all for your responses. I wasn't at all sure what kind of reception I would get to this, but I'm happy that you all read it for what it was; an attempt to make sense of RB.

[Flavanostars]

Originally Posted by menace

You came at a very bad time. The board changed just prior to your arrival. I know exactly what you are talking about, and don't like it. This is not the RB I joined.

I actually find this board better now than before. For one thing, a lot of the notable people that are still here today weren't even members of RB before the summer of 2007. Although I really do wish that something could be done about all the newcomers that keep making incessant "thank you" posts or post spam/virus links.

Times change, and nothing stays the same, but hopefully RB remains in good form for all of us who find positive influences here.

[ShyAngel]

Sierra, a very intelligent and articulately written post.
This was the first forum of it's kind on this subject that I had ever looked at or participated in. For the most part I find this forum to be a great place to share a similar fetish with others that have the same fantasies that I do.

There are the occasional spam, but most forums are going to get that. Most everyone here has been exceptionally nice, there are always going to be the one or two people that like to try and start fights with other members, try to make trouble or just have personalities that aren't nice. I try to avoid them as much as possible.

I do agree with you on this point, the men on here are some of the nicest people you'd ever talk to.

[MADDOGMCMANAMAN]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I joined Rape Board one year ago today.

Please....no congrats. I didn't want for this to become a self-serving "please pat me on the back" thread. The reasons why I did write it will I hope become clear as I go on.

The Sex

I spent decades thinking I was the only one. I was a good Catholic girl from Massachusetts. I went to Catholic boarding school. My sex education consisted mostly of "thou shalt nots" from the Sisters, "it's a wife's duty" from my mother, and the pink clouds and asterisks given out by romance novels. But late at night my thoughts didn't follow any of those lines. After 20 years of mostly vanilla sex, I Googled "Rape Discussion", expecting to get a bunch of self-pitying and/or admonishing boards about the horror, etc.. RB was at the top of the list. I clicked on it and my jaw dropped.

A whole community of people like me!!

Over the past year I have been able, with the help of RB and its members, to unashamedly explore a part of me that I had denied for a long time. It was both revelation and therapy for someone like me to be able to discuss sex so openly. Where else can you discuss the mechanics of anal sex with a roleplay partners? Where tears are considered an aphrodasiac? My tastes have evolved and refined through these kinds of discussions. I am quite different from what I was in the beginning and I'm glad of it.

The People

This is the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of RB.

The good: I have met some of the most interesting people on the net here. Some of them have become my friends off the board as well. My biggest surprise has been that - fantasies aside - the men here tend to be more protective and more respectful of women than on other (non-adult) boards. To cap it all off, in June of this year I was hit by a car and badly injured. I was shocked at the outpouring of support, and by the real and honest offers of support by the online community. I have found friendship and, yes, love here.

The bad: On the other hand, this board is made up of drama, lies, fighting and posturing. I have left this board in disgust on more than one occasion just because I got tired of the arguments. I love a good debate, but when the conversation descends to the "Sez you!" level, I'm out. Pawing the ground, peeing on the bushes, keyboard heroes, and multiple identities abound here. I include myself in this - I definitely have made a few posts I'm not proud of. Like drama? This is your place.

The ugly: On a more serious note, I have also met some ugly people on RB, and I don't mean physically. I have been threatened, insulted, berated, and belittled - then told that because no rules were broken nothing could be done. I have been stalked over several boards, been lied about and lied to and received at least one credible threat to my physical safety that scared me badly. In talking to other women on RB, I have realized that I am not the only gal who has received such treatment. It is, in fact, the norm. And you wonder why the ladies leave?

The Community

The community changes as some people drop off and others join, but there is always a commmunity and if you participate a sense of belonging.



So I raise my glass to you, RB, and raise it again to everyone who posts here. I thank you all for making this place what it is, and I'd love to hear from you what RB is to you.

*Raises glass back*

Cheers to you too Sierra, It is true that this board has changed a lot and for sure the drama has increased as well. but it still is one of the coolest places to hang out online !

[theDarkOne]

Hey we joined at the same time....

It's funny.When i first came here i was all about the movies.I never even went into Idle or Rowdy.Now one year later it's the reverse.I come here for the people and just some times the movies....I to have gotten into it with people and im never proud of that but the good people i have met here(like yourself) keep me coming back.

To all of my RB friends,i salute you

[whyaskwhy]

Originally Posted by perfectlyformed

lol...theres NEVER a bad time to come!

x

ha,Ha! I was totally thinking that!

[whyaskwhy]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

Hey we joined at the same time....

It's funny.When i first came here i was all about the movies.I never even went into Idle or Rowdy.Now one year later it's the reverse.I come here for the people and just some times the movies....I to have gotten into it with people and im never proud of that but the good people i have met here(like yourself) keep me coming back.

To all of my RB friends,i salute you

I have a similar existence here.I haven't gotten into it with anyone (yet) and as far as I know everyone accepts me but I totally used to just check out this site for the movies and decided to join because there was a thread count post limit on the movies because of the rat.(For newbies that means a member was reporting links to movies to rapid-share and they were being blocked by that hosting site so RB set up a "solution" to the reporting problem.A poster of a movie could restrict viewing the links to only those members with a pre-determined amount of posts.It sucked but it worked.The rat is no more and neither is the restriction.YAY!)Anyway,now I log on for the people.You guys are great and I'm glad to know ya.Except for you ************* ! lol! I'M ONLY KIDDING,of course!Who am I to be serious for an entire post!?