Now That It Happened, What Do I Do? - Rape Board

Bella-In-Progress · 07-17-2009, 10:18 AM

Growing up in a family of strange people with strange moral values I've always been engulfed within' a world with no boundaries. My family and I, even to this day live by the philosophy that being who you are is the most important variable in living a happy life. As Dr. Seuss put it; "Be who you are and say what you feel. For those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." With this upbringing I, being the eccentric boy that I am, was easily able to embrace my attraction towards males and my love for dressing up as feminine as possible. It's funny and very ironic at this point because the first thing my father told me when I came out of the closet about crossdressing was: "Just be safe about it. We don't live in a place where that sort of thing is 100% tolerated." I knew what he meant because I know how cities in Southern California can be. I knew this wasn't San Fransisco, Seattle or New York City. I grew up in a hard neighborhood to say the least but I did it anyway and up until last night the worst thing I could get was the jock whizzing by in his Jeep screaming; "HEY FAGGOT!!!". There was abuse here and there but never anything serious....until the night before last.

My fiancee' and I are the quiet types but still yearn for social gathering from time to time. Two nights ago we attended the party of a very good friend of mine from Middle School. A friend who has chosen to surround himself with a very typical crowd. Picture a majority of college stereotypes and you will easily be able to envision this party easily. At first I didn't want to go for this reason but my fiancee' encouraged me since him and I are childhood friends (typically I stay away from his parties, this night was different because he is leaving to study abroad next week so I won't see him for quite some time). So we attend and I decide to crossdress. Something that, at the time, I didn't regret and a majority of me still doesn't but in the end most would see it as a terrible choice.

Fiancee' and I show up, at his house, we're greeted by my friend and we enter the party. Night is going great. We're having drinks, dancing, eating, playing video games. It was strange at the time because it was one of the first parties I had been to in feminine attire and NO ONE harassed me or even hit on me. I assumed it was because they were all friends of my dear friend and so they didn't bother. What they DID inquire about is the fact that I was attending this party with my fiancee', a woman. So automatically they were all into "Ooooo lesbians" to which we just laughed. Towards the end of this party a handful of new guests arrive. They come into the living room with the rest of us who are all enjoying rounds of Gears of War. I notice right off the bat that two of the new guests are eying me. I don't mean "Cute" eying...I mean "undressing with eyes" eying. So for the rest of the evening we're all getting along, even the guys who are giving me weird looks get along with me and we're just having a good time.

I remember having to use the bathroom. So I tell my fiancee' I'm heading to the bathroom, which I was familiar with, this being my friend's house. So I head on up. There are people chatting on the stairways and some in the hall but at the end of the hallway, where the bathroom was, there was nobody. So I open the bathroom door, head inside and do my thing. I begin to wash my hands when I hear a knock at the door. I say I'll be out in a second and then suddenly the door bursts open. It's the two guys who were giving me very odd looks. All I remember is before I could even scream one of them literally LUNGED at me, making sure his one hand went over my mouth and that his fist went deep into my stomach. He knocked me hard against the wall, while the other guy closed the door behind him. It became hard to see because I off the bat began to cry and it blurred my vision. I was struggling, punching, clawing and kicking. Before i know it he has me on the ground, he pulls my arms up, sits on them and keeps my mouth covered. I remember him looking at the other guy and saying "Lift up her skirt and take her panties off, quick." With no hesitation the other guy does so and they see it....that I'm a boy. He begins laughing hysterically....the guy sitting on my arms actually looks at me and just punches me in the face. "You sick little fucker!!!" he screams at me before punching me again. He takes his hand off my mouth, I yell, he punches me again. No one came...they didn't hear me. "What should we do now?" asks the guy who took my underwear and skirt off. The guy sitting on me replies with "Fucking make this disgusting faggot suffer." The pain was the worst thing in the world...he began kicking me in my crotch, over and over and over and over and over. It felt like it was going on for 20 minutes or so.

Then they raped me. These apparently "straight" guys who felt so disgusted by a man in female clothes raped me.

*is in tears as he writes this*

It was fucking terrible, it was awful! When we got home, I tried to kill myself. I literally locked myself in the bathroom and tried to hang myself. It was disgusting, fucking disgusting!!

I was so terrified and they did it for what felt like hours!!! HOURS!!! I knew it wasn't but it felt that way. Luckily my fiancee' came up to see what was wrong. When she knocked and I wouldn't answer i heard her yell for my friend. They busted down the door and saved me. I couldn't move....my face was bruised and bleeding. My entire crotch felt numb, fucking numb. I'm surprised nothing is damaged, just heavily injured but nothing permanent. It hurts to sit....it hurts to breath because of what they did to my throat. They fucking made me feel like dying. I still feel like dying.

....I don't know what to do or how to get over it....*can't stop crying*

crimsondesire · 07-17-2009, 10:27 AM

I am so sorry this has happened to you,I don't quite know what to say. It is sickening to think that anybody could be that horrible. If you ever need somebody to talk to Im there to listen. So sorry.

Stainless Steel Rat · 07-17-2009, 10:37 AM

The simplest recommendation I can make here Bella is the rather "stock" answer to be used in any such case. See out help and assistance in the RW. Visit a doctor {if you haven't already} and make sure that your physical injuries are taken care of then consult with professional rape counselors or perhaps a support group or both. And {if you haven't already} contact the police and see those individuals pay for their crime. Though you will find support and sympathetic ears here on the forum, for the most part none of us are experts nor do we have any real training in how to help folks cope with such a traumatic event. I wish you the best of luck in your healing.

Cheers all from the Stainless Steel Rat

Flesh4Fantasy · 07-17-2009, 10:40 AM

Bella,

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know there is nothing I can say so soon to really help you with the pain you must be feeling on so many levels. Only that I truly wish there were some magic phrase which could be written here...

So many questions to ask - and all are too personal for this Forum. So I will not ask.

Listen to your fiancee and to your family for advice. They care about you and will help. They mean well, I'm sure, and will get you help if they are unable to provide it directly.

I am sure that I am not the only friend you have here who will now add you to their thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through this dark time.

PM me if ever you need something from me, Dear One.

F4F

ChiTownHoney · 07-17-2009, 04:16 PM

Bella, let me tell you that the worst that you can do right now is nothing at all. That night will come back to emotional destroy you if you choose to ignore it. What you do need is to speak to somebody about what happened...a licensed professional. They can really help you to overcome this ordeal. Also I would recommend a support group...knowing that others have been through the same thing is comforting and will give you lots of support as you go through the healing process. Just know that things happen to us and people hurt us...but we survive and get back up and are stronger.

I'm not trained in rape crisis counseling, but I can help by listening and giving support if you need it.

best of luck.

pervipete · 07-17-2009, 04:29 PM

I have nothing to add but my support, if you want me I am there mate.

Good luck mate

theDarkOne · 07-17-2009, 07:29 PM

Im so so sorry this has happened to you.

You have been nothing but nice to everyone here and im sure that is how you are in the real world.I wish there was something i could say to make what happened to you easier.This is a fucked up world we live in.There are terrible people all around but it is a better place because you are in it....

I would fucking kill those guys if i had the chance.

I know we are just internet friends.Little words on a screen,but if i can help in any way.Please ask.PM me or i can send you my email.

Take care of yourself...

pervipete · 07-17-2009, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

You have been nothing but nice to everyone here and im sure that is how you are in the real world.I wish there was something i could say to make what happened to you easier.This is a fucked up world we live in.There are terrible people all around but it is a better place because you are in it....

I would fucking kill those guys if i had the chance.

I couldn't agree more with these sentiments TDO

SecretObsession · 07-17-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

...
You have been nothing but nice to everyone here and im sure that is how you are in the real world.
...

I feel the same way. And to read that you were subjected to such savage, inhumane, brutality is incredibly disturbing. Take support and comfort from family and friends, and remember... you are loved

TZOFOSHO · 07-17-2009, 10:51 PM

Bella, I can only echo everyone else's sentiments. It's horrible that this happened to such a sweet person, and if you need anything, my inbox is always there.

I think the 'stock' answer provided by SSR, and chi town's posts are the best advice anyone on the board can give. The problem can't be taken care of on the board only in real life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stainless Steel Rat

The simplest recommendation I can make here Bella is the rather "stock" answer to be used in any such case. See out help and assistance in the RW. Visit a doctor {if you haven't already} and make sure that your physical injuries are taken care of then consult with professional rape counselors or perhaps a support group or both. And {if you haven't already} contact the police and see those individuals pay for their crime. Though you will find support and sympathetic ears here on the forum, for the most part none of us are experts nor do we have any real training in how to help folks cope with such a traumatic event. I wish you the best of luck in your healing.

Cheers all from the Stainless Steel Rat

Again, i'm sickened this happened to you, let me know if you need anything.

AWDracer · 07-18-2009, 02:05 AM

I truly have no words to write.

PLEASE, for yourself, and on behalf of all the victims who left their rape unreported, REPORT TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE EVENT SO THAT YOU CAN RAISE THE STATISTIC THEREFORE HELP RAISE AWARENESS. Let's hope those guys can be arrested and prosecuted to the highest limit of the law.

I'm truly sorry for what happened to you. PLEASE REPORT THIS TO POLICE.

Once&ForeverEternalBloom · 07-18-2009, 02:07 AM

I agree,they deserve to be caught it was a terrible thing to do and no body deserves to have to go through this.

hellminth · 07-18-2009, 02:30 AM

Thought I'd come out of my hiding and send you are message of support too.

I am sure you will get lots of support and comfort from the people here, but deep down it will always stay with you, make you feel weak,vulnerable and powerless. The only way you can get over it would be to stare them in the eyes as they are put behind bars, as well as knowing that they won't be doing it to other people.

Think you know we are standing by you.

07-17-2009, 10:18 AM	#1
Bella-In-Progress Privileged Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Southern California Posts: 278 Reputation: 16631	Now That It Happened, What Do I Do? Growing up in a family of strange people with strange moral values I've always been engulfed within' a world with no boundaries. My family and I, even to this day live by the philosophy that being who you are is the most important variable in living a happy life. As Dr. Seuss put it; "Be who you are and say what you feel. For those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." With this upbringing I, being the eccentric boy that I am, was easily able to embrace my attraction towards males and my love for dressing up as feminine as possible. It's funny and very ironic at this point because the first thing my father told me when I came out of the closet about crossdressing was: "Just be safe about it. We don't live in a place where that sort of thing is 100% tolerated." I knew what he meant because I know how cities in Southern California can be. I knew this wasn't San Fransisco, Seattle or New York City. I grew up in a hard neighborhood to say the least but I did it anyway and up until last night the worst thing I could get was the jock whizzing by in his Jeep screaming; "HEY FAGGOT!!!". There was abuse here and there but never anything serious....until the night before last. My fiancee' and I are the quiet types but still yearn for social gathering from time to time. Two nights ago we attended the party of a very good friend of mine from Middle School. A friend who has chosen to surround himself with a very typical crowd. Picture a majority of college stereotypes and you will easily be able to envision this party easily. At first I didn't want to go for this reason but my fiancee' encouraged me since him and I are childhood friends (typically I stay away from his parties, this night was different because he is leaving to study abroad next week so I won't see him for quite some time). So we attend and I decide to crossdress. Something that, at the time, I didn't regret and a majority of me still doesn't but in the end most would see it as a terrible choice. Fiancee' and I show up, at his house, we're greeted by my friend and we enter the party. Night is going great. We're having drinks, dancing, eating, playing video games. It was strange at the time because it was one of the first parties I had been to in feminine attire and NO ONE harassed me or even hit on me. I assumed it was because they were all friends of my dear friend and so they didn't bother. What they DID inquire about is the fact that I was attending this party with my fiancee', a woman. So automatically they were all into "Ooooo lesbians" to which we just laughed. Towards the end of this party a handful of new guests arrive. They come into the living room with the rest of us who are all enjoying rounds of Gears of War. I notice right off the bat that two of the new guests are eying me. I don't mean "Cute" eying...I mean "undressing with eyes" eying. So for the rest of the evening we're all getting along, even the guys who are giving me weird looks get along with me and we're just having a good time. I remember having to use the bathroom. So I tell my fiancee' I'm heading to the bathroom, which I was familiar with, this being my friend's house. So I head on up. There are people chatting on the stairways and some in the hall but at the end of the hallway, where the bathroom was, there was nobody. So I open the bathroom door, head inside and do my thing. I begin to wash my hands when I hear a knock at the door. I say I'll be out in a second and then suddenly the door bursts open. It's the two guys who were giving me very odd looks. All I remember is before I could even scream one of them literally LUNGED at me, making sure his one hand went over my mouth and that his fist went deep into my stomach. He knocked me hard against the wall, while the other guy closed the door behind him. It became hard to see because I off the bat began to cry and it blurred my vision. I was struggling, punching, clawing and kicking. Before i know it he has me on the ground, he pulls my arms up, sits on them and keeps my mouth covered. I remember him looking at the other guy and saying "Lift up her skirt and take her panties off, quick." With no hesitation the other guy does so and they see it....that I'm a boy. He begins laughing hysterically....the guy sitting on my arms actually looks at me and just punches me in the face. "You sick little fucker!!!" he screams at me before punching me again. He takes his hand off my mouth, I yell, he punches me again. No one came...they didn't hear me. "What should we do now?" asks the guy who took my underwear and skirt off. The guy sitting on me replies with "Fucking make this disgusting faggot suffer." The pain was the worst thing in the world...he began kicking me in my crotch, over and over and over and over and over. It felt like it was going on for 20 minutes or so. Then they raped me. These apparently "straight" guys who felt so disgusted by a man in female clothes raped me. is in tears as he writes this It was fucking terrible, it was awful! When we got home, I tried to kill myself. I literally locked myself in the bathroom and tried to hang myself. It was disgusting, fucking disgusting!! I was so terrified and they did it for what felt like hours!!! HOURS!!! I knew it wasn't but it felt that way. Luckily my fiancee' came up to see what was wrong. When she knocked and I wouldn't answer i heard her yell for my friend. They busted down the door and saved me. I couldn't move....my face was bruised and bleeding. My entire crotch felt numb, fucking numb. I'm surprised nothing is damaged, just heavily injured but nothing permanent. It hurts to sit....it hurts to breath because of what they did to my throat. They fucking made me feel like dying. I still feel like dying. ....I don't know what to do or how to get over it....can't stop crying __________________ We are Fighting Dreamers, aiming high, not caring about appearances, because we believe

07-17-2009, 10:27 AM	#2
crimsondesire Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 382 Reputation: 7970	:( I am so sorry this has happened to you,I don't quite know what to say. It is sickening to think that anybody could be that horrible. If you ever need somebody to talk to Im there to listen. So sorry. __________________ Nails tear at raw flesh,cutting deep, tossing and turning, quivering with delight as I weep. Eyes wide open and mouth taped shut breathing barely, hands tied up. A loving heart completly ravished, a home for two,taught to share. Blood runs thick on skin so pale and just like my soul,body bare. Tears are dry, mascara stale, My twisted fairy tale.

07-17-2009, 10:37 AM	#3
Stainless Steel Rat Lord of the Labyrinth Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Center of the Maze Posts: 397 Reputation: 68922	The simplest recommendation I can make here Bella is the rather "stock" answer to be used in any such case. See out help and assistance in the RW. Visit a doctor {if you haven't already} and make sure that your physical injuries are taken care of then consult with professional rape counselors or perhaps a support group or both. And {if you haven't already} contact the police and see those individuals pay for their crime. Though you will find support and sympathetic ears here on the forum, for the most part none of us are experts nor do we have any real training in how to help folks cope with such a traumatic event. I wish you the best of luck in your healing. Cheers all from the Stainless Steel Rat __________________ "The lost souls of the Labyrinth"

07-17-2009, 04:16 PM	#5
ChiTownHoney Pa'l Mundo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ObamaNation Posts: 2,460 Reputation: 33436	Bella, let me tell you that the worst that you can do right now is nothing at all. That night will come back to emotional destroy you if you choose to ignore it. What you do need is to speak to somebody about what happened...a licensed professional. They can really help you to overcome this ordeal. Also I would recommend a support group...knowing that others have been through the same thing is comforting and will give you lots of support as you go through the healing process. Just know that things happen to us and people hurt us...but we survive and get back up and are stronger. I'm not trained in rape crisis counseling, but I can help by listening and giving support if you need it. best of luck. Last edited by ChiTownHoney; 07-17-2009 at 04:21 PM.

07-17-2009, 04:29 PM	#6
pervipete Watching from the shadows Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The Shadowlands... Posts: 5,170 Reputation: 118528	I have nothing to add but my support, if you want me I am there mate. Good luck mate __________________ Tonight love, we'll do a rape roleplay No!! That's the spirit... Spam Reporting Thread The Hazelton Chronicles Blackmailing the MILF's Chapter One The Rape Board Chronicles - LilLinzi in the Alley Consquences

07-17-2009, 10:40 AM	#4
Flesh4Fantasy Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wandering the Formless Void Posts: 1,779 Reputation: 76205	Bella, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know there is nothing I can say so soon to really help you with the pain you must be feeling on so many levels. Only that I truly wish there were some magic phrase which could be written here... So many questions to ask - and all are too personal for this Forum. So I will not ask. Listen to your fiancee and to your family for advice. They care about you and will help. They mean well, I'm sure, and will get you help if they are unable to provide it directly. I am sure that I am not the only friend you have here who will now add you to their thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through this dark time. PM me if ever you need something from me, Dear One. F4F

07-17-2009, 07:29 PM	#7
theDarkOne Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Never gonna give you up,Never gonna let you down,Never gonna run around and desert you. Posts: 1,693 Reputation: 57368	Im so so sorry this has happened to you. You have been nothing but nice to everyone here and im sure that is how you are in the real world.I wish there was something i could say to make what happened to you easier.This is a fucked up world we live in.There are terrible people all around but it is a better place because you are in it.... I would fucking kill those guys if i had the chance. I know we are just internet friends.Little words on a screen,but if i can help in any way.Please ask.PM me or i can send you my email. Take care of yourself...

07-18-2009, 02:05 AM	#11
AWDracer Self-exiled Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,017 Reputation: 13270	I truly have no words to write. PLEASE, for yourself, and on behalf of all the victims who left their rape unreported, REPORT TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE EVENT SO THAT YOU CAN RAISE THE STATISTIC THEREFORE HELP RAISE AWARENESS. Let's hope those guys can be arrested and prosecuted to the highest limit of the law. I'm truly sorry for what happened to you. PLEASE REPORT THIS TO POLICE.

07-18-2009, 02:07 AM	#12
Once&ForeverEternalBloom Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Australia. Posts: 28 Reputation: 2394	I agree,they deserve to be caught it was a terrible thing to do and no body deserves to have to go through this. __________________ Nails tear at raw flesh,cutting deep, tossing and turning, quivering with delight as I weep. Eyes wide open and mouth taped shut breathing barely,hands tied up. A loving heart completly ravished, a home for two,taught to share. Blood runs thick on skin so pale and just like my soul,body bare. Tears are dry, mascara stale, My twisted fairy tale.

07-18-2009, 02:30 AM	#13
hellminth Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 214 Reputation: 19313	Thought I'd come out of my hiding and send you are message of support too. I am sure you will get lots of support and comfort from the people here, but deep down it will always stay with you, make you feel weak,vulnerable and powerless. The only way you can get over it would be to stare them in the eyes as they are put behind bars, as well as knowing that they won't be doing it to other people. Think you know we are standing by you. __________________ Open up and say AHHH!