Self Respect

[Sternenlied]

Originally Posted by BTN

Although from my dumb male point of view I couldn't articulate it as well as you.

You point of view isn't necessarily "dumb" just because you're male - although that is highly probable.

Originally Posted by BTN

lol.....the guys you mean get called "alpha males" and yes they can be a bit intimidating.

In Anthropology, psychology, sociology ... they might be called "alpha males" but I've never met a single man who ever said 'Yeah, he's a real alpha male!' ...

[BTN]

oh I use it. But I'm weird

But they exist and they tend to cause some friction with eachother and the other guys in a given club or environment. Its largely why fights start.

Another good word for them is "wanker"

[Sternenlied]

So you don't consider yourself one of them I presume?

[pervipete]

[QUOTE=Sternenlied;357875]So yes ... some women are more sensitive to being called names and being labelled.
Not because our self-esteem is so low but simply because we're sick of being objectified by stupid wankers all the time.QUOTE]


<Thinks for a moment, how can I put this without causing offence> (we really need a thinking icon here LOL)

This site, and others like it, are not the best sites to join if you uncomfortable with being seen as a sex object.

It does not matter if you flirty like Sierra, LilLinzi or BoredMom, or more scary like Stern's online personna.

You own personal sexual preference, straight, gay or bi will have no bearing on this.

Someone will work you into a fantasy, it is that kind of site.

And these could be of any type, from more vanila style coercian to full on BDSM 'tie 'em up and call them slut' type.

[Sternenlied]

There has obviously been a misunderstanding.

You are talking about RB (or similar internet sites) while I was talking about real life (more specifically at work).

On here - you're certainly right, I don't object to that. Participiating on a sex-oriented internet site is bound to get you objectified, no argument there.

At work however - I don't see why I (or any other woman for that matter) would have to accept it. That's what I was taking about.

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Well, I guess I missed the best part of a fascinating discussion - that will teach me to try and catch up on some sleep.

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

There has obviously been a misunderstanding.

You are talking about RB (or similar internet sites) while I was talking about real life (more specifically at work).

On here - you're certainly right, I don't object to that. Participiating on a sex-oriented internet site is bound to get you objectified, no argument there.

At work however - I don't see why I (or any other woman for that matter) would have to accept it. That's what I was taking about.

This quote goes to the point I was making earlier... The necessary distance between thought and act.

This is a Fantasy site where everything is in the mind - but magnified as we share with similar minded people. Hopefully, our behavior here is not how we act in RL. Rather it is a safe environment in which to express those thoughts which have serious consequences if acted upon. The personae we operate under in RB are magnifications of those desires.

For myself (at least) the distance between RB thought and RL act is quite large.

For some the appearance of action on RB reminds them of RL acts - either positive or negative and/or feelings associated with being the enactor or being acted upon... (tangled syntax... sorry, I hope that's clear) The magnified thought may come to feel like an act. It is all still just words on a screen.

As for being objectified - that is not solely a problem for women. As a man I have been objectified in RL and on RB... But men don't really mind as much - it feeds the ego (our largest part LOL). Sometimes this is wanted, sometimes not - the same as for women.

As for studs or "alpha-dogs"... As BTN said - it is not all one happy brotherhood. There are frictions and problems caused... It is not a continual parade of "high fives" for the "conquering heroes". Much of that sort of thing that does go on is from lesser dogs squirming their submission to gain favor with an "alpha". Nothing there to interest me on RB or in RL. *yawn*

As for sluts - I am a slut, what of it? Any woman can call me slut and I will be most pleased. Is it derogatory for a woman to be called a slut? Yes. Would I call a woman a slut during play? Yes, if that's what she liked. Although I prefer the term, "My Slut." Would I call that same woman a slut in public? Probably not... Never say never, LOL.

BTN - as always I appreciated the male humor of your posts. You are so often tongue in cheek that they (women) can not sort out serious from sly. Keep up the good work, Brother. Women send us so much confusion every day, yet they can't stand when we do it to them. That is so cute, one of the reasons we love them so.

[pervipete]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

There has obviously been a misunderstanding.

You are talking about RB (or similar internet sites) while I was talking about real life (more specifically at work).

On here - you're certainly right, I don't object to that. Participiating on a sex-oriented internet site is bound to get you objectified, no argument there.

At work however - I don't see why I (or any other woman for that matter) would have to accept it. That's what I was taking about.

Sorry Stern me bad, it was just general thinking out loud prompted by your post, should have mentioned that in the post.

It is just that I have been doing a bit of thinking about how I felt when I first joined. While this is the not the first sex oriented site I have joined, this has been the first one that I have actually wanted to take part in threads.

Maybe it would have been better off either in its own thread, or just in my mind.

But, when I first started posting I was a little, shocked, surprised at some of the posts, both from male posters and females posters.

And I theresay, I have not been the first, and will not be the last, to feel this. And as most of these posts are from men to women, it could be a little be more disconcerting for a woman who is new to this.

This is not meant as a critism. One of the reasons I stayed is this, for want of a better term, heavy, sexually charged, flirting.

I think it is great that they is a place where people can say pretty much what they like, describe what sexually acts, some estremely kinky, without fear that the other person is going to get offended, instead chances are they will get some kind of responce, even if it is just a 'you wish ', in actual fact, a lot of the women positively encourage it. Thank god.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by pervipete

I do wonder with some of the females on this site whether the fact that they had been abused, some at the start of, or even before, their sexual developement, maybe Stern can cast some light on this. Maybe if someone is called a slut or a whore long enough at an early enough stage then that is what they will always see themselves as....etc. etc.

Ok. So if you think that the females on here might have some kind of psychological deficiencies, what about the males who like the idea of beating and raping a female? Why is it that women cant be into this, but its perfectly healthy and normal for a man to be into fantasizing about beating, raping, violating and all around just being a bad bad man and hurting people?

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Ok. So if you think that the females on here might have some kind of psychological deficiencies, what about the males who like the idea of beating and raping a female? Why is it that women cant be into this, but its perfectly healthy and normal for a man to be into fantasizing about beating, raping, violating and all around just being a bad bad man and hurting people?

"I'm sorry, baby. I don't know what came over me. I swear it will never happen again..."

But seriously, good point Chi. It goes back to respecting boundaries. Fantasy can be healthy. Sharing fantasies can be exciting and healthy. Acting out fantasies requires trust and respect between partners.

It goes back to the distance between thought and action. For either sex - if you can not help crossing someones explicitly stated boundary... Then you NEED Help.

[pervipete]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Ok. So if you think that the females on here might have some kind of psychological deficiencies, what about the males who like the idea of beating and raping a female? Why is it that women cant be into this, but its perfectly healthy and normal for a man to be into fantasizing about beating, raping, violating and all around just being a bad bad man and hurting people?

Chi, a couple of things...

Firstly this thread is about why WOMEN are into this, to talk, ask and speculate about mine and the other men on this boards motivation would take the thread away from its original point and be inpolite to the original poster.

Secondary, not once, in this, or any other post, have I ever belittled ay woman for being into this fantasy, in fact my posts have always been of the opinion of what works for you, works for you. I was expressing a thought, a question, that is all.

The only women who's fantasy I question as potentially unheathy and dwonright dangerous are those, like yourself, who profess a desire to be raped for real, not as part of some kind of role play.

Unlike some on here, I do not judge my fellow members. We all have our stories, and as you rightly said, we are all into this for our own, various reasons. If I have ever given the impression that I was, then I am truly sorry, that has not been my intent.

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Ok. So if you think that the females on here might have some kind of psychological deficiencies, what about the males who like the idea of beating and raping a female? Why is it that women cant be into this, but its perfectly healthy and normal for a man to be into fantasizing about beating, raping, violating and all around just being a bad bad man and hurting people?

Damn good point Chi

[BTN]

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by BTN

I actually think Chi's point was a very good one BTN.
It is not something that gets addressed much at RB.

I can see though that your another one of those guys
who acts like he's better than others and then does the
kind of things he talks down to members about.

It's kinda funny.

[BTN]

At what point did I say anything about your posting of emotes in reply to anyones posts? I never did. Pervipete did, but not me.

Its not nice when it gets done to you though is it?

[theDarkOne]

It did not upset me BTN.Not in the least.
Im not that thin skinned.

I was just pointing out the hypocrisy of it all
and showing what you are...

Good luck with that.

Now if you want you can continue this drama
here.Or start a thread about mean old me in the Rowdy
Room.I don't care.I do find it interesting how
you haters are so into me.It's like you just can't
get me off your mind.

I liked Chi's post.I thought it was an interesting
statement that does not get addressed enough
on this board.I wanted to show my support for it.
I did and now im out.

[BTN]

Thanks for agreeing on the hypocrisy thing mate. But this isn't the reaction of someone who isn't bothered.

But yes I am showing what I am. A bloody funny bloke

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just drew that line to show my edit clearly. How do I respond to an edited post mate? If you have something to add by all means do so but I have no want or need to make a thread all about you mate. You call me a hater? ok I can deal with that. But to say I'm after drama when this is your reaction to a simple emote?

sheesh

[Seventeen]

Just wanting to back up a bit to the word 'slut' and how interesting it is that that word keeps coming up over and over again in relation to women with rape fantasies.

I would have to say from a personal point of view that I am the opposite of a slut. I do not go around bars hanging on every guy like some women do (although they could just be teases). I do not sleep with men I just meet, which seems to be the norm for many. If anything I am sexually repressed! I have desires which I do not act upon, which only works to intensify my fantasies. And yet I think that people I've met on this board and others get the general overall impression that women with rape fantasies are sluts. But in fact I believe it is my own inhibitions - the wide gap between my thoughts and my actions (and/or what is expected of me from societal pressures) - that leads me to fantasies like these.

So, no, not at all slutty, just sexually repressed, naturally submissive (good girl) and perhaps I do objectify myself, believing my value is wrapped up in my physical attractiveness (easily bruised ego, as BTN said). I am very sensitive when it comes to my looks, more than anything else really. I am not so unusual, I don't think, as Hollywood glamourizes sexiness and women are under more scrutiny than men in this regard and more often their value is measured by their sexiness than anything else. Soooo, what better way to prove that I still got it then to be raped, or at least desired for rape? But yeah, if you plan to rape me - be nice about it, k?

[pervipete]

My personal take on sluts.

Firstly I don't think all the woman on here are sluts, there are a lot that have these fantasies, whether they act on them or not, while in a loving, caring relationship, and that goes for all sexual fantasies. There are those that act out with strangers, or away from their partner, well, they are just looking for something, and I think it would be wrong and insulting to judge without knowing their story.

Secondary, I know of a few women, some of board, who are self confessed sluts.

All these are doing are what alot of men are doing, what I would be doing if I had the chance, sleeping with as men people as possible. At the risk of looking PC, it is a little hypocritical to call a man who has a lot of sexual partners a stud, but a woman a slut or whore.

We are all who we are, good, bad, nice guy, bastard, good girl, bad girl. Nobody on this site is better than anyone else.

[Tanya]

There is a difference between just having the fantasies, enjoying them in a loving relationship, and just going out and letting a guy "abuse" you.

I met quite a few men on the inernet a few years ago to "rape" me, i knew i wouldnt enjoy it, i didn't, I let them do what they wanted to me and I didn't enjoy any of them. I know this is because I didn't respect myself and I have very low self esteem....This post is sorta all over the place coz there are people walkinga round behind me lol

[Seventeen]

Nothing wrong with having numerous partners....as long as you are responsible and safe about it. It is the word 'slut' that I take exception to.