I need serious help (A very long rant)

[cryptic]

Sorry to drag this thread back up, but I only just noticed it.

First of all, kudos to you for your honesty, AWDracer (did I spell that right?)

And to everyone else who responded - thank Christ for intelligence.
I've been to many places - online and in real life - where the sentiments AWDracer expressed would have been met with unthinking, uninhibited name-calling.
He may have been given all sorts of labels which, after reading carefully, it's pretty clear he doesn't deserve.

And dude - like a lot of people have said, it really does go both ways.
Right now, I despise most men.
Hate 'em hate 'em hate 'em.
My heart was broken once and I have not fully trusted a male since.
As for "nice guys finish last?"
Much as it pains me to admit it, you do have a point.

While I may not be a gold-digger and am certainly not shallow about which guys I find attractive, I am rarely (okay, never) attracted to the classic "throws-his-coat-in-the-mud-so-the-woman-doesn't-have-to-ruin-her-dainty-little-shoes" type of guy.
Perhaps because such a man comes across as one hell of a pushover?
Why ruin a perfectly good coat just to avert a very minor inconvenience for a woman who didn't even ask for such unnecessary chivalry?
I would be a little disgusted with any guy (or girl) who displayed such behaviour, wondering where on earth his self-respect had gotten to. I would also be a little offended that the man assumed I was the sort of woman who would appreciate such coddling.
The self-respecting man keeps his coat on, and the self-respecting woman has enough good sense to simply walk around the mud puddle.

If she tromps right through it, ruins her shoes and gets mad at you for not being a gentleman, she's either an idiot or she's manipulating you.
If you throw your coat in the mud, assuming the woman will get mad at you if you don't, she will see you as a pushover.
It may well be that you aren't, and that you are just trying to be extremely nice.
But I doubt it will look that way to the woman.
If she is a decent human being, such an over-zealous gesture would probably make her uncomfortable.
As for the "gold-digging" type of girl (financially or emotionally), little gestures like that will bring them running towards you from miles away.
You may be trying to be nice, but many emotionally immature sorts will see you as a very easy target.
Trust me.
I spent the last twenty-four years of my life being a "throw-my-coat-in-the-mud" type, and it brings all the crazies out of the woodwork.
I still need to take my own advice most days, come to think of it.

And while I would lose respect for any man who ruined his coat just for an unwanted gesture, I would grow to hate a man who went out of his way to push me into that mud puddle, for no reason at all.

Given, I'd probably be quite fascinated by him at first.
That's because I often mistake a bullying attitude for genuine confidence. It's also because I'm masochistic and pretty fucked up in the head, and honestly, probably not mature enough to settle in with a decent human being just yet.

Being falsely nice, you attract false, shallow people.
Being a jerk, you will get a girl who genuinely adores you.

Temporarily.

Invariably, though, this girl will gradually develop a deep sense of loathing and resentment towards you.
She may stay with you for a long time, but deep down, she will not like you.
That setup might work just fine for a sociopath (or perhaps not), but it's pretty obvious that you're a guy with a conscience. And I don't think you would like being hated that deeply.

Eventually, all the girls worth having grow out of their bad-boy-loving phases, and seek somebody with a little more substance.

You appear to have that substance naturally.
Tempting as it might be when you see the assholes around you with girls trailing after you...don't throw that away.
You've got something those guys will never have, and as the crowd you hang around with becomes more mature, the smart girls will start to see it in you.

A friend once drunkenly told me, "It's not fair. Nice guys always finish last."
And I drunkenly told him back, "Yeah, but they do finish, and they also get the last laugh."

Having said all that, though...it is fun to "try on different hats" when it comes to personality, especially when you're young.
Try on the asshole persona for a while, if it will prevent you from spending the rest of your life wondering what you're supposedly missing out on.

I'm willing to bet you'll discover a few little victories, followed by more pain and self-loathing than you'd thought possible.
And believe me, you deserve better.

Be the nice guy, but be the nice guy with a backbone, and by all means, show off that wee sadistic streak that your presence at this board implies.
Those three things are a rare combination. You'll intrigue many.

[Lucy.]

Edited. I didn't realise how old this thread is. And my comments are not important.

[dashrendar44]

mmmmm, stale drama...*drools*

/homer simpson

[Lucy.]

I didn't realise how old the post is, someone bumped it.

I hate sexist drivel though, and thats what this is. Too many people live in little boxes where they are perfect and everyone around them is wrong.

[cryptic]

Originally Posted by Lucy.

I didn't realise how old the post is, someone bumped it.

Sorry, my bad.

Originally Posted by Lucy.

Too many people live in little boxes where they are perfect and everyone around them is wrong.

Who said that?
You're wrong! Get out of my box!