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Old 01-25-2008, 04:25 PM   #141
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Tanya, I don't dislike you. In fact I want to get to know you better, that's why I added you on yahoo. We should talk more

Soulless

You are not alone in questioning why things are the way they are. We have the same questions and are looking for the same answers, we even have the same name, hehe! Anyway, I have been searching for the answer for a long time. I don't think anyone truly knows why they have a rape fantasy. Sure you can say all the theories you want or say it was because of some event, but deep down there doesn't seem to be a real clear cut answer. I hope that helps you
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:04 PM   #142
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1-16-07 (This thread)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sternenlied View Post
I don't care much for this thread
1-16-08 (Best Thread Nominations)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sternenlied
"The Real Rape Thread"

Not much in use these days (fortunately) but important as ever!

What changed your mind Stern?
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Old 01-26-2008, 01:42 AM   #143
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LOL, how the hell can you have a memory like that Rogue to remember things like who posted what where and then go and find the posts she made?

Its beyond me
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Old 01-26-2008, 02:22 AM   #144
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Originally Posted by soulless View Post
I'm not sure what I expected from this site. I was determined not to judge anyone on here and I was pleasantly surprised by both the forum rules and the way it is moderated.

But I am confused. I don't deny being aroused by roleplay and the concept of fantasy rape. I believe the biggest sexual organ we all possess is our brain and often the thought of the scenario is the real stimulus.

But threads like this cause some conflict for me. Nothing wrong with the thread, it has been handled sensitively and I understand people's needs to talk about real rape experience and their desire to speak out to help others. I just wonder how Jasmine and Tanya and the other women on here must feel about the 'roleplay' sections where people get aroused acting out a story similar to an incident which to them was traumatic.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the distinction. I even understand how some women on here may find some solace in sex that has been 'moulded' should we say by other experiences in their life. I mean as long as they are happy, I guess that is all that should matter.

Bottom line I just wonder if this is a conducive environment for a woman who has been raped. I feel concerned that she should feel that sex should be "that way" just because of something beyond her control that happened.

I don't know if I am getting through here. I'm not criticizing the site, nor anyone on it. I feel the concern here. I guess I was surprised or even shocked to find real victims on a site that I assumed dealt only in fantasy and I am struggling to understand why some women find comfort on here amongst stories and scenarios which although not necessarily disrespectful, nevertheless depict as erotic, scenarios which those women must clearly find difficult or painful, having been through what they have.

I would really like it if any of the women on here could explain it to me. It doesn't need to be on the open forum, but I thought maybe given how supportive everyone has been in this thread that this might be a good forum to use. I would be open to PMs if you prefer.

Paul.

i've been told by psychologists that it's quite common for women to re-enact their trauma.
Partly it's a form of closure.
Partly it's a way to regain a sense of control, when control was once taken away.
It's a sort of "return to the scene of the crime", in order to understand it better, kind of deal.
At least, that's the way it is for me sometimes.
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Old 01-26-2008, 04:47 AM   #145
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue
What changed your mind Stern?
Other members that chose to post in here as well to tell their story (although your quote isn't my complete post if I remember correctly).
Also it is not the complete thread since we lost the original one.
I was - and still am - convinced many female members on this board (as well as many other boards) are impostors, making up stories to attract attention, attract men or simply make themselves feel special. That is assuming they're actually female at all ...
So at first I saw this threat as nothing more than another great opportunity for those people to make an appearance for themselves. And since being raped is a very sensitive subject I rejected the idea.
I talked to some people around here about their experiences and when I saw them post their stories, also other members I consider to be honest I started having a different opinion about this thread (still for those members only however).
That is - by the way - some of the things Tanya is referring to. Back in those days she felt I was accusing her of being a liar. As you can see by the timeline Rogue posted this was about a year ago and now Tanye is once again having one of her seizures. So I consider this to be her problem, not mine.

In essence I felt that a threat like this on a forum like ours was too important to be abused by phoneys - which was exactly what was happening however. Thus I didn't care much for the thread.
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Old 01-26-2008, 11:49 PM   #146
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Soulless you asked how I felt about the role play section. I love it. While it may sound strange, it helps. During a role play, I have control over what happens. I talk to my partners, they know my limits. Granted, I have some residual issues about what happened to me.

Thinking that someone gets off on reading my story was something that I had to wrestle with when I was asked to post my story. I tried to weigh the possible good it could do someone to know they weren't alone in what happened to them against the possibility that someone would enjoy it. I finally decided that if someone got off on this thread that it was their problem.

The members here gave me nothing but support. I was expecting pm's from wacko's wanting more details, but that didn't happen. This is a group of wonderful people who care about one another.

If someone makes up a "real" rape story, it's sad and it would anger me, but that person has emotionally issues and needs to seek professional help.

I encourage anyone who has been raped, molested and/or abused in any form to get professional help. You are not alone and it gives you perspective.
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Old 01-27-2008, 09:04 PM   #147
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Thanks for explaining Stern, I understand where you're coming from.

Clan, I remembered because at the time I was close with Huni, the author of this thread, and she sent me her story before posting it here, so I have a good memory of that particular time, and what Stern said is naturally going to stick out. When I saw her nominating it for an award, I raised an eyebrow!
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:43 PM   #148
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You're very welcome, Rogue.
Yes, it took me some time - as well as the stories of some members I value - to convince me this thread actually could be what I felt it had to be!
Now it is and now it is under my personal protection!
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Old 02-01-2008, 03:36 AM   #149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine View Post
Soulless you asked how I felt about the role play section. I love it. While it may sound strange, it helps. During a role play, I have control over what happens. I talk to my partners, they know my limits. Granted, I have some residual issues about what happened to me.

Thinking that someone gets off on reading my story was something that I had to wrestle with when I was asked to post my story.

If someone makes up a "real" rape story, it's sad and it would anger me, but that person has emotionally issues and needs to seek professional help.
Jasmine,

Thanks for replying. You seem to be a very level headed individual and I was hoping to hear from you. I can appreciate the 'closure' issue and I can see how replaying a scenario when you have control is a way to 'overwrite' the bad memories caused by a scenario and replace them with good or at least 'arousing' ones.

I still have a problem with it I guess because I still think it shouldn't be necessary for any woman to have to do that and because it just feels that even though a roleplay might help her deal with her past, someone is still taking advantage of her unique situation for his own pleasure.

You are right that there is a big distinction between getting off on a fantasy and getting off on someone's real life traumatic experiences. I just feel from reading through the scenarios that some (like the Dungeons and Dragons, Mythical, Fantasy type scenes) are clearly fictitious, others seem to come very close to real life assaults and rapes. I just felt that it must be hard for a woman (especially one who has been raped or attacked) to see someone write a story (and get off on it!) when the content is similar to a real life traumatic experience.

I'm probably opening a can of worms here. Clearly an assault that includes serious physical injury like breaking bones is beyond the realms of roleplay. That in itself is enough to distinguish the events that Jasmine suffered from fantasy rape scenarios. But what about stories that stop short of this but still involve a woman being raped, defiled, humiliated and abused both physically and verbally.

If a woman were to put that story in the roleplay section and get comments like: "Great story, it makes my cock ache!", "What's your MSN, I want to play this out with you?", "Last night I got off on your story, waiting for the next instalment!" How would we feel if she subsequently said: "That really happened to me last year!" And how would that change her perspective of the men that replied to her saying the story aroused them.

It's a complicated issue I know. We are individuals all of us with our own sexual preferences and what is normal to some is boring to others etc etc etc so maybe I/we are searching for answers that don't exist. I would love to participate in a role play thread with Jasmine having read through her previous posts, I am just conscious of offending her now having made the discovery of her real world experience.
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Old 02-01-2008, 05:48 AM   #150
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Quote:
I still have a problem with it I guess because I still think it shouldn't be necessary for any woman to have to do that and because it just feels that even though a roleplay might help her deal with her past, someone is still taking advantage of her unique situation for his own pleasure.
I can understand this notion but I think you should give raped women (at least some of them) more credit. Taking control of a dreadful situation - not necessarily a rape - through a role-play for example is a way of dealing, of "disarming" the memories and their terror (also nightmares) but it doesn't mean women who do it should still be victimised. They don't have to do it.
It is a strange thought indeed - assuming others might get a hard-on and sexual pleasure from a real rape story. But I don't think it should be considered taking advantage of the woman who experienced a rape since it is still her choice to begin with if she posts the story or nor.
And quite franky every one who comes here knows exactly what this board is about. So if I decide to make the story of my rape public knowledge, if I put up a story, a role-play, whatever we all know very well what other members might get out of it.
I am not saying you're wrong I'm just saying many raped women aren't as fragile as most people might assume.

Quote:
I would love to participate in a role play thread with Jasmine having read through her previous posts, I am just conscious of offending her now having made the discovery of her real world experience.
I understand - and even like - that attitude. However I'd like to repeat what I said before: Most raped women aren't as fragile as some people might think. They know exactly what is fine with them as what's over the edge. So if a woman who has been raped choses to do a role-play she'll make sure to keep it within her limits.
You should also be aware there are women on this board (also in the outside world) who have been raped without letting you know. So there's always the danger of offending or hurting someone without even knowing it.
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Old 02-01-2008, 09:50 PM   #151
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You should also be aware there are women on this board (also in the outside world) who have been raped without letting you know. So there's always the danger of offending or hurting someone without even knowing it.
Very valid point!
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:31 PM   #152
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Well, but someone who is offended or hurt by discussion of rape fantasies or role play would not come to a website called "Rape Board. Message board for people who wish to roleplay and discuss rape fantasies."

The owners of this site. very appropriately, did not hide the board's purpose; nobody will be ambushed by the theme of the discussion here. Adults make their own choices, and we have to assume everyone here (at least legally) an adult.

As I've stated before, I was a rape victim. Frank discussion helps my healing, and roleplay that I can control sends the bogeyman back to the closet where he belongs. Everyone has to exorcise their demons in their own way, of course, and there are those who I'm sure would be offended by the discussion here. They should exercise their right to vote with with their feet. The internet is a big place, and there's something for everyone.
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Old 02-02-2008, 05:25 AM   #153
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Very very right Sierra! You seem to be really reasonable, i'm glad you've joined the board.

On the other hand, some members (mainly girls) may want to play but the ball is to hot for them to touch. Its so easy to say the wrong thing during an rp, you cant know everybody's past. Its not your fault if you hurt someone without knowing, but it still is an unpleasant situation.
So, some pming with "does" and "donts" will help i guess, we are a rape board but some tact and understanding will damage nobody.
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Old 02-02-2008, 05:51 PM   #154
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Very very right Sierra! You seem to be really reasonable, i'm glad you've joined the board.

Why thank you, ego!! That's so nice of you to say.

Quote:
On the other hand, some members (mainly girls) may want to play but the ball is to hot for them to touch. Its so easy to say the wrong thing during an rp, you cant know everybody's past. Its not your fault if you hurt someone without knowing, but it still is an unpleasant situation.
Private role play is a different issue entirely. I have to admit that I haven't gone there yet either online or IRL. I've played bondage and submission games, yes, but not replaying a rape. Fantasies are one thing and an enormous turnon for me, but replaying an actual rape would be dicey. I'm not sure how I'd react. I think I would have to have absolute trust in the "rapist", and there aren't many people I would trust that far.
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Old 02-02-2008, 06:03 PM   #155
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Quote:
Fantasies are one thing and an enormous turnon for me, but replaying an actual rape would be dicey. I'm not sure how I'd react. I think I would have to have absolute trust in the "rapist", and there aren't many people I would trust that far.
I advice caution. A roleplay "enacting" a real experience will definitely have a great effect on you.
It might have a positive effect and help any rape victim deal with whatever she/he has gone through. BUT - as you already stated - it requires no less than a hundred percent of absolute trust between the two of you!
If this amount of trust is not present or - for whatever reason - the roleplay goes wrong - in whatever way - it might actually inflict a lot of pain and maybe even trauma.
So please ... tread lightly!
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Old 02-02-2008, 06:10 PM   #156
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Thanks, Sternenlied. You're absolutely right, and that's pretty much the conclusion I've come to. For right now, I'm sticking with rape fantasies. If all the stars align and *exactly* the right situation comes up, I might reconsider. Or maybe not.
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Old 02-02-2008, 06:14 PM   #157
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You're very welcome.
I'm only trying to watch out for my girls here.
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Old 02-02-2008, 06:54 PM   #158
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I'm honored and proud to be considered one of your girls.

I keep telling these misguided men that women aren't always catfighting, but I don't think they believe me. It scares them too much when they think of us banding together.
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Old 02-04-2008, 06:41 AM   #159
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I keep telling these misguided men that women aren't always catfighting, but I don't think they believe me.
Dont use Stern as an example for common women. She's a woman with balls.
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Old 02-04-2008, 07:25 AM   #160
Tanya
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Rape roleplay can be fine for real rape survivors if they are doing it for the right reasons. The first time i did it with a guy i met online i really liked it and had fun. I was pretty lucky though because i didn't really know him....Then the next few times i just wanted to hurt myself, so they weren't so good....

Oh, and the reason i got shitty the other week is because I wrote out stuff that happened this last year, and no one replied, even said that they read it. It was completely ignored. Thats why i felt like everyone thought i was a liar. I didn't want sympathy, i don't know what i wanted. Or maybe people just read it thinking yes iw as a complete dumbass. I know it was an unwise thing to do...
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Last edited by Tanya; 02-04-2008 at 07:27 AM.
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