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Old 10-28-2010, 01:27 AM   #1
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Default the post play crash

so today I have been revisited for the second time in my life by the "post play depression" fairy. Its a new concept for me in that I thought this drop shortly after all the adrenaline and endorphins wear off applied to D/s play not with rape play. But according to other face to facers (I posted a thread on a rape group), this is not an uncommon thing to have few days after the intense rape/abduction scenario: crying, unmotivated, depressed, weak... especially if the lack of control was intense or absolute, lengthy and you dont have a close relationship with the attacker.
so now instead of super high I am a crying mess! My mans out of town.. trying to work and has me weeping on the other end of the line.. lol poor man. The attacker is just not accessible to me and Id never drop this on him anyway, and last time I had another rapist playmate that helped me out of it, this time I have no such luxury.

I started to wonder about my sanity... and the viability of playing this way i Im going to end up this miserable! Its only happened twice, my first abduction and this time the first "real" feeling with no safeword complete stranger scenario. theres not really any way of changing how I approach it to avoid this in future without compromising the excitement.
anyone else into playing for real that has suffered this drop or has had to comfort a playpartner dropping? How did you manage it? ANy shortcuts to feeling good again would be greatly appreciated!

Last edited by gaggirl; 10-28-2010 at 01:29 AM.
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:48 AM   #2
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Absolutely. When I was doing some fairly intense bondage/discipline playing a few years ago I would regularly experience just exactly what you describe. I agree that it has to do with loss of control. It is recognized in that community (called "subdrop") and the domme I was playing with would always make sure I was ok.

There are no shortcuts except to have someone physically around who is willing to take all the crap you'll likely dish out. I've run the entire gamut from tears to violence.

The important thing is to take care of yourself. You can seriously mess up your psyche if you don't and find yourself fearful, depressed or angry for weeks. Find someone who understands and go to him/her or have them come to you.
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:05 AM   #3
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ohhh each time I hear about this I feel more relief. *grateful* thank you Sierra. Your post helped

I dont usually get this but if I keep playing this new way I had better learn to manage it. I beat myself up like nothing else today but since reading others experiences it has lessened the upset somewhat. Wow this feeling can go on for weeks??

Next time I have either my husband or the playmate or another paramour around day two afterwards I think it would have made all the difference today.
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:19 AM   #4
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Nope, never played like that before, and I could see there being a need to comfort them afterwords if I did. I wouldn't want them to think or feel like what just happened was real, even though it would seem that way.

Before I give my thoughts on shortcuts, I want to express my feelings on what this looks like.

Its like a drug. People who do drugs, do it for the transitory feeling and the ego gratification, and don't care about the after effects, until the after effects come. Then they turn around, and do the same thing again, and expect a different result or don't care about the consequences. That is the definition of insanity, not that there is anything wrong with being a little insane.

I have a few ideas, that might help you out in your situation. I'll post this one for starters.

When a person goes through a traumatic experience, they become tense. Then tenseness, does more then just tighten the muscles, it forms emotional blocks. The most straight forward way to combat this tenseness and emotional stress that goes with it, is through relaxation. Below is a process that I've used from time to time when things get rough.

Stage By Stage Relaxation


Start by cutting of all distractions. Television, music, et cetera. Find a comfortable place, and lay down.

Now focus on your breathing. The in, the out.

Then move your attention to your toes. As you breath in, imagine a cool, blue relaxing energy, going into your toes. As you breath out, in your mind say "let go," and imagine the the blue light taking all the stress out of your toes. Do this three to five times.

Now move your attention to your feet. Breath in, imagining the same cool, blue relaxing energy, going into your feet. As you breath out, say "let go", and let the energy take all the stress away. Repeat three to five times.

Move your attention to your calves. Breath in, and imagine the relaxing energy go through your toes, through your feet, to your calves. Now, breath out saying in your mind "let go" and release all the stress and tension. Repeat three to five times.

Now, move your attention to your thighs. Breath in, imagining the relaxing energy move up through your feet, and up your legs to your thighs. As you breath out, in your mind say "let go" and feel everything drain away. Repeat three to five times.

Move your attention to your fingers. Breath in, imagining the cool relaxing energy going into your fingers. When you breath out, say "let go" in your mind, imagining the blue light taking away all the stresses of the world. Repeat three to five times.

Now turn your attention, to your hands. Breath in, feeling the cool relaxing energy go into your hand. When you breath out, in your mind say "let go" and feel everything get light and feel transparent. Repeat three to five times.

Move your attention to your forearms. Breath in, allowing the energy to move through your fingers and hands to your forearms. As you breath out, in your mind say "let go" and feel all the tension drain away from your body. Repeat three to five times.

Now move your attention to your upper arm. Breath in, letting the relaxing energy fill your arm. Breath out, saying "let go" and feel everything start to get better. Repeat three to five times.

Now move your attention to your pelvis. Breath in, feeling the cool energy enter your body. As you breath out say in your mind "let go" and feel all the negative energy and feelings leave your body. Repeat this three to five times.

Move your attention to your stomach. Breath in, feeling the cool and relaxing energy fill your entire midsection, front to back. As you breath out, say "let go" in your mind and feel all the stresses of the day exit your body. Repeat three to five times.

Move your attention to the solar plexus region. Breath in, feeling the cool energy fill your body. Breath out, saying "let go" and feel all the tension leave your body. Repeat three to five times.

Now you move your attention to the upper section of your body. Breath in, feeling the relaxing, cool blue energy fill you up and put you at ease. Your whole body should feel light, and completely transparent at this point. As you breath out, saying "let go" let go of all the stress and tension in your life. Repeat three to five times.

Move your attention to your neck. Breath in, letting the energy fill your neck. Feel everything better. Breath out saying "let go" and feel all your stress leave as the energy exits your body. Repeat three to five times.

Now move your attention to your face. Breath in, allowing the relaxing energy to fill your face. Breath out saying "let go" in your mind, and let all the tension leave with it. Repeat three to five times.

Finally, move your attention to your forehead(third eye) and breath in. As you breath in, imagine your whole body being filled with the cool blue relaxing energy. As you breath out, feel all the negativity, tension, and stress leave. Repeat this as many times as you want.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This relaxation meditation, can be done at night before you go to sleep, or when you wake up. It can also be in the middle of the day, though I have an alternative that you can use in the middle of the day which is quicker, and gets almost the same results, especially if you do the above practice.

If you fall asleep while doing this, don't worry. Also you can when you reach your third eye, continue to do it, till you fall asleep. Don't try to control your mind, or "think." Just observe.

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Alternatives to the full method

You can use white light, instead of blue light. Either is good. Blue is the color of relaxation, and white, has the essence of all colors in it, so it works just as good.

You can instead of saying "let go" you can use "relax." If you use the word "relax" it will be like you are telling that part of the body to relax as you breath out. "Let go" is more directing the tension in that part of the body to free it self from you.

The other thing that can be done differently is you can work your way from your toes all the way up the body, till you reach your neck, then do your fingers hands and arms, and then return to your neck and continue upwards. I prefer to do the limbs first, then the body. Guess it's personally preference. I suggest using the method as described, but am putting this here to make sure you have ever option available.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Short method of relaxation

I would not suggest using this unless you have done the full method.

With this version, you don't have to be laying down. You can do it sitting, or even standing. Also, you don't have to be alone or in a quiet environment.

Start by bringing your attention to your breath. The in, and out.

Now tighten every muscle in your body at the same time, and picture the cooling energy entering your entire body. Now stop tensing your muscles and breath out saying "let go" in your mind and feel all the stress and tension leave with it. One time should be good enough, but repeat a few times if need be.

The more you do the full practice, the better this middle of the day short practice works.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope this helps you. If you need more, let me know, cause there is something that can be added to the full version, which can have some really profound effects. Just let me know, and I'll fill you in, in private.

Hope you feel better. xoxoxoxo
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Old 10-29-2010, 01:20 AM   #5
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I wish I had something helpful to say. I have never heard of this.
I've roleplayed a few times but I admit I'm lame about it. I say "Oops I'm sorry" If my partner shouts in what seems like actual pain or anything.

I hope you find a way to cope. This sounds awful.
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Old 10-30-2010, 02:02 PM   #6
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Hunny I am not a doctor or anything, just a old grouch who's been around the block a few times. Anytime you want to talk, PM or email me feel free, we could do MSN or Skype (Skype is great, free long distance).

Let me know and I'll give you my info.

*Big Huggz*
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Old 10-31-2010, 05:58 PM   #7
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its okay now thanks for your concern guys Now I am just hungry for it all over again. What an amazing roller coaster ride!

Learn a little something each day and for me, its to make sure that Im not alone the second day after the fact. love to all!
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Old 10-31-2010, 06:02 PM   #8
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Right back at'cha.
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Old 02-13-2011, 03:27 AM   #9
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What Sierra said. It's common enough with hardcore BDSM and real life role playing that there's a term for it. It happens because tons and tons of endorphins are rushing through your system, which cause a high. A really good scene can leave you on a high for a while. The longer and deeper the high, the bigger the crash. Most of us who play like this develop relationships with our subs or doms in order to be there when the crash happens for either of us, because it happens to doms as well. The trouble you're experiencing is your fetish needs an anonymous person you can't call later because you don't want a relationship. You want a faceless predator.

All I can suggest is having a support system around for when the crash happens.
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