Balls - and how they hang. - Rape Board

batffink · 08-03-2010, 06:58 AM

More years ago than I care to remember, I went to John Collier's, the tailors, and got measured for my first 'made to measure' suit.
While the assistant ran his tape over me, the manager at one stage said to me, "And what side does Sir dress?"
For a frantic moment I tried to work out what he was talking about as his pencil hovered over his notebook and - right at the very last minute - realised that he was asking in which trouser leg did I like my wedding tackle to hang.
Embarassed, I muttered 'left' and breathed a sigh of relief.
I just thought I'd ask the male population of RB whether they are 'left' or 'right. Or maybe 'centre'

ps. Girls can join in if they are so inclined.

pps. I was quite proud that he thought my tackle would make a difference in the measurements.

BTN · 08-03-2010, 07:20 AM

I dress to the left myself. Right handed men tend to....think about it

Lil-Mac · 08-03-2010, 03:18 PM

Though I have never really thought about it mine tend to hang on the left side as well. I wonder if thats why I always tend to drift to the left when walking.

batffink · 08-03-2010, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lil-Mac

Though I have never really thought about it mine tend to hang on the left side as well. I wonder if thats why I always tend to drift to the left when walking.

You wish, you old boaster. lol.

snarkopo · 08-04-2010, 12:19 AM

It think it's that vein running down. It comes from the left side and doesn't like to be stretched very much. We all hang to the left I suspect.

pervipete · 08-04-2010, 12:22 AM

Left for me as well...though if PF, LilLinzi or Karen wants to meet me and check I will, reluctantly allow it...

perfectlyformed · 08-04-2010, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pervipete

Left for me as well...though if PF, LilLinzi or Karen wants to meet me and check I will, reluctantly allow it...

*slides her hand into petes pants to check*

*rummages around*

*finds something*

Yes....to the left

x

pervipete · 08-04-2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by perfectlyformed

*slides her hand into petes pants to check*

*rummages around*

*finds something*

Yes....to the left

x

Rummages around in PF's bra, finds two good things, yep there real...though I had better check again...and again and again...

batffink · 08-05-2010, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by perfectlyformed

*slides her hand into petes pants to check*

*rummages around*

*finds something*

Yes....to the left

x

Brought me all out in a cold sweat that did!

perfectlyformed · 08-05-2010, 06:09 PM

Petes balls were sweaty too.....
*licks hand while looking innocent*

x

FuckingRotter · 08-10-2010, 09:00 PM

I'll finish the story shall I?

Several months later, the poor apprentice McBatfink was walking down Edinburgh High Street, and as he approached the tailors he took care to cross the road. Remembering he had ordered a suit he couldn't afford, hoping to avoid the tailor. This had been going on for several months.

Not realising that this was the week when the better heeled residents of Scotlands first city went on their holidays, thus leaving the tailors with more time on their hands for the bitchy gossiping and gazing out of windows longily at the kilted men walking by, McBatfink little suspected he was in peril of being spotted.

If only he had known, in an effort to preserve the contents of his wallet, a habit for which Scotsmen are renowned the world over, I feel sure our young anti-hero would've taken a three street detour to avoid the tailor.

Just as the apprentice was about to turn the corner he heard an effeminate voice cry out "Hoy! Donald! Here's your trousers!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by batffink

More years ago than I care to remember, I went to John Collier's, the tailors, and got measured for my first 'made to measure' suit.
While the assistant ran his tape over me, the manager at one stage said to me, "And what side does Sir dress?"
For a frantic moment I tried to work out what he was talking about as his pencil hovered over his notebook and - right at the very last minute - realised that he was asking in which trouser leg did I like my wedding tackle to hang.
Embarassed, I muttered 'left' and breathed a sigh of relief.
I just thought I'd ask the male population of RB whether they are 'left' or 'right. Or maybe 'centre'

ps. Girls can join in if they are so inclined.

pps. I was quite proud that he thought my tackle would make a difference in the measurements.

perfectlyformed · 08-11-2010, 02:42 AM

Somebody was up late drinking

x

Lil-Mac · 08-11-2010, 09:44 AM

That would be me

FuckingRotter · 08-11-2010, 09:46 AM

He didn't. He spotted the tweezers and magnifying glass in your sporran, and wanted to know which side of your trousers to put the special pocket....

Quote:

Originally Posted by batffink

pps. I was quite proud that he thought my tackle would make a difference in the measurements.

batffink · 08-11-2010, 01:07 PM

Trust you to get it wrong again, you refugee from a builder's yard.

It wasn't Edinburgh - it was Inverness.

FuckingRotter · 08-11-2010, 08:45 PM

Bollocks was it Inverness! Even I know Inverness closes on a Wednesday afternoon, and that's the only time an apprentice would get time off!

batffink · 08-12-2010, 02:29 AM

All right, I admit it wasn't Inverness - it was Dumfries. What are you, a fucking policeman or something?

TheOneSolo · 10-22-2010, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTN

I dress to the left myself. Right handed men tend to....think about it

I dress to the left as well, though I'm not sure it's my handiness. I do write with my right hand, though technically I'm left handed. I fight in a south paw stance, and jerk off with my left hand.

If anyone is curious as to how that happened, my mother told me when she was teaching me to write, that I kept using my left hand, however, she was right handed, and found it easier to show me that way.

08-03-2010, 06:58 AM	#1
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	Balls - and how they hang. More years ago than I care to remember, I went to John Collier's, the tailors, and got measured for my first 'made to measure' suit. While the assistant ran his tape over me, the manager at one stage said to me, "And what side does Sir dress?" For a frantic moment I tried to work out what he was talking about as his pencil hovered over his notebook and - right at the very last minute - realised that he was asking in which trouser leg did I like my wedding tackle to hang. Embarassed, I muttered 'left' and breathed a sigh of relief. I just thought I'd ask the male population of RB whether they are 'left' or 'right. Or maybe 'centre' ps. Girls can join in if they are so inclined. pps. I was quite proud that he thought my tackle would make a difference in the measurements. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-03-2010, 07:20 AM	#2
BTN Admiral Adama Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Galactica CIC Posts: 1,018 Reputation: 45123	I dress to the left myself. Right handed men tend to....think about it __________________ So say we all

08-03-2010, 03:18 PM	#3
Lil-Mac The Resthome Rapist Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Eastern USA Posts: 1,739 Reputation: 79308	Though I have never really thought about it mine tend to hang on the left side as well. I wonder if thats why I always tend to drift to the left when walking. __________________ --------------------------------------------------- *Love is raping the same girl twice.*

08-04-2010, 12:19 AM	#5
snarkopo It's been fun Join Date: May 2008 Location: away Posts: 1,549 Reputation: 70796	It think it's that vein running down. It comes from the left side and doesn't like to be stretched very much. We all hang to the left I suspect. __________________ I have a brontosaurus and you don't. So there.

08-04-2010, 12:22 AM	#6
pervipete Watching from the shadows Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The Shadowlands... Posts: 5,170 Reputation: 118528	Left for me as well...though if PF, LilLinzi or Karen wants to meet me and check I will, reluctantly allow it... __________________ Tonight love, we'll do a rape roleplay No!! That's the spirit... Spam Reporting Thread The Hazelton Chronicles Blackmailing the MILF's Chapter One The Rape Board Chronicles - LilLinzi in the Alley Consquences

08-05-2010, 06:09 PM	#10
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	Petes balls were sweaty too..... licks hand while looking innocent x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

08-11-2010, 02:42 AM	#12
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	Somebody was up late drinking x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

08-11-2010, 09:44 AM	#13
Lil-Mac The Resthome Rapist Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Eastern USA Posts: 1,739 Reputation: 79308	That would be me __________________ --------------------------------------------------- *Love is raping the same girl twice.*

08-11-2010, 01:07 PM	#15
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	Trust you to get it wrong again, you refugee from a builder's yard. It wasn't Edinburgh - it was Inverness. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-11-2010, 08:45 PM	#16
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Bollocks was it Inverness! Even I know Inverness closes on a Wednesday afternoon, and that's the only time an apprentice would get time off! __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

08-12-2010, 02:29 AM	#17
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	All right, I admit it wasn't Inverness - it was Dumfries. What are you, a fucking policeman or something? __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

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