Just for laughs!! - Page 9 - Rape Board

04-27-2007, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiz

Some women just have no sense of humour

Touche S.O.F.

ego · 04-27-2007, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sindyloo

HUH EGO??? can READ it no problem sitting in front of monitor!!

You are such a hot girl i never doubt about this my pretty Sindy!

Hellcat · 04-28-2007, 04:26 AM

That Paris Hilton is such a vapid trollop and has been caught screwing... yet again!

my dark side · 04-28-2007, 04:47 AM

Hee Hee Hee

Very good Hell, took me a while to get at first ( yet again, damn am i slow at getting some of these things on here

)

Hellcat · 04-28-2007, 05:55 AM

It seems that the government.. in their finite wisdom

have taken it upon themselves to place more warning labels on your favourite tipple....

Alcohol Warning Labels
1. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

2. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.

5. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

6. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your ex is really dying for you to call them at 4:00 in the morning.

7. Consumption of alcohol may cause serious rug burns on the forehead and chin area.

8. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really big guy named Bubba.

9. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

10. Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to disappear.

11. Consumption of alcohol may result in pregnancy.

12. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.

Louise · 04-28-2007, 11:16 AM

The truth at last...

Louise · 04-28-2007, 11:19 AM

Well, I usually have a younger retinue...but...open wide ashtray...

Louise · 04-28-2007, 02:46 PM

You have undoubtedly seen these before...

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, EU STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

sindyloo · 04-28-2007, 11:37 PM

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

my dark side · 04-29-2007, 05:18 AM

I was told never to play with my food but i just cant resist

pic00153[1].JPG

my dark side · 04-29-2007, 05:36 AM

http://rapidshare.com/files/28509233...terfunny5t.wmv

Hope this words for you all, its a crack up

Louise · 04-30-2007, 11:12 AM

Theres that word again...

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 06:12 AM

Danger of having sex in the dark..

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 06:25 AM

:d :d

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 07:13 AM

For all those Ebay whores out there... some handy advice!!

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 07:21 AM

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 07:48 AM

Aint that the truth

Three men walking through the woods get lost and find themselves at a raging river.
As night begins to fall the men turn to prayer.

1st man: Dear God, please help me to cross this river.
*Poof*
A rubber raft appears and the man paddles and fights his way across taking five hours.

2nd man: Dear God, please help me to quickly cross this river.
*Poof*
A wooden boat appears and he rows across to the other side of the river taking three hours.

3rd man: Dear God, please give me the presence of mind, the courage and ability to make it across the river.
*Poof*
The man changes into a woman, she reads the map, and walks over the bridge.

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 08:35 AM

Comeback line of the year!

A University teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or
a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,

shakes her head, and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Wiz · 05-01-2007, 10:16 AM

The four stages of life:

Hellcat · 05-01-2007, 10:22 AM

Im sitting here trying vainly to complete an assignment that i have to get in for Thursday... and bloody Microsoft Word!!!

04-28-2007, 05:55 AM	#165
Hellcat At Rest Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,808 Reputation: 1841	It seems that the government.. in their finite wisdom have taken it upon themselves to place more warning labels on your favourite tipple.... Alcohol Warning Labels 1. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 2. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you. 4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you. 4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you. 5. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 6. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your ex is really dying for you to call them at 4:00 in the morning. 7. Consumption of alcohol may cause serious rug burns on the forehead and chin area. 8. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really big guy named Bubba. 9. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. 10. Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to disappear. 11. Consumption of alcohol may result in pregnancy. 12. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants. __________________ â€œIf you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friendâ€

04-28-2007, 11:16 AM	#166
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	The truth at last... Last edited by Louise; 07-03-2007 at 03:31 PM.

04-28-2007, 11:19 AM	#167
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	Well, I usually have a younger retinue...but...open wide ashtray... Last edited by Louise; 07-03-2007 at 03:31 PM.

04-28-2007, 11:37 PM	#169
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! __________________ Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper!

04-30-2007, 11:12 AM	#172
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	Theres that word again... Last edited by Louise; 07-03-2007 at 03:31 PM.

04-28-2007, 04:47 AM	#164
my dark side Banned Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Away from here Posts: 2,038 Reputation: 1051	Hee Hee Hee Very good Hell, took me a while to get at first ( yet again, damn am i slow at getting some of these things on here )

04-28-2007, 02:46 PM	#168
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	You have undoubtedly seen these before... Political Science for Dummies DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, EU STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.

04-29-2007, 05:18 AM	#170
my dark side Banned Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Away from here Posts: 2,038 Reputation: 1051	I was told never to play with my food but i just cant resist pic00153[1].JPG

04-29-2007, 05:36 AM	#171
my dark side Banned Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Away from here Posts: 2,038 Reputation: 1051	http://rapidshare.com/files/28509233...terfunny5t.wmv Hope this words for you all, its a crack up

05-01-2007, 07:48 AM	#177
Hellcat At Rest Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,808 Reputation: 1841	Aint that the truth Three men walking through the woods get lost and find themselves at a raging river. As night begins to fall the men turn to prayer. 1st man: Dear God, please help me to cross this river. Poof A rubber raft appears and the man paddles and fights his way across taking five hours. 2nd man: Dear God, please help me to quickly cross this river. Poof A wooden boat appears and he rows across to the other side of the river taking three hours. 3rd man: Dear God, please give me the presence of mind, the courage and ability to make it across the river. Poof The man changes into a woman, she reads the map, and walks over the bridge. __________________ â€œIf you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friendâ€

05-01-2007, 08:35 AM	#178
Hellcat At Rest Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,808 Reputation: 1841	Comeback line of the year! A University teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever! A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." __________________ â€œIf you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friendâ€

05-01-2007, 10:16 AM	#179
Wiz if ever a Wiz there was! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Great White North eh. Posts: 1,854 Reputation: 23553	The four stages of life: __________________ If you find that life is a short, meaningless journey filled with emptiness and pain, just get all the pussy you can. Last edited by Wiz; 12-05-2007 at 04:45 PM.