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04-26-2007, 02:12 PM | #141 |
At Rest
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,808
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Ooooh Poke Sindy x
Thanks for the advice there huni... with my exams coming up in 2 weeks time... i may just give that a try
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-26-2007, 02:22 PM | #142 |
At Rest
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Hostages
A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head violently, at which the man got up and left the room. The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and hissed, "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn't seen a woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!" "Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I'm so relieved you feel that way. He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom."
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-26-2007, 02:27 PM | #143 |
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deleted
Last edited by innocent; 09-11-2007 at 06:15 PM. |
04-26-2007, 04:12 PM | #144 |
At Rest
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Thanks...
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-26-2007, 04:32 PM | #145 | |
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I'm sorry but this should be illegal! |
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04-26-2007, 04:35 PM | #146 | |
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Is this the reading between the lines class? |
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04-26-2007, 04:37 PM | #147 | |
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And his reaction was |
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04-26-2007, 04:47 PM | #148 | |
At Rest
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Quote:
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
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04-26-2007, 04:51 PM | #149 | |
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No truer words were ever spoken feline from hell! |
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04-26-2007, 04:55 PM | #150 |
At Rest
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Duct tape is just so damn versatile
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-26-2007, 05:06 PM | #151 |
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Looks Like A Sumo Wrestler.
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04-26-2007, 05:56 PM | #152 |
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GOD YES!!! Thank you DUCT TAPE!! Or uhh Butt crack censors which ever it is!!???
Well here are some really bad jokes cause I am fucking bored! Its either tell these or play with myself sooo...... What do you call a Busload of politicans at the bottom of a Lake!??? A damn good start! What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?? You can unscrew the light Bulb! How many shrinks does it take to change a light Bulb?? Only one! But the Bulb must really be willing to Change!! What does the Star Ship Enterprise and Toliet Paper have in common?? They both Circle Ur....Anus and wipe out Kling......Ons!! AHHH...the hell with this going to play with myself!!
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! |
04-26-2007, 06:51 PM | #153 | |
if ever a Wiz there was!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Great White North eh.
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Quote:
--------------------------------------------------- New Wine for Seniors California vintners, in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as...PINO MORE I Heard it through the grapevine. --------------------------------------------------- Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer! Last edited by Wiz; 04-26-2007 at 07:42 PM. |
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04-26-2007, 09:35 PM | #154 |
if ever a Wiz there was!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Great White North eh.
Posts: 1,854
Reputation: 23553 |
Some women just have no sense of humour
Last edited by Wiz; 12-05-2007 at 04:45 PM. |
04-27-2007, 01:10 PM | #155 |
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Wasn`t ME??!!
Honest it wasnt!.......Well is a way to meet cute Firemen!!
After all guys need a more obvious clue that a Gal is in need!
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! Last edited by sindyloo; 05-18-2007 at 04:35 PM. |
04-27-2007, 02:16 PM | #156 |
At Rest
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,808
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Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time." "If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times."
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-27-2007, 03:01 PM | #157 |
the obscure
Join Date: Nov 2006
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To see this, go three steps back.
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..lure them all into the abyss! Last edited by ego; 06-01-2007 at 04:59 PM. |
04-27-2007, 04:22 PM | #158 |
At Rest
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priceless
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-27-2007, 04:36 PM | #159 |
At Rest
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__________________
“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†|
04-27-2007, 05:03 PM | #160 |
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Funny Stuff....THANKS!!
HUH EGO??? can READ it no problem sitting in front of monitor!!
Hellcat so damn funny loved it! Sooo which was your work on the guy??
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! |
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