'I was raped' hhhmmm really?

[GOATBOY]

I realised today that I have met several women in my life that have said that they were raped, but then hearing the whole story you notice that it is quite far from the truth.

One from years ago said she was raped by her driving instructor, when basically they were getting it on and he went to have sex with fuck her. She was not sure if she wanted to, so she just lay there without stating any objection and let him fuck her.

Another claimed to have been raped on 7 different times and later on went to india where she was nearly gang raped. It's wrong for me judge, but I'm gonna any way, I just need to know if after 7 rapes she should take a good look at how she keeps making herself vunerable all the time.

and of course there is annabel chong who went to have sex with some stranger, who she just met on the train, in an alleyway. Then didn't say no to his friend afterwards, and the guy that was just walking past. Till eventually she had a line building up.

Then one girl accused me of trying to rape her when we just spent a night of heavy petting. then she kept saying she wanted to have sex then changing her mind minutes after. Needless to say this got me furious. And then in the next morning she said she hated me and wanted to call the police.

What is up with this crazy women with all these 'almost rapes' that like to entertain the idea that they actually were?

[Lucy.]

Alcohol. Pretty much always in England its alcohol. One of my closest friends took a man to court for raping her, and it got thrown out for the reasons :

- She hit on him at the club
- She invited him to her house
- She stripped them both
- She kissed him
- She started to have sex with him.

But she changed her mind in the middle of it. While I was 100% on her side, I can see why it was thrown out. It is technically rape the moment that she said no, but factor in that the man has also been drinking and when you are actually having intercourse then people say "yes, no, whatever" its obviously blurred.

The booze/club culture in England (possibly the world) is out of hand. I could get dressed up tonight, get drunk, sleep with a man I wouldn't sleep with if I saw him standing next to me right now while sober, get pregnant, regret it and take him to court for rape. It happens all the time.

[pervipete]

And they are trying to change the law in the UK so that man has to prove his innocence, so any men in Britain, be careful, don't fuck a drunk woman, even if she is begging for it.

[Sierra]

Let me just tell you how angry it makes me.

Webster defines rape as: "unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent."

Criminal code goes into even more detail but essentially says the same thing.

If the person is of legal age, conscious, and capable enough to give consent, rape involves either force or threat of harm to the victim or to others.

Changing your mind after a night of drunken sex is not rape. Letting yourself be talked into having sex with someone is not rape. Suddenly realizing you might be pregnant is not rape. Every woman who makes a false claim for rape makes it harder for the women who come behind her who really ARE raped.

[Lucy.]

Definetly, very much so. I had to support my friend who is a good friend because she genuinely honestly in her terms of the word felt that she had been raped. But you hear about it all too much these days.

Personally I think its rape until you have taken your clothes off. If you are just kissing, petting and the man forces the girl to be naked and to have sex, that in my opinion is rape. If the girl takes her clothes off, starts having some form of sex and then decides to back out, this is borderline. Obviously its rape if for instance the woman is just performing an act and the man forces another act upon her, but it still raises the question "what were you doing naked with him?". No means no, but once something has started it gets harder to stop, and you shouldn't put yourself in this position unless you intend to follow through.

Once you have taken your clothes off, you've consented, at least to some form of sexual activity. Girls in general take their clothes off too easily these days to guys they just met that evening. We've all done it, but its dangerous.

[RavishAGirl]

Originally Posted by Lucy.

Once you have taken your clothes off, you've consented, at least to some form of sexual activity.

I'd have to agree that is pretty borderline, though. Suppose a woman is naked and has consenting sex, but he forces himself on her ass, also? She never consented to that.

Or, they are having sex and he starts to beat her or scare her...

Bottom line is if she says no (and they aren't roleplaying), it should be over. Period.

I agree with Sierra in horror about the much later Oh-I-regret-it-I'll-decide-I-was-forced-so-I-don't-feel-guilty bit, though.

//Ravish

[Lucy.]

As i said, its rape in that case

Obviously its rape if for instance the woman is just performing an act and the man forces another act upon her

But i think you have to wonder why she would let herself get naked with a man she didn't know well enough to know he wasn't going to do this to her.

My point is too many girls put themselves in bad positions where they say "i've been raped" but they haven't really. They have in a context, but not in the innocent girl attacked by maniac while walking down the street for sugar. A man taking advantage of a woman who is already having sexual relations with him is not the same crime in my eyes as a random sexual attack. Still bad though of course, but we have a responsibility to know and trust our partners before putting ourselves in this vunerable position.

[pervipete]

To qoute myself from another thread

Give your number, not yourself.

[RavishAGirl]

Originally Posted by Lucy.

We have a responsibility to know and trust our partners before putting ourselves in this vunerable position.

Definitely agree with that. But at the same time that will never make her guilty. If she said no and he didn't listen, he's the one that made the choice to abuse another human being.

//Ravish

[Lucy.]

Originally Posted by RavishAGirl

Definitely agree with that. But at the same time that will never make her guilty. If she said no and he didn't listen, he's the one that made the choice to abuse another human being.

//Ravish

Yes, your right. What I'm trying to say isn't coming out right.

Many of these cases in England are girls who willingly consent, get into it, change their minds in the middle of it, and sometimes its just too late or they don't really convey that they want it to stop well enough.

As I said previously, alcohol is the big decider in many of these cases. The give your number not yourself is a good general rule for meeting men at a club, but alcohol tends to remove a little bit of common sense, especially the cocktails.

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by Sierra

Let me just tell you how angry it makes me.

Webster defines rape as: "unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent."

Criminal code goes into even more detail but essentially says the same thing.

If the person is of legal age, conscious, and capable enough to give consent, rape involves either force or threat of harm to the victim or to others.

Changing your mind after a night of drunken sex is not rape. Letting yourself be talked into having sex with someone is not rape. Suddenly realizing you might be pregnant is not rape. Every woman who makes a false claim for rape makes it harder for the women who come behind her who really ARE raped.

As usual great post Sierra....

I have had drunken sex with a few women and "No/stop" are still the same.
I don't care what a women does,flirt/kiss/get naked,when she says stop you stop.There is no leading on.You can't be to drunk or turned on as a guy not to understand what she is saying.You have to act like a man.

[FuckingRotter]

If I remember right the proposed law change involves competence to consent. If the woman is drunk then under the proposed law she would be able to claim after the event that she was too drunk to give consent. So yes Pete you're right, don't shag a drunk woman!

Originally Posted by pervipete

And they are trying to change the law in the UK so that man has to prove his innocence, so any men in Britain, be careful, don't fuck a drunk woman, even if she is begging for it.

[dashrendar44]

thats such bullshit. whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? thats a reverse onus and stands against everything the british (and by proxy, many many other former colonies) legal systems stand for. having a reverse onus is hard for the defendant to prove, which generally results in an unfair trial, again, a cornerstone of the modern judicial system. fucking wankers in britishland with your silly words and your goofy wigs fucking up the system you worked for hundreds of years to improve >.>

[fival]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

I have had drunken sex with a few women and "No/stop" are still the same.
I don't care what a women does,flirt/kiss/get naked,when she says stop you stop.There is no leading on.You can't be to drunk or turned on as a guy not to understand what she is saying.You have to act like a man.

i agree and im in the same boat man,

now my friend got accused and the girl was simply trying to black mail him and well i went ahead and got my camcorder(i had been filming the night of the party idk why but i was drunk and had my camera) an low and behold i had vid of her pulling him into the back room 'n' shit like that all night and of my game winning shot in beer pong lol.

well i put it on my comp and sent it to her on myspace with a big FUCK YOU an that was it she called and started the im srrys

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by fival

i agree and im in the same boat man,

now i had my friend accused and the girl was simply trying to black mail him and well i went ahead and got my camcorder(i had been filming the night of the party idk why but i was drunk and had my camera) an low and behold i had vid of her pulling him into the back room 'n' shit like that all night and of my game winning shot in beer pong lol.

well i put it on my comp and sent it to her on myspace with a big FUCK YOU an that was it she called and started the im srrys

God she's stupid. That vid would never have held up in court.

[fival]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

God she's stupid. That vid would never have held up in court.

hahaha true but everyones statments that would say she was the sober DD would =]]

[ChiTownHoney]

True, testimonies are a bitch slap

[fival]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

True, testimonies are a bitch slap

it sure is =]],


like a week after it was all settled we realy did find out she was stone sober the whole night and she was a DD for a bunch of people lol my buddy was so fuckin mad over the whole thing that it was iceing on the cake i found it just plain funny hahaha

[Sternenlied]

A man taking advantage of a woman who is already having sexual relations with him is not the same crime in my eyes as a random sexual attack. Still bad though of course, but we have a responsibility to know and trust our partners before putting ourselves in this vunerable position.

That's why domestic rape (by husband for example) was so hard to prove and prosecute for such a long time ...

Don't get me wrong - I agree with your notion - but rape by someone close happens often as well. It's hard to draw the line and decide what decision to stop during "sexual activity" (kissing, petting, ... ?) is valid and which one isn't.

[pervipete]

Originally Posted by dashrendar44

thats such bullshit. whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? thats a reverse onus and stands against everything the british (and by proxy, many many other former colonies) legal systems stand for. having a reverse onus is hard for the defendant to prove, which generally results in an unfair trial, again, a cornerstone of the modern judicial system. fucking wankers in britishland with your silly words and your goofy wigs fucking up the system you worked for hundreds of years to improve >.>

It's because that the conviction rate for rape is low, basically because it's her word against his.

The new law sounds fine in theory, but how can we have confidence in the system. Yes, too many guilty men are going free, but is completely changing the basis of the criminal justice system the way. And if not, what could be done?

And then, on a thread hijack, once we are used to the idea of guilty until proven innocent, what will be the next crime to come under this code. We already have a country where it is possible to lock people up for 40 days without trial, something that even some senior ploice officers are against. Remember internmant in Northern Ireland, that worked.

Back to thread.

Women do need to protect themselves, but of course to say so out loud means that you assumed to think that no means maybe.

Rant over, all calm now.