"Forced sex by a husband or boyfriend is rape"

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[gal4]

In many countries sexual assault by a husband on his wife is not considered to be a crime: a wife is expected to submit. It is thus very difficult in practice for a woman to prove that sexual assault has occurred unless she can demonstrate serious injury.

This is stupid, "serious injury", huh? When she is dead?
Your honor, I came back from the grave to testify to the fact that my husband strangled me to death while we were having sex.

Objection, your honor, the dead cannot testify in this courtroom, I move that the statement be stricken fromt the record.

Being married leads to some kind of understanding. With my current workload, there are times when I am not in the mood for play. ...And likewise for my husband. So when do we have sex? Usually, at some agreed upon time later in the week. And if not possible, then, do at least a little fun, a nibble, and we go on with our lives.

Being married does not mean like you are a slave. And I have had enough of that slave krap. Being forever in bondage, force to have sex regardless, period or no period, and thrown away like a used rag when done.

I have no idea how the legal statuates apply in the marriage situation.

Like some of the people in other forums have stated, willingness does not imply rape. Yeah, I guess. There were times, when I sold myself for sex which included rape fantasy, but I did this for money, and prostitution is still illegal, and what I contracted for is definitely more illegal.
But when a wife and husband go into a rape fantasy in their marriage, and sooner or later, the wife changes her mind, does all their previous actions become rape?s I mean where is the proof?

In my case, if I come home from a long night, and I am tired, and my hubbie grabs me, and starts ripping my clothes off, slaps me around, and forces himself into me, and I don't like it, then maybe I can call this rape, but most of the time, I like this kind of krap, so, I probably won't.
But this has all to do with consideration. If a man cannot be considerate with the woman he has chosen to be his life mate, and does not know when and where is a good time to proceed, then he obviously does not know much.
And she needs to leave him.
So much for this.

[Throatdagger]

A marriage is a partnership. One should be considerate of their partner restrictions as well as their desires. Let me ask a reverse question. If a husband forces the wife when she is too tired, not in the mood or whatever; does the wife wanting to have sex when the husband is too tired, busy, not in the mood, is that a reason for the wife to have sex outside of the marriage? The partner should consider the other's feelings sometime at their own expense.

As far as a boyfriend goes; if he is forcing the situation I would think that is a red flag that things are only going to get worse.

Gal, I think there is a difference between spouse abuse and rape. A spouse may have the crao beaten out of them and it has nothing at all to do with sex.

i think that a husband or a bf can rape someone. but i think if the husband beats his wife badly anough, THEN its considered rape. i dont understand how poeple think husbands raping their spouse sounds ridiculous when it happens all the time. and boyfriends raping their date/serious gf happens all the time, too-"date rape". i think its sick. but that might just be me....

[joey]

Ideally the powerful should not victimize the weak in any form of human endeavor. It is not possible to defend seriously the actions of someone who brutalizes a partner. That being said, I see little similarity between a knock down, vicious assault leaving a woman beaten, bloodied, raped/sodomized, and broken (whether by stranger or husband/boyfriend/acquaintance) and a sexual encounter between a wife/girlfriend and husband/boyfriend that amounts to not a lot more than "I wasn't really in the mood but he wouldnt't listen when I said no and he fucked me.
Shoot people who do the former (maybe that's why the fantasy of rape is so strong - the taboo, and as far as the later go - pack it up and head out if it's that bad.

[MarcEdeSade]

In my relationships, I always gague the person I'm dealing with and the nature of our level of power exchange. Most of the time, taking it when I want it will be met with, at the most, an "i'm mad with you" for an hour or two.

At the same time, If they can manage to grab me by the nuts, they get it whether I want it or not in most relationships. It's happened and I just roll my eyes and let 'em. Ho-hum. No foul.

Rape of a married partner should be grounds for immediate and prejudiced divorce, but I don't see where it should be viewed even one tenth as bad as other rapes. Marriage DOES imply consent to some sexual liberties.

[Rheostatic]

Originally Posted by MarcEdeSade

Rape of a married partner should be grounds for immediate and prejudiced divorce, but I don't see where it should be viewed even one tenth as bad as other rapes. Marriage DOES imply consent to some sexual liberties.

I would disagree. Sexual intimacy is a staple of marriage, but there still needs to be concent as to when it will occur. If the husband is not satisfied with the level of consentual sex, HE needs to file for divorce.

[Grm]

Originally Posted by Tanya

[Removed at the instance of site's owner]

discuss

I refer you to this thread
http://www.rapeboard.com/showthread.php?t=832

[Rahl]

A husband raping his wife is disturbing for many reasons. Firstly, she should submit, tired or not. The reason being, if she still has fresh love for him, she wouldn't refuse; she'd want to make him happy and be intimate with the man she loves.

A worthwhile relationship should never get to the point of true rape. If he has to force her, one should leave the other. If the relationship has deteriorated to the point where heart felt intimacy is reduced to forced copulation, it should have been over long ago. Some women cannot leave their husbands for safety concerns, children to consider, etc. but without these circumstances, don't try to save it, just get out and you'll find someone who will make you happy again.

[gal4]

If left to myself, probably would have never married. But got forced into this one out of family obligations.
What do I get out of this, nothing that I could see up to this point.
What does he get out of it? My young pussy.

Oh, yeah, you say, with that kind of attitude, I am off to a great start.
Yeah, I can imagine Rapeboard as a marriage counselor.

"First, you need to rape your wife more often."

When you have a troubled relationship, you need to find some time, and some place nice and quiet. And think a little at a time over incidents, try to think how you two got into this situation. Be objective.
If you see your spouse as getting unreasonable, overtly emotional, getting loud, then, buddy, things are not going to get better.

Oh, yeah, your spouse can get therapy, and maybe things will get better, but all this costs money and if got none to spare, forget it, drop it, and go, go , go.

There will be disagreements, life is not perfect, but if all you do is argue, argue, and argue, the only thing I can say is you must love arguments.

I looked at my folks, married a long time, there was a lot of give and take, and they raised four girls, any of which would have broken a regular mom and dad. Thank you, mom and dad, for putting up with me.

Now, rape involves the use of force. Now, IMHO, any time, this begins to be used in a marriage, it is about over.

Say, that one month, I go on a spending spree, and over spend. My husband tells me to quit it, or we cannot pay the rent, pay for groceries, or take care of the kids. And if I openly defy him, and continue this spending binge, who is at fault? Obviously, I do not care about my family, so is it mine?
First effective thing my hubbie would do in this case is to demand my credit cards. If I refuse to give it to him, then he can call the company and have it canceled, and he would proceed to find another place to live.
Since I am not listening to him, why should he continue to support me?

I have seen one of sisters, so hung up on this man, put up with mental and physical abuse, bail him out of jail, always promise to do better, but never did, and after five years of this, finally find the courage to walk out on him.
Did he rape her? More than likely, but she tried her best to save the marriage.

Yeah, it is a partnership, like you say, but both has to meet each other half way.

[kinkyone]

Forced sex is rape, although once a husband is determined and starts up, the wife probably seeing how horny he is will relent at some point of time and resigne, but if that non-concent leeds to voilance then it is rape. Marriage does not gives one licence to over ride the freedom of another.

[gal4]

Man comes home from a hard day's work,

...and gets this, "Oh, not today, honey, got a headache."

Over and over. So one day the inevitable happens. He loses his marbles, he goes ga ga, nuts, see following link

rapidshare.de/files/23669930/room.avi.html

Yeah, once upon a time, a man rapes his wife, and they live happily ever after,
the end.

...This has been a FilmWays Presentation, Darling.

yeah i understand them getting tired of hearing "not tonight" all the time, but a woman shouldnt have to submit to it if she IS tired or not in the mood. and if hes sick enough to rape her, hes not a man. and if hes THAT horny, if worse comes to worse- for goodness sake, just beat off!

[gal4]

Originally Posted by virginfantasy

yeah i understand them getting tired of hearing "not tonight" all the time, but a woman shouldnt have to submit to it if she IS tired or not in the mood. and if hes sick enough to rape her, hes not a man. and if hes THAT horny, if worse comes to worse- for goodness sake, just beat off!

Well, one night lately, I came home, I was tired, and I know my hubbie is being nice and stuff, but enough is enough, I grabbed a book and threw it at him.
He ducked, we laughed, and that was it.

I went to sleep on the sofa that night, and in the morning, he brought me breakfast, and kissed me and well, why the hell not, we did.

This is the way it should be.

Yeah, the adventures of Ozzie and Harried in Wonderland.

This is a very touchy subject .. first i would like to say ,, i deplore real rape , and violent rape ,, and if a girl says NO it really does mean NO ... and you leave her alone .

Sexual intercourse is rape with consent or rape without it ..

Much of this is down to many areas of sex and law ... first answer the question ,, is it rape when a boyfriend or husband uses violence and rapes his girlfriend or wife ,,, YES ,, it is rape and no woman should accept this ..

Females ,, a woman is complicated in her mind , no girl would ever want or look for rape from any stranger . .... with a partner however , deep down in her subconcious mind there is her dark side that says she would like to be forced by her partner ,, because she has built a trust with him and would like to know what it is like to be raped by her lover ..

lets go back a bit ,, in victorian times , and in some cases it is the same now ,, when a woman allowed herself to be kissed , it was her submitting to a male ,, when she marries , she is again submitting herself in another way with her giving herself sexually to her husband ,, under victorian law , a husband has the right to have sex with her even if she says no ,, as it is a husbands rights in a marriage to fuck his wife .. she has already given consent by saying i do in marriage ,, if you choose to live with a male partner ,, again it is a form of marriage and you are giving him the right to fuck your body as it is a form of submission ... i am not talking about each of our points of view , ourselves , but law as it stands ..

To pick another scene ,, if a girl goes out wearing a skin tight top with no bra , and a short skirt ,, she will say she is only wearing clothes to let herself look good when she is in town or work or out at a disco .. to attract a mate , she will make it clear she is not looking for rape ,, but the effects on us poor guys are ,, well stiffening ,, to the point it is bulging at the flys trying to get out .. .. i dont mind a girl wearing this ,, girls are lovely wearing anything ,, or nothing ... but there are girls who deliberatley go out wearing this to deliberately provoke a situation where they will also bend over and show their crotch ,,wearing no panties ,, for the reason of being raped ,, i would like a girls point of view on this ,, no girl wants rape ,, but if they do go out of their way to provoke a situation like this , do they deserve it ? .

SO back to the question ,, is it rape ,, yes and no ,, if a partner has sex with your reproductive organ ,, it is no as you have submitted into the relationship ,,
if he beats the crap out of you to the point of death and rapes you then it is RAPE ,, he should be locked up and the key melted so he cant get out again ... And girls ,, any man who beats you to pulp for sex ,, in my book is no man at all ... he is scum ,, and you would be better off without him ..

My personal view is that a real man does not have to use any violence to fuck his partner ,, he should be able to whoo his girl into submission and she would allow him to use her .. if it is real Rape ,,, when violence is used ,, It is RAPE... no matter what the excuse .

I would not mind meeting girls for a play rape scene ,, if it is consenual by both partners ..