How real can rape role get ?

[Ryno]

I have wondered what the limits are in rape role play . What's the limit ? Is there a limit ? X

[nadi]

The limits are only what are set by the participants. And it can get real enough, to the point where you aren't even sure if it was just role play or if it turned to an actual rape.

I could give examples. But for now i'll just pick one. I chatted to this guy online for a while and had it well established that i was very into rape play - and so was he. We talked in detail about what gets us off. We didn't explicitly agree on a scene. Instead, when he asked to meet for play i turned him down - then, made a point of saying where i was going to be that day, and when. I mentioned what i'd be wearing and the car i drove. And i left the rest to him.

Sure enough, he took the bait, and shortly after arriving home and leaving the door unlocked, i heard it open. He dragged me by my hair to the bedroom and tied my hands behind my back. I struggled, but not enough for him to doubt that i had wanted him to do exactly this. But then after i was tied and blindfolded, he put something in front of my face and ordered me to inhale it. I don't do drugs. I hadn't discussed drugs. And i had no idea at all what he was trying to give me. I said no and tried to avoid it, but he clamped his hand over my mouth and held it under my nose until i was forced to breath it in.

I was really scared. At that point, it was no longer what i'd signed up for and it changed the whole thing. I wasn't in control, and i felt a strong awareness that this guy was a stranger and could do anything at all with me. It turned out, that all he'd had me inhale was nitrous oxide. It made me feel disconnected, disoriented and kind of numb while he used me as his fucktoy for however long it was. He made me inhale it several more times and i could barely struggle at all for most of it.

And afterwards, when he'd left - i played with myself til i came fucking hard. I still fantasise about that experience and it makes me hot. I'd wanted him to role play rape me, but not like that - and he did it anyway. So is that role play or rape?

[justmetoo]

Originally Posted by nadi

So is that role play or rape?

We run a fine line on this board. Many of us IRL have had experiences that we share that depending on the point of view either are role play or rape. While I've not gotten as close to the line as you have it does bring up what is really a matter of perspective. Just like a post I made a while ago about what constitutes a gang bang. One person thought 3 was a good number while others mentioned 20 guys.

Which is right and which is wrong? Who knows. It gets really blurred for role play though. In your case I see the guys point of view but more importantly yours. I don't have an answer as to what crosses the line. I think it comes down to each of us and what our expectations are.

I've known several gals that I've brought up the idea of light bondage - hands tied behind their back or to the headboard. They both considered that rape. Others here on the board have shared experiences that for many people would constitute real rape. Where do you draw the line?

In my mind it comes down to this: If you feel you were raped than that is what it was. If not, it was role play and you got a bit more than expected.

[Ryno]

That's the thing , I fantasise about rape about rape role play and have done for a while . I have never been able to experiance yet either , only time I did find somethat wanted to do it she gave me a cold shoulder and backed out (the same as you suggested before but giving me details of where she was) but I was unsure if that part of the game/ role play for me to take the bait or not ! I decided not to take the risk just incase .

I would want the role play to be as "real" as possible and get rough but would want details sorted beforehand .

And much as the roleplay is counted as dangourus yet exciting . You both should know how the role play is going to playout so you should always feel safe - that's how I understand it anyway ( but I'm new to this )

[lowkey]

Originally Posted by Ryno

And much as the roleplay is counted as dangerous yet exciting . You both should know how the role play is going to playout so you should always feel safe - that's how I understand it anyway ( but I'm new to this )

More or less spot on, Ryno.

My experiences have been evenly divided between ladies who were merely excited by the fantasy and being controlled and those who wanted to feel afraid, who were excited by having their boundaries pushed.

With the latter, beyond some form of mutual agreement to engage in such a fantasy, nothing was truly discussed or arranged. They'd no idea what I had in store for them, no say at all on what would be done, and often not even a safe word. Without the ritualized formality, I was free to rampage upon them with any dark desire that sprang to mind. Such fantasy play was wild, chaotic, and violent (upon which front I often seemed to come out the worse. As much as I manhandled and squeezed and spanked and choked, it always seemed me who was left bruised, scratched, and bitten. One even nearly broke my nose).

But even all of this was done with some unspoken understanding of it being what the woman wanted. I would never suddenly spring such things on a lady who had clearly defined what her comfort zone was or how she wanted the fantasy to play out. One wanted the sort of soft-rape you only see in romance novels, not so much forced as to be 'swept up' and I was just as happy to provide that.

What is most important is trying to know what your partner wants.

[Lil-Mac]

Originally Posted by nadi

The limits are only what are set by the participants. And it can get real enough, to the point where you aren't even sure if it was just role play or if it turned to an actual rape.

I could give examples. But for now i'll just pick one. I chatted to this guy online for a while and had it well established that i was very into rape play - and so was he. We talked in detail about what gets us off. We didn't explicitly agree on a scene. Instead, when he asked to meet for play i turned him down - then, made a point of saying where i was going to be that day, and when. I mentioned what i'd be wearing and the car i drove. And i left the rest to him.

Sure enough, he took the bait, and shortly after arriving home and leaving the door unlocked, i heard it open. He dragged me by my hair to the bedroom and tied my hands behind my back. I struggled, but not enough for him to doubt that i had wanted him to do exactly this. But then after i was tied and blindfolded, he put something in front of my face and ordered me to inhale it. I don't do drugs. I hadn't discussed drugs. And i had no idea at all what he was trying to give me. I said no and tried to avoid it, but he clamped his hand over my mouth and held it under my nose until i was forced to breath it in.

I was really scared. At that point, it was no longer what i'd signed up for and it changed the whole thing. I wasn't in control, and i felt a strong awareness that this guy was a stranger and could do anything at all with me. It turned out, that all he'd had me inhale was nitrous oxide. It made me feel disconnected, disoriented and kind of numb while he used me as his fucktoy for however long it was. He made me inhale it several more times and i could barely struggle at all for most of it.

And afterwards, when he'd left - i played with myself til i came fucking hard. I still fantasise about that experience and it makes me hot. I'd wanted him to role play rape me, but not like that - and he did it anyway. So is that role play or rape?

Hot story, damn you Aussie girls seem to have all the fun.

Getting serious for a moment there are risks to this type of play. For the girl they are obvious, she could be really hurt, even killed should she pick the wrong guy to play with. To me it seems a bit foolish for a girl to engage in this behavior without knowing that she can trust the guy not to do something foolish. A mistake like that could be the last mistake she ever makes.

Guys also accept a measure of risk. That being that the girl could change her mind partway through or even after and the guy ends up getting nailed for rape. Worse yet it could be a set up. I wouldnt put it past some really holier-than-thou crusader type to join a site like this and totally snooker some poor sod into a rapeplay only to have the cops on speeddial or some goons there to break his leggs.

In fact something similar just happened in Tampa (very near me) recently. A girl made arrangements to meet a guy over the internet for sex, the guys shows up, rather than finding who he expected two guys were waiting there to rob him. The intended vic was a pretty big guy and wasnt about to be robbed by two punks. A fight ensued and the Vic was shot. Some of you may have heard of this. The girl that set the thing up was famous in the States a few years ago for having a case of the hiccups that lasted months. SHe was on all the talk shows and came to be know as "The Hiccup Girl". So of course some of the local media dubbed this "The Hiccup Murder". The press... geez *rollseyes*

Anyway, risk can cut both ways so all involved need to protect themselves.

[TheOneSolo]

After reading through all the post on this thread it makes me wonder if it's even worth it.

Not sure if anyone saw the episode of the Dave Chappel Show where he did a skit about rape. He was getting ready to have sex with this chick, then pulled out a contract, and had her sign her so she couldn't later say it was rape/date rape.

Almost seems like something like that is needed when it comes to rape play. The idea of the female changing her mind, or the guy just getting to into it, and going to far, and then having the female get him arrested is scary. Going to jail for rape, is bad, especially if you really aren't a rapist. Do you know what they do to rapist in jail? They get their faces cut, they get beat up, and at times get a taste of their own medicine.

Personally I am all about pleasing woman. That is always my focus. When it comes to females on forums like these, then they want a certain thing, that I'm sure I can provide. Not that I've ever engaged in any rape play as of yet, however, I've always been good at anything I put my mind to. I would not want to play with safe words, for fear that the female would instinctively use it because I would be to convincing. Then again, I would want the female to feel safe. You can never really know what a person wants or what their limits are, even if they spell them out.

As Mac pointed out, there is always the possibility that what you are about to get into, is set up. Either it could be someone trying to make a real rape movie or snuff film or just trying to rob you or whatever.

Clearly this is a dangerous game, for men and woman. Lowkey pointed out what has happened to him while playing, basically getting various injuries while rape play, and Nadi also pointed out how things can go wrong when the guy wanted her to do drugs. Lucky it was something harmless and not heroine or something like that.

I'm not going to knock females who tell guys no I don't want to meet up with you and play, but this is what I'm wearing, and where I'll be et cetera. To me if it's not consensual non-consensual, then it's real rape. Some females may want it to feel as real as possible, and if they are prepared for the risk of STD's, getting brutally beaten, impregnated, forced to take drugs or killed then they can go that route, that being telling a guy they are not interested, then giving him all the info he needs to go and do it anyway. To me, that sounds criminal, and I wouldn't risk it. Without the confirmation, how would a person be able to distinguish if the female wants you to show up and rape her, or she was simply talking to much. There is no way to really know since there would never be an official confirmation. Sure most females who go about it that way, might expect the guy to show up and do his worst, but what happens when one out of ten woman wasn't really saying that. You can't tell the judge, the C.O.'s and the inmates that they last nine woman was okay with it, because no one is going to listen.

Finding the limits is very tricky. As much as a female may enjoy the idea of getting raped, most would not want to really get raped. It's all about control. The female wants to control the who what when where why and how of the encounter. That is what separates rape play from real rape.

In closing, its all case by case. Everyone is different. To some individuals, a person may do a series of things to a female, and the female may feel that the guy went to far, and feel like she was actually raped. Then the same guy, could do the same thing to another female, and the girl may think he didn't go far enough. I would suggest for the males and the females, to tread carefully.

[domguymd]

Thanks for starting this thread!

I have always had an interest in trying to make rape roleplay as real as it can get (without it actually being real rape). I love the thought of setting up a scenario with a woman in which we would set up a mutually agreed upon pre-arranged time and place. The time span could be a few days to a week (depending on each of your flexibility) and during that time she knows that she could be assaulted and raped. We would agree to limits ahead of time and there would be no safe words. She would show me her face (I obviously need to know what my victim looks like) but I would not show her mine.

I love the idea of being able to stalk her and watch her from a distance, knowing that she is anticipating it but doesn't know where it is coming from. Maybe I would get a friend involved as a decoy. Set up situations where she thinks "okay...this is it" but then nothing happens.

My immediate thoughts have always involved a three day weekend at a hotel. I could get the room ahead of time that way I would have a key as well. I could let myself in during the middle of the night or while she was in the shower. Or, I could wait for her to go out and then sneak in and pounce her upon her return.

Anyways...I realize that finding a woman brave enough to engage in this type of scenario will never happen (even on this board!) but still fun to think about.

[Lil-Mac]

I am glad you realize that this is never going to happen. It's a fantasy and needs to stay a fantasy. Any woman who would agree to what you are saying is probably either a pysco or an idiot. Either way she has a screw loose.

The scenario as you describe it is basicly Suicide by Rapist for the woman. Think of it as Russian Roulette. She may pull the trigger once and get away with, maybe even twice. Sooner or later tho the woman will end up with her throat cut dumped in the woods somewhere.

[TheOneSolo]

You never know though, some people go pretty far for what they want. I would give an example of something that is happening right now... then again, maybe I wont say anything... hehehe.

[domguymd]

Originally Posted by Lil-Mac

I am glad you realize that this is never going to happen. It's a fantasy and needs to stay a fantasy. Any woman who would agree to what you are saying is probably either a pysco or an idiot. Either way she has a screw loose.

The scenario as you describe it is basicly Suicide by Rapist for the woman. Think of it as Russian Roulette. She may pull the trigger once and get away with, maybe even twice. Sooner or later tho the woman will end up with her throat cut dumped in the woods somewhere.

While I agree that it is a bit out there and it is a huge risk for a woman, it could also be the most exhilarating experience for both of us. The bigger the risk the bigger the payoff right? Don't forget I would be taking a risk as well. Obviously a certain level of trust would have to be established prior to meeting. For whatever reason I have had this uncanny ability to meet interesting women through the internet (though not to do something like this). However, I'm sure the friends of these women would have said the same thing to them that you are saying now. However, we both took a chance and it paid off for both of us.

[TheOneSolo]

For the record, there are woman here who would be into that. Hell there are woman here who put themselves in situations where they can actually get raped, so why wouldn't they agree to your scenario.

I always try to be as objective as possible and not knock anyone for what they do or don't do. If it makes you happy, then that is all that really matters. We are all adults, and have free will, and can do as we please, and in the same token we all have to deal with the consequences of our actions, good bad or in between.

[nadi]

Originally Posted by domguymd

Thanks for starting this thread!

I have always had an interest in trying to make rape roleplay as real as it can get (without it actually being real rape). I love the thought of setting up a scenario with a woman in which we would set up a mutually agreed upon pre-arranged time and place. The time span could be a few days to a week (depending on each of your flexibility) and during that time she knows that she could be assaulted and raped. We would agree to limits ahead of time and there would be no safe words. She would show me her face (I obviously need to know what my victim looks like) but I would not show her mine.

I love the idea of being able to stalk her and watch her from a distance, knowing that she is anticipating it but doesn't know where it is coming from. Maybe I would get a friend involved as a decoy. Set up situations where she thinks "okay...this is it" but then nothing happens.

My immediate thoughts have always involved a three day weekend at a hotel. I could get the room ahead of time that way I would have a key as well. I could let myself in during the middle of the night or while she was in the shower. Or, I could wait for her to go out and then sneak in and pounce her upon her return.

Anyways...I realize that finding a woman brave enough to engage in this type of scenario will never happen (even on this board!) but still fun to think about.

Sounds perfect to me. But i am quite a bit more into the "edge" than most, i think....

[gaggirl]

I love the edge and am always looking for the right man to walk along it. Im a risk taker at heart though, always have been.

Sometimes I imagine that Id like to find a playmate that carries out his threats properly rather than just teasing theres a silent consent from me to the right person, whom I havent found yet.

Lately my roleplays have become realistic and are just what I have always lusted for, after spending over 10 years not knowing why the way I played wasnt quenching my thirst. the years of playing and meeting men and making friends and making mistakes and making successes have shown me what I want. I also have a husband to plan things for me so that Im to be left wondering "was that real or not" at least, thats the theory as he hasnt managed to create this for me yet I sniff it out too quick and I'm far too fussy with men.

I have recently played with a stranger never having seen his face from start to finish, with no safeword just hard limits. The scenario was realistic and set up so that there was none of that awkward chit chat, it was straight in as if he was a real rapist. Throughout the rape I kept thinking "this isnt going to stop no matter what I do or what I say!" and that made it so thrilling and intense.

It helped that he just happened to be freakishsly perfect at it. Id never been left after the rape before which left me dazed. for a month I kept looking at men that were around his height and skin colouring (freckly which I dont normally do!) wondering if they were him. I wonder if in real rape, the victim would be thinking along similar lines (but in a very different way- certainly not daydreaming and feeling excited and craving his touch)

It was also bareback which was new for me. there was a distinct mental and emotional effect the invasion of his bare cock and come had on me that sees me not wanting to ever go back to condom rape.

so thats the way I roll now. I dont play very much at all because I know how I want it now and nothing less will make me feel fullfilled, anything less would be just rough sex. The thin line. So hoping that Ill find someone special and clever who will take me over just a little bit every now and then

and by the way, the journey is WORTH IT!

[TheOneSolo]

You know gaggy, I would like to believe that I was clever enough, though no matter what I did, I'm sure you would see right through it.

My idea was to set something up, then at the last minute, tell you that my plane is delayed and that I can't make it when really I'm right outside (I would take an earlier flight).

Only problem with that, is I would have to black bag you, so you don't see my skin color, because you would probably catch on right away.

I would only go to that extent with you, because I know you, and know how you like it, which is so real, that in your mind it is real.

[gaggirl]

Now thats what i'm talking about! I would be all angry and shiz and then that would go down and wouldn't know what hit me. but would u really really do that kind of thing? Most men I know without exception probably, are much too law abiding and well behaved to take such a risk. I'm in their face and vicinity I guess. One day maybe he will pop up * sighs wistfully *

[TheOneSolo]

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't, it would be totally out of the question. I know most females would be to traumatized, and that is not my intention. In your case I would make it seem so real, that you would really think it went down, and no one would be able to tell you different.

Honestly, the whole trip with plane ticket, hotel room, rent a car etc, would only cost about $800 to $1000. That's not to bad for a vacation, I would do it.

[gaggirl]

Depends how long you stayed it's rather expensive to pay torape someone and turn around home - plus the time in the plane would make it less worthwhile I imagine. Accomm isn't too cheap here. Too bad you've already told me the plan haha!

[TheOneSolo]

Not to worry, I'm not a one trick pony.

[nadi]

Originally Posted by gaggirl

It helped that he just happened to be freakishsly perfect at it. Id never been left after the rape before which left me dazed. for a month I kept looking at men that were around his height and skin colouring (freckly which I dont normally do!) wondering if they were him. I wonder if in real rape, the victim would be thinking along similar lines (but in a very different way- certainly not daydreaming and feeling excited and craving his touch)

Mmmm that is awesome....
I remember I did something similar once, had someone over for some rough sex (not really a rape scene) and never saw his face. The best part was, he lived locally and a few days later messaged me to tell me he'd seen me at a local shop and was standing right next to me for a few minutes, with me having no idea it was the man who'd had his way with me. At first I thought that was too hot to be true, but he told me where I was, what I had been wearing, everything. It was so good to know he'd been there thinking about what he'd done with me, and I still had no idea who he was.