Namecalling question

[Rogue]

I've noticed a lot of posts here involve the victim being insulted with words like "slut" and "whore." Some guys would like to target a girl who is one, or he feels looks like one, while most of the girls describe themselves like this when telling us about themselves straight away, for example our new member, dirtywhoreslut. Grm questioned her self esteem, which I found interesting.

I think I understand it better with the girls. If they are here, they are getting raped in their fantasies, and enjoying it. No matter how many men or how much loss of control, they wish it to happen, and presumably don't feel ashamed, or at least not as much as they used to. As a result they feel like sluts and whores, which makes sense. Perhaps they are not like this at all in real life, and when they come to the board they go all out and have no problem being verbally humiliated aswell as physically. Or is it just to attract the role play rapist by being dirty, tell me if I'm wrong.

Which brings me to my question, why are guys here attracted to sluts and whores, or calling them these names during the rape, or forcing her to "admit" she is during the assault? Because personally I'm not. A favourite on these boards are the innocent virgins, it's really a contradiction, though I understand if it's merely degradation. If you remember discussing our celebrity favourites a few months back, a good few guys said Paris Hilton. A woman who is a dumb snob and making her sluttyness clear as day in a sex tape is the last celeb on my mind. Even just for anger, I hate her more than anyone, but I don't find her attractive at all. In real life I don't like the girls who try too hard, or who are easy to get; the opposite in fact. Women that I can't have. They are classy in terms of sexual activity and partners, they dress modestly, and when you look at her, you almost can't imagine a man like yourself having his way with her, ever. When I imagine raping her I don't attack her with those words, because I want her to stay that way. She's even still wearing those clothes when I fuck her sometimes, as if she's clinging onto her dignity. The more she feels this shouldn't be happening to her of all people the better. Don't get me wrong, I rape her relentlessly, hurt her, and humiliate her. Some untrue comments can be fun, such as claiming she teased me. I like to hear her say the word rape too, like forcing her to repeat "you're raping me." But the point is, I don't recall those words in any of my fantasies.

well, my new ex used to call me those names AFTER he would come over andn we had sex...

i was NOT happy to say the least


but if he would have done it WHILE we were having sex, i wouldve loved it

[checkerboard]

It's not big a deal for me one way or the other, but I guess with innocent virgins, it's about having the power to turn them into cocksluts, or the power to get them to say they are, when they're not.

As for slutty women, mmm. My wife's sex-drive has increased immensely over teh last few years - she was quite an innocent when we met - and one day she admitted she was a slut. Dunno why but that turned me on hugely.

[prey4me]

I find myself in great agreement with you, Rogue, on many points.

1) I am definitely attracted to the sweet virginal type. Paris Hilton is physically beautiful, but not very appealing to me, because there's not much point in raping a genuine whore: what's the difference? Give me an Alexis Bledel or Emma Watson or Haley Westenra any day!!

2) So why call her "slut" during a rape? Not because it's accurate, but because it's degrading: in her social mileiu, she is the last girl anybody would consider promiscuous, and in doing so I am (at least desiring to) reduce her to the lowest common denominator of female sexuality.

3) And yeah, I also like the idea of having her use the word "rape" and "fuck" a lot. I've always thought it would be neat to set up a story as follows: I (the rapist) set the story with the abduction, the assault, and a set of instructions: "You are going to tell me, in explicit detail, everything I do to you and and everything you feel me doing, while I am doing it!" And after a bit of role play, it comes off like this.

"I am in your arms, and can feel you squeezing me around my slender waist. Your right hand is moving down my hip, to my small round bottom, and you are cupping my left cheek, squeezing it, lifting it up. I can feel you pulling up my skirt with your left hand...." And she'll have to use dirty words.

4) An issue you addressed indirectly, Rogue, is self-esteem. You stated,

In real life I don’t like the girls who try too hard, or who are easy to get; the opposite in fact. Women that I can’t have. They are classy in terms of sexual activity and partners, they dress modestly, and when you look at her, you almost can’t imagine a man like yourself having his way with her, ever. When I imagine raping her I don’t attack her with those words, because I want her to stay that way. She’s even still wearing those clothes when I fuck her sometimes, as if she’s clinging onto her dignity.

(And who is more unavailable than the wait-until-marriage virgin, or the bride on her wedding day?)

I think you and I, Rogue, are dealing with personal self-esteem issues, and compensate and get off by desiring to bring down girls who are "above" or otherwise unavailable to us. So we degrade her not just by forcing ourselves into their ideally pristine vaginas, but in various symbolic ways. Like dirty language, the use and enjoyment of their attractive, lady-like clothes.*

I really lust after girls who are pristine and lady-like. Throw in a strong quotient of religiosity, and I'm obsessed! In almost all my fantasies, the girl wears some or most of her clothes through the rape--I love long, full skirts (especially with petticoats) pushed up to her waist, spread about the floor, fanned out while I mount her. It's like when her dress is pushed up involuntarily (or she's forced to raise it) it is a kind of a spiritual violation upon her feminine modesty.

Thanks for your thoughts.


*I'll be you a week's pay you don't go for thongs, ultra-push-up bras, garter-belts, but prefer satin bras-and-panties, slips, and moderately long-hemmed skirts.

[Rogue]

You could be right about the self esteem thing, but if I gave the impression I feel any resentment towards women above me I didn't mean to. They are the woman in my fantasies mainly because I am in complete control, so unsurprisingly, my victim is perfect in terms of beauty and my clothing/job preferences, and as unavailable as possible. I set my standards high, and why not, maybe sometimes in my personal life too. Of course my fetishes and ideal type of woman is very similar, but I would not let those unrealistic fantasies get in the way of a potentially good relationship with someone supposedly "below" that, if you know what I mean.

I always liked the idea of her writing down what I did to her, I believe it's in the film 'Scrapbook' where the rapist forces the woman to write into a diary every day. My fantasies are always symbolic. My victim's personality and clothing will play a part in how it goes down every time. I've always noticed how similar we are there. The skirts aren't that long, they just don't need to be that short. I'm a great admirer of a woman's high heels, calves and shins, even if only some is revealed. Maybe our difference is you can wait until it is pushed up during the rape, I cannot. I need her to tease her legs beforehand, so the skirt has to be at least knee level, or a small bit lower. When she crosses her legs, then my obsession kicks in! But other than that, you've kept your week's pay

[prey4me]

What you're describing, Rogue, is damned sexy. I could join you in some fiendish enterprise, and surely throw in a few twists* of my own. Like skirts? Everthing from a floor-length formal gown to a businesswoman's knee-length, to a school girl's mini....But I like them around, just above the knee for everyday. But I especially like full skirts and pleats, things which move, swish, sway, and can be spread about the sofa cushions...when she crosses her slender legs!

Back in the 60's there was a book and film called "The Collector." It didn't have sex, to speak of, except once, and that wasn't rape: the girl tried to seduce her captor to gain advantage and/or freedom. It was a psychological thing, and pretty tame by today's standards. But the premise sure got my fantasies going!

He did have the girl keep a diary, and the narrative alternated between her telling and his. I like that: explore her mind, manipulate her, etc. I have a variation on that, though.

I would like my victim(s), early in their captivity--and before they are raped--to have to write out (in long-hand, in perfect penmanship and grammar!) her complete sexual history. In detail. I would use it to play upon her fears, her desires, her hang-up. Then I would have her write out, in detail, her ideal fantasy about how she would like to have her first sexual experience (if she's a virgin). I want her to describe what she would be wearing, her lingerie, who her lover/husband would/could be, every fucking detail.

I would also want a lie detector machine, and test her to make sure she's telling me everything, and not altering things to try to please me, to play to my expectations.

Then I would have her write out her relationship with her father, and how her father treated her and her mother. You gain a lot of insight into a girl's emotional make-up there.

Also, I would have her write out tins like: what she considers her prettiest colors, her sexiest outfit, her most romantic clothes, things like that. Along the way I would have her write out what she thinks it would be like to be raped, and what her worst fears and loathings are (heights, spiders, snakes, anal sex, whatever). I would certainly use those things.


The point is, in a long-term captivity, I want to enjoy her/them in a number of ways. First, I want to be able to keep her the kind of pretty, sweet, shy and modest girl that attracted my patholigical desire for her in the first place--frankly, I don't want her to turn into a wanton fuck-bunny! So she'll maintain a wardrobe of dresses, gowns, lingerie, skirts & blouses that I like and are consistent with her classy background. Second, I want to fuck with her mind and soul, along with her body. Everytime I come downstairs, I want her obsessing with questions like: "Am I wearing the right things--will he like what I have on?" "Will I be sufficiently lady-like for him?" "Should I render him a deep or a less formal curtsy when he comes in?" "Will he have me perform?" "Should I be quiet and pasive or should I actively model and pose for him?" "AmI good enough for him--or will he sell me to a foreign bordello like he's threatened to?"

And so on.

Like your thoughts, Rogue! You're a pervert after my own heart!

*Pun intended.

[ego]

Oh, not my intention, i am not that much into namecalling (and i wasnt refering indispensably to you ), but if you wish, why not?

[Sternenlied]

Originally Posted by ego

and i wasnt refering indispensably to you

No thanks, I'm offended now!

[ego]

I wonder, is it something like "shut de fuck ap" or something else, more than my abillity to understand?

[Rogue]

I think she said something about playing the innocent virgin, going by my reply.

I should start a thread about your constant hijacking in the Rowdy Room....oh....wait

[ego]

Dont worry, i wont be pissed and departing along with my friends!

I will simply hijack your thread about hijacking, after two pages noone will remember what was initialy said!

[judith]

The rapist's power over his victim has three sources: (1) physical force; (2) fear; and (3) humiliation. The most skilled rapists balance these carefully for maximum impact. "Use the right tool for the job."

j

[judith]

Originally Posted by judith

The rapist's power over his victim has three sources: (1) physical force; (2) fear; and (3) humiliation. The most skilled rapists balance these carefully for maximum impact. "Use the right tool for the job."

j

Through humiliation, the rapist breaks down the will of the victim and penetrates to her emotional core. When I'm in the mood to be raped, I need to be boned hard emotionally and spiritually, just like I crave being boned hard physically.

The skillful rapist applies objectification (treating the victim callously, without regard for her humanity), shame (actions like stripping the victim, displaying her to others, or verbal abuse degrading the victim), and exploitation (crudely using the victim for his own gratification) to break down the victim's emotional state. If I'm not crying, it's not really rape. When I've been penetrated hard emotionally/spiritually, I feel the aftereffects in my mind for days, just like I sometimes feel the aftereffects in my body the next day from being penetrated hard physically/sexually.

j

[Sternenlied]

Originally Posted by Rogue

Unless I say "real life" or something, I'm only talking about fantasy.

Yes, don't worry about that, Vika.
We usually assume - especially with our long-time members - they are aware of the board's "No real rapes"-policy. So questions like these we usually consider to be fantasy only.
Should this be unclear we ask the posting member to clarify.
In any case you should always consider posts dealing with fantasy scenarios only.

Originally Posted by judith

Through humiliation, the rapist breaks down the will of the victim and penetrates to her emotional core. When I'm in the mood to be raped, I need to be boned hard emotionally and spiritually, just like I crave being boned hard physically.

The skillful rapist applies objectification (treating the victim callously, without regard for her humanity), shame (actions like stripping the victim, displaying her to others, or verbal abuse degrading the victim), and exploitation (crudely using the victim for his own gratification) to break down the victim's emotional state. If I'm not crying, it's not really rape. When I've been penetrated hard emotionally/spiritually, I feel the aftereffects in my mind for days, just like I sometimes feel the aftereffects in my body the next day from being penetrated hard physically/sexually.

I think we should always keep in mind that everyone experiences rape fantasy very individually.
Many people like the "simulation" only.
Men playing the rapist have to be very skillful to do so convincingly, granted. But like BDSM the woman (in this "regular" case - man, rapist; woman, victim) has final control of the scenario. Many role-playing women don't need (or want for that matter) to be emotionally penetrated and broken down.
One should always remember the lines of actual emotional abuse and watch carefully not to trespass them or someone might get hurt pretty bad.
I don't want to overstep any boundaries here but your case sounds somewhat "dangerous" to me. Maybe I just misread you but a need for actual emotional abuse might qualify as a case for professional help required.

[ezzdx]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

I don't want to overstep any boundaries here but your case sounds somewhat "dangerous" to me. Maybe I just misread you but a need for actual emotional abuse might qualify as a case for professional help required.

I think so.

[ego]

[Vika]

Originally Posted by Rogue

I think I understand it better with the girls. If they are here, they are getting raped in their fantasies, and enjoying it. No matter how many men or how much loss of control, they wish it to happen,

Well, just wanted to point it out...
"They are getting raped in their fantasies" and "they wish it to happen" are different things...

at least for some...

and not always you wish your fantasy to come true

I can talk only about myself, but I can say that my fantasies can be in asbolute vice-versa of what I like in real...

In real life I like ordinar, sensual, caring sex with loving partner, and I would hate even ROLEPLAY about rape in REAL, while I can like it in fantasies...

that's all...

[FinalKey]

Originally Posted by Vika

Well, just wanted to point it out...
"They are getting raped in their fantasies" and "they wish it to happen" are different things...

at least for some...

and not always you wish your fantasy to come true

I can talk only about myself, but I can say that my fantasies can be in asbolute vice-versa of what I like in real...

In real life I like ordinar, sensual, caring sex with loving partner, and I would hate even ROLEPLAY about rape in REAL, while I can like it in fantasies...

that's all...

I agree wholeheartdly, there's no way I'd wish that on a woman especially when the majority of my close family are women and best friends happen to be women. Anyway yea in my fantasy I normally don't do namecalling unless she's still struggling, I never speak unless I have to be rough or tell her to stop screaming or somethin.

[Rogue]

Originally Posted by Vika

Well, just wanted to point it out...
"They are getting raped in their fantasies" and "they wish it to happen" are different things...

at least for some...

and not always you wish your fantasy to come true

Don't worry Vika, even a year and a half ago I was not new to the board. Unless I say "real life" or something, I'm only talking about fantasy.

[Jasmine]

Interesting question Rogue. I wonder about why a woman would come online with such a derogatory name about themselves. Perhaps it is to get the attention of the males on the board or maybe their self-esteem is really that low.

I believe that many women on here were victims at some point in their lives and low self-esteem, feeling that they somehow deserved it or caused it is part of the pathology of being a abused.

On the flip side, what about the women who select a name that implies they are the physically sublime?