was this real rape?

[Tanya]

I remmber once last year. The time the guy bashed me up when i had prevouisly said no hitting etc, i was too SCARED to say the safeword. I dont think he woulda stopped anyway, i felt so out of control. itw as horrible...

[Babu]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the responses and thoughts.. I dunno, its been a month now maybe? I'm fine.. unless theres some hidden emotional breakdown simmering.. I wasn't scarred by it all.. the pain went away of course, and im good as new now :P

And someone was asking me a question earlier, yes it was my first RP, and yes I shouldn't have had so much to drink.. and of course, safe words for next time, but I also agree with a poster in that sometimes its too embarrassing to say the safeword.. you feel like a wimp or soemthing, or that it will ruin the mood, so you think.. ok I can take a *bit* more maybe..

I haven't really tried it since then.. but if I do again, I like the red, yellow, green idea etc.. Anyway, seems like this has happened to a few women.. I hope you all are okay, and that you have all good experiences in the future.. Thanks again for the support and advice

~Babu

[shamsundar]

Originally Posted by Babu

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the responses and thoughts.. I dunno, its been a month now maybe? I'm fine.. unless theres some hidden emotional breakdown simmering.. I wasn't scarred by it all.. the pain went away of course, and im good as new now :P

And someone was asking me a question earlier, yes it was my first RP, and yes I shouldn't have had so much to drink.. and of course, safe words for next time, but I also agree with a poster in that sometimes its too embarrassing to say the safeword.. you feel like a wimp or soemthing, or that it will ruin the mood, so you think.. ok I can take a *bit* more maybe..

I haven't really tried it since then.. but if I do again, I like the red, yellow, green idea etc.. Anyway, seems like this has happened to a few women.. I hope you all are okay, and that you have all good experiences in the future.. Thanks again for the support and advice

~Babu

Well, I said it in my first response and I'll say it again - if you are arranging a rape role play with someone who is more or less stranger, be prepared to go through it. I dont think "safe words" can work in such settings, unless, of course, the guy is also turned off. So, I would suggest this rule for women - rape role play with strangers comes with the risk of turning disagreeable. Dont try it if you cant take it once in a while. You can always try it with your well-acquainted boyfriend.

[Andering REDDSON]

Unfortunately, that’s kinda what happened to me.
Yes, it was rape. And I’m sorry, I really am.

[sams198]

Yes, you were raped. The fact that you had swapped Emails with him in no way excuses his act. Any asshole who doesn't take NO for an answer is a rapist, plain and simple. There are no mitigating circumstances. Drunkenness is no excuse either. The man raped you after you begged him to stop. That is rape in no uncertain terms. I'm sorry it turned out this way for you. In my opinion, this man deserves to have his dick cut off. Some of the members here are saying it's your fault. And they are wrong wrong wrong. Legally, you were raped.

[Warlord]

You screwed up, it happens and I hate to hear that but it is not the guys fault.
Its kind of hard to know when to stop when you are rape-playing! Good luck in the future and don't be discouraged.

[Error Nomad]

"but I also agree with a poster in that sometimes its too embarrassing to say the safeword.. you feel like a wimp or soemthing, or that it will ruin the mood, so you think.. ok I can take a *bit* more maybe.."

Say the safe word. In your case is may not have helped, but give it a try. I can say from experience that it is no fun at all when your partner tries to tough it out, because after that it takes a lot of effort and time to rebuild the trust that they -will- tell you if it's gone too far. You aren't doing anyone any favors by holding back.

I don't mean that as criticism. It's complicated at the time and every situation is different. I'm saying that you don't just damage yourself, but if you're with a caring partner, you'll do damage to them if you don't stop things when you aren't having fun anymore.

EN

[Brutalessons]

I realise I am bumping this back to the top but What the hell, it is something that comes up way to ofte and the reprecussions can be Hell.

First.... A safe word should be so easy to remember that as soon as your mind forms the thought your mouth spits it out. My suggestion is use "Safeword" Or "Safety" Or even "Time" as in time out.... all work well as they rarely have a context in any scene I have played.

Second, when scening and things start gong wrong for you, Do NOT start struggling frantically, pleading for mercy and begging Me to stop. I guarentee if I was the type that would listen to you, shy of an out and out safety word, You would not have wanted Me to "rape" you in the first place.
Take a second, Stop Moving, Talk in a calm and steady voice and say clearly.
This is not working. I think we should try this different or anything that brings reality back into the mental forefront....

Trust me, I will Stop.... Hell i will even change up, use different tactics.... Fact is, willing victims like yourself are hard to come by and I really do want to get m dick in your ass so I am willing to play along with you to get what I want.

Any of this making sense? While we think of this as hard and extreme roleplay the rules are quite similar to the vanilla genre, Us guys dont really have to care to get into your pants, just play along until we convince you to play.
Poor convincing skills or ignorance of ground rules means guys going to have callused hands or bars on his windows...

In your case I think you made the mistake of staying in the victim role even after things soured for you and your choice of method to communicate your change of attitude was exactly the one he was hoping you were going to "act out" for him.
I am glad that in the aftermath you recognised the disconnect and saw that it was a mutual disconnect and not a criminal act.

On the same note, Listen up guys.... If and When you get one of these rare gals who WANTS you to live out your every twisted thought...... Take two seconds to lay the ground rules. the safeword, and any Limits she imposes.
I Mean come on, how hard is it to not use the feather duster just this once?

[Babu]

lol I was a little shocked to see my post back up on the front page, but yeah i do agree with you on most parts. It really happened quite a while ago now, but a lot of good things have come from it, first of all, i found this site cuz I thought of all ppl to get opinions from, this group would be the best, and ive really loved this site and enjoyed it immensely since :P Also I dont feel bad or upset or any of that stuff, so in my mind, that made it okay.. the only aftermath was physical but taht ended in about a week or so.

Currently im not as obsessed with this stuff which is wierd, even tho i do find that of all my fantasies, they still go back to rape :P Cuz god damnm meh im not gonna get into it but it sure is a turn on..

Another thought I had regarding doing this sort of thing with someone u know better, bf etc.. in my case at least.. mayhbe im going for the psychological aspect of being forced, or whatever the case may be, when i do a rape rp with someone, i dont generally want to see them again, perhaps im embarrassed, or just that doing it with someone i know takes a lot more imagination and might not be as satisfying mentally..

ok im kinda rambling, but wanted to thank you for your well thought out reply and respond a bit :P

-Babu

[Brutalessons]

Originally Posted by Babu

lol I was a little shocked to see my post back up on the front page, but yeah i do agree with you on most parts. It really happened quite a while ago now, but a lot of good things have come from it, first of all, i found this site cuz I thought of all ppl to get opinions from, this group would be the best, and ive really loved this site and enjoyed it immensely since :P Also I dont feel bad or upset or any of that stuff, so in my mind, that made it okay.. the only aftermath was physical but taht ended in about a week or so.

Currently im not as obsessed with this stuff which is wierd, even tho i do find that of all my fantasies, they still go back to rape :P Cuz god damnm meh im not gonna get into it but it sure is a turn on..

Another thought I had regarding doing this sort of thing with someone u know better, bf etc.. in my case at least.. mayhbe im going for the psychological aspect of being forced, or whatever the case may be, when i do a rape rp with someone, i dont generally want to see them again, perhaps im embarrassed, or just that doing it with someone i know takes a lot more imagination and might not be as satisfying mentally..

ok im kinda rambling, but wanted to thank you for your well thought out reply and respond a bit :P

-Babu

At the risk of getting a rep for re-bumping, ah hell I'll do it anyway, but your thought regarding Stranger/Aquaintence participation bares comment.

In My experience, rarely is there a repeat performance, ocassionaly a victim will come out for seconds. Not sure if it is embarrasment though.

My outtake on it is that it is more of a matter of the intensity that the fulfillment can bring leads to a reluctance to sully the memory. Familiarity breeds contempt and it becomes hard to reconcile "Suck or choke CUNT!!!" with wine and cheese interludes. As such, while I have done the Aquaintance thing, usually with predictable loss of aquaintenceship, My most intense plays have been as a virtual stranger with no expectations of any on going interaction.

Thanks for the reply and, Trust Me, I will be keeping an Eye out for you.