So this guy i'm seeing...

[cryptic]

Ex-model. Actor. Brilliant cook. Blonde, built, intelligent, total sweetheart. Brought me flowers on our first date. We held hands and walked in the rain and talked about our feelings and shit.
And no, he's not gay.

The catch is... (yeah, with all that going on, of course there's a catch) a little story he told me when we first met.

One time he was at a bar, and a couple of girls take him back to their hotel room.
When they get there, one of the girls says, "Can we tie you up?"
He freaks out, and when the two girls go off to the bathroom, he calls a taxi and makes a run for it without even saying goodbye.
He thinks these girls are absolute freaks.

So, here's this absolute perfect specimen of a guy, who will probably run a mile if he even gets the slightest inkling of what a perve i am.

And all of a sudden, i'm not even the slightest bit interested in him sexually.
"Oh. Here's this sweet, attractive, caring guy who wouldn't hurt me for all the world. Eh...boring."

Bah. Humbug.
What should i do?

[touriquet2001]

if you like him and want to invest the time with him . take it slow , get to know each other , build some trust up between you two . ease him into things slowly . when the time is right have him tie you up , play sexual games . then when he's okay ,(if he is), with that , move on to other more extreme things . go slow and ease him into things you like . depends on you and how much time you want to invest in him .

[JohnnyReb]

Originally Posted by touriquet2001

if you like him and want to invest the time with him . take it slow , get to know each other , build some trust up between you two . ease him into things slowly . when the time is right have him tie you up , play sexual games . then when he's okay ,(if he is), with that , move on to other more extreme things . go slow and ease him into things you like . depends on you and how much time you want to invest in him .

Or not...

I have a female friend who's into kinky sex. The kinkier the better. Her now ex-husband would only have sex in the bedroom, in the dark, with him on top. So she says, if she so much as lit some candles, he'd blow them out and believed that anything other than a missionary was a sin.

After twelve years of that, she ran like hell....

[touriquet2001]

Originally Posted by JohnnyReb

Or not...

I have a female friend who's into kinky sex. The kinkier the better. Her now ex-husband would only have sex in the bedroom, in the dark, with him on top. So she says, if she so much as lit some candles, he'd blow them out and believed that anything other than a missionary was a sin.

After twelve years of that, she ran like hell....

oh i'm sure they are idiots out there like that but in my experience if you go slow with trust , the other is willing to try things to make you happy . admittedly mine is with women not men , but i'd like to think it's the same for us all . stroking their ego doesn't hurt either in getting what you want . i know i've been played like that and didn't mind it . but yeah there are ones out there that are set in their ways .

have to hope he's not one of them cryptic .

[Nemo01]

You take him for all except sex and an other for sex but seriously if you bore with sex and worse in another time find an other guy

[Ragman]

I would like to add my vote to gradual build up...

if you just come right out and hit him full bore with your deepest most depraved inner desires you run the risk of scaring him off.

like i once read in a mens magazine "try asking her to wear her hair in a pony tail before you break out the pom poms"

That being said.. JohnnyReb is also correct..Somepeople.. jsut will not explore kinkier sex, they want their vanilla and that is it... But if you go gradually and don't hit him with everything full bore than its easier for you to explore with out necesarily scaring him off. That puts the ball in your court.

As a side note.. if he just ran off on those two girls without even saying good bye or explaining that he wasn't really interested... well.. that says something... to me at least

[Ragman]

Noir I was thinking the exact same thing. just like some of the biggest homophobes are homosexual.. So too might some of the biggest kinkophobes be kinky

[Renegade]

Errr....

well maybe he would have had a 180 degree different outlook if they had asked "do you want to tie us up?" I know that would have made a BIG difference for me!

[dasVerlangen]

And I thought I forbade you from dating?

I've been more than patient thus far.
If you don't tell me where you're at in Aussieland,
I'm just going to have to hire a Bushman to find you for me.

[[m[o_o]m]]

remember the hotel room scene from Baise Moi? i would have done the same thing...tie me up my ass...heh... sounds like a smart dude to me

[ChiTownHoney]

Well, of course he would run away from those girls. Come on, think about it. He meets these strangers at a bar, and he is going to let them tie him up?? And do God knows what with him? Maybe embarrass the hell out of him and take pictures or what ever else.

Now, if he likes YOU and wants to get to know YOU, he will most likely be willing to try whatever you are into just to please you. First comes the relationship, then comes the sex, if the relationship is solid, I dont know why somebody would be so unwilling or just completely reject their loved ones desires.

I'm guessing that he is not the freak that you are, and in his right mind not to let strange woman he doesnt even know tie him up, and I am also guessing the if he likes you and gets to know you, he will be more open minded to try whatever you are into, because there is trust.

OR he is a complete closet freak and thinks you are the girl next door who only likes vanilla sex, and he thinks by tellling you this he is being a upstanding, unfreaky guy, and this will win you over.

You cant judge someone untill you get to know them and the relationship grows. You never know.

[cryptic]

Originally Posted by dasVerlangen

And I thought I forbade you from dating?

I've been more than patient thus far.
If you don't tell me where you're at in Aussieland,
I'm just going to have to hire a Bushman to find you for me.

Heh heh heh.
Is that a threat?

[cryptic]

By the way, thanks to everyone who responded.

i think the guy knows i'm a bit of a freak now...he knows that i went to Spank (a fetish event thingy) a few weeks back, and now he's joking about buying a pair of handcuffs.

i may be able to corrupt the poor boy yet.

*sighs*
i still prefer the ones who are conveniently pre-corrupted, though.
Nice is...nice.
But evil is delicious.

i'll get to know him, though...maybe his niceness will actually turn out to be a likeable characteristic? (shock horror)

[[m[o_o]m]]

jeeezus u hawt thang. if vanilla boy melts in yor hand call me

[Ragman]

Originally Posted by cryptic

and now he's joking about buying a pair of handcuffs.

I bet Noir hit it on the head. I bet he is a freak himself and A) Is worried that revealing himself with freak you out or B) is unsure about how to explore those parts of his psyche. Either way.. Have fun with the handcuffs

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Well, of course he would run away from those girls. Come on, think about it. He meets these strangers at a bar, and he is going to let them tie him up?? And do God knows what with him? Maybe embarrass the hell out of him and take pictures or what ever else.

Now, if he likes YOU and wants to get to know YOU, he will most likely be willing to try whatever you are into just to please you. First comes the relationship, then comes the sex, if the relationship is solid, I dont know why somebody would be so unwilling or just completely reject their loved ones desires.

I'm guessing that he is not the freak that you are, and in his right mind not to let strange woman he doesnt even know tie him up, and I am also guessing the if he likes you and gets to know you, he will be more open minded to try whatever you are into, because there is trust.

OR he is a complete closet freak and thinks you are the girl next door who only likes vanilla sex, and he thinks by tellling you this he is being a upstanding, unfreaky guy, and this will win you over.

You cant judge someone untill you get to know them and the relationship grows. You never know.

You right Chi! She must take it easy...maybe this guy will reveal some unexpeted attitutes...eh eh