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04-23-2007, 03:43 PM | #1 |
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Cliches and things that make you groan (in a bad way) in Porn
OK...as a writer I am as guilty of many of these as anyone else.
But what particular cliches do you hate when reading a story or watching porn? 1) Talking about a "gallon" of cum...NO NO NO...most men shake out a teaspoon or two...realism is necessary. 2) Every man has a cock the size of a 100 year old redwood tree 3) All women have a tight, vice like pussy 4) Women cum when theyre raped... 5) Men can fuck, cum and repeat endlessly until the victim is "flooded" OK...lots more, but I'm interested in what others think! |
04-23-2007, 03:47 PM | #2 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: uk
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6. Everyone in the film has model looks no matter who they are,
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04-23-2007, 03:57 PM | #3 |
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May belong in beastiality.
7.Ever envision elephant cum? |
04-23-2007, 06:55 PM | #4 |
or Jekyll and Hyde
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 781
Reputation: 1695 |
8. The poor "victim" smile into the camera (look i´m suffer) grrrr how i hate this!!
9. The victim is nude. *gape* torn clothes are much more exciting as nude. |
04-23-2007, 06:59 PM | #5 |
* yawn *
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,058
Reputation: 40178 |
10. Cheesy dialogue that makes you cringe. One movie I'm thinking in particular with the black guy and the blonde woman. "oooOOooh I dont want to get pregnant!!"
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04-24-2007, 03:45 AM | #6 |
At Rest
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,808
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Im sure ive been guilty on more than one occasion of becoming cliched... *hurries to amend next story before posting
12) When It comes to sex, phrases like ...she was being drilled into... makes it sound like some teen slasher movie 13) The terms slurping, banging, boner, stiffie occur frequently during the racier bits.... really kills the flow of the story for me. 14) Pet names given to genitalia of both sexes... like Love mound and Tube steak 15) My biggest hate is leaping into the action half way down the first paragraph.... The build up can be the most intense thing and the payoff of the "action" increased tenfold because of it.
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“If you should die before me, take my hand and ask if you could bring along a friend†Last edited by Hellcat; 04-24-2007 at 03:59 AM. |
04-24-2007, 03:59 AM | #7 |
W.I.R. and Marshal
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Way out West!!!!
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One of the big ones has to be the horrid setup for sex scenes! Oh just delivered the pizza...okay let's have sex...
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I'm a pervert and proud of it! |
04-24-2007, 04:29 AM | #8 |
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@ HC - "love mound! and tube steak" if anyone uses those on me, likely to get stabbed
@ SD - Isnt that how im supposed to be paying the pizza delivery guys and girls? |
04-24-2007, 04:32 AM | #9 |
W.I.R. and Marshal
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Way out West!!!!
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Well yeah L! Guess I need a better example
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I'm a pervert and proud of it! |
04-24-2007, 11:38 AM | #10 |
PUSSYCRUSHER
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: YOUR MOMMAS HOUSE
Posts: 2,161
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the worst thing in the world about porno.....is when the guy thinks HE !!! is the star of the video and takes up too much camera time fucking grinnning !!!!!! that really pisses me off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Original PUSSYCRUSHER !! |
04-24-2007, 03:35 PM | #11 | |
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Quote:
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04-24-2007, 05:09 PM | #12 | |
Kamina
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Deep In The African Jungles Of China
Posts: 2,733
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Quote:
adding to the list i hate when the victim "gets into it", thats just retarded, plain and simple
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"Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!" ~ Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann "I've been thinking with my gut since I was 14, and I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." ~ Rob Gordon, High Fidelity "All men are potential rapists. ALL MEN. Even the pope!" ~ Shirley Valentine "When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing." ~ John Rambo, Rambo IV "I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway." ~ Syd Barrett, Rolling Stone, December 1971 |
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04-24-2007, 05:17 PM | #13 | |
the obscure
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,457
Reputation: 14892 |
Quote:
Things i learned reading porn stories: *I perform the best cunnilingus *Any mother-in-law will willingly join me and her daughter in bed *My wife wont mind if i bring another girl in our bed *She will be huppy if the above mentioned girl is her best friend *I perform the best cunnilingus *Any girl i meet in elevetor/stairs is horny and ready to fuck *All the girls can easily swallow my whole 12 inches *Orgies happen more often than one on one *No girl asks for a condom *I perform the best cunnilingus *I fuck any cousin of mine comes home *I need less than 12' to pick a girl from any bar/cafe/supermarket/mall *Less than 8' if they are two and i suggest a triangle *All secretaries fuck their boss *Half of them while his wife watches and masturbates p.s. *I perform the best cunnilingus
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04-24-2007, 05:30 PM | #14 |
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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LMFAO!!! Ego..thats fantastic.
I heard you do give the best cunnilingus though, is that true? LOL |
04-27-2007, 01:19 PM | #15 |
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Worst Of All
WORST is a BAD fucking Story Line??? Like come on stick with the damn plot already!! Dont be jumping around!??
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! |
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