Teacher's Pet.

[butsch]

http://rapidshare.com/files

[prisonerslave]

oh how i wish there was more!

[star67]

yes, i'm working on it. thanks for the feedback, guys. especially your comments saer... for noticing i was trying to write primarily a >decent story (with the secondary purpose being porn, heh)

i don't want to post anything i'm not feeling in my gut.

Chapter 1.5 - Taster

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"Take off your shirt.’ He says, leaning forward, his voice low.
"Wha..." She starts.
He interrupts her: “If I have to get out of my chair, I will not be pleased.”
She hears the creak as he leans back in his chair, hands in his lap. Cera waits a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. She squirms on the spot, brow creased in humiliation. His eyebrows shoot up after a few moments “What are you waiting for?” He asks, frowning slightly.
“I can’t… I can’t do that. You can’t …” The words don’t seem to make it past her teeth, and instead they’re replaced by a frantic shaking of her head and a few nervous, whispered “no’s”

He looks angry now, his calm, smug veneer cracking slightly with her noncompliance. Her heart races as she watches him lean forward and look her directly in the eyes.
“That wasn’t a suggestion.” He snarls. Leaning back again in his leather chair, he recalls all the pale, frightened girls who’ve said ‘no’ in his office and quickly changed their tune. He is sure, in this instance, that that won’t be the case. She’s far too stubborn to become a bawling mess so easily.

She frowns in apprehension, but slowly and surely lifts her small hands, unfastening the white shirt button by button. There it is, he thinks, swallowing to suppress the rousing in his stomach. He drops his eyes to the bare flesh of her torso. She slips of the shirt and lets it fall to the ground in a heap, arm snaking across to grab the opposite elbow in an attempt to cover herself up. It doesn’t work though; the curve of her breasts is accentuated, peeking out from behind the black fabric that he wishes he could telepathically remove.

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[kitty_joanne]

we want more!!!!!!!~

[HYMENBUSTER]

more...don't make me hunt you down!

[prisonerslave]

such a tease! hehe

[ziranac]

would love to read more...

[star67]

************************************************** ***
“What do you think is going to happen?” Cera Jayne asks nonchalantly, looking over at her two friends.
“You should know. You’ve been to that office often enough… You’d think you enjoyed it or something.” Amanda quips, grinning back at her.
Cera cringes internally, her stomach turning at the suggestion.
“Aw, don’t… That’s sick. Besides, I’m just curious. It’s usually just a slap on the wrist… My parents would blow a fucking gasket if I got expelled.” She says softly, eyes fixed firmly on the sunlit grass.
“You need to chill, my little friend.” Jade starts, picking at weeds, “He’s mostly harmless.”
Cera thinks of how she can broach the subject without them being suspicious.
“You don’t think he’s... I don’t know. A little creepy?”
“Oh come on. He’s just a dirty old man. He’ll probably just shout at you and then go home and spank it while he thinks of you.” Jade replies, smirking.
Amanda cringes and then bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
Cera forces a chuckle. “Why am I friends with you guys again?”
“Because we’re such awesome people!” Jade replies, flinging the string of daisies that she’s been working on across the grass.
“Now c’mon. If we’re late for class, who knows what terrible punishments Old Man Kildale will have for us!” She jokes, lifting herself elegantly from the grass and striding towards the school.
Amanda snorts again, letting out an “OoOoO” of false fear as she walks away.

Cera sighs and waits until they are ahead before rising; her mind filled with images of his thick, salty fingers forcing their way into her mouth.

************************************************** ***

‘Take off your shirt.’ He says, leaning forward, his voice low.
He interrupts her: “If I have to get out of my chair, I will not be pleased.”
She hears the creak as he leans back in his chair, hands in his lap. Cera waits a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. She squirms on the spot, brow creased in humiliation. His eyebrows shoot up after a few moments “What are you waiting for?” He asks, frowning slightly.
“I can’t… I can’t do that. You can’t …” The words don’t seem to make it past her teeth, and instead they’re replaced by a frantic shaking of her head and a few nervous, whispered “no’s”

He looks angry now, his calm, smug veneer cracking slightly with her noncompliance. Her heart races as she watches him lean forward and look her directly in the eyes.
“That wasn’t a suggestion.” He snarls. Leaning back again in his leather chair, he recalls all the pale, frightened girls who’ve said ‘no’ in his office and quickly changed their tune. He is sure, in this instance, that that won’t be the case. She’s far too stubborn to become a bawling mess so easily.

She frowns in apprehension, but slowly and surely lifts her small hands, unfastening the white shirt button by button. There it is he thinks, swallowing to suppress the rousing in his stomach. He drops his eyes to the bare flesh of her torso. She slips of the shirt and lets it fall to the ground in a heap, arm snaking across to grab the opposite elbow in an attempt to cover herself up. It doesn’t work though; the curve of her breasts is accentuated, peeking out from behind the black fabric that he wishes he could telepathically remove.

He watches her sway slightly on the spot, unsure and naïve.
“What are you waiting for?” He asks, with a hint of annoyance.
“Isn’t there some other…”
“No.” He cuts her off abruptly, “You should have thought of that earlier. I’ve been more than… lenient with you. Now, lose it. All of it.”
She looks scared, eyes darting from side to side under her creased brow, breathing erratic, and he’s slightly disappointed. He slams a fist down on his desk.
“NOW!” He shouts.

The Headmaster watches her strip, clothing falling piece by piece on the dark carpet. Each inch of new flesh is like a kick in the gut and he has to restrain himself fully from striding over to her and tearing the clothes off like she deserves.
“Turn around… Slowly.” He says to her, softly.
She spins on the spot, heart beating a bruise into the inside of her ribcage.
“Ahh.” He sighs, a breath of air escaping him at the sight. She can't be more than a buck ten, he realises, and in all the right places. He sees the parts of her body working as she moves … smooth and supple and awkward. All that, perfect for him to grab and mark and bite and fuck and use and…

“Lie down. Now.” He demands, his impatience finally getting the better of him, restlessly shifting in his chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He runs a hand along her body - across her ribcage, stopping momentarily at her tiny waist, back up over the curve of her hip. The way her ass curves in the position he is holding her in drives him wild, so that his hips jerk forward, pressing the straining in his pants against her prone pussy and making her whimper again. He smiles as he thinks about it... He feels like he is so hard he could burst free and start fucking her like she deserves. But he waits. He wants it to be slow, and perfect, and terrifying. He wants her to enjoy the feel of him inside her, even when every other part of her is screaming no.

His hands move over her breasts, kneading the supple flesh that fills his hands. She grimaces as his hands grab her roughly, but says nothing, rough fingertips pinching and teasing her nipples. He feels his cock twitch as he leaves red hand-marks on her soft, pale breasts, and he’s impressed that she’s yet to make a sound.
“Does that hurt?” He asks her, continuing the forceful exploration of her body.
“Y… Yes.” She gasps, brow creased in pain.
“Yes what?”
“Yes... Headmaster.”
A satisfied smile spreads across his face.
“It’s so kind of you to behave yourself.” He says softly, smiling, “It’s too bad you can’t be this obedient outside of my office.”
With that he replaces his hands with his mouth, ignoring the whimpered “no” that escapes her and clamping his lips on her nipple, biting and sucking hard enough to leave a mark.

She feels him trail his hot, wet tongue down her body, lower and lower. The stubble on his face rubs against the soft skin on her stomach, which is damp with sweat.

Cera’s whole body jerks as his tongue first touches her clitoris. He holds her still as she bucks and wriggles, his nails leaving red, crescent-shaped marks on the pale flesh of her hips, his mouth forcing its way into every inch of her pussy. He knows, from the number of frightened girls that have passed through, that he may only get one chance at making this perfect. “In hoc signo vinces” he muses internally, eying the framed school motto behind his desk.

Her mind is telling her to fight, begging her to fight back, but she can’t. It’s not supposed to be like this is all she can think, clenching her eyes shut, knowing he is looking up at her as he violates her. When she tries to push him off he swats her hands away as if they were a mere annoyance, wrapping strong hands around her thin wrists and forcing his tongue deeper inside her.

When he tastes enough of the warm, salty wetness coming from her, and she has lost some of her fight, he stops. Straightening up, he runs a sleeve across his mouth and looks down over her body, every inch untouched except for the red marks he has left there. “Hmm.” He leers at her. “That was almost too easy.”

He lets go of her left thigh for now and lets it fall, leaning forward, pressing her body into the carpet with his own. She cringes slightly under the pressure, even though he can tell she is trying hard to be impassive.
He's so close he can feel his own hot breath as it comes off her cheek. His lips brush her cheek before he talks, and he feels her body shaking beneath him.

Silent tears begin to flow down her cheeks again as she hears him unzip his suit pants. From the corner of her eye, she sees him pull out his cock and she whimpers, knowing what will happen next. “Please…” is the only thing she manages to say, but there’s no force behind it, it’s just a whimpered, humiliating request. He prepares himself, pushing the tip to the tiny opening, already warm and wet and inviting and dizzying.
"This is going to hurt.” He growls at her, “I've seen that skinny little prick you call your boyfriend." With that he pushes his hips forward, forcing the thick head past the lips of her pussy, into the tiny hole.
He watches her arch off the sheets as he pushes himself deeper into her, centimetre by centimetre. She lets out an involuntary gasp of pain as he stretches her, until the tip of his cock hits the end of her pussy and he steadies himself.
“Fuck.” He whispers breathlessly, taking in every sensation. The soft, warm, vice grip around his dick… The big, brown eyes wide with shock and fear… The smell of her… He grabs a fistful of her hair and pulls her head back until his face is buried in her hair.
“Mmmm. You are tighter than I expected.” He whispers in her ear, running a tongue along the smooth flesh of her cheek, lapping up the salty trail of tears as she tries to wrench her face away from him.

He begins to fuck her, slowly at first, sliding in and out of her as smoothly as possible, listening to her small half-gasp-half-moans that punctuate each thrust. When he’s sure he’s at a steady rhythm he speeds up, pumping faster and increasing the frequency of her whimpers.
"You like that, don't you? You dirty little bitch."
He thrusts deeper into her, again and again, harder and harder. Occasionally he rubs a rough thumb against her clit until she bucks and contracts around his cock, drawing a long grunt from him. Cera winces in pain each time he rams his thick cock into her unprepared pussy, gasping for breath under the weight of his much larger body.

He flips her on to her back and repositions his cock at her entrance.
“Now, look at me. I want to see your face while I’m fucking you.”
Slowly, reluctantly, she turns her head towards the ceiling and her eyes meet his. He stares into her for a few seconds, smirking; searching for that defiant look that he hopes he’s pounded out of her.
“Not so fucking tough now, are you?”
With that he forcefully guides himself back inside her tight hole, forcing an involuntary moan from her lips.
“No…” She sobs, turning her head towards the wall. “I…”
“What was that?” He asks, panting. His rhythm is becoming more irregular as he feels himself getting closer
She gasps each time he pumps his hips but says nothing more, her eyes looking everywhere but into his. Her expression is the perfect mixture of shock, humiliation, pain and reluctant pleasure that he had dreamed about.
“Has anyone ever come inside you?” He asks her, punctuating the question by thrusting sharply, forcing a yelp from her lips. “I wouldn’t think so… You feel like you’ve never been fucked before….”
He smiles cruelly at her. “Is this what you wanted? Is this why you can’t stay out of trouble?”
“I’m sorry!” She blurts out, unable to keep it in any longer, as he pounds her, stretching her uncomfortably with each stab of his cock. “I’m sorry… please, don’t.”
“Oh, I am going to. Perhaps this time you will finally learn your lesson.”
“No… No… I’m sorry… please don’t…”

The sound of her, dissolving into a mess of sobbing and pleading, is enough to push him over the edge.
He grunts when he comes; a long, slow guttural sound that he breathes into her ear. She feels him thrust his hips forward in one last painful push, the sticky, hot mess filling coating every inch of her hole like nothing she’s ever felt before.

It’s silent when it’s over, apart from the heavy breathing escaping her Headmaster’s lips. She’s too shocked to move and even the muscles in her face are etched in a blank stare, fascinated by the wooden rafters on the ceiling. His heavy body is still slumped on hers, pressing her into the carpet.

************************************************** *

Cera gasps as she catches sight of herself in the dorm room mirror. She gingerly runs her hands over the long, red carpet burns on her back, and then switches off the light.

************************************************** *

[prisonerslave]

very satisfying star. im a big fan

[star67]

thank you so much, prisonerslave. your posts were very motivational, and i'm glad you liked it

*tumbleweed* i knew i'd lose a few customers with the oral but still... harsh.

any comments people? bad, good, whatever...

[Saer]

I certainly enjoyed the writing style, and a "decent" story, good teacher/student-older/younger dominance-dynamic. I found the dialogue good (I gather one would call it dialogue, even if it was largely one-sided), realistic to my mind (as much as any dialogue in a rape fantasy can be realistic).

AND it was hot. I must admit I'm not personally a huge fan of dominant giving dominated oral, but it's easy enough to skip over to the more meaty stuff. And the meaty stuff was mmmmmm meaty.

[soulless]

I'm not sure if I'm your favourite person right now but you asked for constructive criticism and I never had time to really sit down before, so here goes.

First of all don't let the audience dictate your writing style. This may at first sight appear to contradict something I am going to say later but there is a subtle difference. On a very general level, remember the old adage, you can't please all of the people, all of the time. Some people won't like your story/writing style/characters. This is especially true in erotic literature. Everyone finds different things arousing. Don't change your style to try to please your critics. if you do, you will probably end up losing some existing fans and once you start writing in a style or start writing content you aren't comfortable with, your writing will suffer because you'll lose direction. Don't look for an audience. Concentrate on honing your style and they will find you.

Remember, the basics. Stories require a beginning, a middle and an end. Readers of erotic literature, especially males are notoriously impatient and desperate to get to the meat of the story. But even if that's the case remember background details add substance to the story and can make those 'meaty' parts more exciting. Example?

“Well, I’ll explain. This is your 5th offence, which means, if I recall correctly, automatic expulsion… Unless...”
She’s worried now. She had hoped it wouldn’t come to this. The girls who left this office were never the same again… But they (and she) figured it was a damn sight better than going to prison or juvie. She knows he wouldn’t think twice about kicking her out onto the street, or worse.

Why is she worried? What is she scared of? Expulsion wouldn't ordinarily result in an immediate trip to juvie. So is she scared she will be sent back home? Scared of how her father will punish her for getting expelled? Or maybe she came from an abusive family where she was beaten for no reason. Perhaps she likes Kildale, because she is safe there and she is bitterly scared of what awaits her at home. It doesn't really matter WHY. What does matter is that you need to convey to the reader that there is "A" reason that she is scared. You need to present this fear in a way the reader can relate to so that he/she realizes how scared the character is and how she has absolutely no choice except to do whatever is asked of her, despite the fact that it disgusts her. Without a stronger sense of fear, the sex seems too 'consensual'.

Although I said don't look for an audience, if you are writing to an existing one (your fans), then think about what they want to read and convey that in more detail. I know you are turned on by the concept of an older man, a 'real' man, thrusting his manhood deep into this young, inexperienced girl whose boyfriend is a bit of a whimp. You show a little of how he feels during that section through his dialogue with her, but you don't describe in any detail, the effort it takes to force his erect cock into her young teenage body. You describe her back arching off the bed but you don't describer her pain, her shock or surprise at his size or the strength or depth of his thrust. There is no description of what sex with her boyfriend is like and why this is different. Subtle details but they can make a huge difference in conveying the excitement and in arousing the audience.

Finally ... CONTINUITY!

I do read stories carefully, especially yours as it did arouse me, but look at how the sex progresses :-

“Lie down. Now.” He demands, his impatience finally getting the better of him, restlessly shifting in his chair.

Now she could have laid down on her stomach but then you continue

His hands move over her breasts, kneading the supple flesh that fills his hands ... She feels him trail his hot, wet tongue down her body, lower and lower. The stubble on his face rubs against the soft skin on her stomach, which is damp with sweat.

Which suggests she is on her back. Then you continue

He lets go of her left thigh for now and lets it fall, leaning forward, pressing her body into the mattress with his own ... He watches her arch off the sheets as he pushes himself deeper into her

This suggests to me that she is being fucked on her back but then you say

He flips her on to her back and repositions his cock at her entrance.

???

After he comes inside her, you say

His heavy body is still slumped on hers, pressing her into the carpet.

Weren't they on a bed (mattress)?


Small details but evidence to me that you didn't take the time to proof read.

[Trill]

Not bad, apart from the inconsistencies soulless just pointed out. A good dollop of creativity.

[star67]

Originally Posted by soulless

I'm not sure if I'm your favourite person right now but you asked for constructive criticism and I never had time to really sit down before, so here goes.

...

Small details but evidence to me that you didn't take the time to proof read.

Meow. No, you're right. I got lost somewhere in between trying to write for other people and trying to write for myself, which is a terrible place for the writing to end up.

That's the only way I can explain the rush to the 'meaty' parts (which is why some parts don't make much sense). Just to clarify a few things you mentioned:
a) They're in his office, on the carpet. Yes, I know.
b) She's initially on her SIDE (then switches to her back). I tried to describe that in more detail but it sounded perfunctory.
c) The criminal damage she's caused in the past would be why she went to Juvie, not for being expelled.
d) I don't enjoy writing from the female's point of view, which is why there's no description of how she feels, etc - and I don't apologise for this part.

To be honest, I dislike a lot of the last part because I rushed it - It's the first full sex scene I've ever written and I just wanted to finish it.

Thanks for the feedback.

[touriquet2001]

i liked it , please continue

[crimsondesire]

Star, I have completly"completly" enjoyed this story, shortly,I just wanted to take this opportunity to praise you on your work .