The gambling debt. - Page 4 - Rape Board

Intheshadows · 07-15-2007, 01:21 AM

"Excellent Missy. Your making a the best choice but let me warn you. If you break our deal then you'll spend the rest of your life as a whore here in this backward country. Not only that, but you'll owe me a debt and I'll collect it on your sister when she gets old enough.", I said to her.

Intheshadows · 07-15-2007, 01:24 AM

Missy replied, "Yes. Mr. Gallo. I understand and will live up to my end of bargain." He put his hand on my leg and smiled. He then told Bruno to take me shopping for some nice clothes and to bring me up to his hotel room tomorrow evening.

Intheshadows · 07-15-2007, 04:42 PM

Five years later at the final job interview:

Liz answered, "Yes sir, I enjoy traveling and would love to see Romania."

Mr. Gallo replied, "Excellent consider yourself hired. Your first day of work will be Friday, your going to get to fly on my private jet. Your assignment will be to take care of some unfinished business regarding a broken deal. You'll get the details on route."

THE END

Marker · 08-06-2007, 11:05 PM

very nice ending! will there be a sequel? i really enjoyed that story! i'd love to see her as a whore in the brothel! it was a great story though good work!

ishkara · 08-27-2007, 07:07 AM

i really really liked this i can see what you were saying....

NoTrouble · 11-07-2007, 08:56 AM

Excellent story. Very nice build-up. Good plot, with interesting twists along the way. You'd made it pretty clear in each post, without being too obvious, who was talking this time; this also made it for an interesting read.

I'd suggest expanding on ideas, fleshing them out with more description. What you had was good. I think your story would have been that much more enjoyable with descriptions that showed each characters thinking a bit more and expanded on the roles.... their triumphs, fears, etc...

Thank you.

-NT

07-15-2007, 01:21 AM	#61
Intheshadows Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,743 Reputation: 642	"Excellent Missy. Your making a the best choice but let me warn you. If you break our deal then you'll spend the rest of your life as a whore here in this backward country. Not only that, but you'll owe me a debt and I'll collect it on your sister when she gets old enough.", I said to her. Last edited by Intheshadows; 08-07-2007 at 12:01 AM.

08-06-2007, 11:05 PM	#64
Marker Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: ireland Posts: 49 Reputation: 75	very nice ending! will there be a sequel? i really enjoyed that story! i'd love to see her as a whore in the brothel! it was a great story though good work! __________________ so fuck you and all we've been through i said leave it it's nothing to you and if you hate me then hate me so good that you can let me out

11-07-2007, 08:56 AM	#66
NoTrouble Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Baltimore, Md Posts: 110 Reputation: 12	Excellent story. Very nice build-up. Good plot, with interesting twists along the way. You'd made it pretty clear in each post, without being too obvious, who was talking this time; this also made it for an interesting read. I'd suggest expanding on ideas, fleshing them out with more description. What you had was good. I think your story would have been that much more enjoyable with descriptions that showed each characters thinking a bit more and expanded on the roles.... their triumphs, fears, etc... Thank you. -NT __________________ ---Your fear, your stark terror. Poor baby! Yes, I think I SHALL keep you a day longer and rape you some more.

07-15-2007, 01:24 AM	#62
Intheshadows Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,743 Reputation: 642	Missy replied, "Yes. Mr. Gallo. I understand and will live up to my end of bargain." He put his hand on my leg and smiled. He then told Bruno to take me shopping for some nice clothes and to bring me up to his hotel room tomorrow evening.

07-15-2007, 04:42 PM	#63
Intheshadows Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,743 Reputation: 642	Five years later at the final job interview: Liz answered, "Yes sir, I enjoy traveling and would love to see Romania." Mr. Gallo replied, "Excellent consider yourself hired. Your first day of work will be Friday, your going to get to fly on my private jet. Your assignment will be to take care of some unfinished business regarding a broken deal. You'll get the details on route." THE END

08-27-2007, 07:07 AM	#65
ishkara Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 70 Reputation: 73	i really really liked this i can see what you were saying....