Transitioning to real life play

[Shade]

Considering the differences between online and real life RF, how did, or do you expect, the transition to work?

Does real life live up to your expectations? Are you satisfied with SSC (safe/sane/consensual), or is that too vanilla? Do you (or plan to) take risks to more fully live the fantasy? In another thread, a couple of people mentioned trying to get raped. Would you really put yourself in that position with a stranger?

Do resources like this forum help? Or are they only for online interest? Does the growing acceptance of alternatives make it easier to discuss with partners?

When I started, there was no internet or personal computers, much less resources about BDSM or RF. It was pure luck (or fate) that I fell in with like-minded people at an early age. But all we had to go on was our own imagination, and a few books/mags/peepshows when we could manage it. Not very reliable, so we moved very slowly and carefully.

While I often enjoy pushing limits for online roleplay, I had and have no problem with SSC in RL play. I expect my partner to enjoy it, even while crying for me to stop. My imagination fills in the rest.

But I’ve met people who are not satisfied with that. They either must push the limit or the play never lives up to the fantasy.

[justmetoo]

I'm very lucky in that my wife goes for SSC within reason. What that means is that when I have her tied to the bed there isn't much she can do about it. This gives me the chance to enjoy her body and have my way with her while still living in my fantasy world.

Do I want to push the limit - yes. My ultimate fantasy is to have her tied to the bed as I introduce her to my new "friends." We've explored 3-somes but as of yet, this is a threshold I've not gotten her to overcome. I've played with her with the idea (tied to the bed, the doorbell rings) but this is a step I won't take without her consent. Before I met her she was raped IRL so I understand where she is coming from.

But in my mind, I have taken her many times imagining me to be someone else. She knows this too and asks me from time to time who's fucking her.

So I guess for me this is enough to satisfy me.

[dream_it]

Considering the differences between online and real life RF, how did, or do you expect, the transition to work?

umm while in my mind i would love to be dragged off street by a couple of guys, I guess transition would be less dramatic lol

a fair bit of talking, arranging things ( do's and don't) but not too arranged otherwise lose the thrill and excitiment and become more a date thing.




Does real life live up to your expectations? only played it with BF so far, it was ok but nothing like it would be with strangers as I always knew it was him


Are you satisfied with SSC (safe/sane/consensual), or is that too vanilla? mmmm thats hard to answer, in my mind anything goes

Do you (or plan to) take risks to more fully live the fantasy? The idea really appeals a lot not sure how tho

In another thread, a couple of people mentioned trying to get raped. Would you really put yourself in that position with a stranger? Again the idea really appeals, love the idea of guys wanting me so bad they take me (ego I know lol)
I guess it was one of the reasons I put my picture on here (thinking doing again but I don't know if I should). The excitement I felt doing it and the comments from guys of course, add in fantasy of being recognized in street by guys and they knowing my desires

Do resources like this forum help? Or are they only for online interest? it helps, makes me feel less guilty or like a freak for wanting it

Does the growing acceptance of alternatives make it easier to discuss with partners? depends on the partner, really only had one that was accepting of it

[Tim Woodman]

You can never overstress the important use of the word "Fantasy" whether online or in the bedroom.

I started doing BDSM & rape scenes in the bedroom, then on camera, and later transitioned into online roleplay. It is fun how much more extreme you can get in cyber settings, right down to mutilation and murder, but it's still fantasy. And honestly, with blunt knives & fake blood, I still do those things on camera and in the bedroom too.

Shade and Justmetoo, thank you both for eloquent and well written posts. I agree with you completely. Super-extreme fantasies can be acted out in safe AND fulfilling ways. That's why we love roller-coasters, but tend to avoid actually driving our cars off cliffs.