Funny stuff - Rape Board

ego · 11-25-2006, 09:14 AM

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ego · 11-25-2006, 09:49 AM

Dear PC-Solutions,
Last year i upgrade from Fionce 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and i noticed that the new software made unexpected changes to econimical excel seeds and had limited access to tasks like flowers and jwellery.Also, Husband 1.0 uninstalled other programs, like Romantic walk 9.9 and installed unwanted pop-ups like Champions League 5.0 and Football 8.0 . Dialog 1.3 is not running anymore, while Cleaning 2.6 crashes and makes the system collapse. I try run Complain 5.3 Gold Edition but nothing....
A desparate woman...

Answer:

Dear desparate woman,
You should have in mind that while Fionce 5.0 is a entertainment program, Husband 1.0 is an opperational system, with requirments from users.
Try to run C:/I thought you loved me.exe and install Tears 6.2 (original edition).Normally, Husband 1.0 will start the tasks Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0 at random.
Attention!
Overuse of the aboves, may cause running of screen savers like Dont speak at all 5.3 and Beer 6.1 ( Beer 6.1 may play WAV files during sleep.Restart will be nessaisary).
Dont even try to install Motherinlow 1.0 or Lover 3.8 unregistered (they are not compatible and will make the system collapse).
Husband 1.0 is a good programm but low in memory and needs time to start new tasks.We sugest to install Wellcooked food 3.0 autoupdate and Horny underwear 5.3
The admin....

ego · 11-25-2006, 09:56 AM

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ego · 11-25-2006, 10:03 AM

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley?"
"I have four questions."
"First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Bush tells the kids that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right:
question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points to him and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"Actually, I have 6 questions."
"First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?"
"Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

ego · 11-25-2006, 10:13 AM

ego · 11-25-2006, 10:16 AM

Post-it-Note - For those little things you might forget.

ego · 11-25-2006, 10:39 AM

Some guy travells with a zepellin.He realise he is lost, so goes down to meet another man.
"Hey'' he says, "can u help me? I promised a friend i meet him but i dont know where the fuck i am".
The other man answers: "You are in a hot air ballon, about 10 meters high. 38 degrees east and 23 degrees north''.
"Well ok'', the lost one answers, "i guess u r a computers technician.Although everything u say is technically right, i dont know what to do with this information and i am still lost.Honestly u didnt help a lot''.
And the guy in ground: "And u must be a manager. U dont know where u r, or where u go.U went that high thanks to a ballon. U gave a promise that u cant keep and u wait from people above u to give a solution to your problems.Althought u r in the same condition u were before ask me, somehow now it seems to be my fault"!

Son_of_Herb · 11-25-2006, 10:49 AM

ugah, ugah.

ego · 11-25-2006, 10:50 AM

In the university, philosophy class, the students were asked to write an as small as possible text that contains:
1.Relligion
2.Monarchy
3.Sex
4.Mystery

First winner's text: "Oh my god" said the queen."I am pregnant. I wonder who is the father"!

Three things sex and death have in common:
1.It can happen everywhere
2.Near the end u moan
3.Then u r dead!

Three things a woman's circle and a salary have in common:
1.They come once a month
2.They last six days
3.Then u can go fucked!

Hope u enjoy!

Son_of_Herb · 11-25-2006, 10:52 AM

Having had no money for meat, this Thanks Giving, I cut off my dick and ate it.

It was delicious.

Now, I am dickless, heh, heh.

sindyloo · 11-28-2006, 06:59 PM

HUH?? Hey SOH didnt he write Christsmas Carol? oh wait that was Dickens not Dickless?!

So here goes for some sad or sick humor you guys decide!!??

Q. what is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
A. You can unscrew the light bulb.

Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one. But the light bulb must really be willing to change.

Q. What do you call a bus load of politicans at the bottom of a lake?
A. A damn fine start!

Q. Who has bigger Boobs than Dolly Parton?
A. Barbara Bush. She has Jeb and George Duh Buya!

Think thats enough for now!!

11-25-2006, 09:49 AM	#2
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	A married woman's letter to a technology mag Dear PC-Solutions, Last year i upgrade from Fionce 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and i noticed that the new software made unexpected changes to econimical excel seeds and had limited access to tasks like flowers and jwellery.Also, Husband 1.0 uninstalled other programs, like Romantic walk 9.9 and installed unwanted pop-ups like Champions League 5.0 and Football 8.0 . Dialog 1.3 is not running anymore, while Cleaning 2.6 crashes and makes the system collapse. I try run Complain 5.3 Gold Edition but nothing.... A desparate woman... Answer: Dear desparate woman, You should have in mind that while Fionce 5.0 is a entertainment program, Husband 1.0 is an opperational system, with requirments from users. Try to run C:/I thought you loved me.exe and install Tears 6.2 (original edition).Normally, Husband 1.0 will start the tasks Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0 at random. Attention! Overuse of the aboves, may cause running of screen savers like Dont speak at all 5.3 and Beer 6.1 ( Beer 6.1 may play WAV files during sleep.Restart will be nessaisary). Dont even try to install Motherinlow 1.0 or Lover 3.8 unregistered (they are not compatible and will make the system collapse). Husband 1.0 is a good programm but low in memory and needs time to start new tasks.We sugest to install Wellcooked food 3.0 autoupdate and Horny underwear 5.3 The admin.... Last edited by ego; 11-25-2006 at 09:52 AM.

11-25-2006, 10:03 AM	#4
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	President Bush visits school George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. "Stanley," responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Stanley?" "I have four questions." "First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?" Just then, the bell rings for recess. Bush tells the kids that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. George points to him and asks him his name. "Steve," he responds. "And what is your question, Steve?" "Actually, I have 6 questions." "First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?" "Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

11-25-2006, 10:39 AM	#7
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	Manager vs technician Some guy travells with a zepellin.He realise he is lost, so goes down to meet another man. "Hey'' he says, "can u help me? I promised a friend i meet him but i dont know where the fuck i am". The other man answers: "You are in a hot air ballon, about 10 meters high. 38 degrees east and 23 degrees north''. "Well ok'', the lost one answers, "i guess u r a computers technician.Although everything u say is technically right, i dont know what to do with this information and i am still lost.Honestly u didnt help a lot''. And the guy in ground: "And u must be a manager. U dont know where u r, or where u go.U went that high thanks to a ballon. U gave a promise that u cant keep and u wait from people above u to give a solution to your problems.Althought u r in the same condition u were before ask me, somehow now it seems to be my fault"!

11-25-2006, 10:50 AM	#9
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	Philosophy In the university, philosophy class, the students were asked to write an as small as possible text that contains: 1.Relligion 2.Monarchy 3.Sex 4.Mystery First winner's text: "Oh my god" said the queen."I am pregnant. I wonder who is the father"! Three things sex and death have in common: 1.It can happen everywhere 2.Near the end u moan 3.Then u r dead! Three things a woman's circle and a salary have in common: 1.They come once a month 2.They last six days 3.Then u can go fucked! Hope u enjoy!

11-25-2006, 10:49 AM	#8
Son_of_Herb Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 34 Reputation: 45	ugah, ugah.

11-25-2006, 10:52 AM	#10
Son_of_Herb Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 34 Reputation: 45	Having had no money for meat, this Thanks Giving, I cut off my dick and ate it. It was delicious. Now, I am dickless, heh, heh.

11-28-2006, 06:59 PM	#11
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	HUH?? Hey SOH didnt he write Christsmas Carol? oh wait that was Dickens not Dickless?! So here goes for some sad or sick humor you guys decide!!?? Q. what is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? A. You can unscrew the light bulb. Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? A. Just one. But the light bulb must really be willing to change. Q. What do you call a bus load of politicans at the bottom of a lake? A. A damn fine start! Q. Who has bigger Boobs than Dolly Parton? A. Barbara Bush. She has Jeb and George Duh Buya! Think thats enough for now!!