Female perspective:rape fantasies are more common then you think.

[ChiTownHoney]

Ok, I think that rape fantasies in women are completely normal and commonplace even though people do not talk about it.

I will tell you why

It is natural to want the strongest man. Even in nature you see this. Two males fight each other and the winner claims the female. Women want a fighter. This also leaks into sexual desire. It is natural for women to want the dominant male, it is also expected that he be dominant in other aspects such as sexual behavior, such as being pushed up against a wall or held down, all dominant behavior.

Now in our day and age, you see weak men, they want their women to go out and make money while they sit at home and let her provide for him, they get walked all over by women. I am not talking about ALL men, but I've seen my fair share of weak men. Its not like these things are mutually exclusive or anything, a guy can be a fighter and let a woman walk all over them, and so forth, I cant define any clear cut lines. Alot of the times, women do not want these types....Did you ever watch a "nice" guy not get the girl, but her going with this total badass? Yep..its natural.

Also, the woman feels like she is wanted and desired. The man desires her so much, he just can help himself. These are all natural elements of human nature that cause rape fantasy. Ok, maybe this is a bit arrogant of me to think that everyone thinks like me, but I believe it to be true.

So, Why is rape fantasy considered a taboo from a womens perspective? I think ALL women have fantasized about being raped but dont talk about it.

however, I do have trouble figuring out why men fantasize about rape. I believe its to be one of three things: You are rejected alot by women and are pissed off at woman, You want to feel powerful, or you are a sadist (in the latter, my dream man ). Opinions are welcomed

These are all just my opinions! if any man wants to tell me his reason behind rape fantasy, please do! Prove me wrong, I really do want to know

[Ragman]

i can not speak for all men but I can pipe up for myself. I personally feel i am a combination of a couple things. I have always been a bit of a villan at heart so maybe that has something to do with it, but as I was reading your post i think i may have come to another reason as well.

I don't want to be the sort of man that you describe, and I am not. I Work hard and I am never brutish or mean to my woman, but in this world where it seems to me that most men HAVE been emasculated, sometimes its great just to take that back.

Spend all day being nice.. and civil, and respectful.. then when that door closes behind you at night grab her, tear her shirt off and say "this is the way its gonna be damn it!! like it or not!" It fulfills a savage part of my psyche that needs to be nutured just a lil bit. Even though Everything that i play with my lady is safe and discussed before hand, the act of letting my inner beast out for just a moment can be very rewarding...

Is its natural for a women to want a dominant male.

I thought nature dicated it was natural for a women to want the male with the best sperm to give her the best off-spring?

I guess that comes "part and parcel" with wanting a strong dominant male but for more the reason he can fight to protect the family.

[Sternenlied]

Being a psychologist I can't support all reason based on biology of course!

I remember however we had a very similar discussion some months back and I opened a few points very close to yours. They are mostly accurate in my opinion as well. Just want to add my own findings here and there.

Although women of course prefer the strong male we have been accustomed to "cvilised" men (in your words the "weak" guys) every human has one or more primal instincts still slumbering in them. They need to be unleashed every once in a while and usually sex (or in many cases sports) is the best way to do it. But even sex has grown "civilised" and thus boring to some in our nice and correct culture. So the need to break out is only natural. And what better way to break out than overstepping boundaries set by society?
Rape fantasy - for men and women - on the other hand is the ultimate referral to primal ways. The man takes the woman he wants, the woman is taken if she wants to be or not.

Modern woman have to do (and want to do) everything by themselves. We usually carry more responsibility, have to work harder, be better just to keep our status as "equals". Men - at least most men - are neither used to that nor do they feel comfortable about such women.
Don't ask me how many men I have intimidated just by being more intelligent, more successful, etc. ...
So women can let go off that intimidation and social struggle by fantasising about being raped by "real" men instead of being bored by the modern man. To men it works the exact opposite way. In rape fantasies there are no more moral or social rules to live by, no more pretending to be a nice guy, no more bowing to modern day society. They can just let go and finally have their way with women again. Power is given back to them, power over women.
It is completely understandable men fantasise about raping women. After all being nice and timid and quiet all the time is not in their nature.
Of course we can't forget the trouble many men have with strong and powerful women. A man's ego is much more fragile when it comes to such women than a woman's is the other way around. So I can completely understand the "stress" a man may experience when dealing with such women (like me ) all the time. So - catering to their egos - we let them rape us every now and then to make them feel better.

Those are the "healthy" reason from my point of view. I am not talking about men who experience real rape fantasies, actually wanting to rape a woman.

Do I like intelligent men? Educated, well-mannered? Cultured and sweet?
Yes, definitely!
But I want a man who has those qualities because he feels right about them, by his own choice - also capable of letting go of them when it is required.

Of course it is a hard thing for many women having rape fantasies to admit to it. No woman in her right mind wants to be raped for real. So it is only natural to feel somewhat ... disturbed or maybe confused ... by fantasising about something you don't want to happen for real but it still gives you sexual pleasure.

[ego]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

It is natural to want the strongest man. Even in nature you see this. Two males fight each other and the winner claims the female. Women want a fighter. This also leaks into sexual desire. It is natural for women to want the dominant male, it is also expected that he be dominant in other aspects such as sexual behavior, such as being pushed up against a wall or held down, all dominant behavior.



however, I do have trouble figuring out why men fantasize about rape. I believe its to be one of three things: You are rejected alot by women and are pissed off at woman, You want to feel powerful, or you are a sadist (in the latter, my dream man ). Opinions are welcomed

Your reasoning is reasonable, but what about men who felt the desire to overpower or tie down women (and women only) at the age of 8 for example?
Actually, you give the answer to your question in the beginning of your post. You are attracted by alpha males. Dominant ones. Now, there is a common characteristic (among others) in dominant males: They wont take "no" for answer!
A dominant male wants the things happen to his way not because others accept that this is the right way, but because he can enforce his way. If all the time the woman says "yes", he is enforcing nothing. And thats why you say "no" in our fantasy!

[Sierra]

I think the "been rejected too often" theory might come into play with a real rapist, but I'm not sure rape fantasies stem from that. I have met dozens of men with more than a passing interest in fantasy rape both IRL and online - only a few of these guys were real losers. (There's bound to be a few in every group.)

I don't wonder why men have rape fantasies. My curiosity is for men who don't. Are they so secure in themselves that they don't feel the need? Are they so conceited that they don't want to have to work for it? Or are they so weak that they don't think they could master a woman sexually?

[Rogue]

I'd go as far as to say practically all women have had a rape fantasy at some stage in their lives. Maybe not always the standard fantasy we generally love here, but at least some form of force and dominance, even by complete strangers. The only reason we can't prove it is because it is not something most women are going to admit, because fantasizing about something you don't actually want to happen is too confusing for mainstream society at the moment. Though I did see it was placed second on a list of top 10 fantasies in a survey for an English program years ago.

Me personally, the ones a few years ago probably stemmed from fear of rejection, and this was a way I was certain to get what I want. No matter how beautiful, unavailable, no matter what I wanted to do to her, I could do it. Fortunately it had nothing to do with a hatred of women because I feel that is a sign of a potential real rapist. But following that, I've begun to realise the real reason is connected to my childhood, I've just always had a fascination with force of every kind, including the man being dominated.

[SecretObsession]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I think the "been rejected too often" theory might come into play with a real rapist, but I'm not sure rape fantasies stem from that. I have met dozens of men with more than a passing interest in fantasy rape both IRL and online - only a few of these guys were real losers. (There's bound to be a few in every group.)

I don't wonder why men have rape fantasies. My curiosity is for men who don't. Are they so secure in themselves that they don't feel the need? Are they so conceited that they don't want to have to work for it? Or are they so weak that they don't think they could master a woman sexually?

I've wondered this as well. Guys who only want vanilla. Maybe they're just repressed? I am extremely interested in hearing the male POV on this!

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by SecretObsession

I've wondered this as well. Guys who only want vanilla. Maybe they're just repressed? I am extremely interested in hearing the male POV on this!

Do we know anyone who doesn't have rape fantasies??? You won't find them in THIS crowd!

[FinalKey]

Originally Posted by SecretObsession

I've wondered this as well. Guys who only want vanilla. Maybe they're just repressed? I am extremely interested in hearing the male POV on this!

I really don't know, I don't talk about my fantasies with my male friends...at least not any that involve rape lol. Everything else we're open about but I've not disclosed the lil tidbit that we each have in common here.

[soulless]

I don't really think the male fascination is really that different from the female one in biological and psychological terms. Sexually, some submissiveness, weakness and innocence is seen as feminine and men are aroused by this and seek to take control to perpetuate the status quo. Men are also aroused by what they see and hear so putting women into positions that arouse them or causing them to cry out by forcible penetration will keep them excited.

I also tend to find that whilst quite a few women actually like 'a bit of rough' and desire to be penetrated harder or deeper, many of them are reluctant to admit it because it makes them feel slutty or guilty to actually ask. In a rape scenario, all that pressure is removed because the female is never given an opportunity to ask. She is able to enjoy the rougher sex without any guilt because she is powerless to stop the male and is forced into submission.

[christine]

Originally Posted by soulless

I also tend to find that whilst quite a few women actually like 'a bit of rough' and desire to be penetrated harder or deeper, many of them are reluctant to admit it because it makes them feel slutty or guilty to actually ask.

Yes that's surely so, but there is another point that I would like to add:
There is the feeling of shame and self-degradation too. It took me a very long time until I finally dared to tell about this shameful "dream" of me to my boyfriend. And when I told him, I felt so much shame, I coudn't stop crying.
It was as if I had asked him, not to treat me as an equal partner, but instead as a subordinated slave or an animal... a very degrading position... and I myself was asking for this... I thought, only a stupid slut can wish to be turned into a helpless sextoy... I felt really stupid...

[ego]

Originally Posted by SecretObsession

I've wondered this as well. Guys who only want vanilla.

Is there anyone who only wants vanilla?
Most of men who spoke their vices to me do not like rape fantasies, but they all had something to hide!

[SecretObsession]

Hmmmm... now I can't help wondering if we all have the same meaning of "vanilla"... Is threesome included? How about toys? What's your definition of "vanilla"?

[ego]

I dont have one. I guess "plain sex" fits good.
No, i wouldnt call threesome vanilla. Toys? Depends on their shape and size. Perhaps toys are "vanilla with some cherry flavor".

[Sierra]

Hmmmmmm

Vanilla sex to me is something nobody is embarassed to admit they like.

Usually this means one man, one woman, everybody moaning and groaning.

[Samantha45]

I have a rape fantasy, but not about me being raped, and not by a guy. I Fantisize about raping other females, especially virgins who dislike lesbians. However I never fantisize about a man raping me, or me raping a man.

[HYMENBUSTER]

well samantha what about woeking with a guy, after yuo get this poor virgin she is submitted not only to your abuse but to my thick hard deflowering member...

[itsraylene]

it doesn't all have to be about rape, though i treasure my rape victim side. but i also love that plain, feel-good sex and affection. i guess that's vanilla, isn't it? though in my case, "vanilla" should be "chocolate," 'cause i've got a thing for black guys!

raylene

Originally Posted by SecretObsession

What's your definition of "vanilla"?

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Samantha45

I have a rape fantasy, but not about me being raped, and not by a guy. I Fantisize about raping other females, especially virgins who dislike lesbians. However I never fantisize about a man raping me, or me raping a man.

ahh, I see. Are you a lesbian? I have these types of fantasies sometimes, but its not me doing the raping..and its usually not a virgin. Instead, I have this one where there is a lesbian who hates men and I invite her to my house and I have my boyfriend rape her. Thats always a fun one.