Message board for people who wish to roleplay and discuss rape fantasies. |
|
Welcome to the Rape Board - Free rape pictures and videos. |
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
Rape gallery | Incest gallery | Bestiality gallery | Gay sex gallery | Anime gallery | Scat gallery |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-10-2009, 03:40 AM | #61 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front. He was on a very crowded train, and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and she had her pet poodle on it.
He said, “Please, madam, I'm very tired. May I please sit here?†The lady replied, “No. My precious little poodle, Miss Fluffy, is sitting here.†The soldier walked the length of the train again with no luck, so he went back to the same seat next to the same woman and said, “Please, Madam, I have been fighting at the front for months, my feet hurt and I'm very tired. May I please sit here?†The woman told him, “I cannot believe how rude you are! I have already told you that my darling little Miss Fluffy is sitting here.†At that, the American lost his temper, picked up the poodle and threw it out the window. An elderly man who was sitting across the compartment looked at the American soldier and said, “You Americans do everything wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the wrong hand and now you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!â€
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-10-2009, 03:40 AM | #62 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows?
A milk sheik!
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-10-2009, 03:43 AM | #63 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ''To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.''
The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, ''Sorry, I can't do it.'' The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the room, and walks out. ''Sorry, I can't.'' he says. The last man enters the office and the interviewer yet again explains the test.' The man takes the gun and goes into the room. The Agent hears 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming. The man comes out of the room and says, ''Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!''
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-10-2009, 06:03 AM | #64 | |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 954
Reputation: 52291 |
Quote:
Good one |
|
10-10-2009, 08:42 PM | #65 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-12-2009, 09:27 AM | #66 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass by a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
The brunette sighs and says, "Oh damn, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason." The blonde looks quizzically at her and asks, "What`s wrong, don`t you like getting flowers?" The brunette replies, "Oh sure...but he always has expectations after buying me flowers, and I really don`t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde asks, "Don`t you have a vase?"
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-12-2009, 09:50 AM | #67 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Madam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "Oh my God, I left the baby on the bus again!"
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-12-2009, 09:11 PM | #68 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the door and standing there are two persons dressed in Klu Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he is dead. The Klansmen walk off. As they are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, "Hey, I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-12-2009, 09:15 PM | #69 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.
The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says, "OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says, "It feels like semen." The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says, "It smells like semen." The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this buildin ..."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-14-2009, 12:15 AM | #70 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
A Cardiologist died and they're having his funeral. The coffin was placed in front of a huge heart.
When the priest finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, then the heart closed. Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" The man replied "I was thinking about my own funeral" the first man asked... "What's so funny about that?" He responded... "I'm a gynecologist."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-14-2009, 02:31 AM | #71 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
I like these mate. +rep
__________________
You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
10-14-2009, 02:32 PM | #72 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Sarah, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar.
George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-14-2009, 02:36 PM | #73 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard". "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand"
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-14-2009, 02:46 PM | #74 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
It was Sam's last day on the job as a postman after 35 years of delivering the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route Sam was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope with a hundred dollar bill. At the second house the owners presented him with a box of fine Cuban cigars. The folks at the third house, knowing he was an avid fisherman, handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house Sam was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blond woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, beckoning him as she was closing the door behind them, then leading him up the stairs to the bedroom where they both took part in the most passionate love making they had ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs where she then fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshsqueezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup`s bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what`s the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, "Screw him. Give him a dollar." The breakfast was my idea."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-14-2009, 03:27 PM | #75 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 133
Reputation: 17279 |
Where do you come up with all of these!!
|
10-15-2009, 12:30 AM | #76 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
On their 50th wedding anniversary an old couple decide to spice up their sex life with a KamaSutra handbook they picked up at a local News Agency.
They looked astonishingly at the various positions contained therein. One in particular showed a couple seated opposite one another, naked and with their legs spread apart. The man was to try to roll marbles between the woman’s legs and she was to try to throw plastic hoop-la-hoops around his private. The old woman and man smiled at one another, "This is it!" they giggled. The old man said "Ok.. I'll go get the bowling ball." The old woman said, "Ok.. I'll take off my wedding ring."
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-15-2009, 01:51 PM | #77 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
A blond and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blond bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, “I'll take that bet!†Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blond gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said, “I can't take this, you're my friend. I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money.†The blond replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!â€
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-16-2009, 01:45 AM | #78 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-16-2009, 01:49 AM | #79 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
Texan's guide to life Never squat with yer spurs on. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Always drink upstream from the herd. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
10-16-2009, 02:00 AM | #80 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Land of shadows
Posts: 416
Reputation: 24381 |
How to speak Southern WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALK BECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNER How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson Aig - What a hen lays Aints - He's got aints in his paints Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin Arn - Ma's tard of arnin Bag - He bagged her to marry him Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won. Bub - the light bub burned out Cheer - What you set in Crick - A small stream Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon Chiny - country over in Asia Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes Core - He got hisself a new Ford core Cyow - Animal on Farm Deppity - He helps out the shurf Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt Dainz - Satidy night social Ellum - A graceful tree Fanger - What you put your rang on Faince - Whats round the hawg lot Far - What get the brandin arn hot Furred - He got furred from his job Flar - A rose is a purdy flar Frash - Them aigs ain't frash Furiners - All non-'bamans Further - Hits ten miles further to town Grain - She was grain with envy Hail - Where bad folks go Hep - Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Hern - It aint hern, it's his'n Hilbilly - People in the next county Hollar - Whats between the hills Hard - Got a brend new hard hand Tar - His core blew a tar Laymun - A sour fruit Laig - Most folks have two of them Lather - What you climb up Liberry - Where you go to check out books for larnin Mailk - what you get from cyows Mere - What you see your self in Minners - Live bait Misrus - Married Woman Nar - Opposite of wide Nayk - Your head sets on it Nup - No Orrel - Them hinges need orrel Ormy - What the sojers go in Pank - A light red color Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow Petition - What separate the rooms Poke - A paper bag or sack Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in Poke Salit - A green vegetable Puppet - What the preacher is in Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig Rang - You wear it on your fanger Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town Rainch - A big cow farm Rat - Do it rat now! Rench - Rench the soap yourself Roont - She plum roont her shoes Salary - A stringy vegetable Soardeens - Small canned fish Shar - A light rain Gully Worsher - A medium heavy rain Toad strangler - A heavy rain Sody Pop - A soft drink Sprang - Water out'n the ground Shurf - The Shurf put Clem in jail Storch - This here aprn has to much storch in it Skeered - that plumb skeered me to death Thanks - He shore thanks he's smart Tho - Tho me the ball Thoat - I shore got a sore thoat War - A bobbed war fance Worsh - Go worsh your face Warter - What you worsh your face in Yurp - A continent overseas
__________________
VENI VIDI VICI. Please Visit my Threads. Ethnic Rape : Indian, Asian and western mainstream Knightlover001 Jokes Collection Story : The Lace of Lust ENJOY. |
|
|