Fantasy, Masturbation, and Frustration - Rape Board

ravenbright · 11-24-2008, 03:28 PM

I'm still pretty new to the board and a bit of a lurker I guess, but I've been having this problem lately and wondered if I'm the only one?

First it's the fantasy: Getting caught in an unusually vulnerable situation and being taken advantage of. Maybe I forgot to lock my door and my roommates went out with some friends, maybe I went hiking and got seperated from the group, or perhaps I just decided to take one risk too many and ended up in a bad/abandoned/isolated part of town just as my truck breaks down. Either way it all adds up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or rather the right time for my attacker.

Fantasy for most people tends to lead to the relief of said fantasy, masturbating. But I've never been very good at this. Don't ask me why but I find it very hard to masturbate with the goal of getting off and then actually succeeding. I've never had much success with it in the past and I've gotten very bored with even trying. It usually doesn't even excite me to be honest. The few times I have succeeded the orgasms were sub-par and I'm still horny as hell which leaves me very frustrated.

Which brings me to my last point. With out someone else to actually have sex with my fantasies end up being more frustration than anything else. Not that that's the case all the time(I'm actually highly orgasmic, I just need to be with someone else to achieve it), but for the last couple of months that has certainly rung true for me. It doesn't exactly help that I've even made plans to fly out to meet someone for relief not once, but twice! And each time he's had to cancel because of work!

Very frustrated indeed.

After all this it just makes me want to stop even reading stories online or talk about rape at all.

So here's my question: Does the fantasy ever become such an intense frustration for you, that you eventually start to ignore it and the thought of sex altogether?

Cedar · 11-25-2008, 08:30 AM

Does the fantasy ever become such an intense frustration for you, that you eventually start to ignore it and the thought of sex altogether?

Speaking for myself only, no. In my case it's sort of the opposite. I did once "play-act" a rape scene with my then-girlfriend, but found that I actually didn't enjoy it much. Best to keep fantasies and actual sex with actual partners completely separate.

This does sound like a frustrating problem. Is it just that the physical sensation is unsatisfying? If so, then perhaps it's just a matter of learning better technique. Is it that it feels meaningless without a real partner? In that case, at the risk of sounding obvious, all you can really do is try to find one. Preferably one who lives near enough that planning flights isn't an issue.

But don't give up on the fantasies.

shysnale · 11-25-2008, 10:03 AM

Have you ever thought of listening to one particular kind of music when you have a partner so maybe listening to the same music while masturbating alone could help you find pleasure ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenbright

I'm still pretty new to the board and a bit of a lurker I guess, but I've been having this problem lately and wondered if I'm the only one?

First it's the fantasy: Getting caught in an unusually vulnerable situation and being taken advantage of. Maybe I forgot to lock my door and my roommates went out with some friends, maybe I went hiking and got seperated from the group, or perhaps I just decided to take one risk too many and ended up in a bad/abandoned/isolated part of town just as my truck breaks down. Either way it all adds up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or rather the right time for my attacker.

Fantasy for most people tends to lead to the relief of said fantasy, masturbating. But I've never been very good at this. Don't ask me why but I find it very hard to masturbate with the goal of getting off and then actually succeeding. I've never had much success with it in the past and I've gotten very bored with even trying. It usually doesn't even excite me to be honest. The few times I have succeeded the orgasms were sub-par and I'm still horny as hell which leaves me very frustrated.

Which brings me to my last point. With out someone else to actually have sex with my fantasies end up being more frustration than anything else. Not that that's the case all the time(I'm actually highly orgasmic, I just need to be with someone else to achieve it), but for the last couple of months that has certainly rung true for me. It doesn't exactly help that I've even made plans to fly out to meet someone for relief not once, but twice! And each time he's had to cancel because of work!

Very frustrated indeed.

After all this it just makes me want to stop even reading stories online or talk about rape at all.

So here's my question: Does the fantasy ever become such an intense frustration for you, that you eventually start to ignore it and the thought of sex altogether?

l

GeorgeDaBrute · 11-29-2008, 05:47 AM

No I don't think so.

For myself the fantasy possesses almost a life of it's own beyond sexual. Because let's face it, this particular fantasy isn't just about the sex, it's about the control , it's about stepping out of bounds, it's about alot of things and only one of those many things is the sex itself.

11-24-2008, 03:28 PM	#1
ravenbright Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 14 Reputation: 243	Fantasy, Masturbation, and Frustration I'm still pretty new to the board and a bit of a lurker I guess, but I've been having this problem lately and wondered if I'm the only one? First it's the fantasy: Getting caught in an unusually vulnerable situation and being taken advantage of. Maybe I forgot to lock my door and my roommates went out with some friends, maybe I went hiking and got seperated from the group, or perhaps I just decided to take one risk too many and ended up in a bad/abandoned/isolated part of town just as my truck breaks down. Either way it all adds up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or rather the right time for my attacker. Fantasy for most people tends to lead to the relief of said fantasy, masturbating. But I've never been very good at this. Don't ask me why but I find it very hard to masturbate with the goal of getting off and then actually succeeding. I've never had much success with it in the past and I've gotten very bored with even trying. It usually doesn't even excite me to be honest. The few times I have succeeded the orgasms were sub-par and I'm still horny as hell which leaves me very frustrated. Which brings me to my last point. With out someone else to actually have sex with my fantasies end up being more frustration than anything else. Not that that's the case all the time(I'm actually highly orgasmic, I just need to be with someone else to achieve it), but for the last couple of months that has certainly rung true for me. It doesn't exactly help that I've even made plans to fly out to meet someone for relief not once, but twice! And each time he's had to cancel because of work! Very frustrated indeed. After all this it just makes me want to stop even reading stories online or talk about rape at all. So here's my question: Does the fantasy ever become such an intense frustration for you, that you eventually start to ignore it and the thought of sex altogether?

11-25-2008, 08:30 AM	#2
Cedar Privileged Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: USA Posts: 226 Reputation: 5732	Does the fantasy ever become such an intense frustration for you, that you eventually start to ignore it and the thought of sex altogether? Speaking for myself only, no. In my case it's sort of the opposite. I did once "play-act" a rape scene with my then-girlfriend, but found that I actually didn't enjoy it much. Best to keep fantasies and actual sex with actual partners completely separate. This does sound like a frustrating problem. Is it just that the physical sensation is unsatisfying? If so, then perhaps it's just a matter of learning better technique. Is it that it feels meaningless without a real partner? In that case, at the risk of sounding obvious, all you can really do is try to find one. Preferably one who lives near enough that planning flights isn't an issue. But don't give up on the fantasies.

11-29-2008, 05:47 AM	#4
GeorgeDaBrute Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: North of Kansas City KS Posts: 426 Reputation: 2180	No I don't think so. For myself the fantasy possesses almost a life of it's own beyond sexual. Because let's face it, this particular fantasy isn't just about the sex, it's about the control , it's about stepping out of bounds, it's about alot of things and only one of those many things is the sex itself.