Would love to hear feedback (good or bad) on my first story!

[mysterious-sexism]

I wrote this story about a month back on another forum...but this one seems to get a lot more of a crowd...so I hope I'll get feedback. It's my first story...so I'm not sure whether it's that great (the ending...I think is kinda stuck on like a really bad M. Night Shyamalam movie), but whatev! Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer** Story is pure fiction, written for the purpose of fantasy. The writer does not condone, in any way, shape, or form, non-consensual intercourse in reality.

Rapist perspective

For everyone High School is a time of awkwardness. For me, it was even more awkward than usual. I had a pretty decent body and in later years, I would discover that my high cheek bones, my wavy brown hair, and my 6'1" height actually identified me as a "hot guy". But High School doesn't allow for self discovery. Instead, I was always the tall lanky guy who ended up just swaying from side to side at dances.

But there were two things that made me feel good. One was being a member of the tech crew for the local drama program. I personally had no desire to act myself, but enjoyed viewing the productions, and be involved with the hustle and bustle that goes into putting a show on the stage. And I loved the light box. The way it was secluded above everyone, where noone could see you, but you could see everyone.

It's there that I met my high school obsession. Rose. Rose was a gourgeous 5'7'' half-Brazilian girl. Every guy was crazy about her. If she just walked into the room, every guy got a hard-on, and every girl licked her lips. She had firm, average sized breasts, a nice hour-glass shaped body. Her neck was long, and her lips were always wet and tempting. And her eyes, a grayish-green heirloom from her European side, was startling enough to make any guy fall in love. She was overall, beautiful. And she knew it. She did not hesitate to flaunt, tease, or crush guys' hearts.

Rose was an actress, a dancer, and musician all combined. But since many of the performing arts schools wanted students with diverse backgrounds, she was stuck doing Lights Crew under me during the production of Tempest. Her reasoning? I knew and did everything. An easy, bull shit way to get technical experience, while not actually doing anything.

It was tech week and we had just finished up most of our work for the afternoon. Everyone had left for Dinner for the next two hours. I, the loner, was planning on finishing some homework and then eating dinner in the light box over the theater.

As I sat at the desk, I looked back at Rose, who was sitting on the large sofa in the back of the dark, small room. She was yapping on the phone with her friends who were out at dinner. She had taken to eating dinner in the light box with me since there was only one key. I wouldn't trust her with it, and she didn't like the thought of having to wait for me to come back if I left for anywhere. I wasn't going to make a duplicate, and although I offered my phone number if she needed to get in after she went out to dinner, she didn't take it.

Not that I minded. I enjoyed seeing her splayed on the sofa. Every time she laughed, I saw her tight ass, squeeze and shake. I imagine myself sliding myself over her back, and feel the warmth of those cheeks right against my crotch. And every time she laughed, I longer for her teeth to unzip my zipper, while she pulled out my hard...

"So do you have a girlfriend?" Rose asked.

I had no clue who she was talking to, but when I turned in my chair, she was off of the phone and looking straight at me, with those innocent yet mischievous eyes.

"Ummm...no..." I said.

"Well do you like someone?" she asked.

"Uhhh...not really..." I was such an idiot. Here was my chance to have a conversation with Rose after months of silence in the light box while my heart throbbed and I'm giving two word answers. "Haha...I don't usually try to get many girls."

"And why is that?"

I should have realized that this was a trap. But I was so moved by her openness. "I don't know...I'm shy."

"Well...that's not going to get you very far is it?" She moved back to her chair at the light board next to me. "I mean, guys like you are never going to be more than friends, if you keep on doing that. You need to chase a little. I mean, I'm not saying that any girl is going to go for you if you change. I mean, there's a lot of things that you've gotta about yourself before some girl even thinks you're attractive. But cutting this whole shy stuff will help."

That's it. Rose had probably been pissed about something. She had a history of tearing people down when she was in a bad mood. And the worst part? She did it so casually and nonchalantly. As if she was a psychiatrist diagnosing my problem. My personality faults. I was pissed.

"I'm going to go get dinner. I forgot to pack tonight." I lied through clenched teeth.

"You're not mad are you? I was just being honest." Rose said.

I mustered a smile. "Nahh...you're right. I wasn't cut out for this high school dating scene anyway."

Rose smiled. "That's good to hear....wait. If you leave, and I need to go to the bathroom, how will I get back in?"

I sighed. "I'll leave the keys in the door. Just grab them later and make sure you don't lose them."

I walked outside. Rose could be such a Bitch sometimes. It made me so angry to think about how she must be gloating up in that booth at having torn another guy to pieces. But it only made me want her more. The fact that she was unattainable. I took a deep breath of air and started walking towards the strip mall down the street. The freezing winter air cooled my head a little, but under my jeans, I was steaming. I looked at my watch. An hour and forty-five minutes...so much time before the actors started dribbling back slowly.

Rose needed some guy to break her heart. I wished I could be the totally hot guy who walked over her, the way she walked over so many guys. She just needed to be taught a lesson.

A crazy thought started flowing through my head. It started off as a tingle, but then it grew into a maniac possibility. I had the time. I had the equipment. I could totally pull it off. I could be the one to teach Rose a lesson.

Before I knew it, I was backtracking...running...back to the theater. Once there, I went into the bathroom and changed into my black slacks and black top, I kept the mask over my face, with holes for my eyes and mouth...a homemade protection against the New England cold.

I slipped back into the theater. Everything needed to be planned carefully. I walked back stage and dimmed the lights far down. To most people, they would be blind walking through this darkness. However, since I was used to pitch black theaters, I could still make my way. I moved along to the back of the theater. The keys were still hanging in the door to the light booth. I pulled the door shut and locked it behind me slowly, noone was going to interrupt this. I half expecting Rose to hear and call out my name.

My breath was heavy, and I was sweating from my run back. The smell of my deodorant seemed to fill the staircase. The lightbox was dark too. I snuck up the stairs slowly and entered the light box. Was Rose there? Everything seemed dark. With no light within the box, and a very dim light glowing through the large window panels from the theater forty feety below, it was hard to see anything.

Then I saw her. She was leaning back in her chair, listening to music on her i-Pod. Her arm crossed her face as she rocked back and forth. I moved behind her. For a split second, I just hesitated. I could hear her breathing and see her ripe breasts moving up and down under her tight black t-shirt. I almost thought I wouldn't do it. And then something took over.

I lunged forward and covered her mouth and face. She immediately came to action and struggled against me. However, she could not resist against my muscular arms. She kept on thrashing though, her muffled cries under my arms. In a deep voice that I couldn't even recognize as my own I said. "Shut up Bitch. You're fucked anyway, so you might as well enjoy it."

With my free hand, I tore duck tape off the table and wrapped it around her eyes and head twice. "I'm not gonna cover your mouth...I want you to suck my cock off and I want you to scream when I'm slamming into your tight pussy."

Then using some rope from backstage I quickly tied her hands together. As I held her down in her chair, she was even more beautiful and helpless. Taking a hollow metal bar, I pushed it to the side of her head. "You're going to do what I tell you to or I'll blow your brains out." Even though it was just a small pipe, the cold metal against the side of her face, convinced her it was gun and silenced her. I picked her up, and threw her onto the sofa in the back of the room. Before she could get readjusted, I grabbed my boxcutter knife from the tools cabinet and jumped onto her.

I took the knife and pressed it against her face. The cold must have shocked her, because under my other hand, I could feel her nipples harden slightly. I moved the knife down and cut away at her black tshirt. She was wimpering and crying now.

"Shhhhh..." I said. " I don't wanna hurt you. I just wanna fuck you". I laughed a cruel laugh, and her sobs only got louder.

I grabbed her hair and brought her blindfolded face close to me. "I want you to cry. I want to hear how much it hurts when you feel my cock in your ass."

She didn't give me the satisfaction of a reply. I kissed her then. I held her face so she wouldn't turn away from me. I was first ferocious with the hunger of a beast. And then I slowed and became more tender. It would only be more of a punishment if she ended up liking this by the end. As I pulled back, she turned her head and started weeping. I laughed again and licked the side of her face. I wanted her to feel used completely. I was a wild wolf and she was my bitch tonight. Now to get back to her breasts.

With one long tear, her t-shirt split into two, hanging from her arms while concealing nothing. Her bra, a slinky thing that was partly see through, easily tore as well exposing her white skin to the air. I started licking at her tits and nibbling on them. Unnerved by the sensation and the slight pain, she tried lifting her chest and torso to fight me off. Instead, she only managed to raise her hips up towards my hips, and rubbed her sweet body against my rising hot rod that was smoldering under my pants.

"You whore. You want my prick already? You filthy cum sucking whore, I'll give you what you want."

(to be continued)

[mysterious-sexism]

I started unzipping. She must have heard the noise because she started begging.

"Please don't do it. I don't want that...Please"

Her begging only made me more horny. I leaned forward and started sucking roughly on her breasts while pinning her down with the weight of my body. I just wanted to eat her body alive. Her shivering sobs were causing her tits to shake softly, as if there was a vibrator deep inside of her.

I finished unzipping and pulled my cock out of its cage. The six inches and wide girth of my cock would have horrified her if she'd seen it. I had always known that I had been well endowed, and it ended up being a bit of embarrassment during middle school during gym when my "excitement" became obvious. But at this moment, I was savoring the thought of her taking my prick completely. She wasn't going to forget this evening any time soon.

I flipped her over onto her stomach. Her arms, now behind her back, spread her shoulders apart, squishing her luscious breasts deep into the cushions of the sofa. The rough texture of the mattress had made her ass cheeks red, as if someone had just slapped her. I grabbed them and squeezed, digging my fingers deep into her meaty behind.

She shouted. I slapped her cheeks as her punishment. The bitch wanted to get me into trouble!!!

I pushed her forward hard, so just her head was hanging off the side of the sofa. I went around and placed the metal pipe next to her lips.

"Do you know what this is?" she nodded. "I want you to suck me off good. And I want you to take all of my huge dick in my mouth and I want you to swallow all my cum. Now are you gonna open up like the whore you are, or would you rather suck my gun? Both ways, I'm gonna shoot off in your mouth...you choose which you want to do the shooting...my cock or my gun."

She seemed shaken up. She murmured. "Put your penis in my mouth..."

"I can't hear you???" I said starting to squeeze the metal pole in between her lips.

"PLEASE NO!!! LET ME SUCK YOU! DON'T KILL ME!!!"

"Don't mind if I do!" I replaced the pole with my dick and started pushing my way into her mouth. Her moist lips tightly pressed up against my huge pole felt so delicious. And her tongue...she swished it around in there, trying to find room as my cock pushed on inwards.

"Oh BITCH! This feels SO GOOD!" I grabbed the sides of her face, slapping them hard and turning her cheeks red. "I want to fuck your face hard!"

I started shoving my cock in and out of her mouth. Her breasts, now hanging off the side of the sofa were bouncing back and forth against the edge of the sofa.

"COME ON WHORE! Suck me the way your daddy taught you!" I kept holding onto her face, anchoring it back and forth quickly from my crotch. My hips were thrusting forward too leaving my balls slapping her in the chin.

She made grunting noises in between my thrusts. Her lips were now wet and sticky from my pre-cum. I kept throwing in a slap now and then just so she wouldn't forget that she was just my whore for the night. Just a cheap slut waiting to be fucked, cummed on, and then dumped.

The slapping wet sound of her lips around my rod and the muffled sounds of her cries was just too much.

"I'M GONNA CUM!!! AAA....AAAAA..AAAA....AAAAWWWW! TAKE IT YOU CUNT!!!

I felt the throb of my cum squirting deep into her throat. She was swallowing and trying to cry as well as tears slid down her face and mixed with the semen that slipped out from the sides of her lips.

"....<<hiccup>> Can I go home now?" Rose whined. Dumb girl. I had just had my appetizer and she wanted to leave already. I yanked her up by her hair.

"Without tasting that sweet pussy of yours? Come on! All the black guys in town say it's the tightest snatch around!"

"NOOO!!!" She started kicking again. My positioning near her head was very inconvenient to hold her down and she almost got up onto her feet. I got around and pushed her down onto the sofa. I unbuckled my belt and this time slid my pants all the way down to my feet. My dick was semi-flaccid and twitching back and forth. But not to worry, in time, it would be ready for action again.

I grabbed the metal pipe and slid it down into her black sweatpants. The cold metal made her yelp. She was loving this. I took my knife and slashed a hold the middle of her crotch, revealing her extremely wet panties below.

"Ooo...you're wet? Damn...I didn't think it was going to be this easy to turn you on. You like when guys rape you? Do you like to have lot of guys dump their junk into your pussy?"

"NO! PLEASE...I'm not ready...IT'LL HURT TOO MUCH!"

I continued forward, creating a hole in another layer of her panties, tearing her undergarments into two. The legs of her pants still wrapped around her legs, but now her pussy was exposed to the world. The shaved skin crowned the rosy pink lips of her dripping pussy that was now leaving a sticky stain on the sofa. And there, in the dim light, I noticed something that took me by surprise.

"Guess all those black guys lied. You were saving the cherry for me, weren't you you slut?"

<<to be continued>>

[mysterious-sexism]

..."No No! Please don't! You're too big! I can't handle that!..." She was screaming now. The lightbox had the great advantage of being completely soundproof. Even to hear what was going on onstage, and to communicate back and forth, we needed walkie-talkies and speakers. She could cry all she wanted, but noone was going to save her. She was trapped in my lair...this was my domain.

"I'm gonna tear you apart! Haha! You want my dick to stuff you don't you?" I took my semi-hard penis and started rubbing it against her lips. I slapped her clit with my cock as she cried out each time.

"Oh yeah. You want it don't you? Oh yeahh..."

I took my two fingers and started working my way through her snatch. I was very gentle. I wanted my prick to pop this cherry, not my fingers. The walls of her vag were getting moist with her juices. I could tell that she was yearning to let me in. AS she fought my left arm that held her body down, her thighs moved upwards, shoving my fingers deeper into her pussy. She was tight, barely able to handle my fingers. Her body, unable to control this sensation was squeezing at my fingers, and with each pulsating, shaking, squeeze, my cock got harder. Her breath was tattered, half in despair over what had already happened, and half in fear over what was going to happen.

I pulled out and licked my fingers. Her juices were salty and sweet...the taste of a young girls first pre-cum. She was ready for me. But I was in no hurry to finish up.

I placed the metal pole against her pussy lips and started working in and out. Her hymen stretched and stretched around it.

"OH MY GOD! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!"

She was making me angry. She had fucked over so many guys by keeping her pussy from them. The fucking tease. I was done with her games. She needed a rough fucking right now.

"OK...it's coming out. But I'm stuffing my huge cock in there next. I thought I'd get you ready for it with my gun, but I can tell how hungry you are for my meat."

She was devastated. She had her tied hands over her face while tears slid out from the sides of the duck tape. I was wondering what way I should fuck her. I could fuck her like a dog and ram into sweet pussy from behind. Or I could spread her legs right now and just pound into her missionary. So many choices. I grinned.

"How do you want me to fuck you bitch?" She wasn't answering. And I was already positioned above her, my cock reloaded and ready for a fucking.

I placed the head of my cock right at the opening of her pussy. The hole, obscured by her hymen, wasn't going to fit it. This was going to be messy...but hey it wasn't my mess to clean up. Bitch can clean up her own filth when I'm done with her.

I pushed about an inch in. "UUUUHHH...FUCK THIS IS TIGHT!"

She cried! "AHHHHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOO!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!"

I started fucking her in and out, the walls of her cunt were squeezing my penis incredibly. This was amazing. I was barely teasing her, my head was the only part in. She couldn't even handle this. It made me laugh...the slut was gonna be torn in two by my cock. God, she must have been dreaming about being fucked like this.

"I'm not even half way in yet, you hoe!" I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to know what a real man was like. I arched my back out, my ass tightening, and shoved in...all six inches into her tight snatch.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" She screamed, lifting her body up towards me in hopes of easing the pain. Her face had paled and her mouth was wide open after the scream, just croaking and unable to cry out any more.

"OHHHH YEAHHH! I reamed you really good, didn't I!" I looked down at my cock. There was speckles of blood all along the length of my pole. The cherry had been popped, she was now ready for the fucking.

"How's it like not being a virgin anymore?" I whispered into her ears.

"FUCK YOU!" she cried out.

"If you insist!" I started pounding away at her pussy. Each time I shoved my cock in, she let out an "oof", as if her body was unable to take all my meat and she needed to breathe out to make room for it. With every slam into her body, she shook. Her small frame was nothing compared to me. All she could do is let herself be used.

"Mmmm...." I buried my face in her tits and bit hard into the side of them. With every harsh nibble she tightened in her pussy. This was amazing.

Rose had given up on screaming and now was just covering her face with her tied hands. But somewhere deep inside her, I could tell she was getting excited. Every time my cock moved into her, there was a loud squish...and I knew that wasn't just that speckle of blood.

"You getting wet down there? You like my hard pole don't you! FUCK SLUT...YOU WANT YOUR HOLE TO GET PUMMELED!"

I lifted her legs over my shoulder, completely bending her small body in two and started ramming away.

"Uh...Uh...Uh..." I was grunting like a dog. I couldn't control myself...this was the best fuck ever. My balls were slapping against her ass and the dark hair on my chest had rubbed against her body turned it a red color...the color of her pussy lips.

I was getting mad. The bitch was enjoying this too much. This was supposed to be a punishment...not dessert. I pulled out and grabbed her waist and flung it off the sofa. I bent her over the side so her face was buried into the cushions but her ass was exposed to the air. Her pussy, dripping with her juices and a little bit of her blood, was calling to me to fuck her.

"You wanna be fucked, doggy style" I grabbed her hair and lifted it up. "Doesn't really matter what you want, does it?" I pushed her head down again, placed myself, and started working in and out.

Her muffled sobs into the sofa were only interrupted by the screams when I pulled her hair back. "TAKE THAT!...AND THAT! AND THAT!" With each "that", I yanked at her head and rammed her pussy. This felt like heaven.

I noticed then that her ass cheeks were wide open revealing a clean shaved tight asshole. An evil thought crossed my mind. I had threatened before, but would I actually do it? Was that a little too cruel?

But I was no longer thinking with my head...This would be her final lesson. She would be used in every way possible...no other guy would be able to claim that. And I wasn't going to give her nothing. She didn't need prepping...she was gonna be fucked in her shit hole.

I pulled out and lifted myself off my knees and onto my feet. I grabbed my cock and started teasing at the entrance of her asshole. With my free hand, I shoved her face deep into the cushions. I could hear surprised cries of shock and anguish.

"If your pussy was that tight. I can only imagine what your ass tastes like. Ready for an ass reaming?" I didn't wait for an answer...I aimed and then shoved right on in...

<<to be continued>>

[mysterious-sexism]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Her shrill cries pierced the air. I almost came right then in her tight ass. I shoved her head down in the pillow.

"SHUT UP BITCH...TAKE MY COCK...COME ON TAKE IT...TAKE IT...TAKE IT IN YOUR FILTHY ASSHOLE" The feeling was incredible...I had never fucked a girl in the ass before, and this was the best...it was tighter than tight.

I grabbed her hips so I could bang her with more leverage. "Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!" There was sweat dripping down my chest now, dripping onto her back. It was so animal like fucking her like this...there was nothing even human about it.

With my free hand, I reached back and grabbed my metal pole and shoved it in her pussy, still wide open and dripping.

"OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOOODDDDDDD!!" With a small burst, she started leaking juice all over my hand. The bitch had just came. She wanted it. "What did you make me do!??" She cried.

"Haha...I just did what you wanted me to do." I said wiping her own juiced all over her back. I kept ramming away at her ass, the sloppy sounds of me pumping in and out.

I felt the heat rising inside. It was boiling up from the pits of my balls. I only sped up faster...needing to go deeper, needing to be faster. I grabbed her ass then with my fingers and pulled her up close into my crotch and began to orgasm.

"Uh! Uh! YEAH! YEAH! FUCKKK! I"M GONNA COME IN YOUR FUCKING ASS! OH YEAH...COME ON...ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

With a gurgled yell, I collapsed onto her back and felt myself empty into her ass. Every drop of my cum was filling her up right now. My cock softened and slipped out. For a second, her ass remained wide open...still searching for more meat...then it closed, dripping out a wet, sticky, cum mess.

She looked terrible. I stood up to see my handiwork. Her pant legs were still on, bulged up her knees and ankles. Her ass was dripping with cum into her wet and red pussy and dripping to the floor. All over her, there were hand prints from my spankings. Her hair was disheveled, and her face, turned to the side, still had cum marks from my first violation. I stood up. Noone was going to want this whore anymore. I pulled out my dick and started peeing onto her back. She didn't try to fight any more, she had no energy. I pulled up my pants and gave her one more slap. I started down the stairs, remembering to place the keys back into the lock the way I had found them. As I left, I thought I heard some sobs and the sound of duck tape being torn off of skin.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, I arrived back at the theatre. The passion was gone, and now there was worry. What if she had recognized my voice? What if she had called the cops? I returned to the booth and started walking up the stairs. I expected to see Rose, still the way I had left her. Instead, I saw Rose, wearing a new blacks outfit, makeup reapplied, she was listening to her iPod when I walked in

"Hey...you grab dinner?" I asked, a faint tremble in my voice. I coughed...as if I was just coming down with something.

Rose, looked up, and somewhere in her eyes, I saw a glint of excitement. She looked straight ahead and smiled. "Yeah...I had an awesome dinner. Probably best dinner in awhile."

My heart stopped. What was she talking about. "Your salads? Are they that good?" I asked.

She picked up the lights manual and said, "No...I had meat tonight. I've got to get me another taste of that." She looked back at me yearningly. She had no idea I had done that, but she wanted me to use her too. She turned around and faced the dark auditorium below us.

I looked at my watch. Still another forty-five minutes until the actors showed up. I started unzipping again...and reached for the duck tape.

[TZOFOSHO]

Wow, great story, didn't personally like that she liked it in the end, but well written story, lots of details, i enjoyed it, thanks.

[mysterious-sexism]

Originally Posted by TZOFOSHO

Wow, great story, didn't personally like that she liked it in the end, but well written story, lots of details, i enjoyed it, thanks.

Thank you!

Yeah...it hought that that would be the falling point..

[theman]

Entirely unrealistic ending, but entertaining none the less.


I liked the story overall. Much, much, much better than my first story was.


There were a few things that struck me as odd though.... I don't know how wide the rapist's dick was, but 6 inches isn't very long in the big scheme of things. I think the average is around 6.


"...take all of my huge dick in my mouth..."



Also, the lightbox area was soundproof, but earlier in the story, she screamed and he worried about being caught.


I also doubt someone in highschool would still have a visible cherry.... But who knows on that one.



Anyway, liked the story ;o. Hope ya write more.

[tnthong]

Thank you, enjoyed it very much

[doggystylethatgirl]

hey - Im in there - doggy !! style that is


Gr8 story !!

I just now arrived in the story section for the second time ever, & found an erotic fuck story.Rape/sodomy turned into loving hot anal !

LOVED THE STORY ! THANKS FOR SHARING IT.

[Jasmine]

Great Story! Although, I am not one that likes it when she likes it.

[ard123]

Great kinky story dude!!! Especially the way you raped her -then went about business as usual as if nothing had happened!

[mysterious-sexism]

That's true there are some bloopers...however the six inches wasn't.

LOL...I'm a nurse and I've put in so many catheters in my life. I know what an average penis size is.

Originally Posted by theman

Entirely unrealistic ending, but entertaining none the less.


I liked the story overall. Much, much, much better than my first story was.


There were a few things that struck me as odd though.... I don't know how wide the rapist's dick was, but 6 inches isn't very long in the big scheme of things. I think the average is around 6.


"...take all of my huge dick in my mouth..."



Also, the lightbox area was soundproof, but earlier in the story, she screamed and he worried about being caught.


I also doubt someone in highschool would still have a visible cherry.... But who knows on that one.



Anyway, liked the story ;o. Hope ya write more.