A recent fantasy...

[star67]

I wouldn't have thought of rape RP before i came to this board...
anyway, a recent fantasy i've been having involves just that. i set it up an RP with a guy i barely know for a particular night, we go over the rules, i tell him clearly that i'm not into anal (which is true), we have a safeword etc...

so it's all going well. he has me on my stomach on the bed a la irreversible... his hand over my mouth, my hands bent behind my back. then i feel him push his dick towards my ass... i realise what is happening, struggle hard but he is much stronger and i am in uncomfortable position already... i can't say anything because his big hand is over my mouth... can't do anything but pointlessly flail and scream against my 'gag'

the whole time he's fucking me, he whispers into my ear that this is what i really wanted, that this is what i asked for - none of that fake bullshit, etc... and i know no one will believe me if i try to tell the police.

weirdly enough that started as a 'consensual' fantasy...

can anyone else relate to that? not sexy at all? what are your recent fantasies?

[AtomicGarbage]

I wouldn't say that's very different from a regular fantasy, except that it takes place in the context of another fantasy. Sort of a meta-rape, if you will. I also somehow feel like it would be difficult to arrange. One might even have to go as far as setting a false safeword and a real safeword.

[ChiTownHoney]

Thats a very interesting fantasy. Its like you roleplay yet its still not safe, you know? Which is basically what its about I think. I would never meet anyone online for rape roleplay, but I do have a fantasy where I meet this guy online and we are both into the rape stuff and we discuss our fantasies in detail and he is so dirty and evil and I love it. He sees my picture but I dont see what he looks like, and I make the mistake of telling him more about myself than I should, and he tracks me down and watches me, planning....

Then one night I go out to a bar, and he follows me and when I sit down to order a drink, he approaches me and makes friendly talk and we talk for a bit and I think, wow, what a nice guy! I have no idea this nice guy is really the menacing rapist that I have been talking dirty to online for months. Then he asks me out on a date and I say yes. The night of our date he is a complete gentlemen and I would never suspect that this is the guy. Sometimes in my fantasy we go a couple more dates untill he reveals himself. Well, after a date, he drops me off at my apartment, he walks me to my door and just when I think I'm about to say goodbye and close the door, he pushes me inside and slams the door shut and locks it. I scream and he pins me to the wall and whispers in my ear that he knows what I want because I have been telling him all this online and he proceeds to tell me parts of our conversations, and I realize its him and pushes me onto my kitchen table and forces his big strong body over me, all I can do is struggle and whimper, scared and shocked, but its everything I ever wanted.

So really in my fantasy I enjoy it, so yeah its different, but thought I would share

[star67]

Originally Posted by AtomicGarbage

Sort of a meta-rape, if you will

lol. well, fair enough... i wouldn't want to set it up though... the point is that it's totally against my will. in a safe environment it just wouldn't be as sexy i don't think.

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Thats a very interesting fantasy. Its like you roleplay yet its still not safe, you know?

So really in my fantasy I enjoy it, so yeah its different, but thought I would share

that's definitely it... taking something 'safe' and having it turn out to be dangerous. it just popped into my head because i guess consensual stuff just isn't very interesting to me for long, but it was very potent.

thanks for sharing your fantasy!

so you enjoy it in the end? is it consensual on the man's part or is he actually raping you? sorry just want to clarify before i comment anymore...

[ChiTownHoney]

Thats true. consensual stuff, even rape roleplay, can probably seem 'normal' after a while and lose its appeal. Its the taboo aspect that excites us, the danger and the not knowing what can happen next.

In my fantasy, we dont discuss roleplay or 'safewords'. We just talk about our rape thoughts and he 'rapes' me, even though I like it, but he knows I want it...but nothing was discussed, so its kinda a middle line between real rape and roleplay. It has all the essentials of real rape but none of the negative consequences. I think thats what I would like in real life. I hate the idea of pre-planning and 'safe words'. It had no appeal for me, because its way too safe and tame.

I like the idea that it would be consensual on my part but non-consensual on his part. Where he thinks he is really raping, but I know its what I want. I have thought about these scenarios alot and wondered if it would ever come true in real life. Maybe I dont want it to come true, but maybe I do? I guess I wont know untill it happens (if it happens). Its always been a thirst for me, but maybe it wont happen, so maybe thats a good thing, I dont know.

[star67]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I like the idea that it would be consensual on my part but non-consensual on his part.

I see. Interesting. In my mind it's non-con for both parties. I mean obviously I want it in a way or I wouldn't be thinking about it but yeah, definitely not in the fantasy. It's cool to see what does it for different people.

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Its always been a thirst for me, but maybe it wont happen, so maybe thats a good thing, I dont know.

I've been thinking about this more recently, spurred on by your posts. The line between fantasy and reality... Crossing it... whether you'd come out on the other side better or worse off...

[coloradoman27]

I've actually had discussions with a woman online of things very similar... she is into the roleplay, but has explicitly told me if anything were to happen to ignore the safeword, no matter what.

I think it's a matter that you need to know in the back of your mind that this person will not do more harm then "raping" you, and that you ultimately want it to happen, and you trust the person, which makes the difference. It creates, I think, a very gray area where it's not entirely roleplay, but not entirely rape either.

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Maybe I dont want it to come true, but maybe I do? I guess I wont know untill it happens (if it happens). Its always been a thirst for me, but maybe it wont happen, so maybe thats a good thing, I dont know.

You may find the answer to your questions by going to dedicated places. I mean kind of places with a dark maze having many doors opening on video cabins or bed cabins. It is safe because there is always the owner nearby and if someone goes too far, all you have to do is scream. I had a similar experience, I did narrate it in a post but I guess it's been lost in the last crash. It was a place like what I've described above and these three guys were following me and kind of blocked me in a corner. I just had to say 'rape me' and I'm pretty sure my fantasy would have become true. Only problem : I am not gay. I found out the people in that kind of places (I've tried 3 or 4 of them in my town) are mostly men.

[older and wiser]

Interesting fantasy, however can be very fraught with dangers ignoring safewords if you are rp'ing for real, and leave you on very thin ice as the 'perp' in that you may actually commit rape, rather than just forced sex

[ChiTownHoney]

Doesnt fantasy come from real life though? I dont think of it too much as just "fantasy" for myself because I think about what it would be like for real and wonder if I would like it etc. Probably not because most women dont get to choose their rapists. But what if I'm out with a really hot guy and I'm attracted to him and he rapes me. Would I like it? I mean, obviously I am attracted to him and he takes the "being a slut" stigma away from me and makes me a "victim" instead. But the fact that I always thought danger was sexy would make it even more of a turn on. I dont know.

But what makes a fantasy? is it something you desire? Do you want it to come true? that what confuses me because half of me wants it to come true but in MY way, you know. Obviously I dont want to get gangbanged by a bunch of disgusting crackheads in an alley. So, does that make it just a fantasy for me or a want?

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by older and wiser

Interesting fantasy, however can be very fraught with dangers ignoring safewords if you are rp'ing for real, and leave you on very thin ice as the 'perp' in that you may actually commit rape, rather than just forced sex

Thats the whole allure of it for me.

[star67]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Doesnt fantasy come from real life though? I dont think of it too much as just "fantasy" for myself because I think about what it would be like for real and wonder if I would like it etc. Probably not because most women dont get to choose their rapists. But what if I'm out with a really hot guy and I'm attracted to him and he rapes me. Would I like it? I mean, obviously I am attracted to him and he takes the "being a slut" stigma away from me and makes me a "victim" instead. But the fact that I always thought danger was sexy would make it even more of a turn on. I dont know.

But what makes a fantasy? is it something you desire? Do you want it to come true? that what confuses me because half of me wants it to come true but in MY way, you know. Obviously I dont want to get gangbanged by a bunch of disgusting crackheads in an alley. So, does that make it just a fantasy for me or a want?

I'd say it's still a fantasy because you would want it to happen on very specific terms. Who says a fantasy has to be something that could never come true? I see exactly where you're coming from but I don't know if it's something I'd desire because, like you said, most of us don't get to choose our rapist.

If I could have it happen exactly like it does in my head, then yes, it becomes a want... But for me personally, it never could (due to the people in the fantasy or the feelings behind real rape, etc). We differ in that the people in my fantasies are people I would never date/sleep with consensually... so they're usually not hot.

I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with wanting it to happen for real, but you've just got to be safe. A hot guy who's willing to rape a woman is possibly willing to seriously harm her, you know?

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Doesnt fantasy come from real life though? I dont think of it too much as just "fantasy" for myself because I think about what it would be like for real and wonder if I would like it etc. Probably not because most women dont get to choose their rapists. But what if I'm out with a really hot guy and I'm attracted to him and he rapes me. Would I like it? I mean, obviously I am attracted to him and he takes the "being a slut" stigma away from me and makes me a "victim" instead. But the fact that I always thought danger was sexy would make it even more of a turn on. I dont know.

But what makes a fantasy? is it something you desire? Do you want it to come true? that what confuses me because half of me wants it to come true but in MY way, you know. Obviously I dont want to get gangbanged by a bunch of disgusting crackheads in an alley. So, does that make it just a fantasy for me or a want?

The danger is like a bet in a casino.
If it turns out fine, it has a therapy effect, but if it turns sour, it can bring even more confusion in your mind. I'm not sure the being a victim feeling will make you better than the being a slut feeling. Why would you be a slut ? You should try the 'compare medicine'. Go on some girls blogs, and see how many dicks their pussies had inside, and you will realize you really are not so bad at all. Anyway, as long as nobody proves me sex has to be handled in only one way, I do not look down at anyone fucking a lot or having a nasty reputation or whatever. Life has its own way to make people act against their original beliefs and as long as you don't know what they've been through, you can't judge them.

[CarnalKitty]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Doesnt fantasy come from real life though? I dont think of it too much as just "fantasy" for myself because I think about what it would be like for real and wonder if I would like it etc. Probably not because most women dont get to choose their rapists. But what if I'm out with a really hot guy and I'm attracted to him and he rapes me. Would I like it? I mean, obviously I am attracted to him and he takes the "being a slut" stigma away from me and makes me a "victim" instead. But the fact that I always thought danger was sexy would make it even more of a turn on. I dont know.

But what makes a fantasy? is it something you desire? Do you want it to come true? that what confuses me because half of me wants it to come true but in MY way, you know. Obviously I dont want to get gangbanged by a bunch of disgusting crackheads in an alley. So, does that make it just a fantasy for me or a want?

that is a very interesting point, and a very interesting question.
I struggle with this as well, im somewhat unique in the sense that, yes i act out rape play with many men online, but in my offline life i actually consider myself lez.

i dont even really keep male friends offline. a bit of a male phobia i guess.... but that brings up the question, what if it actually happened?

what if i actual was "taken" would i enjoy it despite my fear of men? would the fear actually make i better? do i actually want it or is in just in my fantasies?

i dont normally talk about things this deeply, especially on an such open forum so im not sure why i am now. My fantasies and fear but come from a very dark and confusing time in my life so thats probly why im so messed up but i gues its just something to thing about...

all and all this forum has been helpful, for me in digging deep and learning about my true feelings on all this, i hope my post didnt go to far or take the convo someplace i shouldn't have but thats my two cents

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by star67

I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with wanting it to happen for real, but you've just got to be safe. A hot guy who's willing to rape a woman is possibly willing to seriously harm her, you know?

Thats the thing! It really turns me on and I find that so disturbing! Like if theres a guy that my friends warn me to stay away from, I want to be near him. I've met alot of men who were the sweetest guys, but I would hear stories about them, people saying that they did this and that, or put a guy in the hospital, or were physically dangerous dudes, and it just turns me on sooo much! it is not just a phase either, you know, like a bad boy phase. I am 26 years old right now, and I've had the fetish for dangerous men since I was 12. In Jr. High I would fantasize about men doing bad things or beating people up and it never went away. I just love to see the aggressive side of men.

Doesnt surprise anyone why I am so into combat sports now huh?

I mean, I'm not saying that I am looking to go get killed. Of course not. Its just the danger aspect to me that is so intriquing. I am deeply disturbed by it and its a wonder nothing has ever happened to me.

[star67]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I am 26 years old right now, and I've had the fetish for dangerous men since I was 12. In Jr. High I would fantasize about men doing bad things or beating people up and it never went away. I just love to see the aggressive side of men.

I am deeply disturbed by it and its a wonder nothing has ever happened to me.

I just wanted to quote that and agree... Even the age-range. I still think about guys beating people up

Maybe you're tough in real life? I don't know if you've ever been a 'victim' before but I think it changes the 'vibes' we give off which makes you less likely to be a victim in the future. If that makes any sense?

We can hide a lot of stuff in our heads... I'm sure people would look at me in the streets and never, ever know what kind of messed up shit I'm thinking about. Which kind of sucks if you want something to happen!

[ChiTownHoney]

I dont know if I give off a "dont mess with me" vibe...I think i've maybe just been lucky, thats all.

I know exactly what you mean about appearance meaning nothing. If anyone knew what I was into, they would totally freak, and I look nothing like someone who would be into that freaky shit.

Same goes with those guys I was mentioning. There could be a guy who is tat'ed up, and has a mean, menacing "I just shanked someone" look, but be sweet guys who never even hit anyone in there lives. And there can be those clean cut, mama boy looking men who are serial rapists. You never know.

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Thats a very interesting fantasy. Its like you roleplay yet its still not safe, you know? Which is basically what its about I think. I would never meet anyone online for rape roleplay, but I do have a fantasy where I meet this guy online and we are both into the rape stuff and we discuss our fantasies in detail and he is so dirty and evil and I love it. He sees my picture but I dont see what he looks like, and I make the mistake of telling him more about myself than I should, and he tracks me down and watches me, planning....

Then one night I go out to a bar, and he follows me and when I sit down to order a drink, he approaches me and makes friendly talk and we talk for a bit and I think, wow, what a nice guy! I have no idea this nice guy is really the menacing rapist that I have been talking dirty to online for months. Then he asks me out on a date and I say yes. The night of our date he is a complete gentlemen and I would never suspect that this is the guy. Sometimes in my fantasy we go a couple more dates untill he reveals himself. Well, after a date, he drops me off at my apartment, he walks me to my door and just when I think I'm about to say goodbye and close the door, he pushes me inside and slams the door shut and locks it. I scream and he pins me to the wall and whispers in my ear that he knows what I want because I have been telling him all this online and he proceeds to tell me parts of our conversations, and I realize its him and pushes me onto my kitchen table and forces his big strong body over me, all I can do is struggle and whimper, scared and shocked, but its everything I ever wanted.

So really in my fantasy I enjoy it, so yeah its different, but thought I would share

Wow Chi! I never got a fantasy like this...i'm impressed!

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

But what makes a fantasy?

The desire to fill something that did not properly blossom in yourself.
As you can't put your finger on that missing thing, your are aroused by any situations that give you a brighter view of what your teenage have been lacking. As you said in another post, danger is a very powerful feeling that opens many doors in your mind. A fantasizer is like a blind man trying to find his room in a 500 rooms hotel. Your fantasies are like unconscious investigations, you're like digging in the unknown until the day you understand what you were looking to fulfill. When you know the episode of your life that was properly digested all you have to do is to cheer it, find something to satisfy it and you're cured !

lol they call me Dr Escargot. No, there might be many many different definitions of what a fantasy is and many different ways to handle it. I just gave one at random, just because I like talking to you.