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01-31-2011, 04:34 AM | #1 |
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 12
Reputation: 273 |
asking for advice
Hey.
First of all a little bit of Information. Since as long as Im interested in Sex, im having the Fantasy of tying down a woman totally helpless and force my will on her - doing a lot of nasty, having absolute control. I roleplayed quite a bit, but mostly it has been quite soft bondagesex. It was good - quite terrific somethimes even, but not, what I wanted. Now I have a new Girlfriend. And she is, well, quite sexaddicted. She likes it rough, goes like a rocket if I do it the hard way, and damn it, she puts me over the edge. So far so good. Last night we talked about our fantasies and our wishes and I told her not without hesitation about my "rapethingy". And she is willing to try it, to say the truth, shes looking forward for our first experiment. But - now I am quite of afraid... Id really, really hate to hurt her in any way , especially hurt her emotional. (Im not talking about using the whip or something, I have no Problem with that, but Id really, really hate it if I would cause her harm - hope thats understandable). Now im asking for Your advice. Has anybody here a hint for me (us) how we can live out my Fantasy AND doing her satisfaction without causing harm?! I know everything about safewords and stuff but this Girl just makes me loosing my control, and I fear I will go to far! |
01-31-2011, 10:50 AM | #2 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Reputation: 2422 |
Just make sure you talk to her about both of your fantasies, and limits. Then make sure you respect her limits. RP can be the best sex, but it can also be terrible if your partner takes it to a level that you simply don't want.
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02-17-2011, 01:00 AM | #3 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posts: 306
Reputation: 1969 |
Start at the shallow end and work through a smaller fantasy you and she can share. Very few people start out climbing through a window on a random night, putting a knife to her throat, tying her up, cutting off her night clothes, and ravaging her every hole repeatedly before just leaving out the same window with her still tied.
We all usually started smaller with things like mild role playing or "rough sex." I really doubt you'll harm her emotionally unless you really do exceed her comfort zone by violating her trust. One of the little tricks we use when starting out is to decide on a safe word either you or she can use to stop the play if it gets too intense. I've also had a lot of success with a "less safe word" which if used means you're starting to go too far and should back it off just a tad. For instance she may love you slapping her on the face and choking on your cock, but spitting may be outside her comfort. Just remember the point is to PUSH the limits each of you bring to the table, not to violate them. So be respectful but treat her like the trash whore she is. It's almost impossible for you to "damage her" like you think. Women are fantastically resilient and strong. So push yourself as well. Risk a slap and wrenching her arms around behind her back. But have a chat beforehand to let her know you want to do physical stuff like slapping her and spitting on her. She may be just expecting some harsh words and anal. |
02-18-2011, 01:17 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 190
Reputation: 5377 |
I have to admit I've had no experience with this but I really wish one of the guys I've
dated had made this suggestion because I'd have been too embarrassed to! A safe word is an obvious thing to have but I love DorianBlack's idea of a "less safe word". It gives you the chance to slow down but not ruin the mood. I might suggest you start out slowly by having either her or you and her write a script of how the rape would go. Seriously write it out on pen and paper, what you would say to her and she to you. A generic version of a rape you both agree to. Maybe you would both sign it just so there is no worries about what will happen should someone (she) change their mind. Protect her and yourself. And have fun! : ) |
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