Seriousness (for hellminth)

[Dollface]

It had been a long day and I was eager to take a shower. Turning on the tap to allow the water to heat up, I slowly undressed, taking note of how tired I looked. The day I quit would be wonderful.

But it was also a long way off, I knew, shaking my head sadly.

I entered the shower, happily allowing the warm water to soothe my tensions away.

[hellminth]

(for me?!! i never read this stuff ... but ok ...i think i can do this ...)

i slid awkwardly through your front door, mist pouring out from the partially open bathroom door, along with a horrible noise that i believe is called "singing". uncertain what "achy breaky heart" is, and wondering if it is a weapon, i momentarily diverted my advance via the kitchen, and was immediatedly distracted by the left over half slice of hawaiian pizza.

licking my fingers as i peeked through the crack, i saw why Boba had highly recommended her as a slave. Even though the singing needs work and not auditioning for Idol, this girl can dance. Through the mist and blurry screen, her rhythmic silhouette entranced me like my previous. Unable to resist my primative urges, i open the shower screen door as she screamed.

"AHHHH!!! Monster!!!!"

My disproportionally short arms managed to pin her front against the cold wall tiles, as i fumble through my layers attempting to locate my reproductive organ. Once successful, I realised I had another problem - the shower was wayyy to small and only my abdomen could fit through it ... and it was actually my abdomen that was squashing her against the wall.

Somewhat embarassed by this, I spoke in a deep thunderous tone

"sajjuuu baa mee ya wee wee a ku?"

C3PO quickly translates -

"his majesty Jabba the Hutt requests that you to step out of the shower, so his royal penis can reach you."

[Dollface]

(LIAR! )

I screamed in horror. "W-what the hell are you?!" I shrieked, then grabbed the can of mace that I keep next to the shower (this is like the 24th time this week that this has happened to me).

"Bad dog! Sit!" I yell, spraying the burning liquid in the blobby monster's eyes.

[hellminth]

(i don't read this stuff! but i think i know why people do it )

I drag you by the arms out of the shower, dripping naked. not sure why you decided to spray me with some spices, which smelt a little like CK for Hutts, perhaps a human mating ritual?

C3PO tries to explain :

"Miss, this is Jabba, the ruler of the Hutts, and he has chosen you to become his next slave! Congratulations!"

Holding out a brass-metal bikini, I gesture to you indicating that I would like you to put it on.

C3PO continues to try and smooth the situation :

"this was owned by his previous favourate slave, and it is your honour to wear it again!"

Reaching out with my ultra-short arms, i spin your long brunette hair into buns on the side of your head, licking my lips to show my tremendous pleasure.

"OOO ... Hoohoooohhooohooo !" I laugh deeply

[Dollface]

I look at the metal bikini with disgust. "What's that from? The 1970s?" I ask, still liberally applying the mace--which didn't seem to be working. Weird. Maybe this guy had developed a tolerance for it.

"What the hell?!" I screech as the robot that looks like a trash bin starts to style my hair.

"Do I look like I want cinnamon rolls attached to my head? You just messed with the wrong cunt, bitch!" With that, I whip out a lightsaber. Where I got it is not important, ok? Focus on the story! Anyway, so I'm dripping wet and naked and I whip out a light saber. And it's pink. Because pink is a pretty color. Swinging it around, I bring it to Jabba's throat.

[hellminth]

(oh wtf ... lightsaber?!! how the hell ? you are fucking naked, out of the shower? goddammit read the script! oh unless female Jedis put their lightsabers somewhere else ...)

The girl sure had moves like a Twi'lek (those blue aliens with tenticles for hair ... i think ...), and the way she weaved her shiny electric toy in the nude and wet was certainly impressive and completely unsafe.

"Juju ba wani kawa saki ya boo boo ..." I asked, gesturing to the floor.

C3PO quickly translates "This is rather unwise, as you are using an electrical appliance in the vacinity of rising water ..."

Turning your head briefly to the floor, you notice the water coming through from bathroom doorway. This was enough for me to shoot a paralysing dart into your hips. Falling slowly to the ground, the glowing lightsaber rolls towards the advancing water, it changes colour to green, then blue, then fizzles.

"pfssss ...waka niisshii ya ya wank ka, waju ki ki jedi 101?"

"pfssss ... everyone knows lightsabers are from crystal energy, not electricity, did you flunk Jedi 101?" C3PO explains.

[Dollface]

(What? What? Don't look at me like that!)

The paralyzing dart hits me, and though I remain conscious for several seconds longer than you had expected, I still fall to the floor with a thud.

An hour later...

I wake up, head still spinning. "Ugh... Did someone slip me a roofie again?" I wonder out loud, clearly irritated.

[hellminth]

(ya, i always wondered if it was a lightsaber in your pocket, or you are just happy to see me)

Humming the Cantina song, i inspect my newest prize. Bronze, tanned, classic beauty ... and that's just the bikini i put on her. Her hairstyle certainly reminded me of the time I had Leia, and the 20 buns I had this morning.

Ditching the robot, and pinning the universal translator on myself (yes yes, it's from Star Trek, but you pulled a saber from your ass!), I approach you with slowly, a chain in hand, directly attatched to the ring around your neck.

"Hello there Gina, I am Hutt, Jabba the Hutt." Clearly irritated, I take the Universal Translator off the Pierce Brosnon setting.

"I am your master Jabba, slave Gina Puncher" More satisfied, but not 100% clear, I take the voice of Hugh Jackman (oh couldn't think of anyone, and i am aussie ...)

"I hope you find yourself ... uncomfortable "

[Dollface]

(OMG! That one time! Why do you always bring up that ONE TIME?!)

"Ummm... What?" I ask, clearly confused and unable to understand your Piece Bronson-esque accent. "Oh!" I say, as you change accents, but them my eyes widen with shock and horror. "How do you know my name?" I ask. My mind wanders to how he could have gotten it. Chain letters? The freemasons? Strip clubs? Drug cartels? The yakuza? I've given my name to so many people it's hard to know for sure.

"Look, Java or whatever the hell your name is," I say, struggling with my bonds. "If I don't get chocolate in the next ten minutes there will be hell to pay. You got that, shitface?" I smile. I had used the name my mom had called me. She said it was a term of endearment, so I'm being polite and shit theoretically, so I should get what I want.

[hellminth]

(stripping jedi from drug cartel? seriously, if your strap-on wasn't shaped like a lightsaber ... oh shit this one is public!)

Recognising your weakness, a smile comes to my face.

"Chocolate did you say?" I grin with another 5 folds appearing from my cheek.

I turn towards a dispenser nearby, and pressing a few buttons, you hear the sound resembling success at a pinball machine. Spinning around swiftly, you see me with what looks like a fishing rod, and a chocolate bar at the end of it as bait.

"Roll over, Gina, and bottoms up," I smirked, "I am gonna do some fishing ... along with some pussy ... "

(Oh and it's JaBBa, I don't want to break any internet laws here. After all, we would all hate for RB to shut down because we used a patented term in a rape story ... )

[Dollface]

(As public as a public... pool... I'm bad with analogies, ok?)

"ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HULK SMASH! CHOCOLATE! GIVE! NOW!" I suddenly lunged at the shit monster or whatever the hell he was, my skin turning green as my nails expand into claws. "MUGHHBBHVGH!" I grabbed the chocolate and bit into it savagely. Gradually, my body turned back to normal and I clung to the sweet happily.

"Who's a good candy? YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! I love you!" I coo to the chocolate bar.

[hellminth]

(a stripping jedi chic who turns into a hulk ... seriously, can you make this any harder?)

staring at my vacant fishing rod, all my anatomy droop in disappointment. how could boba fett not include the fact this chic is a total psycho in his report?!!

still feeling unsatisfactorily horny and in need of release, i shoot you with another paralysing dart. the chocolate melts with you into the ground - hand and mouth. reduced to a drool and wriggle, I shall finally have her!

(oh see you get out of this one, bitch!)

[Dollface]

(Yes. Yes I can. )

The effect of the paralyzing dart took hold of me. As I stumbled to the ground, my eyes widened with horror at what I see: my prized chocolate bar. Melting.

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I will my delicious little friend to fight, but already I knew that it was a losing battle. The bar was quickly becoming a small puddle of yumminess--but it wouldn't be the same, it could never be the same. I thought back upon the other, happier times that the chocolate bar and I had together. Like the time when Jaba had taken the bar out of the dispenser. Or the time when he had attached it to the fishing rod. Or the time when I had turned into the Hulk...

Simpler, better times.

[hellminth]

(oh trust you to write a love story between you and a chocky bar while being raped! get back to the subject! You didn't start the thread to eat!)

I watch the touching love affair from 2 steps away. I too know that love for melting food and its loss when it vanishes before you. Controlling my emotions and stomach, I loom over you, readying myself. Afterall, she is only a slave to be used ... but then why am i tearing up?!!!

I pick up your limp body covered in chocolate coloured drool, and it was simply irresistable. Throwing you across a table, I decided to finally indulge myself with my prize.

With perhaps the second most agile organ of my anatomy (that's right, my tongue is second, no prizes for guessing what's first), I sensually lick the brown liquid from your firm body - first your face, then your chin, then over the bronze bikini (oh leia, how i miss you!), and then over your abdomen. You whimper helplessly in disgust as I progressed lower, passing your pelvis, between your legs, then suddenly, my face matched yours in nausea ...

"AH!!! that brown fluid isn't chocolate! I forgot repeated low dose paralysing agents can make other brown fluid come out!"