Deal breakers in dating

[Sternenlied]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

I understand people have your "picks" for guys or gals but let's say you really hook it up with this guy (or girl) and you cross them off because he's short or because she has small boobs - something they can't control. Next thing I expect from you is that you don't date a guy because he has a small penis.

I can understand why you feel that way, honestly, but ... if you (or anybody else) simply isn't attracted to small guys - or women with small breasts - for example that's it. It might seem unfair but it's not about "judging" them. They might still be great people, great personalities to be friends with but that's not the point.
Physical attraction to other people is also something one cannot control or change.
About the small penis ... well, that's not really about attraction since you don't run around with your member swinging free (I hope) so this particular body part doesn't enter the ring right from the start. However, if the penis size contributes to her not being sexually fulfilled it certainly is a reason to some women to let this relationship go.

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Poor choice of clothing shouldn't really be that much of a difference. They're clothes that you wear that you get from the store. Any person can change their clothing at any time - so I really don't think clothing choice should really be an issue. If they're "forced" to put on brand names, they'll "look good" but what good does that really do?

I can't speak for ChiTownHoney here but in my opinion "poor choice of clothing" doesn't mean the man's clothes are "cheap" or not of any name brands but rather about the style, the combination, the general way his clothes look on him and make him look. A man wearing "cheap", non-brand clothes can still look quite sexy if he simply makes the right choices about what to wear.

Originally Posted by Concrad

Spoken like a true prodigy. Absolutely right, I've lost count of the times I've seen horrible fat, arrogant, ugly, badly dressed, and uncouth men with total stunners on their arm. I look at them and see they have gold rolex watches, they get into big mercedes cars etc. It makes me so sad.

Yes, no doubt about that. Enough women are just a different kind of prostitute. Many women can be bought with money to stay with a guy and have sex with him no matter how physically repulsive he might be, no matter what a scorched personality he might sport.
I think the important question is: Would you prefer such a woman at your side instead of one that actually appreciates you for who and what you are?

The two notions mentioned above (physical build and money) actually go hand-in-hand anthropologically as well as psychologically.
We usually search for a mate with which the possibility of promising offspring and a successful heritage (and thus survival of the tribe) can be achieved. A large, well-built man seems to offer good and healthy genes as well as physical protection from any enemies and predators. That's still in women's heads somewhere. However physical attributes alone do not ensure a successful family and security for children nowadays anymore. That's where the money comes in. For ages the rich man could provide the best care and - additionally - compensate for eventual physical shortcomings with his wealth and the (gained by that wealth) influence. So naturally to many woman those attributes still have a high value (in their minds). Not really surprising when you look at it.
Of course women have realized physical protection isn't that much of an issue anymore (depending on where you live) and professional success (thus money) can be gained by themselves (depending on where you live once again) so - considering our Western society - we don't have to be on the lookout for those things in men anymore.
Doesn't mean we don't like them, though.

[shysnale]

Brilliant brilliant speech, but all we do here is talking. Are there a lot of happy couples around here ? The clock is ticking, maybe it's time for a compromise. Could loneliness be worst than dating someone ugly ?

Be ugly has a strong advantage. It last forever.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

I can understand why you feel that way, honestly, but ... if you (or anybody else) simply isn't attracted to small guys - or women with small breasts - for example that's it. It might seem unfair but it's not about "judging" them. They might still be great people, great personalities to be friends with but that's not the point.
Physical attraction to other people is also something one cannot control or change.
About the small penis ... well, that's not really about attraction since you don't run around with your member swinging free (I hope) so this particular body part doesn't enter the ring right from the start. However, if the penis size contributes to her not being sexually fulfilled it certainly is a reason to some women to let this relationship go.



I can't speak for ChiTownHoney here but in my opinion "poor choice of clothing" doesn't mean the man's clothes are "cheap" or not of any name brands but rather about the style, the combination, the general way his clothes look on him and make him look. A man wearing "cheap", non-brand clothes can still look quite sexy if he simply makes the right choices about what to wear.



Yes, no doubt about that. Enough women are just a different kind of prostitute. Many women can be bought with money to stay with a guy and have sex with him no matter how physically repulsive he might be, no matter what a scorched personality he might sport.
I think the important question is: Would you prefer such a woman at your side instead of one that actually appreciates you for who and what you are?

The two notions mentioned above (physical build and money) actually go hand-in-hand anthropologically as well as psychologically.
We usually search for a mate with which the possibility of promising offspring and a successful heritage (and thus survival of the tribe) can be achieved. A large, well-built man seems to offer good and healthy genes as well as physical protection from any enemies and predators. That's still in women's heads somewhere. However physical attributes alone do not ensure a successful family and security for children nowadays anymore. That's where the money comes in. For ages the rich man could provide the best care and - additionally - compensate for eventual physical shortcomings with his wealth and the (gained by that wealth) influence. So naturally to many woman those attributes still have a high value (in their minds). Not really surprising when you look at it.
Of course women have realized physical protection isn't that much of an issue anymore (depending on where you live) and professional success (thus money) can be gained by themselves (depending on where you live once again) so - considering our Western society - we don't have to be on the lookout for those things in men anymore.
Doesn't mean we don't like them, though.

Very very nice reply, even for the most part it's to refute what I was saying before.

I guess it's Chitown's personal choice which can't really be changed. It's just how she wants it. Some girls don't mind (so much) that the person is short or some guys don't mind girls having small boobs etc. I just FEEL that for her, the deal breakers are things people can't control at all, and that's almost like asking for too much.

I can completely understand if you're turned off by smokers, bad breath etc etc, illustrates a lack of self-care. GIVEN the fact that he COULD have controlled this and DIDN'T do it, THEN that gives reasons for deal breaking. Don't get me wrong.

No person is ever perfect, but some people do come close; the idea is to accept the person for who they are because one day, you might be living them. With Chitown's style, I don't know how long her relationships could last. (Again, it's not intended to poke at her directly, it's just a comment).

Originally Posted by shysnale

Brilliant brilliant speech, but all we do here is talking. Are there a lot of happy couples around here ? The clock is ticking, maybe it's time for a compromise. Could loneliness be worst than dating someone ugly ?

Be ugly has a strong advantage. It last forever.

There are a lot of happy couples. It's a good and bad thing. It's great that they get along, but it brings despair to those that don't have it and want it

I highly doubt you're ugly Shy. Unless you're a victim of the Agent Orange chemicals (no offense to them), it's possibly that you're too shy for your own personal traits. If there was a girl that was interested in what you're hiding under the hood, then you'd be successful, but in this day and age, they want to see everything. If you can somehow bring up your "sureness" about yourself, and if you can get into the social world (joining clubs etc etc), then you might be able to benefit.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

I can understand why you feel that way, honestly, but ... if you (or anybody else) simply isn't attracted to small guys - or women with small breasts - for example that's it. It might seem unfair but it's not about "judging" them. They might still be great people, great personalities to be friends with but that's not the point.
Physical attraction to other people is also something one cannot control or change.
About the small penis ... well, that's not really about attraction since you don't run around with your member swinging free (I hope) so this particular body part doesn't enter the ring right from the start. However, if the penis size contributes to her not being sexually fulfilled it certainly is a reason to some women to let this relationship go.



I can't speak for ChiTownHoney here but in my opinion "poor choice of clothing" doesn't mean the man's clothes are "cheap" or not of any name brands but rather about the style, the combination, the general way his clothes look on him and make him look. A man wearing "cheap", non-brand clothes can still look quite sexy if he simply makes the right choices about what to wear.



Yes, no doubt about that. Enough women are just a different kind of prostitute. Many women can be bought with money to stay with a guy and have sex with him no matter how physically repulsive he might be, no matter what a scorched personality he might sport.
I think the important question is: Would you prefer such a woman at your side instead of one that actually appreciates you for who and what you are?

The two notions mentioned above (physical build and money) actually go hand-in-hand anthropologically as well as psychologically.
We usually search for a mate with which the possibility of promising offspring and a successful heritage (and thus survival of the tribe) can be achieved. A large, well-built man seems to offer good and healthy genes as well as physical protection from any enemies and predators. That's still in women's heads somewhere. However physical attributes alone do not ensure a successful family and security for children nowadays anymore. That's where the money comes in. For ages the rich man could provide the best care and - additionally - compensate for eventual physical shortcomings with his wealth and the (gained by that wealth) influence. So naturally to many woman those attributes still have a high value (in their minds). Not really surprising when you look at it.
Of course women have realized physical protection isn't that much of an issue anymore (depending on where you live) and professional success (thus money) can be gained by themselves (depending on where you live once again) so - considering our Western society - we don't have to be on the lookout for those things in men anymore.
Doesn't mean we don't like them, though.

Also, there's a girl I know that's still attached to this guy even though he's being a jerk to her all the time and ignores her. She complains to me about it (as if she wants me to something about it and I do comment a bit on it but for the most part, I say, this isn't really my subject to comment as I'm not in position to say anything. But anyway, this gets the wrong impression that jerks are more valued over nice guys like ShySnale.

Women, instinctively, want to feel "inferior" (note the quotes) over the guy so with this thinking, I can understand why Chitown would say all of it. It's, as Stern says, back to the prehistoric times idea with the caveman and the "protection" idea.

With this in mind, time for a personality change from nice ---> ass.

[Conrad]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

Yes, no doubt about that. Enough women are just a different kind of prostitute. Many women can be bought with money to stay with a guy and have sex with him no matter how physically repulsive he might be, no matter what a scorched personality he might sport.
I think the important question is: Would you prefer such a woman at your side instead of one that actually appreciates you for who and what you are?

Concrad!!!

Anyways, I think my answer was in the sentiment of my post. That is to say I'd much rather not have a gold digger by my side. I would most certainly want my partner to want and appreciate me for who I am. Likewise I'd do the same for her and do my upmost to be the best I could be for her, in all aspects of relationship and life.

As for the rest of your points I agree, for the most part, and any argument would be pedantic or is that petty?

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Don't take any offense from this ChiTown but based on the above, I think you're shallow,

Coming from the guy who wrote this about messing around with a married woman...

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Sometimes, you need to forget "morality". If she wants you and you want her, why the fuck not?

The kettles calling,your black!

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by shysnale

Are there a lot of happy couples around here ?

I have been with my girlfriend for a couple of years and we are very happy!

I came to the conclusion a while ago that men are idiots and woman are a little crazy.You just have to find that lady that puts up with your emotional ignorance.At the same time you have to be able to calm her ,at times, irrational behavior.

I understand there are exceptions to every rule and im not trying to be mean to the laddies by calling them crazy or guys idiots.It's just what i have found to be true for me.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

And come on, short people are NOT TOLERATED?

I understand people have your "picks" for guys or gals but let's say you really hook it up with this guy (or girl) and you cross them off because he's short or because she has small boobs - something they can't control. Next thing I expect from you is that you don't date a guy because he has a small penis.

I'm barely 5 foot 2 inches. I have guys who seem like they are my height or smaller trying to get with me. I am not attracted to small guys. If that were the case I might as well be with a woman. I dont want someone my size, I want bigger. I want someone who can scare me if they get angry, someone who can crush me....not that thats what I want..but you understand the point. Nobody is going to be afraid of a midget. I want a man who makes other men afraid to talk to me. Thats just what I want. I only said "will not be tolerated" because thats just my sense of humor. Sorry if you missed it.

As for penis size...thats something I could probably care less about.

[Crotch_Ripper]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I'm barely 5 foot 2 inches. I have guys who seem like they are my height or smaller trying to get with me. I am not attracted to small guys. If that were the case I might as well be with a woman. I dont want someone my size, I want bigger. I want someone who can scare me if they get angry, someone who can crush me....not that thats what I want..but you understand the point. Nobody is going to be afraid of a midget. I want a man who makes other men afraid to talk to me. Thats just what I want. I only said "will not be tolerated" because thats just my sense of humor. Sorry if you missed it.

As for penis size...thats something I could probably care less about.

5' 2" Hmmmm That would make me 1' 1" taller than you

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

I actually could go on talking about this subject.

Poor choice of clothing shouldn't really be that much of a difference. They're clothes that you wear that you get from the store. Any person can change their clothing at any time - so I really don't think clothing choice should really be an issue. If they're "forced" to put on brand names, they'll "look good" but what good does that really do?

UNLESS this person buys stuff from the local thrift shop and THINKS they are wearing Armani, I honestly don't care what they wear, and I'm sure most people don't either.

If you're judging people because they aren't wearing Hollister, Abercrombie or other such brands, I think it's pretty ridiculous.

Cool so can I

Clothing choices are very important to me. You know the saying "the clothes make the man"? I believe that. A man can do a complete 180 transformation by changing his wardrobe. A man who is put together is someone who exudes confidence and class. I take great pride in my appearance and I think my man should take the same care...we do represent each other in a way to the public.

And a person with no fashion sense cannot change their clothes at anytime unless by a stylist. If you dont have it, you dont have it. You have to have the persona to match it. A well-dressed man tells me he is up to date and knows whats up.

For example if you think wearing black jeans with a tapered leg over work boots is stylish, then you dont know the world around you, and I wont ever be seen in public with you.

I am a bit shallow, but I can admit that.

Oh and the Abercrombie and Hollister thing? Unless I were 17 again, I would never date a guy who had his wardrobe from those stores. You are young I know, but once you get older, those stores will be a joke to you too. unfornately, then its just gets more expensive, haha!

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Crotch_Ripper

5' 2" Hmmmm That would make me 1' 1" taller than you

Edit, my bad, I only saw the one inch...haha. You are alot taller.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

I can't speak for ChiTownHoney here but in my opinion "poor choice of clothing" doesn't mean the man's clothes are "cheap" or not of any name brands but rather about the style, the combination, the general way his clothes look on him and make him look. A man wearing "cheap", non-brand clothes can still look quite sexy if he simply makes the right choices about what to wear.

Very well said. Its not all about the brands, even though I am a brand whore. its about how you put yourself together.

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

Yes, no doubt about that. Enough women are just a different kind of prostitute. Many women can be bought with money to stay with a guy and have sex with him no matter how physically repulsive he might be, no matter what a scorched personality he might sport.

Unfortunately, thats true. A man can be fat and unattractive, then you see he is wearing a Movado watch, and a Dolce&Gabbana shirt and then he is not so unattractive anymore.

[TZOFOSHO]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Personality can mean a lot and as cheesy as it sounds, it's just as important as looks.

I think we're all at least shallow on some level. Its gonna take alot more/be impossible to be with someone you're not attracted to at least on some level adn 99.8% of the time i think the initial attraction is physical.
Everyone decides who they are going to 'chase' based upon how attracted to them they are before they meet them. Odds are something made you go and talk to that person and odds are it was something physical.

As far as myself, i've come to realize that i'm a pretty shallow guy, there aren't that many deal breakers for me beyond the basic hygenic problems people have mentioned. But i'm substantially less interested in talking to a girl who i don't find cute or attractive on some level (, i'm a dick).

They're not deal breakers, but, the only things i can think of physically are that, i don't like girls who don't shave their arms or are taller than me.

Beyond physical features, i won't speak to a girl who is obsessed with an ex or herself, or a video game. And as Stern and Chi alluded to, if there's no chemistry, its just not happening.

unfortunately, i am a 'changer' and love to find a girl who i think i can 'fix', so far it has been a disaster, but, i'm working on it.

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I am not attracted to small guys. If that were the case I might as well be with a woman. I dont want someone my size, I want bigger.

Back to the vagina elasticity mystery.
Can a big man slide it all in your vagina if you're too small ?
I've heard most of the pleasure comes from the clit feelings, and the vagina bottom is senseless. Hence the expression size dont' matter, it's all about how you use it.

I think it's one of the reason women are afraid of me. I'm so tall. They think I have a gigantic cock. And.....they're right. I could probably never slide it in tiny pussies like pf one. Ho shit loose talk again. Sorry pf, I was only insulting myself, not you, I am the elephant man here ok ? sorry

Anyway, if a girl ever chooses to get in bed with me, it will take several sessions to enlarge her slot.

[Sternenlied]

Well ...

a) The inner vagina is not "numb".

b) "Size doesn't matter" is a lie. Length and girth are very stimulating, a small penis simply is not. Technique can compensate to some degree only. One the other hand however: A big member without any skills doesn't do much good as well.

c) A baby can fit through there. So - no offense - but every man who thinks he's too big to fit is just fooling himself. Too much girth (I'm talking A LOT here) can take a little work and requires careful handling sometimes, but the penis just too huge to fit is so rare it's very unlikely a woman every encounters one.

d) Length can become much more painful since tapping the cervix hurts like hell.

e) Almost every woman's vagina is physically build to handle a penis, even a large one. There are exceptions but those are quite rare.

f) Most women telling guys just how tight they are down south are lying; simply because they know guys like the thought of a very tight fanny.

[shysnale]

[QUOTE=Sternenlied;260204]
c) A baby can fit through there. So - no offense - but every man who thinks he's too big to fit is just fooling himself.[QUOTE]

Yeah but the baby can come out only because his weight has being enlarging the matrix for 9 months. I've read on sex related forums women complaining they had sexual problems with their partners because he couldn't slide it all inside. Why would they lie about that ? They seemed to be really crying for help.

Well...what do I know....

[Sternenlied]

"Slide in" can mean different things.
Like I said - some penises are too long to completely fit inside because they might hit the cervix. Also men with a huge girth can have trouble penetrating the woman when her body doesn't produce enough lubricant to ease it in before the vagina had the change to stretch. It's not a rubber band after all, it may need some time and a slow approach.
Just like some men suffer from phimosis some women aren't as flexible as others but it usually just takes a little more time and effort than usual.

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by Sternenlied

"Slide in" can mean different things.
Like I said - some penises are too long to completely fit inside because they might hit the cervix. Also men with a huge girth can have trouble penetrating the woman when her body doesn't produce enough lubricant to ease it in before the vagina had the change to stretch. It's not a rubber band after all, it may need some time and a slow approach.
Just like some men suffer from phimosis some women aren't as flexible as others but it usually just takes a little more time and effort than usual.

Huuuum why do I love talking about this subject with you ?

[Conrad]

My new deal breaker is if she doesn't spray me in the face with mace within 30 seconds of us meeting.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

Coming from the guy who wrote this about messing around with a married woman...

The kettles calling,your black!

What the hell are you talking about? I never messed around with a married woman. Show me proof that I said that? And besides, I wrote the above stuff on a pissed off day; give me some slack will ya?

Wow racist much? or is it a joke? I can't really tell....

Anyways, 5'2 makes sense. Some guys will never feel they fit in the category of "man" (I'm talking about the people who are on the midrange of heights (5'4-5'9). Lots of girls are also at this range and hence, they'll tend to look for the ones who are 6 feet and above, which is more than understandable.

Money might not buy you a long-term relationship but at least the woman will sleep with you a few times while she's on pursuit of it.