Did he really rape me? - Rape Board

ashamed · 01-16-2007, 05:17 AM

I apologize for posting this. I just want people from this boards point of view. Last year I met a man online who i was going to rape play with. I said I wanted to meet him first. So I went and met him and we were going to drive somewhere and have lunch at talk. But he ended up driving me somewhere and he forced me to give him oral sex. I told him the whole time i didn't want to do it. I asked him to take me back to work as it was my lunch hour for christs sake but he had a knife and made me walk to some public toilets and he had sex with me.

I have never really seen this as real rape. But some people have told me it is real rape because i only agreed to meet him for a talk and not to have sex

I cant help but think its my fault anyway even if it was real. i dont know. What do you think?

starhaven · 01-16-2007, 05:25 AM

yes you only agreed to meet with him to talk about haveing a rape play with him before you even spoke about it he raped you

so he raped you for real and its not your fult he should have made sure you were fine with it before he did anything

menace · 01-16-2007, 06:00 AM

This definately is real rape, and it sounds to me like he knew that.

Louise · 01-16-2007, 06:16 AM

This is most certainly rape and I am sorry you had to endure it. I would say go to the police and report it as such, but not knowing where you live, unfortunately the police are unlikely to be sympathetic to you...its one of those awful things that people will not distinguish between your fantasies and what has happened to you in reality.

Prostitutes, for example, have a near impossible job of convincing the police of rape.

If you do choose to report it, and I do recomend that you do so...as this individual clearly has no concept of the limits of fantasy and reality...you must be prepared to fight hard to make yourself believed. There are people and organisations out there to help you and I can offer some guidance should you require it.

Real rape must not be accepted, whatever the circumstances.
Lou x

Sodoman · 01-16-2007, 06:43 AM

Hi ashamed, you should not have taken the user name that you chose; you have nothing to be ashamed about. This guy is clearly a jackass and he deserves to be locked up. What he did was cross the line between consentual rape fantasy and real rape reality.

I completely agree with Louise. You should report it, though she is right, it will be hard for you to prove, but, it may allow him to be caught in the future. Because if he's done it once he'll do it again, plus, I doubt if this was his first time doing this.

Maybe you could get some local press and/or post flyers of his pic and possibly find other women who have been a victim of this lunatic. Just a thought. I hope you are able to work through this emotionally and psychologically.

I'm sure you struggle with it but it was not your fault just because you have fantasies.

menace · 01-16-2007, 06:48 AM

You should always report a rape. Even if there is no chance of the guy being cought/convicted, you have to this for yourself. It's a way of saying "What you did to me is wrong and you should be held accountable". If he is not, it's the fault of the police and justice system, not your own. It makes a difference between saying "I was raped" and "He raped me", if you understand what I mean.

I hope you can make sense of my dribble

ashamed · 01-16-2007, 06:49 AM

Thank you..You guys validating that makes it seem so much more real.. I just feel so ashamed of it because i was so stupid to go and meet him and get in his car. I have been raped another time and i dont blame myself for that. but this time i just cant help it.

I kept meeting more guys after. I didnt see it as real rape and i met three more guys off the internet and got physically assaulted by one of them and the other two i just played rape with but they were still assholes.

Anyway thanks

dark_d3viant · 01-16-2007, 07:08 AM

There's always some 'bad eggs' to meet off the net. Sadly it does happen, but I'm glad to hear it didn't put you off but you said they were assholes. Where are you finding these people?!

I hope you find some better RP partners, it's so horrible when these bad experiences mess up what usually is a thrilling type of sex play.

And you've nothing to be ashamed of, this sort of stuff happens to the best of us. That man obviously did rape you (as had been said by several people), you set the boundary clear and said you wanted to just meet up and talk and seeing as you were on your lunch break, If I was that guy, I'd see that as a total 'only got an hour or so to talk, and no RPing'. Meeting first and getting to know eachother is usually the best idea when RPing so you can talk about what you both want out of it, but jeez, what an asshole. Really makes people into RPing have a bad name when guys like that are on the loose.

Normally I'd say carry a weapon with you, but that may end in bloodshed.

Anyway, sorry to hear you had to go through this! Hopefully things can only get better, and you find some more positive experiences through this board.

xx

NeverAgain · 01-16-2007, 07:31 AM

You wanted to play rape, and he raped you, what are you complaining about?
Don't blame the guy right away, maybe he thought that it was all play...
C'mon...Rape board...You like to fantasy about rape, but you complaining when you do it...I don't understand... :/

dark_d3viant · 01-16-2007, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverAgain

You wanted to play rape, and he raped you, what are you complaining about?
Don't blame the guy right away, maybe he thought that it was all play...
C'mon...Rape board...You like to fantasy about rape, but you complaining when you do it...I don't understand... :/

Remember - there is a distinction between fantasy and reality. We don't want to go into reality and either be really raped or rape someone, because that's not only illegal and dangerous.. it's downright wrong.

Rapeplay is technically consenting on both sides, and if one of the partners is not consenting that would make it alright? Of course there is pretending to hate it which is the point, as the victim you're not supposed to. And then there is being damaged, hurt and traumatized.. all because they won't stop..

Would you take someone against their will, if they were into RPing, and then say it's their own fault for liking the idea *note*- 'idea' of rape??

That's like saying prostitutes deserve to be raped and killed.

*sigh*.

xx

Becka · 01-16-2007, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverAgain

You wanted to play rape, and he raped you, what are you complaining about?

I think you made everyone else's point with that one statement. "You wanted rape play, and he raped you...." Rape play is not the same thing as rape and for you to come here and state that because she was considering RP with this guy it makes it fine for him to go ahead with it without her consent is appalling...

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverAgain

Don't blame the guy right away, maybe he thought that it was all play...
C'mon...Rape board...You like to fantasy about rape, but you complaining when you do it...I don't understand... :/

Maybe he did...but he was wrong...She told him she wanted to meet for lunch to check him out. That does not mean "take me to a public restroom and have sex with me" at least not where I live. Maybe the definition of "go to lunch" is different in other parts of the world.

You know...as I have been typing this I have realized that if I continue I am going to end up being banned for personal insult, so I'm going to drop it before I say something that will get me in trouble no matter how true it is!

B.

NeverAgain · 01-16-2007, 09:15 AM

Hey, sorry if I was rough : )
You didn't quite understand me

But you should consider he's side, because maybe he thought that it is all play...
But, yet maybe he's just a sicko...
I don't defent him, but only telling you to see things as he have maybe seen them : )

and sorry fr the grammar.

Sternenlied · 01-16-2007, 09:16 AM

Well, lucky you are ...
I was just posting my first (and only) warning ...
One minute later ...

Louise · 01-16-2007, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverAgain

Hey, sorry if I was rough : )
You didn't quite understand me

But you should consider he's side, because maybe he thought that it is all play...
But, yet maybe he's just a sicko...
I don't defent him, but only telling you to see things as he have maybe seen them : )

and sorry fr the grammar.

I can only hope its a language thing, because quite frankly your comments were beyond moronic.

Ashamed had made it clear she had told him she wished to meet to discuss things first, we arent talking about a roleplay that got out of hand, this was reality. A rape. Nothing but.

If I were you, id remove your original comments.

menace · 01-16-2007, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Louise

I can only hope its a language thing, because quite frankly your comments were beyond moronic.

Ashamed had made it clear she had told him she wished to meet to discuss things first, we arent talking about a roleplay that got out of hand, this was reality. A rape. Nothing but.

If I were you, id remove your original comments.

Maybe he just missed the point of the original post... I'm pretty sure english is his second language

NeverAgain · 01-16-2007, 10:39 AM

Yes, english is my second language, so sorry if I don't understand sometimes, and misspell something.

And Louise, there's no need to insult me.

Babu · 01-16-2007, 11:34 AM

NeverAgain, I'm not sure what your rep was before you wrote that, I see its at -23 now... if that's any indication of how it was viewed.

Let me tell you something.. if a woman ACTUALLY wanted to be raped.. she could walk back and forth through a bad area of town or something until some idiot grabbed her. Now thats real.. when someone meets a person online, and discusses rape play they want to have rough sex, they want a rape-like atmosphere.. but just like in the RP stories we do here, things are planned out somewhat beforehand. There are (or should be) safe words as well.

The only way what he did could be excused is if on the phone they decided to meet and then he would take her out, force her to do oral, and then rape her. If they had decided on that course of action, then it is not rape.. but you know what? I don't think that happened.

And I definitely know what I'm talking about. Because I've met men online before for rape play.. I've also had rape desires that are not always sated with rape play alone. Sometimes if you know you are in control you don't get the full effect, but of course its much safer.

Now, through my own experiences, and the experiences of others I have discovered that NO FUCKING MATTER what two people have discussed beforehand, if the woman says stop.. that means STOP. If that ruins the roleplay, then so be it. A real man will stop to make sure.

In conclusion lol.. it was rape, he was an asshole, and Ashamed darling I've been where you are now.. you'd be surprised how similar my experience was.. all I can say is please be careful and if you want to chat I'm always here... maybe if we can chat extensively about it, we wont go out and do it

Oh wait, what am I saying lol

Just try to be safe babe..

dark_d3viant · 01-16-2007, 11:51 AM

Heehee, Babu & the girls *bite*

Louise · 01-16-2007, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverAgain

Yes, english is my second language, so sorry if I don't understand sometimes, and misspell something.

And Louise, there's no need to insult me.

I didnt insult you, I was insulted by your comments and thats what I said was moronic!

I could have neg repped you, but I didnt, I gave you the benefit of the doubt!

Jeez!

Huni_Heart · 01-16-2007, 05:27 PM

Well i can tell you how I saw that post... beyond moronic!

Jesus! If English is your second language you should be more careful about what you say then!

We're not "complaining" about real rape, nobody here encourages it! ACTUAL rape and rape fantasy are different, as Babu said.

Rape: The women doesn't consent, isn't in a right frame of mind to consent, or consents to some activiy but not all of it (She consented to meeting up for a coffee, it's not like she walked around singing "Rape me!")

Rape fantasy: Both parties consent. One might pretend, but they know they both consent, they have limits, and they usually enjoy it.

KUISWHOIJELJFI *sighes*

Ok i'm saying nothing new, but you picked the wrong place to say that

Lets eat him alive girls!

01-16-2007, 05:17 AM	#1
ashamed Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 4 Reputation: 59	Did he really rape me? I apologize for posting this. I just want people from this boards point of view. Last year I met a man online who i was going to rape play with. I said I wanted to meet him first. So I went and met him and we were going to drive somewhere and have lunch at talk. But he ended up driving me somewhere and he forced me to give him oral sex. I told him the whole time i didn't want to do it. I asked him to take me back to work as it was my lunch hour for christs sake but he had a knife and made me walk to some public toilets and he had sex with me. I have never really seen this as real rape. But some people have told me it is real rape because i only agreed to meet him for a talk and not to have sex I cant help but think its my fault anyway even if it was real. i dont know. What do you think?

01-16-2007, 06:16 AM	#4
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	This is most certainly rape and I am sorry you had to endure it. I would say go to the police and report it as such, but not knowing where you live, unfortunately the police are unlikely to be sympathetic to you...its one of those awful things that people will not distinguish between your fantasies and what has happened to you in reality. Prostitutes, for example, have a near impossible job of convincing the police of rape. If you do choose to report it, and I do recomend that you do so...as this individual clearly has no concept of the limits of fantasy and reality...you must be prepared to fight hard to make yourself believed. There are people and organisations out there to help you and I can offer some guidance should you require it. Real rape must not be accepted, whatever the circumstances. Lou x __________________ ...no mercy in thy icy heart, for the lost prey you stalk and hunt, only the lust...

01-16-2007, 06:43 AM	#5
Sodoman Backdoor Bandit Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: U.S. Posts: 2,144 Reputation: 28425	Hi ashamed, you should not have taken the user name that you chose; you have nothing to be ashamed about. This guy is clearly a jackass and he deserves to be locked up. What he did was cross the line between consentual rape fantasy and real rape reality. I completely agree with Louise. You should report it, though she is right, it will be hard for you to prove, but, it may allow him to be caught in the future. Because if he's done it once he'll do it again, plus, I doubt if this was his first time doing this. Maybe you could get some local press and/or post flyers of his pic and possibly find other women who have been a victim of this lunatic. Just a thought. I hope you are able to work through this emotionally and psychologically. I'm sure you struggle with it but it was not your fault just because you have fantasies. __________________ "The mind is a beautiful thing to fuck."

01-16-2007, 09:16 AM	#13
Sternenlied Unknown Entity Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Niflheim Posts: 2,427 Reputation: 77819	Well, lucky you are ... I was just posting my first (and only) warning ... One minute later ... __________________ The Life and Death of Sam Crow - How the Sons of Anarchy lost their way

01-16-2007, 11:34 AM	#17
Babu Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Southern California Posts: 136 Reputation: 829	NeverAgain, I'm not sure what your rep was before you wrote that, I see its at -23 now... if that's any indication of how it was viewed. Let me tell you something.. if a woman ACTUALLY wanted to be raped.. she could walk back and forth through a bad area of town or something until some idiot grabbed her. Now thats real.. when someone meets a person online, and discusses rape play they want to have rough sex, they want a rape-like atmosphere.. but just like in the RP stories we do here, things are planned out somewhat beforehand. There are (or should be) safe words as well. The only way what he did could be excused is if on the phone they decided to meet and then he would take her out, force her to do oral, and then rape her. If they had decided on that course of action, then it is not rape.. but you know what? I don't think that happened. And I definitely know what I'm talking about. Because I've met men online before for rape play.. I've also had rape desires that are not always sated with rape play alone. Sometimes if you know you are in control you don't get the full effect, but of course its much safer. Now, through my own experiences, and the experiences of others I have discovered that NO FUCKING MATTER what two people have discussed beforehand, if the woman says stop.. that means STOP. If that ruins the roleplay, then so be it. A real man will stop to make sure. In conclusion lol.. it was rape, he was an asshole, and Ashamed darling I've been where you are now.. you'd be surprised how similar my experience was.. all I can say is please be careful and if you want to chat I'm always here... maybe if we can chat extensively about it, we wont go out and do it Oh wait, what am I saying lol Just try to be safe babe.. __________________ Why do people with closed minds always have open mouths?

01-16-2007, 05:25 AM	#2
starhaven Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 29 Reputation: 33	yes you only agreed to meet with him to talk about haveing a rape play with him before you even spoke about it he raped you so he raped you for real and its not your fult he should have made sure you were fine with it before he did anything

01-16-2007, 06:00 AM	#3
menace Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Who knows? Posts: 2,436 Reputation: 26964	This definately is real rape, and it sounds to me like he knew that.

01-16-2007, 06:48 AM	#6
menace Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Who knows? Posts: 2,436 Reputation: 26964	You should always report a rape. Even if there is no chance of the guy being cought/convicted, you have to this for yourself. It's a way of saying "What you did to me is wrong and you should be held accountable". If he is not, it's the fault of the police and justice system, not your own. It makes a difference between saying "I was raped" and "He raped me", if you understand what I mean. I hope you can make sense of my dribble

01-16-2007, 06:49 AM	#7
ashamed Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 4 Reputation: 59	Thank you..You guys validating that makes it seem so much more real.. I just feel so ashamed of it because i was so stupid to go and meet him and get in his car. I have been raped another time and i dont blame myself for that. but this time i just cant help it. I kept meeting more guys after. I didnt see it as real rape and i met three more guys off the internet and got physically assaulted by one of them and the other two i just played rape with but they were still assholes. Anyway thanks

01-16-2007, 07:08 AM	#8
dark_d3viant Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 676 Reputation: 3855	There's always some 'bad eggs' to meet off the net. Sadly it does happen, but I'm glad to hear it didn't put you off but you said they were assholes. Where are you finding these people?! I hope you find some better RP partners, it's so horrible when these bad experiences mess up what usually is a thrilling type of sex play. And you've nothing to be ashamed of, this sort of stuff happens to the best of us. That man obviously did rape you (as had been said by several people), you set the boundary clear and said you wanted to just meet up and talk and seeing as you were on your lunch break, If I was that guy, I'd see that as a total 'only got an hour or so to talk, and no RPing'. Meeting first and getting to know eachother is usually the best idea when RPing so you can talk about what you both want out of it, but jeez, what an asshole. Really makes people into RPing have a bad name when guys like that are on the loose. Normally I'd say carry a weapon with you, but that may end in bloodshed. Anyway, sorry to hear you had to go through this! Hopefully things can only get better, and you find some more positive experiences through this board. xx

01-16-2007, 07:31 AM	#9
NeverAgain Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3 Reputation: -45	You wanted to play rape, and he raped you, what are you complaining about? Don't blame the guy right away, maybe he thought that it was all play... C'mon...Rape board...You like to fantasy about rape, but you complaining when you do it...I don't understand... :/

01-16-2007, 09:15 AM	#12
NeverAgain Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3 Reputation: -45	Hey, sorry if I was rough : ) You didn't quite understand me But you should consider he's side, because maybe he thought that it is all play... But, yet maybe he's just a sicko... I don't defent him, but only telling you to see things as he have maybe seen them : ) and sorry fr the grammar.

01-16-2007, 10:39 AM	#16
NeverAgain Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3 Reputation: -45	Yes, english is my second language, so sorry if I don't understand sometimes, and misspell something. And Louise, there's no need to insult me.

01-16-2007, 11:51 AM	#18
dark_d3viant Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 676 Reputation: 3855	Heehee, Babu & the girls bite

01-16-2007, 05:27 PM	#20
Huni_Heart Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: London, England Posts: 275 Reputation: 809	Well i can tell you how I saw that post... beyond moronic! Jesus! If English is your second language you should be more careful about what you say then! We're not "complaining" about real rape, nobody here encourages it! ACTUAL rape and rape fantasy are different, as Babu said. Rape: The women doesn't consent, isn't in a right frame of mind to consent, or consents to some activiy but not all of it (She consented to meeting up for a coffee, it's not like she walked around singing "Rape me!") Rape fantasy: Both parties consent. One might pretend, but they know they both consent, they have limits, and they usually enjoy it. KUISWHOIJELJFI sighes Ok i'm saying nothing new, but you picked the wrong place to say that Lets eat him alive girls! __________________ Bondage straps, body chocolate and 4" stilettos guaranteed!