So why do you have a rape fetish? - Rape Board

Khaibit · 05-13-2007, 10:37 PM

I was reading Phantom's wikipedia rehash and wondered if anyone wanted to comment. I suppose I fall into the "repressed sexuality" categorically since, when I was younger and first in sex ed, I couldn't bear to think about it and the very thought was repulsive. I found sexual organs to be hideous scars on the otherwise very pleasing human form, and was disgusted by my own pubic hair. Anyone who partook of such activities, I thought, must be filthy and degraded.

The first definition of 'rape' that I heard was from a more worldly schoolmate who told me "it's when a man holds a woman down and takes all her clothes off and kisses her all over." I remember this striking a chord of deliciously secret longing within me. I was also affected when, in high school, I saw my first hentai. It was tentacles for years after that.

As I grew up, learned to masturbate, and became comfortable with my own body, I became aware that only thoughts of forcible intercourse and unwanted touching was able to provoke the desired response. This made me even more uncomfortable about my sexuality, but I hoped that it would stop when I had my first sexual experience. Of course this didn't happen. I didn't even have my first orgasm until two years later, when I was 20. I had to look up techniques on the internet in order to pull it off. I still remember what I was thinking about (and it was horribly, embarassingly nerdy (Sephiroth)) and how happy I was when I finally came after something like an hour of hard work.

I don't have the slightest conscious inhibition about sex anymore, yet these fantasies still haunt me and won't go away. I have almost never had an orgasm without thinking about rape. For a while I tried to train myself by getting worked up about a hot rape, and then stealthily switching fantasies when I was about to come. This did nothing and sometimes stymied my orgasm. Also, sometimes the rapist would say things like "how does it feel to be forced to pleasure a huge cock like all women should, you tight little bitch?" and the victim would respond to this by having an orgasm. This was especially horrifying because for a long time I thought that this meant I really believed women were not human beings.

Every now and then I stop masturbating entirely because payoff was just not worth the dirty way it made me feel. I have gotten better about this over the years and since visiting this board, but I still wish my fantasies would go away. It is something I will never be able to share with my spouse, whom I love more than anything else in the world.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. The Internet is for sharing so let's hear it.

05-13-2007, 10:37 PM	#1
Khaibit Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 85 Reputation: 72	So why do you have a rape fetish? I was reading Phantom's wikipedia rehash and wondered if anyone wanted to comment. I suppose I fall into the "repressed sexuality" categorically since, when I was younger and first in sex ed, I couldn't bear to think about it and the very thought was repulsive. I found sexual organs to be hideous scars on the otherwise very pleasing human form, and was disgusted by my own pubic hair. Anyone who partook of such activities, I thought, must be filthy and degraded. The first definition of 'rape' that I heard was from a more worldly schoolmate who told me "it's when a man holds a woman down and takes all her clothes off and kisses her all over." I remember this striking a chord of deliciously secret longing within me. I was also affected when, in high school, I saw my first hentai. It was tentacles for years after that. As I grew up, learned to masturbate, and became comfortable with my own body, I became aware that only thoughts of forcible intercourse and unwanted touching was able to provoke the desired response. This made me even more uncomfortable about my sexuality, but I hoped that it would stop when I had my first sexual experience. Of course this didn't happen. I didn't even have my first orgasm until two years later, when I was 20. I had to look up techniques on the internet in order to pull it off. I still remember what I was thinking about (and it was horribly, embarassingly nerdy (Sephiroth)) and how happy I was when I finally came after something like an hour of hard work. I don't have the slightest conscious inhibition about sex anymore, yet these fantasies still haunt me and won't go away. I have almost never had an orgasm without thinking about rape. For a while I tried to train myself by getting worked up about a hot rape, and then stealthily switching fantasies when I was about to come. This did nothing and sometimes stymied my orgasm. Also, sometimes the rapist would say things like "how does it feel to be forced to pleasure a huge cock like all women should, you tight little bitch?" and the victim would respond to this by having an orgasm. This was especially horrifying because for a long time I thought that this meant I really believed women were not human beings. Every now and then I stop masturbating entirely because payoff was just not worth the dirty way it made me feel. I have gotten better about this over the years and since visiting this board, but I still wish my fantasies would go away. It is something I will never be able to share with my spouse, whom I love more than anything else in the world. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. The Internet is for sharing so let's hear it.