Online rp and crossing the limits. - Rape Board

Joanna · 11-22-2006, 11:40 PM

There seems to be a lot of concern about not wanting to cross over the lines (limits) in Rape roleplay now I can understand that in offline face to face roleplay the harmful results off those limits being crossed in that situation is fairly obvious.

I can also see with online roleplay that theres a desire not to cause offense or spoil the experience or have the co player/s no longer want to play with you.
But the concern about not crossing those lines often seems to run deeper than just not wanting to cause offence or put the co star off.
So are there possible harmful effects of online RP being taken beyond someones limits that I am not seeing and am unaware of ?

Sternenlied · 11-23-2006, 08:00 AM

Well, I've only done online RP with one person, so I'm not too experienced, but maybe it helps.

I did this online RP via ICQ with a guy I met on the internet. Before we started doing it we used to talk about a lot of regular stuff, exchanged pictures, some self-made movies, stuff like that. In essence we got to know each other.
When we started doing online RP we didn't work out any limits, we agreed on just starting and learning as we go along.
Yes, I have to admit some of our RPs got ruined when we crossed the limits now and then but as a result we a) learned something we enjoyed, though we never imagined we would and b) we got to know each other so well, out RPs got just great.
Sometimes we didn't play a scenario we always wanted to try. We talked about it first or wrote short stories about it for the other person to read and get a general feeling for it. Then we gave it a try.

So I can only advice to make yourself comfortable at your screen, get going and experience it. Everything else is sure to come to you as you go along.

If you feel too fragile right now, if you're unsure about someone crossing your limits I think you should either don't do online RP at this time or choose your partner very carefully (and tell him/her about it so he/she can play more sensitively). I have times when I don't feel like roleplaying myself, so I just tell him (same goes for him of course) and we're both fine with that. If someone can't accept that he/she isn't the right partner anyway.

Louise · 11-23-2006, 08:22 AM

Again, i find myself agreeing with Stern on this one wholeheartedly....not kissing your arse Stern...well, not unless you ask me.

The point of online roleplaying is that it is utterly under your control...so if things do get beyond your taste, click the cross and laugh and go have a cup of tea or something...

If you are uncomfortable or unsure of your limits then dont go straight into a full blown rp...talk with your potential 'partner', discuss what you want or need from an online roleplay...and I like Sterns suggestion of dropping each other a story or paragraph or two of a ideal scenario or situation youd like to explore in more detail with a rp.

If, on the other hand, youre a full blown online whore, or e-whore (thanks pg) like myself I would rather go straight into one and rock with what comes as it comes...the unknown can be more exciting for me. So back in the days, I might well have said to Squid, do your worse, since I do sometimes need to exercise my darker fantasies, whereas other days a more gentle, is it forced-is it not, roleplaying such as the one I had going with Huni before the crash is more my thing.

Joanna, I think the power of posted roleplaying is also a factor in agreeing limits...say I started a post roleplay with someone, and my partner suddenly started along a more extreme, say snuff, line that I really didnt want to explore...yet...because its public theres a pressure element to a) continue and b) impress!

So not only are there differences between real life roleplay and online roleplay, there are differences between the differing forms of online roleplay, be they email, post or IM.

In short, just be comfortable and talk with your roleplayer partner. Those that are not willing to back down, or communicate with you should just be ignored.

Throatdagger · 11-23-2006, 10:14 AM

I have never been aware of a partner offended by my actions; maybe surprised, but not offended. I try to go easy on new players until I have a feel of what their limits are. Some say up front and that is great. I afree that is a role play is getting out of hand, a person should not hesitate to raise the yellow flag. After all this is about fantasy and fun.

menace · 11-23-2006, 11:19 AM

I think the problem is not someone else crossing your limits, but when you cross your own limits and like it.

Luke rape stalker · 11-23-2006, 03:14 PM

Everyone must be careful. I try to find the limits from my "victims", sometimes i asked before we start. But often was the answer not enough and in the game they feel its too much and then they stop without a comment.
When it happened everyone should be fair and say "hey this was too much" then both can see if they want stop or play further.
I think the most time the guys crossing the limits, so girls help us a little to find your borders- lead us to them.
In one of my first roleplays the "victim" write under the story some comments like "i love your knife" so i know its ok.

What do you think about a sticky with "a survey about rape fantasies" like nathan made on the top of the roleplay side. Perhaps there miss some questions but this we can change.

Joanna · 11-23-2006, 08:17 PM

hm yes see now I can understand about that. that some online roleplays go too far for one of the parties and spoil the roleplay.
I have seen some people on here whose style would make me go eeek thats not at all to my taste I am out of this.

But a lot of the warnings and concern I see about crossing someones lines seems to go deeper than just that someone might go yuck this ain't for me.

so I guess what I am asking is-- is it possible for some people to become severly emotionally disturbed and distressed by an online roleplay crossing beyond their boundaries and has anyone known of that to happen?

11-22-2006, 11:40 PM	#1
Joanna token average person lol Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 441 Reputation: 267	Online rp and crossing the limits. There seems to be a lot of concern about not wanting to cross over the lines (limits) in Rape roleplay now I can understand that in offline face to face roleplay the harmful results off those limits being crossed in that situation is fairly obvious. I can also see with online roleplay that theres a desire not to cause offense or spoil the experience or have the co player/s no longer want to play with you. But the concern about not crossing those lines often seems to run deeper than just not wanting to cause offence or put the co star off. So are there possible harmful effects of online RP being taken beyond someones limits that I am not seeing and am unaware of ?

11-23-2006, 08:00 AM	#2
Sternenlied Unknown Entity Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Niflheim Posts: 2,427 Reputation: 77819	Well, I've only done online RP with one person, so I'm not too experienced, but maybe it helps. I did this online RP via ICQ with a guy I met on the internet. Before we started doing it we used to talk about a lot of regular stuff, exchanged pictures, some self-made movies, stuff like that. In essence we got to know each other. When we started doing online RP we didn't work out any limits, we agreed on just starting and learning as we go along. Yes, I have to admit some of our RPs got ruined when we crossed the limits now and then but as a result we a) learned something we enjoyed, though we never imagined we would and b) we got to know each other so well, out RPs got just great. Sometimes we didn't play a scenario we always wanted to try. We talked about it first or wrote short stories about it for the other person to read and get a general feeling for it. Then we gave it a try. So I can only advice to make yourself comfortable at your screen, get going and experience it. Everything else is sure to come to you as you go along. If you feel too fragile right now, if you're unsure about someone crossing your limits I think you should either don't do online RP at this time or choose your partner very carefully (and tell him/her about it so he/she can play more sensitively). I have times when I don't feel like roleplaying myself, so I just tell him (same goes for him of course) and we're both fine with that. If someone can't accept that he/she isn't the right partner anyway. __________________ The Life and Death of Sam Crow - How the Sons of Anarchy lost their way

11-23-2006, 08:22 AM	#3
Louise Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,865 Reputation: 4905	Again, i find myself agreeing with Stern on this one wholeheartedly....not kissing your arse Stern...well, not unless you ask me. The point of online roleplaying is that it is utterly under your control...so if things do get beyond your taste, click the cross and laugh and go have a cup of tea or something... If you are uncomfortable or unsure of your limits then dont go straight into a full blown rp...talk with your potential 'partner', discuss what you want or need from an online roleplay...and I like Sterns suggestion of dropping each other a story or paragraph or two of a ideal scenario or situation youd like to explore in more detail with a rp. If, on the other hand, youre a full blown online whore, or e-whore (thanks pg) like myself I would rather go straight into one and rock with what comes as it comes...the unknown can be more exciting for me. So back in the days, I might well have said to Squid, do your worse, since I do sometimes need to exercise my darker fantasies, whereas other days a more gentle, is it forced-is it not, roleplaying such as the one I had going with Huni before the crash is more my thing. Joanna, I think the power of posted roleplaying is also a factor in agreeing limits...say I started a post roleplay with someone, and my partner suddenly started along a more extreme, say snuff, line that I really didnt want to explore...yet...because its public theres a pressure element to a) continue and b) impress! So not only are there differences between real life roleplay and online roleplay, there are differences between the differing forms of online roleplay, be they email, post or IM. In short, just be comfortable and talk with your roleplayer partner. Those that are not willing to back down, or communicate with you should just be ignored. __________________ ...no mercy in thy icy heart, for the lost prey you stalk and hunt, only the lust...

11-23-2006, 03:14 PM	#6
Luke rape stalker or Jekyll and Hyde Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 781 Reputation: 1695	Its not easy Everyone must be careful. I try to find the limits from my "victims", sometimes i asked before we start. But often was the answer not enough and in the game they feel its too much and then they stop without a comment. When it happened everyone should be fair and say "hey this was too much" then both can see if they want stop or play further. I think the most time the guys crossing the limits, so girls help us a little to find your borders- lead us to them. In one of my first roleplays the "victim" write under the story some comments like "i love your knife" so i know its ok. What do you think about a sticky with "a survey about rape fantasies" like nathan made on the top of the roleplay side. Perhaps there miss some questions but this we can change. Last edited by Luke rape stalker; 11-23-2006 at 03:17 PM.

11-23-2006, 10:14 AM	#4
Throatdagger Certified Boob Inspector Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Mid Atlantic Posts: 2,069 Reputation: 9789	I have never been aware of a partner offended by my actions; maybe surprised, but not offended. I try to go easy on new players until I have a feel of what their limits are. Some say up front and that is great. I afree that is a role play is getting out of hand, a person should not hesitate to raise the yellow flag. After all this is about fantasy and fun.

11-23-2006, 11:19 AM	#5
menace Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Who knows? Posts: 2,436 Reputation: 26964	I think the problem is not someone else crossing your limits, but when you cross your own limits and like it.

11-23-2006, 08:17 PM	#7
Joanna token average person lol Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 441 Reputation: 267	hm yes see now I can understand about that. that some online roleplays go too far for one of the parties and spoil the roleplay. I have seen some people on here whose style would make me go eeek thats not at all to my taste I am out of this. But a lot of the warnings and concern I see about crossing someones lines seems to go deeper than just that someone might go yuck this ain't for me. so I guess what I am asking is-- is it possible for some people to become severly emotionally disturbed and distressed by an online roleplay crossing beyond their boundaries and has anyone known of that to happen?