Is it cheating? - Rape Board

11-12-2007, 07:06 AM

Ohhhh a moral question, i love these.

Your partner is not into the whole rape/bondage/fetish thing and is very vanilla in terms of your sex life.

You meet someone who wants to roleplay in real life a rape scene and asks you to participate, so you do.

Now you may only do this a few times before calling it quits or meet them every 6-12 months on the side to fill your fantasy only as they don't live near you, there will be no real relationship between you other to fill a quirk you have.

The question is...would you consider it cheating on your partner?

shysnale · 11-12-2007, 09:28 AM

Guess it depends on what the first oaths to your partner were made of.
If the first jolt of electricity that brought a spark in your eyes and made you want to say 'I like you very much' was made of understanding througout conversations, then you can consider the casual 'aside' carnal activity as not immoral.

Wendel · 11-12-2007, 09:46 AM

Yes it is.

As you have described it, it is defiantly cheating on your partner.

Now the question is, what would you do if you found out that your partner was satisfying her particular sexual desire, with another man, several times and/or over a prolonged period of time?

tnc4fun · 11-12-2007, 10:10 AM

Yep...it's cheating...you don't tell her and she doesn't give her consent, then it's definitely cheating.

Ragman · 11-12-2007, 12:01 PM

My definition of cheating comes largley from my partners knowlege and acceptance of the events that occur with out her. So.. YES this would be cheating.

This is the sort of thing that needs to be discussed with your partner (BEFORE you do it) To ensure that you swinging around is ok with her. But since she is "vanilla" about sex than I would venture to guess that the whole swing aspect is probably not something she would approve of

Edit: sorry for the gender bias in my statment, Since I am a male I simply stated it from my perspective, Same concept goes for women as the cheaters

SecretObsession · 11-12-2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clan_hunter

Ohhhh a moral question, i love these.

Your partner is not into the whole rape/bondage/fetish thing and is very vanilla in terms of your sex life.

You meet someone who wants to roleplay in real life a rape scene and asks you to participate, so you do.

Now you may only do this a few times before calling it quits or meet them every 6-12 months on the side to fill your fantasy only as they don't live near you, there will be no real relationship between you other to fill a quirk you have.

The question is...would you consider it cheating on your partner?

I think, of course it's cheating! Even if you don't have an emotional relationship. The question is why would you stay with someone who was so unsatisfying that you'd need to go to that extreme? I say "fix her" or dump her

11-12-2007, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendel

Now the question is, what would you do if you found out that your partner was satisfying her particular sexual desire, with another man, several times and/or over a prolonged period of time?

That is why i asked my question without any gender in it, its generic for men and women to answer. Hence i used "partner" meaning either sex.

kodavictimm · 11-12-2007, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretObsession

I think, of course it's cheating! Even if you don't have an emotional relationship. The question is why would you stay with someone who was so unsatisfying that you'd need to go to that extreme? I say "fix her" or dump her

Well, I stayed with my ex for an additional six years because I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. Only when the thoughts started to turn to hurting myself did I realize that the next "episode" of our problems would be the last...

But yeah, I think it constitutes cheating. However... this brings up an additional question...

Is it better to cheat the way the question describes; once or twice a year discreetly; if it means salvaging an otherwise satisfying relationship? Especially if perhaps you are raising children or have family that would be distraught by the divorce?

It's not really a grey area, but... then again, the old "does this dress make me look fat?" question causes a moral dilema in some people...

GOATBOY · 11-12-2007, 07:16 PM

yes it is cheating. and I guess doing it will fuck your head up too becasue you will always be thinking of the other person and if you would be better with them.

SecretObsession · 11-12-2007, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kodavictimm

Is it better to cheat the way the question describes; once or twice a year discreetly; if it means salvaging an otherwise satisfying relationship? Especially if perhaps you are raising children or have family that would be distraught by the divorce?

Not unless you TELL your partner. If they can learn to deal with it, then great! BUT even if they cannot deal with it and they leave you, at least you were honest and took responsibility and faced the consequences however horrible, for your own actions! Life's not always easy

TheWhy · 11-13-2007, 12:19 AM

I lived through this situation. A vanilla wife, a child involved, and meeting potential partners.

I refused to look elsewhere. My personal moral code says I made promises, I took the oath, therefore it was not open to debate. Though it was not as hard as it may sound. While the marriage was good, I found that I could handle only vanilla, she meant that much to me.

Later, when the marriage went sour (for many reasons, the sex not being one of them), I still waited based on the promises until after the divorce was filed and we were separated. That final wait was extremely painful.

I believe that if you need to cheat to keep the marriage alive, it's not really alive to begin with.

BTW, I'm not claiming perfect morals. But I do believe promises are sacred.

ego · 11-13-2007, 10:26 AM

Depends on the way you see it. If you see it as a game?
I mean would anyone consider cheating playing football with the opposite sex?

Darkman · 11-13-2007, 10:55 AM

yes of course its cheating, but you know, you only live once!

11-12-2007, 07:06 AM	#1
clan_hunter Guest Posts: n/a	Is it cheating? Ohhhh a moral question, i love these. Your partner is not into the whole rape/bondage/fetish thing and is very vanilla in terms of your sex life. You meet someone who wants to roleplay in real life a rape scene and asks you to participate, so you do. Now you may only do this a few times before calling it quits or meet them every 6-12 months on the side to fill your fantasy only as they don't live near you, there will be no real relationship between you other to fill a quirk you have. The question is...would you consider it cheating on your partner?

11-12-2007, 10:10 AM	#4
tnc4fun Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 203 Reputation: 453	Yep...it's cheating...you don't tell her and she doesn't give her consent, then it's definitely cheating. __________________ The principles of lust are easy to understand, Do what you feel, feel until the end. The principles of lust are burned into your mind, Do what you want, do it until you find...love. Basic instincts, social life Paradoxes side by side Don't submit to stupid rules Be yourself and nobody's fool Don't accept average habits Open your heart and push the limits. The path of excess leads to the Tower of Wisdom. St. Michael Cretu

11-12-2007, 12:01 PM	#5
Ragman Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: an alley near you Posts: 2,226 Reputation: 5535	My definition of cheating comes largley from my partners knowlege and acceptance of the events that occur with out her. So.. YES this would be cheating. This is the sort of thing that needs to be discussed with your partner (BEFORE you do it) To ensure that you swinging around is ok with her. But since she is "vanilla" about sex than I would venture to guess that the whole swing aspect is probably not something she would approve of Edit: sorry for the gender bias in my statment, Since I am a male I simply stated it from my perspective, Same concept goes for women as the cheaters __________________ "Aww He's just a silly, dirty little man. What's to be afraid of ?" 2

11-12-2007, 07:16 PM	#9
GOATBOY Privileged Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: london uk Posts: 627 Reputation: 4793	yes it is cheating. and I guess doing it will fuck your head up too becasue you will always be thinking of the other person and if you would be better with them. __________________ HAPPINESS IS A DRY PUSSY

11-13-2007, 12:19 AM	#11
TheWhy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: NE Pennsylvania Posts: 186 Reputation: 266	I lived through this situation. A vanilla wife, a child involved, and meeting potential partners. I refused to look elsewhere. My personal moral code says I made promises, I took the oath, therefore it was not open to debate. Though it was not as hard as it may sound. While the marriage was good, I found that I could handle only vanilla, she meant that much to me. Later, when the marriage went sour (for many reasons, the sex not being one of them), I still waited based on the promises until after the divorce was filed and we were separated. That final wait was extremely painful. I believe that if you need to cheat to keep the marriage alive, it's not really alive to begin with. BTW, I'm not claiming perfect morals. But I do believe promises are sacred. __________________ When she begs "why?", now you know

11-12-2007, 09:28 AM	#2
shysnale Neurotic Escargot Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Poker Table Posts: 2,754 Reputation: 13179	Guess it depends on what the first oaths to your partner were made of. If the first jolt of electricity that brought a spark in your eyes and made you want to say 'I like you very much' was made of understanding througout conversations, then you can consider the casual 'aside' carnal activity as not immoral.

11-12-2007, 09:46 AM	#3
Wendel Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 279 Reputation: 3443	Yes it is. As you have described it, it is defiantly cheating on your partner. Now the question is, what would you do if you found out that your partner was satisfying her particular sexual desire, with another man, several times and/or over a prolonged period of time?

11-13-2007, 10:26 AM	#12
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	Depends on the way you see it. If you see it as a game? I mean would anyone consider cheating playing football with the opposite sex?

11-13-2007, 10:55 AM	#13
Darkman its all give and take Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 688 Reputation: 179	yes of course its cheating, but you know, you only live once! __________________ just do it