Sharing your partner- aimed at couples who swing - Rape Board

08-19-2007, 04:18 AM

Not trying to pry into your personal life just interested in how couples who involve others in roleplay (rape play or otherwise) in real life think about there partners going off and seeing someone for sex without the other knowing, maybe someone you have had a threesome with once before.

As you two are partners with open minds and dont mind sharing each other with other persons in role play have you slept with another man/women without him/her knowing and do/would you consider it cheating?

tnc4fun · 09-06-2007, 04:47 AM

Well CH, yes, it is considered cheating. We never do anything without letting the other know.

As a rule we always play together. There have been some exceptions when I've been unable to make it because of work obligations that she's seen guys we've been with and trusted, but always with my knowledge. I'd never go behind her back and she'd never go behind mine.

Basically, if you don't have an open and honest relationship with each other and communication between the partners, then you shouldn't be in the "lifestyle" at all. This is about adding to our fun. We're not looking for something missing, but something additional.

One mistake we see single (many married, pretending to be single guys too) make consistently is thinking wives in the "lifestyle" can't wait to jump in bed with them. It's something you get a good laugh over or lots of eye-rolling whenever couples discuss this.

Is cheating unheard of in the "swing community" ? No. But those relationships were usually headed for the divorce courts anyway. You don't "save a marriage" by "swinging". But, it seems to be much less of a problem than among "vanilla" relationships.

Hope that answers your questions.

gaggirl · 09-06-2007, 06:04 AM

Some people might not if they have an open OPEN relationship where you have fuck free cards. some want the details, others say fuck who you want dont tell me about it dont rub it in my face. In some ways I envy such freedom.

Given our current rules, developed over our first year of swinging, I would consider it cheating if my man did it behind my back without my permission or knowledge. Is it stands now, I actively encourage him if he wants to play and I really dont want to know the girl or the details. So long as I get that option as well!

In summary: if one partner is having cake and the other partner is getting cake AND secretly also gorging on biscuits thats cheating. At the end of the day its about fairness. the fact someone has to keep it a secret from their spouse implies some kind of emotional connection with the other person and thus is probably breaking rules.

Becka · 09-06-2007, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaggirl

Some people might not if they have an open OPEN relationship where you have fuck free cards. some want the details, others say fuck who you want dont tell me about it dont rub it in my face. In some ways I envy such freedom.

That's pretty much where we stand in our marriage. We have an open relationship with some rules and as long as the rules are followed there isn't a problem. I don't hide things from him but then again I don't really give details either.

B.

08-19-2007, 04:18 AM	#1
clan_hunter Guest Posts: n/a	Sharing your partner- aimed at couples who swing Not trying to pry into your personal life just interested in how couples who involve others in roleplay (rape play or otherwise) in real life think about there partners going off and seeing someone for sex without the other knowing, maybe someone you have had a threesome with once before. As you two are partners with open minds and dont mind sharing each other with other persons in role play have you slept with another man/women without him/her knowing and do/would you consider it cheating?

09-06-2007, 04:47 AM	#2
tnc4fun Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 203 Reputation: 453	Well CH, yes, it is considered cheating. We never do anything without letting the other know. As a rule we always play together. There have been some exceptions when I've been unable to make it because of work obligations that she's seen guys we've been with and trusted, but always with my knowledge. I'd never go behind her back and she'd never go behind mine. Basically, if you don't have an open and honest relationship with each other and communication between the partners, then you shouldn't be in the "lifestyle" at all. This is about adding to our fun. We're not looking for something missing, but something additional. One mistake we see single (many married, pretending to be single guys too) make consistently is thinking wives in the "lifestyle" can't wait to jump in bed with them. It's something you get a good laugh over or lots of eye-rolling whenever couples discuss this. Is cheating unheard of in the "swing community" ? No. But those relationships were usually headed for the divorce courts anyway. You don't "save a marriage" by "swinging". But, it seems to be much less of a problem than among "vanilla" relationships. Hope that answers your questions. __________________ The principles of lust are easy to understand, Do what you feel, feel until the end. The principles of lust are burned into your mind, Do what you want, do it until you find...love. Basic instincts, social life Paradoxes side by side Don't submit to stupid rules Be yourself and nobody's fool Don't accept average habits Open your heart and push the limits. The path of excess leads to the Tower of Wisdom. St. Michael Cretu

09-06-2007, 06:04 AM	#3
gaggirl * yawn * Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 3,058 Reputation: 40178	Some people might not if they have an open OPEN relationship where you have fuck free cards. some want the details, others say fuck who you want dont tell me about it dont rub it in my face. In some ways I envy such freedom. Given our current rules, developed over our first year of swinging, I would consider it cheating if my man did it behind my back without my permission or knowledge. Is it stands now, I actively encourage him if he wants to play and I really dont want to know the girl or the details. So long as I get that option as well! In summary: if one partner is having cake and the other partner is getting cake AND secretly also gorging on biscuits thats cheating. At the end of the day its about fairness. the fact someone has to keep it a secret from their spouse implies some kind of emotional connection with the other person and thus is probably breaking rules. Last edited by gaggirl; 09-06-2007 at 06:48 PM.