Would it change you ? - Page 2 - Rape Board

shysnale · 08-16-2006, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheostatic

No one passes through this world untouched.

We start off as infants with clean slates, but that changes VERY quickly, within the first week of life. As an example, experts say the amount of nurturing you receive within the first year of life will shape your ability to interact with others in later life. Similarly, abuses experienced at this young age will also have a lasting impact.

The problem is that is it often difficult to determine exactly how someone is going to react. As I said in a previous post, if one's first sexual experience is violent and non-consentual, that person may always associate sex with violence and require an element of fear and pain for normal arousal.

But the point is that a rape will forever change you, just as every experience is bound to. Obviously something like rape is going to have a more dramatic impact, but I can guarentee that, without having that much planned for myself today, I will still go to be tonight a slightly changed person than the one that awoke this morning.

All part of life.

Would you agree to say a bad nurturing in the first weeks of life can lead to some 'mental blocks' ? Blocks made of feelings and sensations that were exposed to fast to the young brain, and that were not digested properly ? Then if the mental blocks are just sort of psychological 'jigsaws' they can be 'unpuzzled', I mean dissociated by viewing them clearly under hypnosis or through therapy flashbacks ?

Rheostatic · 08-16-2006, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shysnale

Would you agree to say a bad nurturing in the first weeks of life can lead to some 'mental blocks' ? Blocks made of feelings and sensations that were exposed to fast to the young brain, and that were not digested properly ? Then if the mental blocks are just sort of psychological 'jigsaws' they can be 'unpuzzled', I mean dissociated by viewing them clearly under hypnosis or through therapy flashbacks ?

by "mental blocks" I would suggest, and research confirms, that the brain develops differently. Cuddling and nurturing triggers certain regions of the brain. If these areas are not stimulated, that part of the brain is underdeveloped, much like a muscle will wither if not used. Can't really comment on how a traumatic experience results in "mental blocks". This enters the realm of psychology, in which the brain is still mostly a black box.

kodavictimm · 08-16-2006, 01:11 PM

Molding of the mind is a big part what you are exposed to when young.

My mother had feet that hurt her a lot of the time and I would rub them to make her feel better as early as I can remember. I also was born with some foot problems that required podiatrist care when I was real young. So I developd a foot fetish because I saw feet care and love as the same thing.

Everything else in my life sexually evolved from that early foot love equallization.

shysnale · 08-17-2006, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheostatic

by "mental blocks" I would suggest, and research confirms, that the brain develops differently. Cuddling and nurturing triggers certain regions of the brain. If these areas are not stimulated, that part of the brain is underdeveloped, much like a muscle will wither if not used. Can't really comment on how a traumatic experience results in "mental blocks". This enters the realm of psychology, in which the brain is still mostly a black box.

Thank you very much Bob.

Quote:

This enters the realm of psychology, in which the brain is still mostly a black box.

Ho really ? Well I don't know much about that but I thought few things were established for good. I mean as we're individuals and not just sheeps it is still very hard to analyse someone but general reactions to frustrations like the tendency to control everything when you have a lack of affection or stuff like that...of course they're just standards than can evolve in many different ways with different people but still I thought these standards were something clear....

UK_girl · 08-18-2006, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheostatic

No one passes through this world untouched.

We start off as infants with clean slates, but that changes VERY quickly, within the first week of life. As an example, experts say the amount of nurturing you receive within the first year of life will shape your ability to interact with others in later life. Similarly, abuses experienced at this young age will also have a lasting impact.

The problem is that is it often difficult to determine exactly how someone is going to react. As I said in a previous post, if one's first sexual experience is violent and non-consentual, that person may always associate sex with violence and require an element of fear and pain for normal arousal.

But the point is that a rape will forever change you, just as every experience is bound to. Obviously something like rape is going to have a more dramatic impact, but I can guarentee that, without having that much planned for myself today, I will still go to be tonight a slightly changed person than the one that awoke this morning.

All part of life.

Very well said Rheostatic. At any stage one is conditioned by ones past expereinces, good and bad. I certainly do find that although not essential, an element of force and pain is very arousing!

Sodoman · 08-18-2006, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Thank you very much Bob.

I don't know who Bob is but this reply just caused me a 10 minute uncontrollable fit of laughter and I don't really know why since I don't know who Bob is...

Thanks Shysnale needed that.

MKP4 · 08-18-2006, 10:58 PM

One way of thinking about it (in a way men can) is to consider yourself fantasizing over being a great fighter. No matter that you're a huge whimp, you just love fantasizing.

Then one day you get the complete sh!t kicked out of you. And not in a trivial way. You're beat so bad that you're in the hospital.

Does it change you?

I got this example from the movie "Million Dollar Baby" - there a character named Danger Barch is a helpless wannabe boxer. His fantasy is practically delusional, that he is the best fighter in the world. Although he goes the the boxing gym everyday of his life, he never really gets better. He's harmless. And everyone by-and-large ignores him, knowing he's in his own world. Then one day, some shallow creep decides to challenge him. He beats Danger to a pulp. Fantasy or not, a real act of violence can't be dismissed. Not even by the deepest fantasy.

It changes you.

MKP4 · 08-18-2006, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sodoman

I don't know who Bob is but this reply just caused me a 10 minute uncontrollable fit of laughter and I don't really know why since I don't know who Bob is...

Thanks Shysnale needed that.

Check post:
http://www.rapeboard.com/showthread.php?t=1165&page=1

Reply #15

shysnale · 08-19-2006, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sodoman

I don't know who Bob is but this reply just caused me a 10 minute uncontrollable fit of laughter and I don't really know why since I don't know who Bob is...

Thanks Shysnale needed that.

lol I'm glad I made you laugh.

shysnale · 08-19-2006, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKP4

One way of thinking about it (in a way men can) is to consider yourself fantasizing over being a great fighter. No matter that you're a huge whimp, you just love fantasizing.

Then one day you get the complete sh!t kicked out of you. And not in a trivial way. You're beat so bad that you're in the hospital.

Does it change you?

I got this example from the movie "Million Dollar Baby" - there a character named Danger Barch is a helpless wannabe boxer. His fantasy is practically delusional, that he is the best fighter in the world. Although he goes the the boxing gym everyday of his life, he never really gets better. He's harmless. And everyone by-and-large ignores him, knowing he's in his own world. Then one day, some shallow creep decides to challenge him. He beats Danger to a pulp. Fantasy or not, a real act of violence can't be dismissed. Not even by the deepest fantasy.

It changes you.

Whow thank you for that, great answer !

Rheostatic · 08-19-2006, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKP4

One way of thinking about it (in a way men can) is to consider yourself fantasizing over being a great fighter. No matter that you're a huge whimp, you just love fantasizing.

Then one day you get the complete sh!t kicked out of you. And not in a trivial way. You're beat so bad that you're in the hospital.

Does it change you?

I got this example from the movie "Million Dollar Baby" - there a character named Danger Barch is a helpless wannabe boxer. His fantasy is practically delusional, that he is the best fighter in the world. Although he goes the the boxing gym everyday of his life, he never really gets better. He's harmless. And everyone by-and-large ignores him, knowing he's in his own world. Then one day, some shallow creep decides to challenge him. He beats Danger to a pulp. Fantasy or not, a real act of violence can't be dismissed. Not even by the deepest fantasy.

It changes you.

My job has put me in the hospital in the past. I used to get physically ill when I saw real life acts of violence. After experiencing it first hand, I find myself quite desensitized to the issue. Was a time when I would freeze in panic when someone would threaten me with a knife. Now when it happens I tend to be more relaxed and will actually taunt the guy a bit to either make a move or go home.

Sodoman · 08-19-2006, 12:32 PM

Actually, MK, the act of violence that was done to danger didn't change him all that much; after he got beat up he quit boxing for a while but then at the end he came back. Great movie, I've always loved Eastwood and Swank is a very good actress. OK, I was just breaking down your example a bit, however, the idea you have behind it is very true; it does change you. Nice point.

ThroatWhore · 08-19-2006, 11:02 PM

It's difficult to say before it happened, but I'm sure that it should change me somehow.

UK_girl · 08-22-2006, 06:58 AM

A good thoughtful post. From my personal experience, I have found that what has happened or been done to me has certainly coloured my my life. Sex is a very powerful and mysterious thing. for example, my first sexual experience involved being stripped, spanked and later caned. My second was a forced and quite rough introduction to oral sex by three men.

following that, I just love being spanked, and I love oral sex. Is that conditioning? or co-incidence?

Nessa

Sternenlied · 08-22-2006, 07:39 AM

To be psychological and esoteric at the same time

:

The human mind is just extraordinaryly capable of dealing with horrible experiences of any kind, even if the soul (if you believe in something like that) is left injured and scarred.

So I don't think that sexual experiences in the past necessarily have to (they might, though) have a constant effect on our future sex life and sexual preferences.

To quote a tv-series character I pretty much like: "There's two things I don't believe in - coincidence and leprechauns."

Still, to condition a human mind a much longer and more intense treatment is needed. So I would say it is nothing more than mere coincidence. If otherwise every victim of rape, abuse, molestation and whatever would have to be into those fantasies and preferences... And since I've been working in a help center for mistreated women for a few years I know for sure that is not so.

Grm · 08-22-2006, 10:16 AM

I can see were you are coming from stern, there seems to be a culture now of trauma effecting someone for the rest of their lives, 'post traumatic stress syndrome'. There is one school of thought that says if we don't 'relive', come to terms with a trauma we will be psychologically damaged for life. In fact all humans deal with trauma differently and sometimes more damage is done by forcing the victim to relive their fear. I remember an interview I heard on the radio some years ago, a veteran of WW2 was speaking of the day he had been the only survivor of a massacre and had seen all his comarades mown down in cold blood, he had even been buried under the pile of bleeding bodies. The interviewer said something like "I expect you still have nightmares of this terrible event", to which the old soldier replied, "no I have never had any, I was the lucky one, I survived."

MarcEdeSade · 08-24-2006, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grm

[color=Cyan] There is one school of thought that says if we don't 'relive', come to terms with a trauma we will be psychologically damaged for life. color]

re-examination using the rational mind is often a good thing...if you can't be rational about it, re-living may reinforce.

Sodoman · 08-24-2006, 02:34 AM

Or it may cause a nervous breakdown!

MKP4 · 08-26-2006, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sodoman

Actually, MK, the act of violence that was done to danger didn't change him all that much; after he got beat up he quit boxing for a while but then at the end he came back. Great movie, I've always loved Eastwood and Swank is a very good actress. OK, I was just breaking down your example a bit, however, the idea you have behind it is very true; it does change you. Nice point.

LOL - it wasn't really a "feel good" film.

Sodoman · 08-26-2006, 02:06 AM

No it sure wasn't, the ending was horrible and what happened to her was just as horrible and I wouldn't want to live in those conditions neither.

08-19-2006, 12:32 PM	#32
Sodoman Backdoor Bandit Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: U.S. Posts: 2,144 Reputation: 28425	Actually, MK, the act of violence that was done to danger didn't change him all that much; after he got beat up he quit boxing for a while but then at the end he came back. Great movie, I've always loved Eastwood and Swank is a very good actress. OK, I was just breaking down your example a bit, however, the idea you have behind it is very true; it does change you. Nice point. __________________ "The mind is a beautiful thing to fuck."

08-22-2006, 07:39 AM	#35
Sternenlied Unknown Entity Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Niflheim Posts: 2,427 Reputation: 77819	To be psychological and esoteric at the same time : The human mind is just extraordinaryly capable of dealing with horrible experiences of any kind, even if the soul (if you believe in something like that) is left injured and scarred. So I don't think that sexual experiences in the past necessarily have to (they might, though) have a constant effect on our future sex life and sexual preferences. To quote a tv-series character I pretty much like: "There's two things I don't believe in - coincidence and leprechauns." Still, to condition a human mind a much longer and more intense treatment is needed. So I would say it is nothing more than mere coincidence. If otherwise every victim of rape, abuse, molestation and whatever would have to be into those fantasies and preferences... And since I've been working in a help center for mistreated women for a few years I know for sure that is not so. __________________ The Life and Death of Sam Crow - How the Sons of Anarchy lost their way

08-24-2006, 02:34 AM	#38
Sodoman Backdoor Bandit Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: U.S. Posts: 2,144 Reputation: 28425	Or it may cause a nervous breakdown! __________________ "The mind is a beautiful thing to fuck."

08-26-2006, 02:06 AM	#40
Sodoman Backdoor Bandit Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: U.S. Posts: 2,144 Reputation: 28425	No it sure wasn't, the ending was horrible and what happened to her was just as horrible and I wouldn't want to live in those conditions neither. __________________ "The mind is a beautiful thing to fuck."

08-16-2006, 01:11 PM	#23
kodavictimm Privileged Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 502 Reputation: 484	Molding of the mind is a big part what you are exposed to when young. My mother had feet that hurt her a lot of the time and I would rub them to make her feel better as early as I can remember. I also was born with some foot problems that required podiatrist care when I was real young. So I developd a foot fetish because I saw feet care and love as the same thing. Everything else in my life sexually evolved from that early foot love equallization.

08-18-2006, 10:58 PM	#27
MKP4 Privileged Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 207 Reputation: 51	One way of thinking about it (in a way men can) is to consider yourself fantasizing over being a great fighter. No matter that you're a huge whimp, you just love fantasizing. Then one day you get the complete sh!t kicked out of you. And not in a trivial way. You're beat so bad that you're in the hospital. Does it change you? I got this example from the movie "Million Dollar Baby" - there a character named Danger Barch is a helpless wannabe boxer. His fantasy is practically delusional, that he is the best fighter in the world. Although he goes the the boxing gym everyday of his life, he never really gets better. He's harmless. And everyone by-and-large ignores him, knowing he's in his own world. Then one day, some shallow creep decides to challenge him. He beats Danger to a pulp. Fantasy or not, a real act of violence can't be dismissed. Not even by the deepest fantasy. It changes you.

08-19-2006, 11:02 PM	#33
ThroatWhore Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: St-Petersburg, Russia Posts: 1 Reputation: 10	It's difficult to say before it happened, but I'm sure that it should change me somehow.

08-22-2006, 06:58 AM	#34
UK_girl Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: North of London Posts: 45 Reputation: 295	A good thoughtful post. From my personal experience, I have found that what has happened or been done to me has certainly coloured my my life. Sex is a very powerful and mysterious thing. for example, my first sexual experience involved being stripped, spanked and later caned. My second was a forced and quite rough introduction to oral sex by three men. following that, I just love being spanked, and I love oral sex. Is that conditioning? or co-incidence? Nessa

08-22-2006, 10:16 AM	#36
Grm Banned Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: The Black Country Posts: 956 Reputation: 1332	I can see were you are coming from stern, there seems to be a culture now of trauma effecting someone for the rest of their lives, 'post traumatic stress syndrome'. There is one school of thought that says if we don't 'relive', come to terms with a trauma we will be psychologically damaged for life. In fact all humans deal with trauma differently and sometimes more damage is done by forcing the victim to relive their fear. I remember an interview I heard on the radio some years ago, a veteran of WW2 was speaking of the day he had been the only survivor of a massacre and had seen all his comarades mown down in cold blood, he had even been buried under the pile of bleeding bodies. The interviewer said something like "I expect you still have nightmares of this terrible event", to which the old soldier replied, "no I have never had any, I was the lucky one, I survived."