Reconciliation with reality - Rape Board

pravjey · 05-18-2010, 05:16 AM

Hi,

I hope I am not assuming too much but I think it is safe to say that we all agree that there is a difference between fantasy and reality and that real rape is unacceptable. (Apologies if I have assumed too much.)

But how do you reconcile your respect of women/men with fantasising about wanting to humiliate them sexually? Do you ever feel guilty that, while you openly treat a (specific) woman/man as being of equal value, in private in your mind you are treating them like a slave or possession? Does this lead you to overcompensate on respecting women/men to the point of submission or support pro-women/feminist causes?

grabbit · 05-18-2010, 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pravjey

Hi,

I hope I am not assuming too much but I think it is safe to say that we all agree that there is a difference between fantasy and reality and that real rape is unacceptable. (Apologies if I have assumed too much.)

But how do you reconcile your respect of women/men with fantasising about wanting to humiliate them sexually? Do you ever feel guilty that, while you openly treat a (specific) woman/man as being of equal value, in private in your mind you are treating them like a slave or possession? Does this lead you to overcompensate on respecting women/men to the point of submission or support pro-women/feminist causes?

I never feel guilty about anything in sexually oriented fantasy, I don't think many who come here would, or we wouldn't be playing places like this... Do you suffer guilt friend?

As for respecting women/girls, or blokes for that matter, I give them the respect they deserve in real life... That is if they deserve respect I respect them, if their behaviour doesn't command respect, they don't get it.

pravjey · 05-18-2010, 05:40 AM

I do get aroused by rape fantasy and that is why I am here...but the idea that I can get aroused by fantasising about something I believe is wrong (rape, violence against women, etc, humiliation, that is) fills me with guilt. Really, what is the difference metaphysically speaking between raping for real and raping in the mind?

grabbit · 05-18-2010, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pravjey

I do get aroused by rape fantasy and that is why I am here...but the idea that I can get aroused by fantasising about something I believe is wrong (rape, violence against women, etc, humiliation, that is) fills me with guilt. Really, what is the difference metaphysically speaking between raping for real and raping in the mind?

A lot of difference I hope friend Lol

But maybe guilt is your thing, maybe it's part of your turn on, guilt and even humiliation gets you off, as well as the rape and sexual violence scenario... You did say you have thoughts in that direction I believe, being raped and humiliated yourself

Tim Woodman · 05-18-2010, 12:48 PM

I think this is a fair question. Most of us were raised in a world where these kinds of actions, or even fantasies are considered very wrong. When I started playing rape games in real life with my lovers, I had to overcome a certain 'gut-level' reaction to breaking the taboo, and accepting that my lovers wanted the same fantasy I did. Don't feel bad about your fantasies, and don't feel bad about any residual guilt you may feel either. It's a complicated world we choose to walk in.

In fairness, I fantasise about murdering a lot of people in the real world, and don't feel the teeniest bit guilty about the fantasy. Heck, I 'murder' people in my films from time to time, and that doesn't bother me either.

jwham · 05-19-2010, 07:57 PM

I think all people have fantasies, fantasies that a normal rational thinking person would never act on in real life, that is why they are called fantasies. If we acted on our fantasies we would be sexual predators.

I tend to fantasize about women that I think are respectable women. In my fantasies a woman with moral values and who takes great pride in her moral beliefs and herself as a woman are a lot more fun to humiliate, dominate and control through rape.

I do not feel guilt for my fantasies, for I know they are just that, fantasies, something I would never act on in real life, and not just because of the fear of getting caught, but because I really do respect them as a person and my equal.

prey4me · 05-20-2010, 04:36 AM

Pravjey, let's take your thought,

Quote:

.but the idea that I can get aroused by fantasising about something I believe is wrong

and apply it to anger and revenge. Suppose somebody has wronged you horribly. You know that taking a baseball bat, and bashing his car or his head to smithereens would be wrong and impractical, but you fantasize about doing it anyway. Is that wrong?

TimWoodman makes a similar point with rape fantasies.

And jwham--I'm very much in your camp: moral, especially religious, girls make a fantasy much more intense!

Fae · 06-03-2010, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pravjey

Hi,
But how do you reconcile your respect of women/men with fantasising about wanting to humiliate them sexually? Do you ever feel guilty that, while you openly treat a (specific) woman/man as being of equal value, in private in your mind you are treating them like a slave or possession? Does this lead you to overcompensate on respecting women/men to the point of submission or support pro-women/feminist causes?

The same way a women reconciles fantasizing about being the victim of a rape fantasy, humiliated, treated like an object, abused, and so forth.

What attracts us to these fantasies are certain emotions and images that turn us on. For me, I get turned on by fear, helplessness, pain, loss of control--aspects of a rape fantasy. I acknowledge rape is rape and I would not want the real thing but I can certainly enjoy the fantasies and roleplays that invoke those emotions without feeling guilty because my brain connects certain emotions with arousal.

pravjey · 06-04-2010, 04:15 AM

Thanks Fae, that was a really encouraging response

Gingal · 06-15-2010, 02:47 PM

No problem for me, all boys I've asked to rape me left in disgust

fucking pussies virgin kids

pravjey · 06-18-2010, 07:36 AM

Well, I wouldn't (cos technically it wouldn't be rape).

gaggirl · 06-19-2010, 06:33 PM

I dont feel guilty about my fantasies as being victim, never at all, I feel only slightly guilty (but it feels more naughty than guilty) if I'm taking a fantasy of someone elses reality. If its a friend anyway.

Its horrible but I dont feel sympathy for rape victims that I read about in the paper, I guess I should feel guilty about that. But then Im not very...... caring and loving about people that I dont know anymore. Im a bit hard. I dont like humanity as a whole....

Everyone I know that has had it happen to them, including my own grey area assault, has been taken by the victim "on the chin" but then we are talking about degrees of assault too- in these cases it was only forced sex where you are relatively unhurt - it has to be much easier to be cooerced etc than being BEATEN, threatened with your life, done in front of family, or committed by trusted friends etc. In those cases I would probably feel sorry for them.

I think because my fantasy has been around me so long and is so ingrained and is a 80% fantasy for me (as in over 8 out of 10 of my fantasies are rape fantasies) If a woman is accosted in bed by a youth in the middle of the night I dont have much sympathy more like a loose kind of envy

To address another point in your question, yes it did make me treat men different in reality. It made me a tease!
I used to tease in the hope that I could push someone over the edge.Back when I was discovering my sexuality I used to dominate men because they were usually submissive and I liekd the idea pf being a bit of a vixen, but I only really pushed it far enough to see if it made them angry enough to turn the tables on me. (NO of course that never worked) I also used to take risks and jump into cars with men by myself. I was threatened that id be raped if I didnt leave a party, well I stayed at the party anyway.

I dont think alot of men are capable of doing it even in play situations, where they admit its a turn on for them, they often CANNOT take that first step, and even if they can get started, they generally lack the ability to make it happen! I think maybe thats why my fantasies are verging on more real these days than going back to some swinger site to find more men that dont know what they are doing.. but now I have more commitments and cant take risks anymore because of them, but I come here to satisfy some parts of my fantasy instead. And I admit sometimes I get my kicks from other peoples real experiences. If I dont know them anyway.

Gosh that was long for first thing in the morning!

05-18-2010, 05:16 AM	#1
pravjey Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 150 Reputation: 65	Reconciliation with reality Hi, I hope I am not assuming too much but I think it is safe to say that we all agree that there is a difference between fantasy and reality and that real rape is unacceptable. (Apologies if I have assumed too much.) But how do you reconcile your respect of women/men with fantasising about wanting to humiliate them sexually? Do you ever feel guilty that, while you openly treat a (specific) woman/man as being of equal value, in private in your mind you are treating them like a slave or possession? Does this lead you to overcompensate on respecting women/men to the point of submission or support pro-women/feminist causes?

05-18-2010, 12:48 PM	#5
Tim Woodman Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 105 Reputation: 940	I think this is a fair question. Most of us were raised in a world where these kinds of actions, or even fantasies are considered very wrong. When I started playing rape games in real life with my lovers, I had to overcome a certain 'gut-level' reaction to breaking the taboo, and accepting that my lovers wanted the same fantasy I did. Don't feel bad about your fantasies, and don't feel bad about any residual guilt you may feel either. It's a complicated world we choose to walk in. In fairness, I fantasise about murdering a lot of people in the real world, and don't feel the teeniest bit guilty about the fantasy. Heck, I 'murder' people in my films from time to time, and that doesn't bother me either. __________________ Tim Woodman, Professional Villain

06-15-2010, 02:47 PM	#10
Gingal Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 4 Reputation: 302	No problem for me, all boys I've asked to rape me left in disgust fucking pussies virgin kids __________________ Your pics here in 3 clicks : http://www.zukub.com

06-19-2010, 06:33 PM	#12
gaggirl * yawn * Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 3,058 Reputation: 40178	I dont feel guilty about my fantasies as being victim, never at all, I feel only slightly guilty (but it feels more naughty than guilty) if I'm taking a fantasy of someone elses reality. If its a friend anyway. Its horrible but I dont feel sympathy for rape victims that I read about in the paper, I guess I should feel guilty about that. But then Im not very...... caring and loving about people that I dont know anymore. Im a bit hard. I dont like humanity as a whole.... Everyone I know that has had it happen to them, including my own grey area assault, has been taken by the victim "on the chin" but then we are talking about degrees of assault too- in these cases it was only forced sex where you are relatively unhurt - it has to be much easier to be cooerced etc than being BEATEN, threatened with your life, done in front of family, or committed by trusted friends etc. In those cases I would probably feel sorry for them. I think because my fantasy has been around me so long and is so ingrained and is a 80% fantasy for me (as in over 8 out of 10 of my fantasies are rape fantasies) If a woman is accosted in bed by a youth in the middle of the night I dont have much sympathy more like a loose kind of envy To address another point in your question, yes it did make me treat men different in reality. It made me a tease! I used to tease in the hope that I could push someone over the edge.Back when I was discovering my sexuality I used to dominate men because they were usually submissive and I liekd the idea pf being a bit of a vixen, but I only really pushed it far enough to see if it made them angry enough to turn the tables on me. (NO of course that never worked) I also used to take risks and jump into cars with men by myself. I was threatened that id be raped if I didnt leave a party, well I stayed at the party anyway. I dont think alot of men are capable of doing it even in play situations, where they admit its a turn on for them, they often CANNOT take that first step, and even if they can get started, they generally lack the ability to make it happen! I think maybe thats why my fantasies are verging on more real these days than going back to some swinger site to find more men that dont know what they are doing.. but now I have more commitments and cant take risks anymore because of them, but I come here to satisfy some parts of my fantasy instead. And I admit sometimes I get my kicks from other peoples real experiences. If I dont know them anyway. Gosh that was long for first thing in the morning! Last edited by gaggirl; 06-19-2010 at 06:42 PM.

05-18-2010, 05:40 AM	#3
pravjey Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 150 Reputation: 65	I do get aroused by rape fantasy and that is why I am here...but the idea that I can get aroused by fantasising about something I believe is wrong (rape, violence against women, etc, humiliation, that is) fills me with guilt. Really, what is the difference metaphysically speaking between raping for real and raping in the mind?

05-19-2010, 07:57 PM	#6
jwham Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 1,007 Reputation: 23285	I think all people have fantasies, fantasies that a normal rational thinking person would never act on in real life, that is why they are called fantasies. If we acted on our fantasies we would be sexual predators. I tend to fantasize about women that I think are respectable women. In my fantasies a woman with moral values and who takes great pride in her moral beliefs and herself as a woman are a lot more fun to humiliate, dominate and control through rape. I do not feel guilt for my fantasies, for I know they are just that, fantasies, something I would never act on in real life, and not just because of the fear of getting caught, but because I really do respect them as a person and my equal.

06-04-2010, 04:15 AM	#9
pravjey Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 150 Reputation: 65	Thanks Fae, that was a really encouraging response

06-18-2010, 07:36 AM	#11
pravjey Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 150 Reputation: 65	Well, I wouldn't (cos technically it wouldn't be rape).