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Old 03-18-2009, 09:28 AM   #1
socyologyst
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Default It happened in real life. What now?

Hello all, I just learned that an online friend of mine, a fellow aficionado of rape fantasies, was recently raped in real life.

I'm wondering how to approach this, how to help her get over this terrible incident.

I'm especially interested in the ladies' perspectives, as this friend of mine is a woman in her early twenties.

Any help would be much appreciated...
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Old 03-18-2009, 12:50 PM   #2
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Interesting.

Well, I'm a woman in my mid-twenties....and I can say that I am actually quite jealous. I'm interested because I have been trying to get raped for years, but it hasnt happened. Is she really upset about it?

Unfortunately no sympathy from me.

I dont know what you are expecting.

Last edited by ChiTownHoney; 03-18-2009 at 12:53 PM.
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Old 03-18-2009, 12:59 PM   #3
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Ignore Chi, she's just a little weird, (sorry Chi couldn't resist)

What can do? The most basic thing you can do is be there for her, simple, not always easy, but important. Other then that, play it by ear. The problem is, we don't know the girl, so not knowing her personality limits what we can say.

If she is being strong, just let know that you are there.

If she cries, let her cry to you, if she yells, let her yell at you, if she needs a crutch, then be that support, if she needs strength, then loan her some of hers.

I can't really think of anything else, if I do, I'll add it.

I hope that she heals soon.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:08 PM   #4
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I'm the only freak here, Pervi.

Everyone here is fake. Pretend freaks. Well with the exception of Gaggirl, and maybe FuckingRotter. The rest of the peeps on here are a dime a dozen.

Last edited by ChiTownHoney; 03-18-2009 at 01:14 PM.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:13 PM   #5
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*yawn*

pervipete is spot on, hopefully your friend is alright in the end. Advise her to see a therapist if she hasn't, not a priest or good close friend someone in the professional field who can be of some real service to her.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:19 PM   #6
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Yawn at this thread.

Thread failed already.

My advice would be to hit the x button at the top left hand side of your window Then go to your windows browser, go to Yahoo. Type in "how to help a friend who becomes a rape victim" click on the 5th link. Read steps 1 through 4. Then realize that none of these apply because it just may be that a "rape aficianado" goes about these types of things a little differently.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney View Post
I'm the only freak here, Pervi.

Everyone here is fake. Pretend freaks. Well with the exception of Gaggirl, and maybe FuckingRotter. The rest of the peeps on here are a dime a dozen.
Sorry you hold the rest of us in such low regards
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:22 PM   #8
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Yawn at Chi's attitude.

Just cause you want to be raped in real life doesn't give you the right to have ago at anybody else, if you can't be constructive then don't bother posting.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:25 PM   #9
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Constructive about what? I gave advice, as you can see. And I really really dont care, nor do you. BTW, he really did not even ask for your advice anyways. I gave my advice, so there is one perspective to it. If someone wants to give another, then do it without me attacking you, like you attacked me. By saying I am weird, I dont even know what you mean by that?
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:44 PM   #10
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Weird, that was meant as a joke, as you should have got from the 'Sorry Chi I couldn't resist' after it

Constructive, I think posting yawn, well we will have to agree to disagree over that.

As for not asking advice, respectfully, I think you should re-read the OP.

Now, as we will not agree on this, and too be honest life's too short to have a row on the net with someone I will never meet, we both said our piece, and should leave it at that.
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Old 03-18-2009, 02:33 PM   #11
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Well spoken Pete. I second the suggestions of having her see a professional therapist about it. Let her know that you believe her, that it wasn't her fault. I'd also search around on the net, there are many resources around. Best of luck to her, and I hope she can make the step from "rape victim" to "rape survivor" quickly...

The best thing you can do it just be there for her.
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Old 03-18-2009, 02:44 PM   #12
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In all honesty, I agree with Chi (I seem to be saying this a lot lately o_O) on both aspects.

1.) rapeboard is not as animalistic as I thought it was going to be, it sometimes seems a bit "rape-lite" with very young angsty emo kids and guys who are sweet and so nice they don't appear capable of hurting anyone. (i do like the board though!)

2.) You would be far better to google this and find a rape victims support forum for some tips. There is very little a friend can do in the early stages, but obviously she should be encouraged to speak to a doctor who can ensure there is no physical repercussions and will point her in the right direction for counselling. If she isn't comfortable with this then the samaritans or similar charity organisations can help but really she would be better off going to a doctor and getting checked out.

Last edited by Lucy.; 03-18-2009 at 02:48 PM.
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Old 03-18-2009, 02:49 PM   #13
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The rape happened in the real world, the victim needs to seek help in the real world. If the original poster wants to support her then he/she needs to do the same. This really isn't the place to ask.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:17 PM   #14
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I think that as a place to start, then he is in the right place.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:23 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pervipete View Post
I think that as a place to start, then he is in the right place.
There is a big difference between rape fantasy and rape reality. There is also a big difference in members attitudes and experience on this forum. To believe that no member on this board has ever had any real life experience of the subject matter is naive and to believe that every member of this board has a real life experience is equally naive.

There will be some people here who undoubtedly will think "Whore got what she deserved". While that is a cruel statement, some will think it, simply because the site is a site for rape fantasies, and some's fantasies are a little more real than others.

There will also undoubtedly be the ones who think "Oh that poor girl". Most probably are so immune to it all now that they really just cannot put any sympathy towards it and really couldn't care less.

The advice that will be given by people who fantasise about rape will not match in any way the advice given on boards specialising in victim support.

There are far more of those types of forums and they can be found via a simple web search.

This is only a good place to start if he is prepared for people to have an open discussion about his friends experience, because however tactless, some people will. This board is focused on the act as a pleasurable subject and not as a bad thing, so it really is probably the worst place to start.

Just my opinion though.

Last edited by Lucy.; 03-18-2009 at 03:28 PM.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:48 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy. View Post

1.) rapeboard is not as animalistic as I thought it was going to be, it sometimes seems a bit "rape-lite"
is that a challenge?
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Old 03-18-2009, 04:30 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney View Post
Interesting.

Well, I'm a woman in my mid-twenties....and I can say that I am actually quite jealous. I'm interested because I have been trying to get raped for years, but it hasnt happened. Is she really upset about it?

Unfortunately no sympathy from me.

I dont know what you are expecting.
You've been trying to get raped for years? I doubt it, but if you really want to, here, the National Sex Offender Registry's website http://www.familywatchdog.us/, pick your favorite, go to his house, invite yourself in, you might get lucky.
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:05 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy. View Post
There is a big difference between rape fantasy and rape reality. There is also a big difference in members attitudes and experience on this forum. To believe that no member on this board has ever had any real life experience of the subject matter is naive and to believe that every member of this board has a real life experience is equally naive.

There will be some people here who undoubtedly will think "Whore got what she deserved". While that is a cruel statement, some will think it, simply because the site is a site for rape fantasies, and some's fantasies are a little more real than others.

There will also undoubtedly be the ones who think "Oh that poor girl". Most probably are so immune to it all now that they really just cannot put any sympathy towards it and really couldn't care less.

The advice that will be given by people who fantasise about rape will not match in any way the advice given on boards specialising in victim support.

There are far more of those types of forums and they can be found via a simple web search.

This is only a good place to start if he is prepared for people to have an open discussion about his friends experience, because however tactless, some people will. This board is focused on the act as a pleasurable subject and not as a bad thing, so it really is probably the worst place to start.

Just my opinion though.
You make some good valid points here.

The thing, I dashed of the reply quickly, so I didn't really explain myself. So here goes.

Some of what I may say may seen a bit naive, but time and experience (ok, oldish age) have taught me to be this way. I take things on the net at face value. Sometimes it is better to trust the wrong person, than not trust at all.

Right, anyway, I don't know if you have read the real rape thread in the idle talk section, but amongst the posts there are number of post detailing their experiences. Ah but they could be false, you are thinking, made up by men masquerading as women. Well, yeah they could be, but I could be a woman masquerading as a man, or you instead of you being Lucy, you could be Alan. So why worry.

Now, a hyperthetical situation, I have a friend who gets raped, I'm not sure where to turn. I'm sitting at my computer idlely flicking through my fav forum when bang, it hits me where I can look for some advice, so I post. Someone, as has been suggested says, google rape crisis centre, I slap my forehead in a d'oh why didn't I think of that manner, and merrily google away.

My problem wasn't with him being told, don't go here, google it, it was with the yawn comment (Sorry Chi, not trying to start anything, just explaining to Lucy)

BTW, believe it or not I know of one person on this forum who has some experience with rape victims...me. Years ago, I found that a girl I knew had been raped, I saw the devestation caused to her, and felt my own confusion and ineptness when dealing with it. Remember this was back in the stone age when the internet didn't really outside in the real world, at least not in my parents house in Grays. Now, you can belive me or not, with the utmost respect, it doesn't bother me either way.
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Old 03-18-2009, 05:25 PM   #19
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yeah I'm jealous too I am seeing a therapist about this murder, but she was telling me about this girl in sydney who got raped, then almost got raped AGAIN in a different incident (trying to illustrate how trauma follows you wherever you move) and all Im thinking is.... what did she do and how do I do it??

but anyway.... I guess all you can do is listen. Definitely dont be a mr fix it.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:18 PM   #20
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Anyway, Socy, let her set the pace. If she wants to talk about it, listen. Encourage her to get therapy, and to get an STD panel done. There is a HUGE difference between fantasy and reality, and anyone that doesn't understand that needs serious help (I mean, the ones who aren't just saying it to get attention).
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