Oscars 2008 Play by Play - Rape Board

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 08:52 PM

GMT

1:30 Good performance by the host John Stewart. Best line was regarding a nomination of Norbit.

"So often the academy ignore movies that aren't good"

1:40 Jennifer Garner doesn't look too bad. Isn't she pregnant? I forget. Clip of Barbara Streisand follows - slight arousal immediately killed.

1:50 Steve Carrell says "shit" for the Animation nominations. Take that, children. Former Simpsons director Brad Bird wins.

1:55 A nervous but staggeringly hot Katherine Heigl presents the next one in a red dress.

1:59 Ugly old woman caught out by the "wrap it up" music. Sucks to be her.

2:07 The Rock presents the visual effects award. He'd better be at Wrestlemania or he's a sell out. Sitting in front of the winners' seats is a man with a handlebar moustache. Seriously.

2:16 A robot presents Best Supporting Actor. Oh...it was actually a human woman, sorry. Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men wins. Thumbs up!

2:22 In a skit for the Oscars if there were no writers, a brief clip of Top Secret is shown where someone is looking at cows through binoculars, and they jump over the black circle. Classic movie!

2:29 Owen Wilson presents Live Action Short Film. No one mention the suicide attempt.

2:38 Tilda Swinton surprisingly wins Best Supporting Actress for Michael Clayton. 13 year old Irish actress Saoirse Ronan had been nominated.

2:44 Jessica Alba presents some awards. Furry purple material blocking view of her breasts, award winners unknown.

3:00 Funny skit with Seth Rogen and his Superbad colleague.

3:06 Clever remark by some sound editing guy. "Is it ok to kiss Halle Berry now?" to Rogen, who was pretending to be Halle, in reference to the Halle/Adrian Brody kiss from the Oscars a few years ago.

3:13 Marson Cotillard wins Best Actress for La Vie En Rose. I think I mistook her for Rose McGowan earlier. Also, now I know where that Specsavers ad came from.

3:24 Jack Nicholson changes out of his shades and keeps the beer belly well hidden. They take us through all 79 best picture winners so far. This may take a while.

3:30 Since dresses for Oscars are always long, Rene Zellweger is the first to show her legs. Unfortunately they've always been pale and boney.

3:36 98 year old Robert F. Boyle makes 25 minute speech.

3:45 Another sappy song. Sierra's words, not mine.

3:50 Irish artist Glen Hansard wins the music thingy, he's The Frames guitarist. His partner only has time to smile when it's her turn to come to the mic, the music is already playing. Priceless.

3:57 Haha, they gave her another chance to say her thank you. Nice moment. She lives in Dublin, Ireland but was born in the Czech Republic.

3:59 Nothing Cameron Diaz has ever said in film or real life makes me laugh. No luck here either.

4:01 Time for the annual downer, all the people that have died. Heath Ledger is the last one. You could have been in there too, Owen.

4:10 Dario Marianelli wins Best Soundtrack for Atonement. I didn't know that category got the split screen build up.

4:13 Some US troops from Iraq give us some nominees. Don't make fun of the war if you're just going to kiss ass later.

4:18 Since we're on documentaries I'd like to say King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007) is one of the best movies I've ever seen. 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, if you don't believe me. So fuck you Oscars.

4:24 Harisson Ford puts on his "Why am I here?" face. Diablo Cody, Best Screenplay winner, is dressed like a Flinstone. Tears! It was only a matter of time.

4:34 Daniel Day-Lewis wins Best Actor in a Leading Role for There Will Be Blood, he had to win. I typed in his name before it was announced.

4:43 Second award of the night for Joel and Ethen Coen, this time for directing No Country For Old Men. Great line by the first guy, saying he hadn't much to add to what he said last time, which was just "thank you."

4:46 Predictable Best Motion Picture win for No Country For Old Men, cool movie.

4:48 Stewart says goodnight.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:00 PM

Hey Rogue! I'm watching too. Let me know if you get too sleepy.

Am I the only person in America who didn't know Jessica Alba was pregnant???

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 10:06 PM

It takes a lot to put me asleep Sierra, but feel free to add your own observations, all the more fun

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:12 PM

Only a few so far.

Katherine Heigl is, indeed, smokingly hot.

Jessica Alba looked like she was going to pop that baby out right there. Is everybody in Hollywood pregnant?

John Stewart is funnier without saying a word tonite than he is on his show. It's all in that wide-eyed innocent glance.

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 10:21 PM

I guess I was wrong about Garner, Stewart didn't mention her in the pregnancy award.

I hope Stephen Colbert does a skit with him.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:22 PM

Seth Rogen and his buddy (whose name escapes me right now) were surprisingly funny.

Did Forrest Wittaker cop a feel from that French actress??? It sure looked like it. She's beautiful, if a little emotional.

Colin Farrell......omg. pant pant Ahem....*Sierra collects her thoughts*

The song "Falling slowly" was sappy, but beautifully done.

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 10:31 PM

So you like handsome Irish men *coughs*

I don't think she'd have noticed in that state, so it was a smart move by Forrest

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:32 PM

Jack Nicholson is starting to be a characature of himself. The good thing is that he knows it and has a sense of humor about it.

Renee Zellweiger is annoying. That voice..... Pretty dress, tho.

Damn, they're rushing them off the stage.

Nichole Kidman is beyond gorgeous tonite. Talk about a glow from pregnancy!!! The necklace was a bit much, but her dress was amazing.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:37 PM

Robert Boyle got an honorary Oscar at age 98. How long will he have to enjoy it. I hope my mind is as clear and I still have a sense of humor at 98. Actually, I hope I don't survive that long. If the music starts, I'm going to turn it off.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rogue

So you like handsome Irish men *coughs*

I like handsome men - if he's Irish on top of it, I'm lost.

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 10:44 PM

I joked about his speech length in my post but you're right, fair play to the guy.

Lot of foreign winners.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:46 PM

Thank God they didn't rush the old guy off the stage.

OMG, but how gorgeous is Penelope Cruz??? Something about that strong Spanish thing, and she actually has curves too.

Now that yummy Patrick Dempsey is announcing a song. Another sexy Irish man.....

I'd do him.

Another sappy song. Can't we have something that isn't snooze-inducing??

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:53 PM

Now they bring on John Travolta, looking a bit less like a pig than usual. Must be good makeup. He hasn't been sexy since Vinnie Barbarino.

Could the winner for Best Song have maybe put on a tie? He looked like he just came from dinner at Denny's. I don't think he expected to win. He looked overwhelmed, which John Stewart remarked on. Very nice.

Joke about John Travolta's 707 being parked illegally. Funny as hell.

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 10:56 PM

And the woman for Best Song walked to the mic, smiled and had to leave! Lmao!

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 10:57 PM

OMFG!!! John Stewart brought the girl back on after she got rushed off!!!! YAY, JOHN!!!

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 11:00 PM

Can Cameron Diaz really be that ditzy? She's one of the few Hollywood stars I'd like to have drinks with. I bet she's a riot.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 11:02 PM

Hilary Swank has a corncob up her ass. She's either very nervous or tranquilized.

Rogue · 02-24-2008, 11:07 PM

Cameron made my jaw drop in The Mask but I never really liked her. I'll never forgive her for The Holiday. Talking to yourself out loud for 40 minutes is NOT entertaining.

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 11:11 PM

Maybe 40 minutes of blathering is foreplay for her? LOL!

Sierra · 02-24-2008, 11:15 PM

Now Tom Hanks. Apparently they are passing out corncobs backstage.

Nice thing getting some of the soldiers in Iraq to announce the award for short documentary. Both girls who got the award were blown away.

02-24-2008, 08:52 PM	#1
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	Oscars 2008 Play by Play GMT 1:30 Good performance by the host John Stewart. Best line was regarding a nomination of Norbit. "So often the academy ignore movies that aren't good" 1:40 Jennifer Garner doesn't look too bad. Isn't she pregnant? I forget. Clip of Barbara Streisand follows - slight arousal immediately killed. 1:50 Steve Carrell says "shit" for the Animation nominations. Take that, children. Former Simpsons director Brad Bird wins. 1:55 A nervous but staggeringly hot Katherine Heigl presents the next one in a red dress. 1:59 Ugly old woman caught out by the "wrap it up" music. Sucks to be her. 2:07 The Rock presents the visual effects award. He'd better be at Wrestlemania or he's a sell out. Sitting in front of the winners' seats is a man with a handlebar moustache. Seriously. 2:16 A robot presents Best Supporting Actor. Oh...it was actually a human woman, sorry. Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men wins. Thumbs up! 2:22 In a skit for the Oscars if there were no writers, a brief clip of Top Secret is shown where someone is looking at cows through binoculars, and they jump over the black circle. Classic movie! 2:29 Owen Wilson presents Live Action Short Film. No one mention the suicide attempt. 2:38 Tilda Swinton surprisingly wins Best Supporting Actress for Michael Clayton. 13 year old Irish actress Saoirse Ronan had been nominated. 2:44 Jessica Alba presents some awards. Furry purple material blocking view of her breasts, award winners unknown. 3:00 Funny skit with Seth Rogen and his Superbad colleague. 3:06 Clever remark by some sound editing guy. "Is it ok to kiss Halle Berry now?" to Rogen, who was pretending to be Halle, in reference to the Halle/Adrian Brody kiss from the Oscars a few years ago. 3:13 Marson Cotillard wins Best Actress for La Vie En Rose. I think I mistook her for Rose McGowan earlier. Also, now I know where that Specsavers ad came from. 3:24 Jack Nicholson changes out of his shades and keeps the beer belly well hidden. They take us through all 79 best picture winners so far. This may take a while. 3:30 Since dresses for Oscars are always long, Rene Zellweger is the first to show her legs. Unfortunately they've always been pale and boney. 3:36 98 year old Robert F. Boyle makes 25 minute speech. 3:45 Another sappy song. Sierra's words, not mine. 3:50 Irish artist Glen Hansard wins the music thingy, he's The Frames guitarist. His partner only has time to smile when it's her turn to come to the mic, the music is already playing. Priceless. 3:57 Haha, they gave her another chance to say her thank you. Nice moment. She lives in Dublin, Ireland but was born in the Czech Republic. 3:59 Nothing Cameron Diaz has ever said in film or real life makes me laugh. No luck here either. 4:01 Time for the annual downer, all the people that have died. Heath Ledger is the last one. You could have been in there too, Owen. 4:10 Dario Marianelli wins Best Soundtrack for Atonement. I didn't know that category got the split screen build up. 4:13 Some US troops from Iraq give us some nominees. Don't make fun of the war if you're just going to kiss ass later. 4:18 Since we're on documentaries I'd like to say King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007) is one of the best movies I've ever seen. 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, if you don't believe me. So fuck you Oscars. 4:24 Harisson Ford puts on his "Why am I here?" face. Diablo Cody, Best Screenplay winner, is dressed like a Flinstone. Tears! It was only a matter of time. 4:34 Daniel Day-Lewis wins Best Actor in a Leading Role for There Will Be Blood, he had to win. I typed in his name before it was announced. 4:43 Second award of the night for Joel and Ethen Coen, this time for directing No Country For Old Men. Great line by the first guy, saying he hadn't much to add to what he said last time, which was just "thank you." 4:46 Predictable Best Motion Picture win for No Country For Old Men, cool movie. 4:48 Stewart says goodnight. __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€ Last edited by Rogue; 02-24-2008 at 11:48 PM.

02-24-2008, 10:00 PM	#2
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Hey Rogue! I'm watching too. Let me know if you get too sleepy. Am I the only person in America who didn't know Jessica Alba was pregnant??? __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:06 PM	#3
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	It takes a lot to put me asleep Sierra, but feel free to add your own observations, all the more fun __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 10:12 PM	#4
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Only a few so far. Katherine Heigl is, indeed, smokingly hot. Jessica Alba looked like she was going to pop that baby out right there. Is everybody in Hollywood pregnant? John Stewart is funnier without saying a word tonite than he is on his show. It's all in that wide-eyed innocent glance. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:21 PM	#5
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	I guess I was wrong about Garner, Stewart didn't mention her in the pregnancy award. I hope Stephen Colbert does a skit with him. __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 10:22 PM	#6
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Seth Rogen and his buddy (whose name escapes me right now) were surprisingly funny. Did Forrest Wittaker cop a feel from that French actress??? It sure looked like it. She's beautiful, if a little emotional. Colin Farrell......omg. pant pant Ahem....Sierra collects her thoughts The song "Falling slowly" was sappy, but beautifully done. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:31 PM	#7
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	So you like handsome Irish men coughs I don't think she'd have noticed in that state, so it was a smart move by Forrest __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 10:32 PM	#8
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Jack Nicholson is starting to be a characature of himself. The good thing is that he knows it and has a sense of humor about it. Renee Zellweiger is annoying. That voice..... Pretty dress, tho. Damn, they're rushing them off the stage. Nichole Kidman is beyond gorgeous tonite. Talk about a glow from pregnancy!!! The necklace was a bit much, but her dress was amazing. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:37 PM	#9
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Robert Boyle got an honorary Oscar at age 98. How long will he have to enjoy it. I hope my mind is as clear and I still have a sense of humor at 98. Actually, I hope I don't survive that long. If the music starts, I'm going to turn it off. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:44 PM	#11
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	I joked about his speech length in my post but you're right, fair play to the guy. Lot of foreign winners. __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 10:46 PM	#12
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Thank God they didn't rush the old guy off the stage. OMG, but how gorgeous is Penelope Cruz??? Something about that strong Spanish thing, and she actually has curves too. Now that yummy Patrick Dempsey is announcing a song. Another sexy Irish man..... I'd do him. Another sappy song. Can't we have something that isn't snooze-inducing?? __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:53 PM	#13
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Now they bring on John Travolta, looking a bit less like a pig than usual. Must be good makeup. He hasn't been sexy since Vinnie Barbarino. Could the winner for Best Song have maybe put on a tie? He looked like he just came from dinner at Denny's. I don't think he expected to win. He looked overwhelmed, which John Stewart remarked on. Very nice. Joke about John Travolta's 707 being parked illegally. Funny as hell. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 10:56 PM	#14
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	And the woman for Best Song walked to the mic, smiled and had to leave! Lmao! __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 10:57 PM	#15
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	OMFG!!! John Stewart brought the girl back on after she got rushed off!!!! YAY, JOHN!!! __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 11:00 PM	#16
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Can Cameron Diaz really be that ditzy? She's one of the few Hollywood stars I'd like to have drinks with. I bet she's a riot. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 11:02 PM	#17
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Hilary Swank has a corncob up her ass. She's either very nervous or tranquilized. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 11:07 PM	#18
Rogue Immoral Irishman Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,344 Reputation: 20982	Cameron made my jaw drop in The Mask but I never really liked her. I'll never forgive her for The Holiday. Talking to yourself out loud for 40 minutes is NOT entertaining. __________________ â€œBefore you criticize a woman, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize her, you are a mile away and you have her shoes.â€

02-24-2008, 11:11 PM	#19
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Maybe 40 minutes of blathering is foreplay for her? LOL! __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

02-24-2008, 11:15 PM	#20
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	Now Tom Hanks. Apparently they are passing out corncobs backstage. Nice thing getting some of the soldiers in Iraq to announce the award for short documentary. Both girls who got the award were blown away. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.