[Fae]

I'm rather with death2Uall on this one. Maybe it''s because I am on the victim side of this fetish but I came to terms with this side of my personality a long time ago. To me it's a reflection of baser emotions. Fear, power or overpowered, dominance, a large dose of pain fetish in there too, and an attraction to the forbidden.

To break it down a bit more. Enjoying fear is an adrenaline response. It's why people enjoy horror movies. It's why people willingly jump out of airplanes. The physical response to being afraid is a rush of adrenaline that gets the heart going and makes a person feel more alive. Human nature.

Feeling like I am being overpowered. Frankly I am something of a control freak. It is really hard for me to give up being in control but feels really good when someone takes control from me. A situation like rape fantasies is the idea of control being forcibly taken from me. In fantasies and in my sex life I really like not being the one in control.

Dominance, well it kind of goes hand and hand with the last one. There aren't a lot of guys who can give me orders and not have me smirk and do my own thing so having a guy force me to actually do what he wants kind of makes me over come that suborn, overly independent streak in me that gets in the way of letting a guy take charge in my life.

Pain fetish: Pain and sex pretty much go hand and hand for me. Every other sensation increases after pain. It kind of makes sense as a physical response to survival. Every sense is more alert and my body is more responsive looking to see if there is an actual threat out there. That's the primal purpose of feeling pain. Over the years certain types of pain and sex have just become more and more linked for me so having someone inflict pain on me is just a turn on.

And lastly it's kind of human nature to be attracted by the forbidden. If you tell a child they can't have something, what happens? They want it all the more. Since the idea of forced sex is taboo that it becomes something people fantasize about more. There isn't exactly a lot of taboo left in our society. It's not really surprising people are attracted to this on that respect either.

As far as I am concerned all of the emotions I feel regarding this fetish are human nature. I suspect if you broke down the aggressor end of the fetish as well it would probably be the same but I don't really get that end of the fetish the same way. As long common sense keeps me out of the more dangerous ways I can play out this fantasy, and I don't loose sight of the fantasy vs reality of rape I'm not worried. The nice thing is that this is a common enough fetish I can usually find others to play out my fantasies with and beyond that guilt doesn't serve me much purpose. It sure doesn't have to do with Satan and it is much more human that it ever will be "anti-human".