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Old 07-01-2009, 09:01 PM   #5
Flesh4Fantasy
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Very Nice. + Rep and 4 Stars

I didn't think there was too much build up. You did a good job establishing the characters. I like the stream of consciousness style of the writing. Plot, motive, action, emotion: all the elements fully explored and revealed.

I, however, am a stickler for editing... And I did make allowance for the stream of consciousness narration in that it allows the writer to borrow non-standard grammar and word usage. Still, there could have been less misspellings. That is why I withheld the 5th star. And it is not personal, just my particular policy as you may notice from reading my reviews of other' stories.

That's the reviewer... As a reader - that was HOT. I really enjoyed it and look forward to more.

Thank You again for sharing with us here on RB.
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