I´ve read the posts here and I´d like to say something.
I suffered an attempted rape in my way back home from high school when I was 16. I was an ugly duckling those days and that was the first time a man touched me and kissed me. I felt confused about it. I wished to be raped if it was the only way a boy put his eyes on me. But after all, I was scared about being hurt, so I did not put myself in a dangerous situation.
I had to go through the place I was attacked every day. I remembered the attack every day. A few times I went to the exact place where I was ravished. If someone came, I run away. I didn´t know if I wanted to be raped or not. Fortunately I wasn´t.
Today I still fantasize about that attack would have ended in rape. I get excited thinking about my own rape. And I get excited thinking in real life situations that could end in rape. Even I wish to be raped. But then I think it twice and decide I´m not going to take risks of being hurt.
I love to be an object of desire for men, and fantasize about being raped, but I won´t be able to put myself in a real dangerous place.
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Meet me in your dark dreams.
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