[mywifeJen]

I was raped when I was 16 years old by my best friend Melanie's Dad who also was a sheriff's deputy.

I had been all day at Melanie's birthday party and we had been in our bikinis the whole day at their pool. Her Dad had always been nice to me but really almost too nice and flirty the way 40 year old men should not be with a 16 year old. Looking back several times he would take pictures of us but then he always seemed to find me alone where he would want me to pose so he could get pics of me but never where his wife or daughter would see him.

Well, the party was about over and I didn't have a car so her Dad was going to drive me home. Mel normally would have gone with us but she had too much sun and had thrown up and was staying home. Then he offered to take me home by boat because with traffic he said it would be quicker and much more fun. I guess had I been wiser I could have sensed something wasn't right but then I guess I felt safe because of who he was.

We take off in the boat and he veers off to the pass and says he wants to see how many boats were out that day. I just accept it but soon we are through the pass and out into the gulf and there are no other boats around. Derek stops the boat and tells me he wants to take some pictures. I was feeling quite weird about this again its not like he hasn't taken pictures before in my bikini. He tells me I should be a professional model. He also thinks I should be a dancer/stripper and tells me he knows the owner of Sammy’s (a strip club on the island) and can make sure I get the premium shifts to make the most money. He tells me to take off my shorts and tank top so he can take pictures of me in my bikini. He gets out his camera and one of the old VHS cameras and sets it up to make a movie of me. I just stood there and told him I just want to go home. He became more persuasive saying this would help me get started "in the business" and he could show the manager at Sammy’s my pictures. I just wanted to make him stop so I said "okay, just a few pictures but then I need to get home" and I took off my tank top and shorts and felt so naked standing in front of him alone in my tiny bikini but I could tell he was really pleased. Several times I saw him touching himself but I tried not to notice. He took his shirt off and asked if I liked his body. I was really feeling uncomfortable and asked again to just be taken home. He then told me to take off my bikini because the Sammy’s manager would want to see me without my clothes on. He just kept telling me to "do it for the camera" and that I needed to look good that I was now in a movie. I was really getting scared and started to plead for him to take me home. He was still filming but then put down his camera on the deck and carefully positioned it so as to film us and removed his shorts. He was very turned on and he wanted me to see it. He was getting very angry and told me to think carefully how I should obey him because otherwise no one would ever find my body. He held me against him and eventually he was able to get his mouth on mine. I knew that he was capable if carrying out his threat and I was so scared that I just closed my eyes and kissed him back. I think I hoped he might ease up and realize that he was acting badly but instead he kissed me harder and deeper and his hands began to remove my bikini and things escalated so rapidly that he had me on the floor of the boat on my back with his face between my legs. I just lay there and tried to imagine I was already home and how maybe someone would come up to rescue me.

He took his time until he eventually worked my body into an orgasm. He got up and left me laying there in the floor of the boat as he went to get us beers. He was suddenly drinking and being very chatty and he showered me with compliments that I have an incredible body and how beautiful I look and how I needed to be the wife of someone important and have babies. He told me he wanted to leave his wife and sail away to live on his boat with me. It seemed that things were getting better but I wasn’t drinking the beer and when he saw this his mood seemed to darken and he told me to that if I wasn’t going to talk and drink his beer then he would show me how to put my mouth to good use. I was afraid of the look in his eyes so I did as he wanted. I really thought that if I could please him and make him think I was going along with his plan that he would take me home and this would all be over. He sat there with his arms over the back railings of the boat as I performed oral sex on him. Eventually he came and it got all over me and the deck of the boat. He was so angry that I wouldn't swallow him and made a huge mess all over the deck that he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me down in the ship’s galley where he handcuffed me face down on the bed.

For me psychologically this was the worse part. I could hear him turning through charts and figured he was looking for the right place to leave my body. He didn’t talk to me again for several hours and it was now very dark outside. He kept checking his VHS camera to make sure it was ready again and turned it on. He then sat on the edge of the bed and asked me to look into the camera, “Are you having fun, Jen?” I can remember feeling the anger inside of me but I tried to remain calm. I answered that it could be better if I wasn’t handcuffed. He answered that it was just part of the “game” and that he would release me soon. He asked me how many times I had “goofed around” with my boyfriends. I figured he meant had sex but I didn’t want to go back down that road so I answered something like we always like to go places and have fun. Then I could feel that change in him as he grabbed my hair and put his mouth next to my ear and whispered, “No not that I mean f***** you. How many times have they used your little c***..your sweet little p****...a girl with a body like that does not remain a virgin long.” My mind raced and I quickly just blurted out that I had been sexually active three times. I suppose I could have said I was a virgin and maybe I should have tried that. Likely Mel might have told him I wasn’t a virgin. Not sure which is the right thing to say. He then wanted names. I hadn’t expected this and remember feeling sweaty and cold and just sick. He started naming guys that Mel and I would know from school and I picked one or two and told him I sometimes had sex with them. He seemed to begin to lose it again talking about girls having sex in high school and I could hear the anger in his voice. He began to talk about how I looked in my clothes and the bikinis I would wear. He told me he masturbated all the time looking at my pictures and then he carefully placed the camera where it could film us. He pulled me down the bed as far as my arms would let him since I was still handcuffed to the top of the bed and he put a pillow under my stomach to elevate me and then spit and began working his fingers inside me. I then felt his weight on top of me as he pushed inside me. I cried for him to stop and this really enraged him and he grabbed my throat and proceeded to choke me as he whispered the most horrible things into my ear. He wanted me to tell him to be harder or that I loved him...or that I was just a sl*t w**re then he would release his grip and I would say what he wanted only to again feel his hand tighten as I fought to breath.

As he finished I could again sense that he had changed. He lay beside me and rubbed my back and asked me where I wanted to sail to next. He talked about getting supplies and buying me clothes and jewelry which was all so strange considering I was still laying on my stomach my arms above my head with my wrists handcuffed. He left me and I could hear him making something to eat and getting another beer. He played with the video camera and started a movie on the TV and took off the handcuffs. We sat in his bed and ate sandwiches and I actually drank the beer he offered in what was the surreal 2 hours watching "Back to the Future." He held me and eventually I dozed off I was so exhausted from the birthday party and from the alcohol. I awoke to his kissing my mouth and pushing his tongue into my mouth. He became more aggressive and began biting over my breasts and down my stomach. He became more verbal again calling me horrible names and again rolled me onto my stomach and forcing my hands above my head he handcuffed me to the bed. He then sodomized me. This was horribly brutal as he grabbed my throat and squeezed and some point I lost consciousness.

I awoke and he was in the shower. He took off the handcuffs and got me off the bed and led me to the shower and left me alone for the first time all night as I tried to shower all of his sex off my body. He had laid out my clothes from the bag I had brought to his daughter's birthday. The boat was moving and he yelled down for me to come up on deck. He was like a completely different man as he chatted about the party and his daughter and how he hoped we would go to college together. When we got to my grandparents dock it was about 8 in the morning. My assault on his boat had lasted all night. He walked me up to the house and came in like nothing happened. I went to shower again and I could hear him in there having breakfast and talking with my grandfather. I locked my door and cried myself to sleep. Later my mother commented on how tired I looked and that I must have stayed up after the party all night. She actually grounded me from staying with a friend for a month.

My family is hyper-religious and there is just no place for any talk of sexuality. I basically had no avenues to report the rape and I was very fearful that he would come back for me to do this again or even kill me or my family.