As with most of the other respondents, it is the violence for me. In that I would not just include the initial struggle and beating needed to subdue and dominate her, but the hours and perhaps days/weeks of slow physical and psychological torture I submit her to. Since the torture can last much longer, it can engender more of a feeling of hopelessness in the victim.
Also the buzz I feel when I torture her is less intense but longer lasting compared to what I feel when I am raping her. Even with an optimistic assessment of my sexual staying power, the sex is only a fraction of time spent engaged with her. So if I had to pick one or the other it would be the violence.
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