What a mess this thread turned into.
Even so, I think it's a great question, clan_hunter..... thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by clan_hunter
Thought i would bring this question over to here to share..Like i said i had never come across a member that felt this way before so i am now wondering if there are lots of people out there that also feel that fantasy is fantasy only and that they will not even consider basic experimenting and keep there fantasy in there heads?
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I had very serious and very dark rape fantasies starting from the young age of ten years old. I came to terms with many things right from the start.. mainly that most other little girls my age didn't feel the same way (as far as I could tell)... and for that matter, neither did the little boys I knew. (Such a bummer!) Also, that there was a big difference between fantasy and reality. I knew I wasn't self-destructive and (thankfully) I knew I wasn't demented for having these desires.
Throughout my 20s and 30s, I indulged myself in such fantasies only in private. I never dared tell any of my friends, lovers, one-night-stands, or either of two husbands what I truly longed for because it's way too easy for a man to exploit this predilection against our wishes. How many guys would honestly take note of some sweet young lady confiding that she has serious rape fantasies without thinking...., "oh, really?" The temptation for even a vanilla guy to use this advantage he would then have is very great -- and for a woman to guess wrong when it comes to trustworthiness is dangerous as hell.
I remember a VERY close friend and somewhat casual sex partner ask what my all-time favorite sexual fantasy was. I came so close to telling him the whole truth even though I knew he would have been shocked. But did I? Oh hell no. Given the chance.. I balked. I laughed it off by saying my greatest sexual fantasy involves a "harem" of old, black men. THAT was the first thing I could think of that: (1) most importantly, didn't include him as a possibility (a single white guy), (2) that didn't center around me being forced, dominated, or used.... which is what I have always fantasized about, and (3) was off-the-wall enough that he'd know I was kidding.
It wasn't until much later that I dared explore this with anyone in a personal relationship.