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Old 07-20-2014, 09:45 PM   #2
CaptiveSoul
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 63
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Don't worry too much about labeling yourself. People tend to want to draw hard dividing lines and define categories of hetero/bi/homosexuality, but it's really more of a continuum. The best-known description of this is the Kinsey Scale, first published in the late 1940's. The Wikipedia article is a good starting point.

Quote:
Today, many sexologists see the Kinsey scale as relevant to sexual orientation but not comprehensive enough to cover all sexual identity issues. They suggest that sexual identity involves at least three different spectra, sexual orientation being only one of them (two others being biological sex and gender identity).
My own experience suggests an additional identity spectrum with a consensual/forced range, operating at least somewhat independently of gender/sex identity.

I also have had fantasies heavy on force and nonconsensual elements since I was very young (see this post in the "scene that got you started" thread), usually but not always with myself as the victim, and for most of my life they involved exclusively females in either role. My fantasies of women range from hugs-and-kisses sweetness at one end through extreme S&M scenarios at the other, but I have never had any interest at all in vanilla sex with other males. In recent years, though, I've found the fantasy of being raped by other males unexpectedly arousing. It took me a while to come to terms with this myself. The excitement of this element isn't driven by sexual desire exactly. My victim fantasies are all about helplessness, the feeling of being absolutely powerless in the hands of someone who I know is going to torture and rape and do perverse things to me that I am completely unable to stop. Having the rapist be another man adds an additional layer of violation for me, a thing that I would struggle against and resist desperately, without even the whisper of I really want this that would be in my mind with a woman doing it. The fact that it is happening to me is the ultimate demonstration of my absolute helplessness, and that element overrides my gender preference and arouses me. It's the kind of fear/desire paradox that plays in many of our rape fantasies, and it is confusing.

That's me, anyway. It might (and probably does) come from a completely different place for you. Maybe you're on a different spot on the Kinsey Scale than you thought, or not. Maybe your fantasy self is getting the payback he deserves for all those girls he's raped in your mind, or not. Who knows. The main thing is that it's fantasy, and needn't have anything to do with real life.
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Everything I post here, whether text or imagery, relates to fantasy imaginings, and not to what I would want to actually happen to people in real life.
I generally don't do the friending thing much on message boards, but feel free to PM me if you want.

Profile: Male / Single / Middle-aged / Midwest USA / Fantasize as either victim or perpetrator
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