An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs. When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!" She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you."
Where upon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.
The old woman says, you're going out like that?" and he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a d*ck-tator."
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