[Sweetlust]

I stood there, transfixed by the text message displayed on my cellphone. I knew the truth long before I read it. It had been part of my entire life and now it was laid bare for a stranger to see. Any and every emotion that could spew forth drenched my mind and my heart. I wanted to cry, to scream to rail against the unfairness of life, but who was listening? I was well and truly alone. With that cold, clear missive, my world had been dismissed. I was no longer of any use to my father. I was part of the collateral damage that often followed in the wake of my father’s drive toward power. But it wasn’t simply me that suffered.

People lay dead or dying and we would soon join them, if my father had his way. These pathetic, foolhardy men had stumbled into the nightmare that was Tom Banacek. I should have resigned myself to the inevitable. I looked up at the man standing beside me. I hated him and his cronies. I hated my mother for being weak and needy—giving me to a monster whose shadow would forever taint my life. I hated myself for being stupid enough to think that for once I mattered. This man was the only epitaph I would have unless I could change the tide of destruction coming our way.

“Your name is Nick.” was all I uttered. It wasn’t a question. Just for a millisecond I saw terrible emotion flash across his weathered features. I wanted no part of it. What I did want was to live. This man was going to give me that whether he wanted to or not. I sighed heavily. “Now you know, Nick. You and your friends should have chosen a lot better victims. It seems we are now all victims of my father and I would say, we don’t have long. I hope this fuck was worth it. I hope that poor dead girl in there was worth it, and my friend Ana. I hope we were all worth it.” I gave a tremulous little laugh of anxiety. To my own ears it sounded insane. Maybe I had more of my father in me than I thought.

“You Banaceks are fucking nuts.” He growled, yanking the phone from my hand and throwing it against the nearest wall. It cracked into bits of plastic and metal as it clattered to the floor. “Look, nobody else is going to die today. SHIT!” turning from me, he pounded a balled up fist against the door of the room Monique and the other bastard were in. I shrank away from him. I was no longer afraid, but the anger blazing off him was intense. I could feel it like a wave of hot flames. He pulled me toward the entrance of the cabin just as the sound of gunfire penetrated the air. “What the hell?” his eyes turned to the direction the sound came from as we stopped dead in our tracks.

“What’s going on? Oh…god! What’s happening?” I cried.

“Fuck if I know!” he replied in a tone of annoyance, anger and surprise. Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, the remaining man burst in through the entrance of the cabin.

“REY! NICK! FUCK IT! LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” he was yelling, sweat rolled down his face as his eyes wildly darted about as he tried to catch his breath. His shirt was hanging out and his jeans were unzipped. I shuddered to think of what he’d done to Ana.

“Tim, what the fuck is going on out there?” Nick let go of me to steady his partner.

“Shit man, I haven’t got a fucking clue, but that bitch I was banging—they—they shot her! One fucking bullet right in her forehead. If I hadn’t stopped to take a piss, they’d have shot me, too! COME ON! FUCK THESE BITCHES! WE’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!” the shorter man yelled again.

“GET A FUCKING GRIP TIM!” Nick growled, balling up his fist as if he was going to belt the other guy. I stood glued in my tracks watching the interplay between the two men. I had no idea who my father had sent, but I knew one thing, we were all dead unless we worked to get out of this place. “The trouble is her crazy ass father, Tom Banacek. Dude’s got hitmen on the payroll and he sent them to take us all out.” Nick tried to explain.

“Banacek? Banacek? D’you mean that old git trying to run for office? Wait…this bitch’s father? He’s trying to kill us?” Tim asked in disbelief. “Why the hell would he want to kill his own kid? How the fuck did he find us?” he shook his head.

“It’s a long story. We need to do something and fast, or we’re all toast.” Nick dismissed the other man’s questions with a swipe of his hand. Instead he asked a question and pulled his hand gun from his waist band. He examined his gun while we stood there.

“Where’s Rey? I’m not going out like this!” the other man looked toward the first bedroom.

“Ahh…shit….Rey. He’s dead.”

“Wait, wait—you mean those fuckers took him out?”

“Not exactly. Rey fucked himself over. Horse. Killed the girl, shot her up, too.” He continued to examine his gun as if it would give him something to focus on other than the carnage behind that bedroom door.

“What the hell? FUCK! I told him to leave that shit alone when we had a job to fucking do! DAMMIT!” the man looked around in disgust. “Well…robbery…raping some stupid bitch…that’s all it should have been! I’m not fucking going down for murder!” he yelled.

“Nobody’s going down for murder. But those guys out there don’t intend to leave any witnesses. I still have the keys to this one’s car.” He gave me a dirty look.

“Great, let’s get the hell out of here. Come on! Forget the split-tail.” The other man moved toward the kitchen.

“Not that way! They’ll be looking for us to make a break. Out the side window in her room.” He nodded to me. He grabbed me by the wrist. “Come on!”

“Wait—“I stood my ground, trying to pull away from him.

“Wait—“the other man was just as surprised as I was at Nick’s obvious intent to bring me along.

“What?” Nick gave us an annoyed look.

“She stays. We’ve got enough trouble.” The man snarled.

“Little Miss Banacek comes with us. She might not be worth much to her father alive right now, but she will come in handy to bring that bastard Banacek down! She stays with us.” his look brooked no argument. The ‘criminal’ was back. The man who momentarily saw my pain was gone. I hardened my face.

“Well, you fucking babysit her then!” Tim spat.

“Let’s go, here Tim—take Rey’s gun.” Nick handed it to the man called Tim. He tossed my purse lying on the floor at me. “You’ll need that when we shake these guys.”

Tim took the gun with practiced ease, checking to make sure it was loaded. We headed to the room I’d been in to make our escape. Nick strode to the bed, picked up his bag and pulled out several metallic bits and handed them to Tim.

“Here, take the sparkplugs. You make a run for her car, the gray one. I’ll cover you. Just leave the door open so we can get in fast. Got it?” he seemed to take control now. If he was rattled, I couldn’t tell.

We climbed as stealthily as possible out of the window. Tim dropped to the ground and darted toward my car. Quietly opening the door, he popped the hood and installed the plugs. Signaling us that the coast was clear, Tim left the front driver’s door open as he hopped in the backseat.

Nick edged out the window next, making sure none of my father’s goons were about. He landed softly onto the ground. Raising his arms to catch me, I wondered at his taking the time to make sure I got out safely. He could have left me to suffer, yet he didn’t do that. Maybe he believed me about my father’s disloyalty.

“Come on.” His gruffly ordered as I stuck one leg out the window. Easing out, I didn’t care that my dress was pushed up past my thighs showing my bottom minus panties. They had been destroyed as he raped me. The thought sent flutters of anger through me, but now was not the time to fight him. I shook myself free of the thought and climbed out. Just as I landed, his hands on my hips to ease me down, I felt the wind knocked out of me and heard him groaning as a dark clothed figure pounced on him. Nick fell to the ground, winded from his attacker. The man pummeled him knocking the gun from his hand.

The two men tussled with one another, I cringed in fear. Tim stayed in the car, looking for other hit men. I could hear him yelling something. I didn’t know what to do. I could have jumped in the car and driven off. Nick had dropped the keys. I could hear the thud of their punches, the crunch of bones and the painful sounds of a severe beatdown.

“Oh…god! Oh…god!” I whispered, edging around them. I wanted the keys, but then saw the gun. Nick’s gun. I knew it was loaded. Without thinking, I picked it up. The hitman was astride Nick, landing blow after blow. Nick’s face was bloody. The guy reached for his own weapon at his side. He grasped pressed the barrel against Nick’s forehead.

“Say good bye motherfucker!” the man crowed. Just as he pulled at the trigger, I pulled mine. The shot echoed through the area. It struck him in the back of the head. He fell against Nick. I could hear the shouts of men.

“NO…! Come on…please…please get up! They’re coming!” I scrambled to push the dead man off Nick and help him stand. “Can you see?” I asked, not sure why it mattered to me if he was alright. His face was a mess, but he was conscious and able to drive. He stumbled to the car once he was up and moving.

“Yeah…let’s get the fuck out of here!” he rasped. I climbed in, then he followed me. We pulled off just as the men rounded the corner. Bullets flew as they shot at us. Nick was an expert driver, swerving to dodge the bullets; he managed to drive us out of the woods surrounding the cabin.

A few hours later:

I was too nervous and keyed up to sleep as we drove on for miles. I didn’t know where we were, but I suspected we were near the border as the signs read in English and Spanish.

Both Nick and Tim were silent as we drove. Tim slept fitfully. Nick just concentrated on driving, ignoring me. We stopped once at a rest stop. Nick didn’t trust me not to do a runner. He followed me to the ladies room and waited outside until I came out. Tim bought sandwiches and coffee. The men sat on the ground outside the car talking in low tones. I sat in the car and devoured my food. I was hungry, tired, scared and angry. I was also confused. Before long, Nick got back into the car and started the engine. We pulled off leaving Tim.

“Wait…what about him?” I turned to see the man called Tim walking back to the rest stop.

“Don’t worry about him. He always lands on his feet. We’ll rendezvous in a few days, when your father starts looking in the wrong places for us. You and I are going to take a couple of detours, get some cash and lead Banacek on a merry chase. After that….I have got one fucking clue.” His tone brooked no refusal and pretty much told me he as not telling me anything more. I sat quietly as we drove. Soon I fell asleep. Normally I wouldn’t have, but I was exhausted. We stopped at a few out of the way places and withdrew small amounts of cash from an account I used for emergencies. It contained about $50,000 dollars. I noted Nick kept most of the money I’d drawn out. I suspected he’d give Tim his cut. Not much, but better than nothing. At this moment I didn’t care as long as I was safe.

The next time I woke up we were pulling onto a dusty road in the middle of nowhere. We passed several small houses before we ended up at the end of a lane. The house was secluded. It was more a shack than a house. If my father couldn’t find us, then I was fine with it.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” Nick made sure the park the car in a garage behind the little house. He didn’t want anyone getting suspicious at the fancy car pulled up outside. We walked inside. The place was dusty and smelled old.

“You want a beer or something?” he asked. I shook my head. I wanted a shower and bed. I wanted my life back and I didn’t want my life back. I wanted to escape, but to where? Anyone who knew my father would turn me over to him without question. I suppose I was suffering some type of shock. He probably thought I was going to lose it right now—freak out. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do; I was wound so tight. “Well…bedroom’s on the right, in there. Shower’s at the back of the cabin—not much else.” He noted my forlorn look. “You can take the bed; I’ll sleep on the sofa.” He offered.

I simply nodded my head like a mute thing. He left me sitting on the worn sofa staring at my hands. They were shaking. I heard Nick go into the kitchen. Soon there were sounds of him searching through cabinets. He returned with food and drink.

We finished off the sandwiches as he drank a beer while I had water. Neither of us spoke. Even when he showed me the shower, he said as little as possible. I said nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘thank you’. He left a towel and, what I suspected was one his T-shirts, in the bathroom. I cleaned up as best I could. My hair was a dust and sweat filled tangle. It was normally wavy, now it was a nest of tangles. Using my fingers I tried to manage it. By the time I finished my hair was still unruly, but it was clean. The T-shirt hung just below my thighs.

“At least it’s better than naked.” I sighed to the empty bathroom. I wandered back to the living room of sorts holding my torn dress. I would toss it out later. Curling up on the sofa, I felt unshed tears and a ball of misery in my gut. I felt old and worn. I never heard him go into bathroom, but looked up in surprise when he sat down beside me. He was freshly showered. I could smell the mix of fresh soap and his unique male scent. He wore a clean wife-beater and sweatpants. I didn’t want to look at him. I huddled in the corner.

“You can have the bed.” He said without preamble. Then he seemed to be at a loss. “Look, try to get some sleep. Nobody’s gonna…uh...hurt you.” He finished softly, then stood up and extended a hand to help me sit up. I shook my hand and curled up even tighter in the corner. I didn’t want anything to do with him. After a minute or two. He left me alone.

I pulled the thin blanket from the back of the sofa around me. Soon, muffled sounds of him on a cellphone drifted from the bedroom. Vaguely, I wondered, who would he be calling at this time of night? Deciding it was better to not know, I tried to relax. As impossible as it seemed, exhaustion finally won out. Drifting into a fitful sleep, I found myself floundering from one nightmare to the next. I was being raped by massive giants, cocks filled my mouth, my cunt, my ass. I was chased by vicious dogs and men, shot at and stabbed. I felt myself scream as my father’s laughing face filled the room, calling me a useless, stupid whore. Just like your mother—worthless cunt! I woke in a cold sweat. My heart pounded as if it would burst through my chest at any moment.

My mouth felt dry. I sat up. I was alone. Alone. My father had turned on me. My mother would hide behind him. My brothers believed in my father like some kind of demi-god. I had no friends that weren’t friends of my family. My coworkers feared me or avoided me. I felt myself begin to shake. It was a surreal feeling, as if I was floating outside myself and watching myself simultaneously. Then I felt the hot tears sliding down my face.

What did I have? Not one friend I could count on and the closest thing I had to friends were Ana and Monique and they were gone. They were gone because of the Banacek name, greed and power. I stood up and blindly walked to the back room. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just didn’t want to be alone or hurt.

“Nick—“I whispered. It was the first time I spoke his name. He rose up on his elbows. I supposed he had to be a light sleeper given his criminal activities, or maybe he just didn’t sleep. Whatever the case had been, he was awake now.”Please…help me…please…” I stammered like a nervous child, unable to get the words out! I needed someone or something to tell me that I was going to get through this nightmare.

He didn’t say a word. He merely pulled the covers back and indicated I should get in with him. Like a robot I moved forward. I don’t know how I got in, but I did. I felt his strong arms wrap around me. I looked up into his eyes. Before I knew what he was doing, his mouth came down to capture mine. The kiss wasn’t gentle. He seemed to know what I needed without me saying it. I kissed him back with a passion to match his. We tried to devour one another. His hands gripped my hips, my arms pulling me tight. His hands rose to run his fingers through my hair, yanking my head back to kiss a heated trail down the sensitive column of my neck. It made me involuntarily shiver and press my breasts against him. I rubbed the hardening tips of my nipples against his hot flesh.

“Unnnh….!” I uttered a deep moan when his teeth grazed my skin. My hands gripped at his arms, his hip and anything else I could grasp. Nick’s body was taut as a wire ready to spring. Reaching down to pull one of my legs over his own, keeping it trapped there.

I don’t know what was happening to me. I just needed someone to tell me I would survive—that I mattered. If it had to be Nick, I no longer cared. We had both been tools, used and discarded by my father.

“You sure about this?” he whispered darkly. It was strange hearing him ‘ask’ me rather than order me around. At the cabin it had been forced, brutal and full of hatred—directed at my father but hatred nonetheless. He’d done all he could to frighten and humiliate me. Now, unbelievably, I wanted him—my rapist and enemy--to take me. I wanted Nick to fuck me, and this time I would be a willing whore.

“Yes. I want it.” I paused for a second. In the dimness of the room, I couldn’t see his facial expression clearly. Now, it made no difference what he thought about me. I didn’t care at that moment. I rose up far enough to kiss his throat at the base. “Yes. I want it. I need it.” My own voice sounded so foreign to me.

Was I only acting on instinct, like some animal in heat? Maybe. I was protecting myself. I wanted this, hard and relentless. Flesh against flesh. Heat against heat. I heard him groan. I don’t know if it was part resignation, part desire…or even a bit of anger. He placed a finger under my chin; jerking my face back up as his mouth took mine again. This time he growled, plunging his tongue into my mouth. There was nothing sweet or easy about this kiss. There was no love, no hate, just pure lust—with a purpose.