[Sternenlied]

Well, Goatboy, I can understand your feelings on this.
Afterall our reason tells us rape is a violent and horrible crime we shouldn't be fantasising about, let alone be turned on by. Still we know fantasies don't necessarily pose a danger to anybody and should (as well as can) be enjoyed.
Now ... I am not saying you are, keep that in mind, please ... paedophiliacs feel pretty much the same way. They fantasise about children and they know it's wrong. Difference is, with them, it's an urge they can't control forever - no matter how hard they try - until they finally act on it.
So you being careful, even doubtful maybe, is not only understandable but in my opinion also very healthy and sensible.
However ... as long as you're "only" getting aroused by stories you are told and not by the thought of actually doing it I don't think you should punish yourself so hard by calling yourself a pervert, although many people might think you are.

Don't get me wrong ... getting aroused by people's real rape experiences isn't something I'd call totally alright but that's only my own personal opinion, nothing professional.