Posted by LuvNLust
The stogie is nearing it's end as I take another long drag, the embers smoldering and glowing, the nicotine soothing my nerves once more... and after that puff, I know the memories will start flooding back in - they always fucking do, I can't shut them out. Damn, a drink right now would feel soooo good - ahhh, the feeling of an ice cold beer gushing in, running down my throat, warming my stomach, washing away the pain...
I see Ray wiping out the small fire, smothering it until it's life is gone. Jesus, he didn't even fuckin' flinch - good for him. They always say, no pain no gain - shit, I don't know about that anymore *taking another long drag... flicking the ashes away... flicking, flicking! harder and harder...* No matter how much you try you just can't get rid of all of it... the memories always seem to remain... *another flashback sets in...*
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I see my wife walking into our apartment at 4:00 am, as I've been sitting and staring at the front door for nearly three fucking hours. Beer bottles are strewn everywhere, along with a finished pack of cigarettes. Her hair is messed up and her clothes disheveled - it's not hard to tell what she was doing... even though I knew, I ask anyways "Where the fuck have you been? You said you had to work late and would be home by 10:00!" Brushing her hair and adjusting her clothes, she said nothing, couldn't even look at me, just looked away. I then hold up the cell phone she had left at home, displaying a text message from her boss... the damning evidence...
"Amber, you've been seeing this fucking asshole for six fucking months??? I can't believe it! *throwing the phone against the wall, shattering it everywhere* How could you do this to me! I loved you! More than anything!"....
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