People who state the obvious.

Dentists are good at that. "Yeah you need a filling in that tooth" he says. I try to say "Yeah that's why I'm here you moron, tell me something I don't fucking know" but it comes out garbled because of the weapons he is poking my gums with.

Doctors too do it all the time. Like when my wife had a scare when she found a lump (thankfully it came to nothing) and we went to the Doctor. She used to smoke but gave them up by the age of 30 almost 20 years ago, but the Doc still had to give her the fucking lecture on how smoking is bad. For fuck sake Doc, we knew that 20 years ago and that's why she gave up smoking!

Those stupid signs that state the obvious.

One time at a truck stop mens room I seen one that read "Toilets and urinals use reclaimed water. Do not drink."
For fuck sake, like anyone would want to drink water from a toilet it even if it wasn't reclaimed?

More on silly signs and notices. A dayglo vest I bought has this on the tag: "Day or night use only."

Sometimes pictures say it better than words:

http://demotivate.me/mediafiles/500/...AM_obvious.bmp

Getting a Pilots licence should be easy:

http://slightlywarped.com/wp-content...e22f643fc0.jpg

This one should be all casinos:

http://66.media.tumblr.com/1155767e6...m9bpo1_500.png

Any of you fuckers got some good signs stating the obvious, please add them here.

Abuse of the "We" word in business. Like websites selling stuff and saying things like:

"We have in stock."
"We have a wide range of goods."
"We value your custom."

When most of them are one-man shows run by from some fat bastards bedroom.

"Have a nice day" really annoys me. So does the recent one "Enjoy."
Who the fuck dictates that staff say that to customers when we buy goods or get something in a restaurant? It's so annoying when the staff saying these things don't know us, have never seen us before and really don't give a fuck if we enjoy the food or have a nice day or not.

I wish they would just stick to the traditional "thank you" and leave it at that.

Pumping gas, I hate pumping gas. Or, in the case of my truck, I hate pumping diesel. Almost every time I splash some on my shoes or clothes, and even if I don't spill any my hands smell of diesel which gets on the steering wheel. There is rarely any paper available at pumps to wipe our hands either.
Do any of you remember gas station attendants? They were everywhere whan I started driving in the mid-1970's. Why did they ever get rid of gas station attendants? Fucking greedy penny-pinching gas station owners I bet. I don't recall gas getting any cheaper when they kicked out the attendants and made us pump it ourselves. Greedy penny-pinching cunts.

Web sites that still ask if I will accept cookies. I mean that's old old news now, we don't need prompting or reminding anymore. Fuck off.

When I meet up with casual acquaintances out with a new group of people and someone starts telling a story about something that happened. They tell us what each person in the story said and did. The thing is, I never met anyone in the story and don't have a fucking clue who they are. Very annoying.

Oh yeah and the fuckers that keep interrupting me when I'm talking, trying to anticipate what I'm going to say next. Impatients cunts, can't wait a second for me to finish what I'm saying.

Fuckers that have a long story to explain their tattoo. Why the fuck does it have to take more than a few words to describe the fucking thing? If I want a story I'll buy a fucking book, you cunt.

Family members showing old pictures that I'm in, usually with spotty faced and long greasy hair. I get embarrassed by them. I thought I'd thrown them all out but my cunt of a sister has piles of them and passes them around at every family meeting or funeral. Not content with that, lately she is scanning the fuckers and posting them on Facebook.

Wassup, w'sup, bro, braw and any other variations usually uttered by white teenagers pretending they are black (or maybe wishing they were). Move over to the black neighborhood you cunts, see how welcome you are there.

Shop assistants that don't listen to what you are saying. For instance, I was in a mall in Denver last year, my grandson wanted some shoes that weren't available in Canada yet. The assistant who brought me the fucking overpriced shoes wanted to sell me a can of cleaner for them. I explained to her that I had a flight and that stuff isn't allowed in hand baggage (which was all I was taking). Like a true salesperson, she went on and on and told me the cleaner was on special offer and how good it was.
I really wanted to yell at her "you stupid cunt are you trying to have me arrested at the airport? Don't you understand plain english or is your hearing fucked?" But she was blond, very pretty and had a nice rack, so I bit my tongue, explained it again so she (eventually) understood that I really didn't want to bend over and have my ass fingered at the airport because of some can of special offer shoe cleaner.

Also, I made a mental note to dedicate my next masturbation to her. "How may I help you sir?" By licking my balls and swallowing my cum you stupid cunt. :skull-bee

People who eat with their mouths open. My brother in law does it all the time. I fucking hate when I have to sit beside him or facing him at gatherings. People like that are ignorant bastards.

People who text me asking me to call them back and when I do, they don't fucking answer because their phone ringer is on silent!

Meter readers that call when I'm at work and leave a card that says "Sorry we missed you. How can we ensure our meter reader can gain access in the future?"
I usually fill in the meter reading on the card, then in answer to the question I write "Beats me buddy. You keep calling when I'm at work. Can't you get the message after 17 years or are you just dumb?" I get pleasure dropping that in the mail.